Tonight’s guest hosts for RAW were supposed to be Dule Hill and James Roday from Psych, but Roday had to have an appendectomy yesterday and will be unable to participate.  Hill will be hosting himself.  Also tonight, it’s the final RAW stop before the Royal Rumble.  Will Randy Orton and WWE Champion Sheamus continue to attempt to embarrass each other before their title match this Sunday?  What of the Royal Rumble participants?  How will Shawn Michaels react after Triple H dumped him over the top rope last Monday and proclaimed that he’s going to win the Royal Rumble?  Stick around and find out!

Yessir, we promised you a great main event tonight…

I don’t think “Burn It To The Ground” is an appropriate theme song for a show that features this much pyro.  King says that both Roday and Hill are guest hosting tonight.

Are you ready…



The Unified Tag Team Champions, DX, are in action tonight!  Last week, Triple H said he was going to win the Royal Rumble.  That’s a bunch of crap – I’m going to win the Royal Rumble, dammit!

Triple H starts his spiel, but stops to ask where Hornswoggle is.  HBK says he sent him home, that this is serious.  Triple H asks if we’re going to go over this again.  HBK says if he goes to the Rumble and wins, he’s got a shot at The Undertaker.  Triple H knows how much it means to him, and HBK wants him to just once see things from his position.  He wants to end the streak.  Is that too much to ask?  Triple H says that the thing is, it is too much to ask.  It’s the Royal Rumble.  It’s serious.  DX have been running around telling jokes – but that’s all over now.  It’s about getting a shot at the title at WrestleMania.  If that’s not somebody’s goal, they shouldn’t be here.  Triple H knows how much HBK wants The Undertaker, but Triple H wants the title shot, and the main event at ‘Mania.  DX can throw 28 other guys over the top rope, but then it’s Triple H vs. HBK – and Triple H is letting him know that they’re friends, but if he has to step on HBK’s dreams to get to his, that’s what he’ll do.  HBK says he understands.

It’s a new day!

Legacy don’t get 10 minutes of mic time tonight, but they do get to be the opponents for DX tonight.

DX  def. Legacy

Triple H tries for the Pedigree early to no avail.  We’ve got breaking news about our RAW co-hosts coming up after this…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK (Cody Rhodes is popular edition)>

@natty316 i have a feeling i’m going to sleep through Raw again lol

@WellYoureWrong It’s #TeamCody featuring Ted #wwe

@cjmyers86 #wwe ITS CODY!!! i want one for christmas…


Guess what the big news about our guest hosts is?  Did you say “James Roday isn’t here?”  Congratulations, you’ve been paying more attention than Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.  They actually have no idea why he’s not here, apparently.  Anyways, HBK is rolling, but DiBiase distracts him from the outside, allowing Rhodes to hit a surprise neckbreaker and get the tag in to Ted.  Legacy take control.  HBK gets the tag in to Triple H, and after a bit of infighting between the two DX members, HBK hits Sweet Chin Music on DiBiase for the victory.

DX high five after the match, though they don’t look happy about it.  This Friday, they’ll be on SmackDown to defend their tag titles against CM Punk and Luke Gallows.

This Thursday, John Cena will be on USA’s Psych.


@xsmootx #RAW  Hey, Jerry Lawler, you have a computer at ringside. LOOK IT UP! God, the home audience is more informed than the announcers. #BWF

@B_alpha_male  I really wish somebody NEW would win the rumble this year, #wwe #raw #bwf

@CT_FOX I wouldn’t be surprised if Punk/Gallows win Unified TagTeam belts on #Smackdown from #DX. It will accumulate their breakup #wwe #wrestling

@robbyfischer  CM Punk has a Disiciple now? Like Hogan did back in the day? No wonder Rock wants to clean this up! #bwf

@joep82 if there was a barber shop window near, i bet HHH would get thrown right through it! #raw #wwe  #bwf

Last Week: The Big Show knocked out MVP on behalf of The Miz.

