Admittedly, I’m not really looking forward to a commercial free RAW, but at least it’s being presented by my hero, Donald Trump, the “new owner” of RAW.  Triple H will challenge Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match for the WWE Championship tonight as well, and it’s starting as I type this, so let’s go!

Last Monday, Randy Orton won the WWE Championship for the 5th time, Donald Trump “bought” RAW, and Triple H won a battle royal for the number one contendership.

The RAW opening video has been changed to include Donald Trump at the beginning.  There’s still WWE branding on the stage, but there’s also a lot of TRUMP branding as Michael Cole welcomes us to the commercial-free RAW that is the start of the Donald Trump era.  Tonight, it’s Last Man Standing, Triple H vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.

Lillian Garcia introduces and welcomes the new owner of Monday Night RAW, Donald Trump, who is accompanied by Kelly Kelly out to the stage.  He welcomes everybody to Monday Night RAW.  Even though he owns RAW and he loves it, it’s not his show, it’s our show.  Tonight, RAW is commercial free to prove it.  More importantly, for the people in the arena, they’re getting World Championship Matches, better than Vince would’ve given us, Donald’s a giver, so after the show is over, he’s giving everybody a full refund!  Now that’s how to excite an audience.  $245,000 he’s giving back.  Only Trump would do that, enjoy the show.

John Cena is out first with a knockoff of the John Deere logo that says “ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT” on it.  He says to stop the presses.  First things first, his hat is off to The Donald.  Tonight we’re all part of a WWE Championship match between Triple H and Randy Orton, and on top of that, The Donald says we’re going commercial free.  Tonight he even put Cena in a match with The Big Show.  Cena’s most proud of the fact that if you hold on to your ticket stubs, when the show is over you’ll get free money.  Trump’s been here two minutes and already knows how to make a statement.  Speaking of making a statement, watch this.

A video package airs of The Miz mocking Cena.  Because he’s THE MIZ…. and he’s… AWESOME!

Cena says The Miz always has something interesting to say.  I bet he’s got something to say this week, so let’s bring him out.  The Miz appears on the top of the ramp, mic in hand.  Cena wants to know what Miz has to say?  Miz has said everything to him and he’s done nothing, because he’s a coward.  Cena says it’s a strange word choice, when Cena is in the ring and Miz is all the way up the ramp.  Miz starts walking down to the ring, and steps into it.  He walks right up to John Cena and he says “you’re a coward.”  Cena says that normally, this is the portion of the show where The Miz starts to pick up his own teeth, but since we had a good start, just for coming to the ring, he’s going to give Miz what he wanted.  Miz wants to be the highlight of Monday Night RAW, well, congratulations, you’ve got your chance.  The good news is, for the first time ever, The Miz will main event a PPV this Sunday at The Bash when he has a match with John Cena.  That’s also the bad news.  For two months, Miz has come out to run his mouth about Cena.  Does he know who he’s dealing with.  He put his life on the line in the Hammerstein Ballroom, was booed out of the Hall of Fame ceremony and had 80,000 people telling him he can’t wrestle at WrestleMania, but he’s still here.  Cena says The Miz has 6 more days before he realizes that The Real World has been cancelled.  6 more days before he realizes he’s not a reality show has-been, he’s a WWE never-was.  This is the part of the show where he puts his tail between his legs, heads to the locker room, and prays that on Sunday he makes it out in one piece.  The Miz decks Cena and runs back up the entrance.

Earlier today, Mr. McMahon was having limo troubles.  The limo driver suggests Mr. McMahon head to the gas station, but he’s never been in a gas station in his life, what’s another plan?  The driver suggests they walk, since the arena isn’t too far away.  McMahon says they are going to walk.  He jumps on the limo driver’s back and orders him to walk.  The driver falls over and McMahon kicks him while he’s down, telling him to call his boss and tell him that Mr. McMahon is going to the arena in a limo, and he’s not going to be the one to drive him.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT!  Todd Grisham and Jim Ross are eating Kentucky Grilled Chicken and they’re here because Donald Trump asked SmackDown to have a presense.  Later tonight is Mr. McMahon’s farewell address, but up first, it’s Jeff Hardy!

