RAW was Yesterday – 9/1/08By thinksojoe · · Leave a Comment
Championship Scramble Battle Royals and the contract signing between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho highlight RAW, emanating live taped Sunday night from St. Louis, MO, the hometown of former WWE Champion Randy Orton. Will the Legend Killer make an appearance?
RAW results and details, after the jump!
Tonight’s episode is in memory of Walter “Killer” Kowalski. Instead of the show opening though, we cut straight from the Kowalski bumper to a commercial break.
Randy Orton kicks off the show, after the apparently unintentional break. He says that when he was champion, RAW was the strongest brand in the WWE, but now it’s an absolute joke. The Women’s Champion, Beth Phoenix? She runs around like a lovesick teenager. This isn’t 90210, this is Monday Night RAW, and you’re embarassing yourself. Who is she supposed to be in love with? The weakest Intercontinental Champion in the history of the WWE, Santino Marella. Orton says he can beat Santino, even with a broken Clavicle. At least Santino has a title – Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, they’re not priceless, they’re worthless. If somebody stole his title when he was champion, he’d beat them down and take back what is his. That’s not the problem, though. The problem is we’ve got a guy disgracing the World Heavyweight Championship. His name, is CM Punk. When Orton won his first World Title, Punk was wrestling in a no name organization. He was just a punk, until he won Money in the Bank, and got a lucky title win. Orton is offended that Punk can call himself “Champion.” Orton would love to challenge Punk tonight and take his title back, but unfortunately, he’s not medically cleared. When he is – and it won’t be long, he will challenge him, and he’ll reclaim this show and make everybody forget about the sorry history of RAW known as CM Punk.
Speaking of Punk…
What Punk’s got is a headache from listening to Orton talk. He doesn’t live in the past. He doesn’t have granddaddy and daddy behind him to usher him into the WWE; he had to work hard to get there. The fact is, he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and he doesn’t take joyrides on his motorcycle at 3AM and get re-injured. Randy went from “The Age Of Orton,” to an afterthought. Punk says if he was Orton, he’d be jealous too. Orton denys it, but Punk says he’s in denial. Punk’s got a battle royal tonightl, and a Scramble at Unforgiven. He wants Orton to come to him and say everything he just said when those matches are over. There’s only one person in the ring that’s pathetic, and it’s not Punk. Orton says the conversation will continue at a later time, and exits the ring. Punk says he wants Orton to know that he’s going to do everything he can to hold on to the title, and Orton will see that…
DING DING DING DING… MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
JBL comes out and interrupts the Champ. There are some pro-JBL signs in the audience as JBL tells Punk that fairy tales aren’t real, and in six days, it’s going to strike midnight, Cinderella, and his fluke of a title run? BALLGAME! Over. Punk’s got an 80% chance of losing that title at Unforgiven, but JBL thinks the odds are higher, because of the Clothesline from Hell. As much as JBL would love for it to be Punk that he takes out, it doesn’t have to be, it could be Batista, it could be Kane, it could be his old pal, Rey Mysterio…
Kane makes his way to the ring. He walks up to JBL and says that he’s been to hell, and he didn’t see JBL’s Clothesline anywhere. He did see Rey Mysterio, however. Adamle can make all the announcements that he wants, but Rey won’t be there on Sunday, nor will he be here tonight, because Kane made sure of it. Which means, there is one less person in the Scramble match, which means that Kane is one step closer…
Batista makes his way out to the ring and snatches JBL’s microphone. He says… well, nothing. He spears Kane, followed by a spear for JBL and another one for the World Champion. The Animal walks alone back to the dressing room.
Still to come, a battle royal featuring all five participants in the World Heavyweight Championship Scramble.
The ECW Championship Scramble participants will also be competing in a five man battle royal tonight.
John Cena’s music hits, and out comes… Charlie Haas?!? Haas is dressed as the former WWE Champion, as we’re reminded that he was dressed as Carlito last week. He takes the mic. Cena might be out of action tonight, but that’s alright, because THE HAAS IS HERE! And you can’t see him!
JAMAICAN ME CRAZY, KOFI!
Kofi Kingston def. Charlie “John Cena” Haas
Haas takes the early advantage, but Kingston blocks a Five Knuckle Shuffle attempt and takes control for a moment. Haas goes for the FU, but gets rolled up and into the ropes, and then gets hit with Trouble In Paradise, and Kofi Kingston picks up the victory.
Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase are complaining to the Legend Killer about what he had to say earlier. Orton reminds Rhodes that he slapped his father – by slapping him. He says that they’re the most talented people in the locker room, and yet they get beat by Cena in a two on one match and then get their titles stolen by a couple of thugs? He’s going to stand by his statement until he gets it back.
Teddy Long and Tiffany are having a discussion about having a Labor Day tradition of having the ECW superstars on RAW. Kind of like the Jerry Lewis telethon without the sick kids. As T-Lo looks confused as to why Adamle would say something as stupid as that, Kane bursts in. He wants to know why Adamle lied to everybody and said that Rey Mysterio was coming back. Adamle says he’s hoping that it sent a message to Rey that RAW wants him to come back. Kane tells him that Mysterio’s been massacred, but by all means, keep hoping.
The ECW Championship Scramble participants make their way to the ring. They’re in a battle royal, NEXT!
Mark Henry def. Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Finlay, and The Miz in a 5-man Battle Royal.