MVP is here, and I kinda miss his tunnel entrance.  That was cool and fit his character.  MVP says that he needs to tell The Miz that he’s the United States Champion, and the problem is that MVP is the number one contender.  Miz can hide behind guest hosts, behind the Big Show, but he can’t keep running away.  Eventually he’ll have to defend the title against MVP, who will take it from him and become a 3 time US Champion, because he’s straight up ballin’!

The Miz has heard enough.  Straight up ballin’ huh?  What is that?  A euphemism for some unspeakable act MVP picked up during his time in jail?  Miz finds it shocking that MVP has been incarcerated and all these people accept him, but can’t stand Miz.  Miz is treated like an outcast, but while MVP was taking mugshots, Miz was a reality TV star.  While MVP was making license plates, Miz was becoming a bigger star than anybody in this building.  Maybe that’s why everybody hates him.  MVP says they don’t like him because he’s a jackass.  MVP says Miz wouldn’t be disliked in prison.  Everybody would like him and fight over him.  What kind of friendship do Miz and Big Show have?  Miz would love to come and have a US Title match right now.  MVP asks why he doesn’t.  Miz has a friend that wants to make a statement, since the Rumble match is in 6 days.  MVP should enjoy his match with The Big Show, while Miz enjoys being the United States Champion, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!

Well…. It’s the Big Show!

The Big Show makes his way to the ring, and we’ve got ourselves a match.

The Big Show def. MVP

Big Show makes short work of MVP – so short in fact, that I blinked and missed it.

Still to come: Mr. McMahon makes a decision on Bret Hart’s WWE future.


@AlyKat_730 ♥♥♥Miz♥♥♥

@Saiyavenger  YAY HOMOPHOBIA~! God, I hope Miz beats the living hell out of him. #BWF

@Graelam Ballin’? I’m not a jackass, but I don’t get it either MVP… Maybe ur just an asshole #BWF

Backstage, Legacy are arguing with one another.  Randy Orton comes in and says the three of them get on the same page but then Ted and Cody lose to DX.  Not only that, where were they when Sheamus attacked him last week?  Maybe it’s because the Rumble is coming up.  Only one man can win the Rumble, and at the Rumble, Orton is going to win against Sheamus with, or without Legacy.

John Cena is backstage with Dule Hill.  Cena plugs his appearance on Psyche this week before wondering where Roday is.  Hill tells him – guess what – that Roday had an emergency appendectomy.  Cena says he’d call it a nothing operation, but he’s had one and feels for the guy.  Cena leaves and The Miz comes on.  He can’t believe that Cena got on the show and not him.  Hill tries to give him an excuse, but Miz tells him that he’s more famous than Hill and Roday put together.  Hill says he’s putting Miz in a match.  Miz says “really.”  Hill tells him that he’s not into doing two year old SNL bits (yeah. Screw NBC!).

<COMMERCIAL BREAK (Miz is Controversial edition)>

@SadieandSAFE  Ok, @MiketheMiz  is now a complete ass..not just an ass. BORING!!! #WWE  #BWF

@PrincessXtyne  so legacy was incredibly smexy tonight…so is the Miz…very nice fashion sense too!

@TCBWR MVP has gone to jail and we love him. Miz is Miz and he’s a loser.

@Jas0nVelez  Miz is awesome.

@Saiyavenger  Did Cena just say use “skulduggery” in a promo? This almost makes up for him being a total tool! #BWF

Maryse is here, and this is a semi-final match in the Divas Championship tournament.  Maryse says that for the other Divas, they’re wasting their time.  Her promo is interrupted by Dule Hill playing with the pyro.  She protests, and he says it was an accident.  She says she doesn’t accept his apology, he’s a loser.  Maryse then goes off on Hill in French.  Eve interrupts the argument, as she’ll be Maryse’s opponent tonight.