Hardy almost falls at the top of the stage, and we’re set for tag action, apparently.  Jeff’s first partner is The Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali!  They’re teaming with Rey Mysterio.  Chris Jericho makes his way to the ring first for his team.  He’s followed by Dolph Ziggler and then by Edge. CM Punk joins JR and Todd Grisham on commentary and we’re set for action!

Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, and The Great Khali def. Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, and Edge

  • Khali starts the match off tossing all three opponents to the floor.  Jeff Hardy hits a suicide dive on all three of them, followed by Rey Mysterio diving off of Khali’s shoulders onto them.
  • Khali starts to climb the the ropes but is stopped short by Chris Jericho.
  • CM Punk asks if he can have some chicken.
  • Edge catches Hardy with the spear.  Jericho tries a codebreaker on Khali, which is followed by a spear from Edge.  Mysterio hits a 619 on Edge.  Jeff Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and a Swanton on Dolph Ziggler to pick up the win for his team.

CM Punk leaves the broadcast table, saying that a win like that deserves a face to face congratulations.  Punk raises Hardy’s arm before Hardy realizes who was in the ring with him.  He swats Punk’s arm away and leaves with Rey Mysterio.

Mr. McMahon has arrived at the building and is locked out of Donald Trump’s office.  He’s met by Santina Marella, who is excited to finally have the chance to meet him.  She puts her hand out for him to kiss, which he slaps away.   Santina suggests Mr. McMahon and The Donald share an office.  They can call it McDonalds.  The Donald comes out of the office, he tells Mr. McMahon that it’s not his office anymore, his office is down the hall.  Santina introduces himself to Mr. Trump, who says he’s doing the same thing to her tonight that he did to Miss California.  She’s fired!  Santino runs in and realizes his sister has been fired.  He thinks there must be something he can do, before realizing she had a good run.

Apparently, the Kentucky Grilled Chicken belongs to The King, who realizes JR stole a piece.

Primo is in singles competition tonight.  That’s what I get for eating an apple before RAW.  Primo says that he thinks Pricele$$ are cool, because they get to hang out with the WWE Champion.  Carlito agrees, they get to drive Randy around and they all go to the beach together, and that Ted rubs oil on Orton’s body like nobody else.  Primo says that’s not cool, and that after the Bash, they’ll still be unified WWE Tag Team Champions.  Priceless’s new music hits, and it’s Cody Rhodes set to take on Primo in this upcoming matchup.

Cody Rhodes def. Primo

  • Cody Rhodes picks up the win after rolling through a Primo cross body from the top rope and hooking the tights.

Mr. McMahon is in the RAW locker room, and he’s greeted by Goldust and Hornswoggle.  Goldust says his wig looked so good on Goldberg he was thinking of giving it to Donald Trump.  He puts it on Mr McMahon’s head to see what it looks like on a billionaire.  Mr. McMahon tosses the wig down before Goldust tells him where his office is – it’s a toilet stall.  McMahon says he just wants one shred of dignity tonight.  Then the toilet flushes.  Festus comes out of Mr. McMahon’s “office” and hands him a copy of the Wall Street Journal.

Video package detailing the recent history between Triple H and Randy Orton

“The following is the Last Man Standing match, and it is for the WWE Championship. Now in this match there are no pinfalls, disqualifications, submissions, or countouts.  The only way to win this match is to incapacitate your opponent until he can no longer answer the referee’s count of ten.”

-Lillian Garcia

Triple H makes his way out first, followed by the WWE Champion Randy Orton, and we’re set for main event action – before the first hour even ends!

Randy Orton vs. Triple H in a Last Man Standing Match ended in a draw.

