Raw Is a Return 1-2-2012
By JustinRuff · · 3 CommentsWell, tonight’s Raw has been built around a return. There are rumors that Chris Jericho has been spotted at the Memphis airport. So have Undertaker and Michelle McCool. Rumors are flying around about Brock Lesnar. I think everybody has been spotted except Chyna. So tonight begins Raw.
We start if off with a video package. And then John Cena starts off Raw. Any buzz I had for Raw was killed the moment Cena’s music hit. My daughter was still up and the minute she saw John Cena, she reached for the remote. I cannot make this up. So John Cena cut an ok promo on how fans can chant whatever they want. He’s going to keep on being John Cena. Then Kane does the same s*** he always does and we get pyro.
Daniel Bryan is introduced and the crowd doesn’t even come close to reacting for him. This was a pretty decent match. We got to watch Cody show off his skills as a mat technician. Bryan did get some chants. But would he have without Cody? It was a really short good match. Bryan won and then went over and celebrated with the crowd. The only thing is that it was kind of really excessive.
Johnny Ace recapped all the stuff with Miz. We get Miz and Sheamus. And then he called Miz a lame duck. Then they showed Miz walking away throwing a temper tantrum. And then R-Truth mocked a duck. Congratulations, WWE. You just killed R-Truth.
They showed recaps of all the Wade Barrett stuff. And he was interrupted by Santino Marella of all people. Sure enough, Wade killed him. The best part was the Speed references. R-Truth is now stalking the Miz.
Miz came out full of fire. And then Sheamus beat the sternum off of Miz. Miz tried running away. Then R-Truth was out in the crowd. R-Truth’s voices are now Little Jimmies. And then he beat up Miz with the Water Bottle of Doom. I feel really bad for Miz having to sell that. Then R-Truth found a kid and had him say something. I liked the segment. I just want to see more from what R-Truth is given to say.
Dolph Ziggler cuts a nice short promo.
Zack Ryder is trying to flirt with Eve Torres. Then Jack Swagger tries to talk trash. Ryder sounded sooooooo stupid. Then Johnny Ace makes a 6-man tag. So now Punk isn’t even going to be the main event? WWE, listen to what I say very closely. F*** you.
I really liked the feel of the Punk/Ziggler match. It felt exactly like a main event should be. Too bad it wasn’t one. It was a good match with lots of near-falls. Johnny Ace interfered and there was a countout. Ziggler won and then ran away with the belt. He didn’t win the belt.
The Bellas came out looking really smoking hot. We then got Kelly and Eve vs. Bellas. The Bellas won. It was pretty decent for usual divas matches.
Punk delivered a promo where he was going to beat Johnny Ace “like a bitch.” Ooh, they said the word “bitch.” Let me know when Punk drops a pipebomb.
Then they revealed the return of Chris Jericho. It was a pretty awesome moment. He looked genuinely happy and enthusiastic to be out there. It was the kind of reaction Hogan thinks he gets. He played with the crowd for a little bit and then went to the back.
The main event was such a non-event. At least Cena and Ryder had the advantage. The only good part was Kane attacking Ryder afterwards and then laying out Cena and Ryder some more. Kane was about to suck Ryder into the abyss when Cena pulled him out at the end. Cheesy, but it IS a TVPG product.
This was a pretty decent Raw. I’m close to calling it good, but we’re not quite there. I had things I liked: Ziggler’s promo, Bryan-Rhodes and Miz. There were some things I didn’t like: Cena in the main event, the Ziggler-Punk finish (not because of the countout but because Ziggler acted like he had won the belt) and opening it with a video package.
There were some nice questions to be asked here and all of them are WTF’s revolving around Jericho. And that is as it should be. Now we have a reason to come back.
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3 Comments
_G_
Jericho's return was a thing of genius. Not the vignettes. The actual appearance. He intentionally started slow with his entrance, and it seemed like the usual returning wrestler pop… then he made it lame…. then pretentious. He just kept going with all the cards in the deck until he left. Near the end some boos were heard. Why? Because he parodied his two returns in one shtick, and with a purpose made it sleazier and more manipulative with each second that passed. Fucking brilliant. Dare I say heeltastic?
Drowgoddess
You certainly should! I've read so many negative comments about Jericho's return, and I honestly fail to see how it could be viewed as anything other than total genius. So many people expected the final payoff right then, and they're actually angry that they didn't get it. Instant gratification is not always the way to go. This way is so much better. There's still so much to find out, and the number of people who will watch the next show just to find out if he's going to say anything or explain the situation has to be huge. Chris Jericho is "The Continental" of WWE. Those skits started off kind of funny, then dragged on until they got pathetically bad, then continued on until they were really funny. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I may a tiny minority, but I really liked what they did with Kane. Kane and Taker are the only ones who can even attempt the supernatural stuff, and there is a time and place for that sort of thing. How is the fire shooting up from under the ring legal and following code at all? I have a little bit of knowledge of matters pyro, as I have crossed paths with a few licensed pyrotechs in a theatrical capacity, but I don't know enough to understand how that last bit could possibly have been cleared as safe. Does anyone have any input on that?
ThinkSoJoE
I HATED it. I was sitting on my couch chanting "Boring." I think I was more pissed off about the fact that it actually WAS Jericho than anything he did. I was hoping for WWE to swerve everybody. I didn't want the predictable outcome. Speaking of, the fire from under the ring thing has been done before. I saw it coming as soon as he came up from under the ring. I may have to buy "jadedwrestlingfan.com" because I think that's what this past Monday's RAW has made me into.