Maryse vs. Eve Torres

Maryse dominates and picks up the victory with the French Kiss DDT to advance to the finals of the tournament.

Up Next: Mr. McMahon addresses Bret Hart


@Freakofmmh press 1 for english

@kickoutblog CAUTION: Raw Divas wrestling

The boss is here!  Look busy!

Mr. McMahon gives us an economics lesson – you buy low, and you sell high.  He says that he sold Bret Hart down the river to WCW, and he was never seen nor heard from again.  He ponders if there’s a reason to bring Bret back.  The fans chant “We Want Bret.”  McMahon says to be careful what you ask for.  Bret Hart will never again appear in the WWE.  He’s a businessman.  He does what’s right for business.  The fans disagree.  McMahon says they must know more about business than he does, which must mean we’re in a building full of billionaires.  McMahon takes his case to the people.  One guy tells him that Bret will beat his ass.  Another kid says that he’s awesome.  McMahon says he wants a good business reason to bring him back.  He hasn’t heard one.  He’s built an empire.  There is no reason to bring Bret Hart back – he’s a part of the past.  Mr. McMahon is concerned with the present and the future, not the past.  He thanks the fans for their consideration and kindness – but he’s interrupted as he tries to leave.


John Cena makes his way down to the ring with a mic in hand.  Cena says he’s not here to change McMahon’s mind.  Cena never had a problem with McMahon until recently.  He called Bret Hart a flavorless piece of gum.  A few weeks ago at MSG, he treated Roddy Piper like garbage.  Cena says that McMahon’s successful and has an ugly jacket.  McMahon says it’s better than the orange crap Cena wears.  Cena says wardrobe aside, his problem is that McMahon only sees the Superstars as commodities, who as soon as they pass their prime, they’re gone.  Is that what he thinks of HBK?  The Undertaker?  Cena himself?  McMahon doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Cena says the only thing McMahon cares about is stuffing his pockets and feeding his ego.  He brought Bret back just to make sure everybody watching would see him kick Bret in the gut.  McMahon’s not a coward, he’s pathetic.  Cena says that next week, McMahon will invite Bret Hart to RAW.  He deserves a chance to confront McMahon.  If he doesn’t, he’ll prove to everybody that they’re nothing more than a commodity to line McMahon’s wallet, and feed his ego.  Cena says that on McMahon’s 90th birthday, he’ll lift him out of his wheelchair and knock his false teeth down his throat.  Cena’s not out here to change McMahon’s mind – it’s a situation where McMahon has to do the right thing.  Cena leaves, and McMahon stops him.  He says that he’ll invite Bret Hart back right here next week.  If he has the guts, he can step in the ring, and Mr. McMahon won’t even flinch.  Since Cena wants his presence to be felt tonight, he’ll be in action.  He’ll be facing a man who’s humbled him.  The WWE Champion, Sheamus!


@_MFS_ cena you already are a chewed up piece of bubblegum that’s lost it’s flavor, what are you talking about? #WWE #RAW  #BWF

@R_Swinny Vince is wearing a new suit?! I thought he only had one. Or a collection of the same suits, at least.

@vickylandry i like vinces suit

@TheHouseShow Heel vince > #wwe #raw roster

@Miss_Dani_Baby  I thought only @the_ironsheik did the humblings around these parts

The United States Champion is here – and he’s AWESOME!  He came to play, according to his new theme song, which is available on Amazon this Thursday.  His opponent tonight is – kind of surprisingly – Kofi Kingston!  An interesting note, I looked up at my screen, where I have the Sabres/Canucks game on in picture-in-picture, and for a second it looked like Thomas Vanek was on Kingston’s titantron video wall dealie.

Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz

Miz is rolling in this match, but MVP’s music hits, causing the distraction and allowing Kingston to pick up the victory.