  • This is the third Last Man Standing match between these guys.  Orton won his second WWE Championship (in one night!) in the first one, and Triple H broke Orton’s collarbone to take the title back in the second.
  • Championship introductions here, as per usual
  • It doesn’t take long for the match to spill out to the floor and into the crowd, where Orton gets counted to four.
  • Orton knocks Triple H down with the steel steps, earning himself a four count.
  • Orton continues to work on the leg of Triple H.
  • Orton scores an 8 count off of a chair shot.
  • Orton reverses a Pedigree into an RKO onto the announce table to get a 9 count
  • Triple H scores an 8 count off of a back body drop onto the table.
  • Triple H hits Orton with the monitor, but Orton gets right back up – albeit dazed.
  • Triple H hits a spinebuster on the entrance ramp, earning a 9 count.
  • Orton reverses a Pedigree into a backdrop onto the entrance ramp, keeping The Game down for 7
  • Triple H tosses Orton over the guardrail and gets an 8 count
  • Triple H attempts to hit Orton with a ladder, but Orton ducks and a member of the WWE Staff gets hit with it instead.
  • Orton uses the ladder on Triple H’s leg, and then hits him in the face with it.  He sandwiches Triple H’s leg between it and stomps away at it.
  • Orton sets up the ladder on the top of the stage, grabs Triple H’s neck and starts climbing.  The Game doesn’t allow him to hit the RKO, however.
  • Triple H hits a Pedigree on the top of the stage, but as he hurt his knee on the way down as well, neither man answers the 10 count, allowing Orton to retain.

Triple H gets a last shot in on Randy Orton as he leaves, but Orton is still the WWE Champion.

The Miz meets up with Maryse backstage.  She tells him again not to waste his time until he does something impressive to John Cena.  He asks if she means like what he did to him earlier in the night.  She says that one cheap shot doesn’t mean anything.  Miz says that he proved that Cena can’t rattle him.  In 6 days, he’ll prove he belongs here, because he’s the Miz, and he’s… cut off by Maryse who tells him again to do something impressive.

This Friday, Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio will face Edge and Chris Jericho in a steel cage.

The new owner of Monday Night RAW, Donald Trump makes his way back out to the ring, accompanied by Maria and Eve.  Earlier today he had a press conference, accompanied by all of the Divas.  The Donald says that earlier tonight he told the fans they’re all getting their money back.  For all of us watching television, no commericals.  Never happened before.  The new General Manager that Vince wanted to appoint?  Trump isn’t going to appoint one.  He’s going to appoint a celebrity host every week.  Oh boy.  It could be an actor, a great looking actress, a WWE Champion, but every week it will be somebody different, because The Donald doesn’t believe in general managers.  We’re going to run things properly, and The Donald is going to be working from us, and we’ll get lots of freebies from Donald Trump.  The greatest thing to happen is going to be WrestleMania 26, which will be fantastic.

The Donald is interrupted by Mr. McMahon.  Mr. McMahon says he didn’t know he was going to do a commerical free RAW.  He didn’t know The Donald was going to give the people in Green Bay their money back.  Mr. McMahon doesn’t believe they deserve their money back.  Mr. McMahon says he can’t do this every week.  If he did that, Mr. McMahon would be bankrupt.   Trump says this is peanuts.  He paid a big price for RAW and can do whatever the hell he wants.  Mr. McMahon says it’s not fair.  Trump says that a lot of people want to buy RAW from him, and he could double what he paid for it any time.  Mr. McMahon realized that Trump played him.  It’s a well orchestrated plan.  They’ll drive him into bankruptcy and…  Mr. McMahon admits that Trump is smarter than him.  Mr. McMahon wants to buy RAW back for the same amount of money Trump paid him.  Trump has no interest whatsoever.  Mr. McMahon offers what he was paid plus 25%.  Trump says no, he likes the people and likes giving them free admission.  McMahon offers 50% more than what Trump paid.  Trump says no deal.  McMahon says 75%.  Trump says no.  He’d better get his numbers up.  McMahon offers double.  Trump asks the fans, who boo the idea.  Trump tells him he’s got a deal.  McMahon says that if Trump ever crosses his path again, he’ll knock him on his billionaire butt.  McMahon tells Trump “YOU’RE FIRED!”  The fans chant “Donald Trump,” as the now former owner of RAW slaps Mr. McMahon.  Trump waves to the fans as he leaves, and they cheer him.

Michael Cole says he’s hungry, and The King offers to sell him his Kentucky Grilled Chicken for twice what he paid for them.

Video package detailing the recent rivalry between John Cena and The Big Show.

Randy Orton is being attended to by trainers.  McMahon sends Pricele$$ out of the building.  He tells Orton that if he thinks he’s in pain now, wait until the Bash this Sunday.  Orton says he can’t even stand, let alone fight.  If McMahon has any decency…  McMahon says that he’ll show him decency.  This Sunday he’s facing Triple H again, but this time it’s two out of three falls.  The first fall is a regular match, second fall is falls count anywhere, and if necessary, the third fall is a stretcher match.  God I hate stretcher matches.  McMahon tells him to enjoy his hurt, because he will.

