Home ▸ RAW ▸ RAW results 3/22/10

I think I’ve finally figured out the best way to do the Monday night shows.  I watched iMPACT as it was airing, and I was able to find a copy of RAW within minutes of it ending.  So since the only thing I know about tonight’s show is that Pete Rose is the guest host, without further adieu, let’s go!

The RAW Theme plays.  I wonder if Pete Rose wants to burn the Baseball Hall of Fame to the ground?

We’re live in San Jose for the last RAW before WrestleMania XXVI, and tonight we’ll see Triple H and Randy Orton take on Sheamus, Ted DiBiase, and Cody Rhodes in a handicap match.

Oh!  Oh, Shawn!

The Heartbreak Kid is kicking off the show tonight, fresh off of kicking The Undertaker’s teeth down his throat this past Friday Night on SmackDown.  Could this be the last time we see Shawn Michaels on RAW?  The ring ropes are white for some reason.  HBK’s got a feelin’.  It’s the same feeling he had right before he threw Marty Jannetty through the Barber Shop window in ’92, the same feeling he had when he beat Bret Hart for the WWE Championship in ’96, and the same feeling he got when he superkicked The Undertaker last Friday Night.  It’s the feeling that he can do anything, and by anything, he means beating The Undertaker at WrestleMania.  There may be a coincidence, but there’s a new HBK DVD out called “My Journey.”  Sort of feels like everything is coming to an end, but you should clear out some space on your DVD shelf, because he’s going to bring you volume two.  This isn’t the end, it’s the beginning.  He won’t be known as the main event, the Showstopper, the Heart Break Kid, the co-founder of DX, or even Shawn Michaels.  He can assure you this, he will forever be remembered as the one and only man who ended The Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak.  In six days, The Undertaker is going to…

The lights go out and a video package highlighting HBK’s career plays.  It ends with a vision of The Undertaker tombstoning HBK, and “SHAWN MICHAELS CAREER 1985-2010”

HBK smiles.  He appreciate’s Undertaker’s attempt to intimidate him, but if he wants to intimidate him, Undertaker should come out and say it to his face.

The MLB on FOX theme plays, and Pete Rose makes his way out to the stage.  He wishes HBK luck at WrestleMania.  17-0 is a great record, but HBK is the man to end that streak.  As guest host, Rose would like for HBK to compete tonight against The Undertaker’s brother Kane.  Same stipulations as WrestleMania.  Pete needs HBK to get revenge on Kane for all the things he’s done to him over the years.  HBK says he’ll not only get revenge for Rose, he’ll get it for himself as well.

King and Cole remind us of the first time Batista and John Cena squared off.  Then they show us a video of the match highlights, including Cena breaking his neck off of a Batista spinebuster and still managing to finish the match.  Tonight, we’ll see the final face off before WrestleMania between Champion and Challenger.

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@PrettySlimMont  Pete Rose aint aged a bit since gettin’ Tombstoned all those years ago. #bwfwwe

@dasharpshooters  How come Pete Rose is dressing like Turtle from Entourage? #wwe #raw #bwf  #bwfwwe

ShoMiz are the Unified Tag Team Champions.  They’re also on their way to the ring.  The Miz is also the United States Champion – and he’s the one who’s wrestling in the upcoming matchup.  Big Show joins in on commentary.  Miz’s opponent tonight is his former Tag Team Championship partner, John Morrison, who is accompanied by his tag team partner, R-Truth, who also joins in on commentary.

The Miz vs. John Morrison

The Miz has beaten Morrison a couple of times in the past, including back at Bragging Rights.  JoMo controls this one early, and when the action spills to the outside, we head to a…

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@MissieBird  #bwfwwe  this is like listening to those two old guys in the muppet balcony! (you’re thinking of Statler and Waldorf, by the way)

@SadieandRISE  LOL!! Morrison is too pretty to be dangerous! @No1Knucklehead  is pretty funny tonight! #WWE #BWFWWE

It’s The Miz in control when we come back, because during the break, Miz dropped Morrison’s neck across the ring apron.  Morrison manages to roll up Miz for a two count, but Miz regains control quickly.  It goes back and forth for a while with both men using some unique offense to their advantage.  Morrison manages to super-powerbomb Miz from the top rope, then he nails Starship Pain for the victory!

After the match, Show shoves Truth, but Morrison dropkicks Show.  The angry giant chases off his WrestleMania opponents.  Show will face Truth this Friday on SmackDown.

Triple H is getting ready in the back when Randy Orton walks in.  He wants to know why Orton would think Triple H wants to talk to him.  The past doesn’t just go away.  If Orton messes with Triple H tonight, he’ll drop him where he stands.  Orton says he’ll keep that in mind, but Triple H needs to remember he’s still got to make it to WrestleMania.