Carlito takes Dule Hill into the production truck.  Carlito tells him that he should’ve found him in the first place, so that he could’ve shown him around.  Hill asks what all the buttons do.  The production guy tells him that it will put a graphic up for the matchups.  Hill has him bring up Carlito’s graphic.  He asks if he just punched in a random code if somebody else’s graphic would come up.  The production guy says it would.  Hill decides that he’ll put Carlito in a match – next – against whoever comes up.  Carlito protests, until Hill punches in a code and reveals Carlito’s opponent to be… Kelly Kelly!


@cutiebeeo6 Aww, poor carlito is about to get squashed by Kelly Kelly. You know your career is ending when…..

@stevenamoney That was an interesting way to make a match. Kinda different. #WWE #RAW

@prettyheartless Isn’t the random graphic generator how they always book matches for Raw?

Carlito is already in the ring.  Kelly Kelly looks nervous about the match, when Santino’s music interrupts.  He tells her not to worry.  He’s got the best of RAW 2009 DVD, which he looks stupid in a lot.  He’s going to make things different this year.  He’s going to take Kelly’s place, he’s going to defeat Carlito, and he’s going to win the Royal Rumble.  Jack Swagger attacks Santino from behind, and Carlito gets out of the ring as Swagger and Santino enter.  Swagger dumps Santino over the top rope and celebrates like he’d just won the Royal Rumble.  Swagger’s not done yet though, he slams Santino face first into the ring post, knocking him unconscious.

Still to come tonight, John Cena takes on Sheamus.

Well folks, it’s 10:30 PM, and that means it’s time for me to get ready for my real job.  Taking over tonight as BWF RAW guest host is a frequent contributor and huge fan of The Miz, @AlyKat_730!

Look who ya just can’t seem to get rid of! I’m back again with tonight’s RAW Review. Thanks for letting me back!

We come back from the commercial break with Jerry Lawler saying that Santino had to do something… Carried out of ringside, I believe, but I was listening to Fozzy’s Martyr No More in the background.  Insert a Royal Rumble package telling us about the Royal Rumble.  Go figure, right??

That package ends with Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler talking about it to Skillet’s Hero.  I like both songs for the Royal Rumble this year.  They’re pretty good.  Anyway, Cole and Lawler tell us the rundown: The Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship, and Sheamus vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.

John Cena and Dulé Hill are talking about the upcoming Psych episode and Cena’s upcoming match.  They’re talking about James Roday, and Cena called him on the phone apparently.  James Roday says that he’s upset he’s not there.  He makes a joke about Cena’s finisher and about Sheamus.  Then, Alicia Fox comes up, and says that Dulé is psychic.  She asks who is going to win the match tonight.  He says that he sees a Fox standing victorious and he’s going to be ringside for her match.  She says that’s good, because if he’s wrong… and then walks away.  Then they talk about what she could mean by that.  Dulé doesn’t seem to like the idea of Mark Henry removing his appendix “the hard way”.  And, another commercial.

We come back to Dulé Hill sitting ringside with Cole and Lawler.  Next up? The Diva’s Championship Tournament… The other semi-final match!! It’s Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox.  I’m not sure what happened in the match, because Gail’s outfit was very shiny, and I like shiny things, but I do know that Alicia’s fluffy hair is starting to come back and she and Dulé were makin faces at each other the entire time.  Dulé is afraid of what might happen, apparently… Anyway, Gail wins, with… some vicious-looking move.  So, it’ll be Gail Kim vs. Maryse for the Diva’s Championship.  Alicia gets mad, asking what happened to her victory, and stops in front of Dulé.  He tells her he’s just an actor and she slaps the hell out of him before storming away. At least Jerry was there to help Dulé to his feet.  They finally stop playing Alicia’s obnoxious music to tell us that, still to come is the WWE Champion Sheamus against John Cena!!

We come back to be reminded that next week, Bret Hart will be back on RAW to confront Vince McMahon, and William Shatner is the special guest host next week!! Not only did he induct Jerry Lawler into the Hall of Fame, but he’s famous for movie rolls… and Star Trek.

