Well, I waited as long as I could, but alas, this crap does not, in fact, write itself. The WWE writers probably did the same thing this week, because this show absolutely sucked. I’m not even going to bother reviewing it, instead opting to give you the match results instead.
First, there was Stephanie McMahon’s RAW Superstar forum. The only highlight was Santino rapping in honor of “the rapping singer Akorn (Akon)” being there.
Kelly Kelly def. Victoria for some ungodly reason. Victoria attacked K-squared after the match, but she was rescued by the rest of Beth Phoenix’s RAW Diva Survivor Series team, with Beth herself hitting her version of the Implant Buster on Victoria
Batista def. Manu, as if we didn’t see that coming. Afterwards, Batista told Orton that he’s hated him for three years, and he’s going to kick his ass on Sunday.
Stephanie McMahon introduced Hall of Famer Chief Jay Strongbow, who came out and waved. That’s it. Nothing else to see here.
Then there was more Orton/Rhodes talky crap.
Todd Grisham introduces us to Evan Bourne. Before Bourne can update us on his ankle injury, Mike Knox gets in his face – then walks away.
Shawn Michaels has had millions of tag team partners, but he’s teaming with Rey Mysterio for the first time tonight. Not only that, he recognizes Dolph Ziggler!
Miz and Morrison def. Shawn Michaels & Rey Mysterio in the only entertaining match of the night. Rey hit Miz with a 619, followed by HBK hitting Sweet Chin Music on him – but Morrison caught HBK with Sweet Chin Music of his own, allowing Miz to roll on top of HBK for the victory.
We get a John Cena video package. Want to see it? Tune in to ECW tonight and SmackDown on Friday, I’m sure you’ll catch it.
Jericho wants equal time, and Stephanie McMahon says it’s ok.
Kane tells JBL that he doesn’t take orders well.
JBL and Kane def. Cryme Tyme when JBL tagged himself in and hit the Clothesline from Hell on JTG.
Mike Knox attacked Evan Bourne backstage.
William Regal and Matt Hardy went to a double count out.
Jericho babbled on about beating Steve Austin and The Rock in one night and having beaten everybody else, and how he’s going to beat Cena this Sunday.
Randy Orton def. CM Punk in a Lumberjack Match. Orton hit the RKO after Regal distracted Punk. Afterwards, a 32 man brawl broke out to end the show.
Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed today and never miss another!