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@marciana86  Nice. Short, sweet, and straight to the point. That’s how it’s done #BWFWWE

@KrazGillespie  best match before wrestlemania ever! The Miz vs John Morrison!!! 😀

My favorite NFL team, the San Francisco 49ers, are in attendance at RAW, and they look like they’re having a lot of fun!

Last Month: Batista stole the WWE Championship from John Cena after Cena had competed in an Elimination Chamber match.

Jack Swagger is joining in on commentary, dressed in a nice suit.  We’re going to find out who will be the 10th man in the Money In The Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania.  Out first is Kofi Kingston, who got his ass kicked last week on RAW by The Animal, Batista.  His opponent is apparently a heel again – it’s Vladimir Kozlov.  Thwagger says he hopes Kofi wins because he doesn’t want any part of Kozlov.

Kofi Kingston def. Vladimir Kozlov to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match.

Speed vs. power in this one – and power looks to be winning, based on the early going in this one.  Kozlov works over Kingston’s back, but Kingston manages to cause enough separation to nail the Trouble In Paradise and pick up the victory.  Kofi Kingston is going to WrestleMania!

So, the Money In The Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania XXVI will now consist of Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, Matt Hardy, Dolph Ziggler, and MVP.

Still to come, it’s HBK vs. Kane in a Pinfall or Submission only match, but up next, Triple H and Randy Orton team to take on Legacy and Sheamus.

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@TKeep123 Swagger looks like that’s the first time he’s worn a suit…a JC Penny suit to be exact! #WWE #RAW  #BWF

@jimmyoh3 Kofi Kingston Mr Money in the Bank at WM26!!

WWE Hall of Fame: Stu Hart will be inducted by Bret Hart and the entire Hart Family

It’s a new day…

Cody Rhodes and TedDiBiase make their way to the ring for this handicap match.  They grab microphones, and Rhodes tells us that This Sunday it will be every man for himself, but he’ll get back to that in a second.  For 18 months, they’ve gone through verbal tirades, temper tantrums, and physical abuse, but they’re finally free.  Orton didn’t take them under his wing.  They would’ve been Superstars anyway.  They never needed Orton, Orton needed them.  DiBiase says that at WrestleMania, it doesn’t matter who wins, as long as Randy Orton loses.  His ignorance will be exposed.  Rhodes says that Orton was never the future of the WWE.  Rhodes is 6 years younger than Orton.  He’s 3 years younger than DiBiase.  DiBiase knows they’re not the most liked Superstars in the WWE, but it’s not the fans fault – jealousy is human nature.  The point is, the fans don’t respect them.  Orton doesn’t respect them, but by this time next week, we will.  Rhodes says it’s because he’s going to be the winner.  Sheamus makes his way out and completes the triumvirate of Superstars who will face Randy Orton and Triple H in a handicap match, NEXT!

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@jenrae73 #WWE  Wow Cody sounds like he’s been 2 some speech classes..Good 4 him! #Raw #BWF

@jojocheer28  Cody Rhodes  makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside! SideNote: I once said that to my Mom + she replied “that’s how i feel when I use a blanket”

It’s time to play the game….  TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

It’s time to play the game?  I hope it’s Scrabble!  I’m good at Scrabble!

I hear voices in my head…

Legacy & Sheamus def. Triple H & Randy Orton

Rhodes and Triple H kick things off.  Rhodes tags in DiBiasee, but it’s irrelevant – The Game controls the early going.  Things get crazy in the heel corner, and suddenly Triple H finds himself being beaten down by his overly white WrestleMania opponent.  The young guns know their way around a wrestling ring – and they prove it by trapping Triple H in their corner and using frequent tags to keep a fresh man in the ring.  As I often say, Gorilla Monsoon would be proud.  Triple H finally causes some separation by dropping Rhodes with a Spinebuster.  He tags in Orton, who starts to clean house.  He looks for the RKO on Sheamus, but can’t resist trying to hit the elevated DDT when he sees Rhodes getting back in the ring.  Sheamus nails Orton with a Pump Kick then pins him for the victory.

Legacy roll Triple H back in the ring for Sheamus, but The Game ducks the Pump Kick and dumps Sheamus to the outside.

Video: John Cena beats Batista via disqualification to earn a shot at the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.

Bret Hart is up next!

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@Vargatude  Next on Marvel Team-Up, Triple-H and Randy Orton team up to take on Groundskeer Willy and the Young Stallions v.2

@DJS92491 Triple H looking bad the day before Wrestlemania? pfffft Dude’s expecting another child from the bosses daughter, he’s Super H  right now.