Anyway, here comes the Main Event!! Sheamus makes his way to the ring, as we’re reminded that he’s the first Irish-born WWE Champion and that he’s going against Randy Orton on Sunday.  Sheamus stands there, blinding us all, for a few minutes as the sound crew gets their gear together and actually plays Cena’s entrance.  We’re reminded, yet again, about Cena getting “emotional” for the return of Bret Hart.

The two lock up and just push each other back and forth for a minute or so before Sheamus gets Cena in the corner.  They stare at each other for a minute, then Cena gets Sheamus in the corner.  Both of them play to the crowd once they get out of the corner.  Sheamus goes for a clothesline, but Cena counters and hits Sheamus with a running bulldog.  He went for a cover, but Sheamus kicked out.  Sheamus got John down, dropped a knee on the back of his head, and cornered Cena again, beating him until the ref forces him off.  A suplex from Cena, then another cover, but Sheamus kicks out again.  Cena Irish-whips Sheamus, who Irish-whips him back and knocks him down.  Then Sheamus hits him with a suplex, and goes for the cover.  Cena kicks out at two.  Sheamus steps on Cena’s hand, then ‘punches’ him in the face.  Cena’s in the corner, and Sheamus punches him again.  He then Irish-whips Cena across the ring into the opposite turn buckle.  Sheamus goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two again.  Cena rolls to the apron for a break, but Sheamus is there, putting his boot in Cen’a face and pushing him down, moving at a two-count from the ref.  Cena gets between the top and middle rope, and Sheamus runs at him, his knee hitting Cena in the face.  Cena falls outside the ring, and the ref starts a 10-count.  Cena gets on the apron at six, and Sheamus tries the running knee again, but Cena blocks, then gets back in and goes for an Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters and hits Cena with a DDT, only for Cena to kick out.  Sheamus then lifts Cena and drops him, then puts him in a submission hold.  Cena starts to power out, pulling Sheamus’ arms out, then tries to hit the STF, but Sheamus kicks him out of the ring.  Sheamus climbs out as well, grabbing Cena and punching him before throwing him into the steel steps.  The ref tries to get Sheamus to come back in the ring, but Sheamus ignores him in favor of yelling at Cena to ‘stay down’.  Sheamus then climbs back in the ring and the ref begins the count.  Cena doesn’t start moving until 8, and gets into the ring right before the 10 count ends.  Sheamus looks pretty shocked.  He drops an elbow on Cena, but Sheamus hurt his elbow.  They start going back and forth again, with Cena gaining the momentum.  He gets set up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and hits it with success.  Sheamus comes up, and grabs him in the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus counters.  Sheamus goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out.

Just because that block paragraph probably is killing you, we’ll start another one here.  Sheamus glares at Cena, the crowd cheers for Cena.  Then, Sheamus goes for the kick, but apparently it didn’t quite catch him.  Cnea got Sheamus in the STF, but Sheamus grabbed the rope and rolled out when Cena let go.  Cena climbs out, and Sheamus hits him with the boot.  Sheamus rolls back in, and the count out starts again.  At nine, Randy Orton comes into the ring and hits Sheamus with the RKO.  Randy then stares at Sheamus, and Jerry mentions that it’s an obvious disqualification, but Randy’s being all twitchy and staring at Sheamus, so no one really cares what Jerry’s saying.  Cena’s struggling to get back in the ring, and manages to get between the top and middle rope.  Randy tries to get him, but Cena wiggles out and delivers the Attitude Adjustment to Randy Orton.  We’re shown a replay of ‘where John Cena took it’ from Sheamus, and then Orton’s RKO, and then Cena’s Attitude Adjustment… as if we hadn’t just seen it for ourselves.

Anyway, that’s it for RAW this week.  Thanks for letting me guest host, BWF!! It was loads of fun!

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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