Mickie James and The Bella Twins def. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendez, and Maryse

  • Who needs commercials?  We’ve got Diva matches!
  • Mickie James hits a superkick on Rosa Mendez to pick up the win.

Did you know?

WWE likes to stroke its own ego and masturbate its giant imaginary wang raw with more self-promoting half-truths and obvious lines than the New York Yankees, Dallas Cowboys, Los Angeles Lakes, Duke University Basketball, and Notre Dame Football combined.  (Thanks for this interesting fact, GreenTeabagger!)

Video package detailing that the Chicago Cubs are John Cena fans.  Apparently because Alfonso Soriano does the “You Can’t See Me” hand gesture.

Cole and The King get in the ring and run down the card for The Bash.

The Big Show def. John Cena

  • Thanks to JT for covering the main event, as per usual.
  • They keep promoting the Kentucky Grilled Chicken (hey I thought this was supposed to be commercial free?)
  • Oh yeah if you’re reading this you missed the special look at the new Transformers movie.  (Unless, of course, you saw it and are just reading for the BWF take on things.)
  • Middle of the ring face to face
  • Cena controls early
  • Big Show catches Cena mid air and slams him, then spears him and stands on his neck, goes for the pin, 2 count.
  • SHHHHH, Big Show slap on Cena
  • Show tries again but misses, Cena gains control, then loses it to a Show powerbomb and rolls outside of the ring.
  • Cena gets back in the ring, tries for some offense, but it is ineffective
  • Show dominates
  • Cena goes for a headlock, Show then suplexes him, goes for a pin, 2 count.
  • Show continues to dominate.
  • Leg drop, attempt another pin, 2 count.
  • Show stands over Cena with a big grin on his face.
  • Cena gains control, hits leg drop off the ropes.
  • U can’t see me, 5 knuckle shuffle, then Show hits a chokeslam, pin, 2 count.
  • Show to 2nd rope, splat on Cena, then Show gets up.
  • Show goes for the Camel Clutch, but Cena counters to the STFU
  • Show almost taps out, until The Miz comes out
  • Cena then goes for the F-u Attitude Adjuster, then Miz interferes causing Show to knock Cena down for the 1,2,3. Big Show wins!

The Miz stands over John Cena, while Big Show’s music plays.

To the back- Orton is leaving, but is then attacked by HHH.  We fade to black with HHH telling Orton that “This Sunday, you’re going to hell!”

My Thoughts:

So much for the Sanitna Marella and Donald Trump storylines.  Though it would look as though we may wind up with another Battle of the Billionaires out of this.

For a few moments, it was bugging me that Vince was so concerned about Trump’s giving away RAW for free, since it’s Trump’s show, but then I realized, despite being owned by Donald Trump, RAW is still operated under franchise to the WWE, meaning it’s still a concern for Mr. McMahon.  I’ll admit, tonight’s show didn’t drag nearly as much as recent episodes.  Whether it’s because of the lack of commercials or because the quality of the show was higher is debatable.  Really, it could have been the energy of the crowd, who were buzzing all night because they were told they were getting their money back – and I’m sure they will be, despite the twist in the storyline that might suggest otherwise.

I hate stretcher matches, and I hate the fact that I may have to see one on Sunday.  I’m not thrilled about that, but whatever.  Speaking of Pay Per Views, I know this is the WWE RAW review, but I’ve got to recommend “calling your local cable provider and ordering the replay” of TNA’s Slammiversary.  It was actually that good.

Nothing really stands out about tonight’s episode, but that doesn’t mean it was bad.  It was an interesting show to watch, in a good way.  It still won’t likely hold a candle to ECW tomorrow night (I’ll be here again to do the real-time!) or SmackDown on Friday,  but it was an entertaining two hours nonetheless.

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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1 Comment

  1. "CM Punk asks if he can have some chicken." – GOLD!

    The "Smackdown" match with Edge, Jericho, and Jeff Hardy was good. Mickie James looked good in her match. The Miz is, as he says, awesome, and beyond that, I did not have quite as much fun as you did with this show.

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