Last Week: Bret Hart revealed that he faked his injury to convince Mr. McMahon to fight him at WrestleMania.

The Hitman is here tonight, and he’s got something to say.  When he came back a couple months ago, he never believed he’d get another shot to compete at WrestleMania.  12 years ago he left the WWE, and it left a bad taste in his mouth.  He can still taste it today.  He’s now got a chance to leave on a good note, because he’s got just what he wanted.  A no holds barred match with Mr. McMahon.  For years, Vince has said “Bret screwed Bret,” but next week all you’ll hear is “Bret beat Vince.”  Vince called Bret’s family a bunch of dysfunctional derelicts, but next week in Phoenix, there’s going to be more dysfunctional Harts in Phoenix than you can shake a stick at to induct Stu Hart into the Hall of Fame, and that’s going to be a great night for the Hart family.  Shawn Michaels told Mr. McMahon that if he let Bret come back to WWE, good things will happen, and for Bret, that’s exactly what’s going to happen when he gets his hands on Vince next week at WrestleMania.  He remembers all the great WrestleMania matches he’s had, including his match with Owen at WrestleMania X.  At WrestleMania 26, it’ll be the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.

The boss is here, look busy!  Mr. McMahon comes out to the stage, and he says that one way or another, Bret is screwed this Sunday.

Pete Rose runs into Shawn Michaels backstage and wishes him luck in his match with Kane.

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@LINDSEY_LOPEZ  Its cool to know that Bret  Hart can still cut a wicked promo

@A_m_breezy  Bret did a mini mention of Owen. its so horrible how his name is almost forbidden in the ring. R.I.P Owen Hart

Oh!  Oh Shawn!

Could this be Shawn Michaels’ last match ever on RAW?  It could conceivably be his last match ever on free TV provided he doesn’t wrestle on SmackDown and loses to The Undertaker this Sunday.  The Big Red Monster, who I wish would go back to his Finger Eleven theme now that he’s virtually a face again, is in the Money In The Bank match at WrestleMania, but tonight, Kane may have the honor of being HBK’s last match on free television.

Shawn Michaels def. Kane

Kane is on the offense early on.  Perhaps Shawn is looking past Kane to his match this Sunday against The Undertaker?  Kane goes for the top rope clothesline, but HBK catches him and locks on the Crippler Crossface, but Kane fights out of it.  Kane goes for a chokeslam, but HBK rolls out of it and locks Kane in an ankle lock.  HBK nails the flying burrito (if you get that reference, good for you!), then climbs to the top for the flying elbow.  He starts tuning up the band, but the lights go out.  When they come back on, it’s not Kane in the ring – it’s The Undertaker, who chokeslams HBK.  The lights go back out, and when they come back on, it’s Kane standing over HBK, not The Undertaker.  Kane goes for the pin, but HBK kicks out!  Kane goes for a tombstone, but HBK nails Sweet Chin Music and picks up the victory!

Video: Batista destroys John Cena, allowing Mr. McMahon to pin Cena.

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@dasharpshooters  KANE YOU FAIL AT PINFALL!!! #wwe #raw  #bwf

@Emmiilliioo23  did Shawn Michaels  die?

This Friday on SmackDown – 10 man tag team action, and Vickie Guerrero faces Beth Phoenix.

Jerry Lawler read a short list of WrestleMania celebrities.  Michael Cole reminds us that there is a celebrity wing in the WWE Hall of Fame, which leads us to…

WWE Hall of Fame:  Bob Uecker was a part of WrestleMania III and WrestleMania IV, and now he’s a part of the WWE Hall of Fame.  Congratulations, Bob!  We’re gonna go watch Major League in your honor.  Dick Ebersol will be inducting him.

We get a rundown of the ‘Mania card.  Here it is as it stands right now:

Streak vs. Career: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No Holds Barred: Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon

Triple H vs. Sheamus

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio – if Mysterio loses he has to join the Straight Edge Society

World Heavyweight Championship: Chris Jericho defends against Edge

WWE Championship: Batista defends against John Cena.

Interesting to note that at least two matches were left out.  Those matches are:

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Christian, Shelton Benjamin, Kane, Drew McIntyre, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, MVP, Evan Bourne, and Matt Hardy

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship: ShoMiz defend against John Morrison & R-Truth

Backstage, Pete Rose is chatting with Christian.  He feels good, he’s gotten his revenge on Kane.  Christian congratulates him.  Rose opens the door to his dressing room, and Kane is inside.  Rose feels his luck has changed?  Don’t bet on it.

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@PrettySlimMont  Man them sound effects of Kane beatin’ Pete came off the Wiley Coyote cartoons. #wwe  raw #bwfwwe

@BackoftheHead  Bob Uecker  is being inducted into the #WWE Hall of Fame by Dick Ebersol? I guess @ConanOBrien  is never going in the #WWE Hall of Fame then.

Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, and Eve are already in the ring.  Kelly Kelly and Mickie James are in their corner.  Didn’t I already cover a multi woman clusterf#*( today?  They’ll be taking on Michelle McCool, Maryse, and Layla, who are accompanied by Vickie Guerrero and… um… Is that Alicia Fox out there?

Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, and Eve vs. Maryse, Layla, and Michelle McCool

Gail Kim ate a Styles Clash Faith Breaker and this one was over.  Seriously, it was that quick.

Last Monday: Big Show defeated John Cena thanks to interference by Batista.

Batista is surrounded by security and walking in the back.  He and John Cena have their final confrontation before WrestleMania, NEXT!

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@iwantcandi  Women’s wrestling for 3-22 TNA Knockouts 8:40, WWE Divas 3:46… Very short Divas  match but 2nd to main event. WWE wins again.

@divadirt WWE’s treatment of the Divas  leaves you with more questions than six seasons of Lost. I think they’d be better off on a deserted island.

Next week, RAW is guest hosted by the cast of Hot Tub Time Machine.

Batista comes to the ring flanked by security.  Apparently, he doesn’t walk alone.  His theme song is lying to me.  He gets in the ring and grabs a mic.  He says to go ahead and boo him, and says “Say hello to the bad guy” in a mocking tone.  Boo him all you want.  There’s something that we’ll have to get used to – Batista is the WWE Champion, and John Cena is going to lose at WrestleMania.  Cena can’t beat Batista.  He never has beaten Batista.  When he and John Cena are in the same ring, bad things happen to Cena.  That won’t change this Sunday.  The fans love Cena.  Batista mocks Cena’s catch phrases.  Batista’s the bad guy because he’s honest.  The fans mean nothing to Batista.  He’s here to win titles and make money.  When he looks at the fans, he doesn’t see fans, he doesn’t see people, he sees money.  He sees fat people in the audience and he knows they paid for two seats.  We hate him for his honesty, but we all pay to see him.  Cena will disappoint you on Sunday at WrestleMania.  That’s all he has to say.  He knows the fans want Cena to come out and run his mouth, get them all excited, give them all a bunch of false hope.  He invites Cena down, and after a brief moment….

BRRRRRRRRRRDAMNITSCOLD!

John Cena heads to the ring, and Batista stands behind his security team.  Cena says he’s already disappointed these people.  That happened the second Batista became the WWE Champion.  A “you can’t wrestle” chant breaks out.  Cena’s lost confidence in himself, and the fans have lost confidence in him.  Every week, Batista comes out and tells everybody how lousy they are and how great he is, Cena tries to stop him, and fails.  He’s always given people a chance to believe.  No matter how bad the situation was, he always believed in himself.  He doesn’t know if he even has a chance.  Batista says “there you have it.”  Cena’s just like these people.  He’s a loser.  Cena says it’s the first thing Batista’s said in the last four weeks that made any sense.  Cena is just like these people.  Batista’s not above anybody else.  He gets paid a lot of money to take people out, but Cena is living proof that he should be fired because he’s not very good at his job.  Batista wonders where Cena’s been the last four weeks.  He was on his back.  Cena says that if Batista was any good at his job, he wouldn’t be staring at security.  He wouldn’t be standing here at all.  Cena was pretty shook, but Batista took his glasses off.  Cena doesn’t see an animal.  He sees Dave Batista.  Batista can be beaten.  Dave Batista will be beaten.  Dave Batista needs to know that Sunday at WrestleMania, Cena is taking back the WWE Championship.  If Batista isn’t going to make a move, Cena’s done talking.  Batista calls Cena a corporate creation.  Cena decks him, and the security can barely hold him back, but Batista escapes as Cena takes out all the security guards.  Can Cena win the title this Sunday at WrestleMania?

My Thoughts: I may like Batista a lot more now than I have at any other point in his career, but his promos still bore the hell out of me.  Cena too.  It wasn’t that it was a bad promo, it was just kind of boring.  What was up with the Divas only getting a couple of minutes for their match?  Also, does WWE really think that having a talking segment in the last 10 minutes of the show will continue to beat TNA iMPACT’s last ten minutes which have regularly featured Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam for the past few weeks?  Ah well, who cares – WrestleMania is THIS SUNDAY!  I can’t wait!

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