Bam Neely is dressed to compete, for some reason. Anyway, all four challengers attack the World’s Strongest Champion. Miz and Matt Hardy drop him with a double DDT before Chavo gets slammed onto him by Finlay. Miz tries to eliminate Finlay, but Finlay lands on the apron and Miz turns around into a Matt Hardy Side Effect. Matt tries to eliminate Miz, but Miz lands on the apron. Chavo tries to eliminate Miz, but both of them wind up eliminated by Mark Henry. Henry takes complete control of the match, decimating Finlay in the corner before turning his attention to Matt Hardy, who fights back. Finlay and Hardy work together to try and eliminate the Champion, but he battles back, and eliminates Finlay. Hardy assualts Henry, but when he goes for the Twist of Fate, Henry lifts him up and over the top rope, and heaves him to the floor for the victory. It’s pointed out that Mark Henry eliminated all four competitors in the match.
Still to come, the RAW Championship Scramble participants are having their own little battle royal. Will Rey Mysterio be here? We’ll find out!
Chris Jericho is backstage reviewing legal papers for his match with HBK at Unforgiven.
Meanwhile, Jamie Noble is in the ring, with Layla sitting in a chair at ringside. He asked her to come to the ring so he can prove to her that Jamie Noble has what it takes. She needs to just sit there and….
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Willliam Regal makes his way to the ring, and we’ve got ourselves a match.
Jamie Noble def. William Regal
Regal kicks things off on aggressive offense. He hooks in a full nelson, but Noble breaks it by stomping at Regal’s shins. He can’t capitalize though, and Regal stays on the offense as Layla tries not to laugh at Noble on the outside. Regal is dominating this match, tossing Noble around like a rag doll – but Noble surprises the 2008 King of the Ring with a rollup for a victory!
After the match, he goes and talks to Layla, who looks sort of impressed!
Backstage, Mickie James and Kelly Kelly are getting ready for their match. It’s six diva tag team action, NEXT!
We come back to Jillian Hall, who is ready to perform for St. Louis. She performs Nelly’s “Hot in Herre.” No, none of the Diva’s took off their clothes. The King says that Nelly’s probably turning over in his grave right now. Cole reminds him that Nelly’s not dead. King says that Jillian’s performance probably killed her. We’ve got Beth Phoenix, Jillian, and Katie Lea on one side, taking on Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, and… um… where’s their partner?
Beth says she wants Randy Orton to take a good look at this match, because she’s the most talented and beautiful Diva who ever set foot in the ring. Nobody can match her power, and nobody can match her incredible….
(Crappy disco remake of Candice’s old theme)
CANDICE MICHELLE IS BACK!
Candice Michelle, Mickie James, & Kelly Kelly def. Beth Phoenix, Katie Lea Burchill, & Jillian Hall
The faces get off to a good start, beating down Katie Lea. Katie gets Mickie down in the her corner though and makes the tag to Jillian. Mickie tries a headscizzors, but Beth grabs her by the hair and slams her to the canvas. Beth gets the tag in, and starts to beat down Mickie James. She cuts Mickie off from her half of the ring, and the heels start to utilize quick tags. Mickie finally manages to battle back, taking down Jillian with a neckbreaker. Beth gets the tag in from Jillian, and then Candice gets the tag in from Mickie. Candice hits a horrible looking move to take down the Glamazon, then knocks Beth’s partners off the apron. She climbs to the top and hits a cross body, but Beth rolls through, picks up Candice, but Candice manages to struggle out and roll up the Women’s Champion for the victory.
We get a recap of the feud between HBK and Chris Jericho. Again.
Those two will be signing a contract later on tonight.
Still to come: World Heavyweight Championship Scramble participants in a battle royal. Will Mysterio be there?
Santino hopes Orton is satisfied, he insulted Glamarella – and Santino is going to prove Orton wrong. He’s going to be the greatest IC Champion of all time. Santino gives us the Honk-a-meter. Honkey Tonk Man was champion for 64 weeks, Santino’s already been champion for two weeks. That means he’s only got 62 weeks to go! Now bring on his opponent.
Santino Marella def. D’Lo Brown
This match goes back and forth early, but D’Lo takes over. He hits a Shining Wizard, which was apparently taught to him by The Great Muta during his time in Japan. D’Lo goes for the Lo-Down, but Santino moves, sending D’Lo crashing and burning to the canvas. Santino makes a quick cover and gets the victory.
Santino says he’ll be number one, because he’s Italian. He also says he hates D’Lo.
Shawn Michaels is staring blankly into space as a guy in a suit reads him the contract.
WWE 24/7 Classics on Demand – 9/22/97: RAW airs live from MSG for the first time ever. Steve Austin stuns everybody in sight, followed by a stunner on Vince McMahon for the first time.
The Miz and John Morrison are in the ring, ready for tag team action. If you missed it, check out The Dirt Sheet, featuring Miz and Morrison’s rap video. Their opponents are Cryme Tyme. Miz and Morrison confront Shad and JTG on their way to the ring, and a brawl starts – but ends just as quickly when Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase attack Cryme Tyme. Cody DDTs JTG on one of the tag team title belts, and reclaim their gold.
Backstage, the World Tag Team Champions run into Randy Orton again, and show off their titles. They walk by without saying a word, but it brings a smile to The Legend Killer’s face.
Josh Matthews is back from the dead, and he’s at the Republican National Convention with Mr. Kennedy and Mickie James. I could easily comment on the Republicans at the moment, but I won’t, this isn’t the place. If you’re not registered to vote, hit up smackdownyourvote.com.
Tod Grisham is back from ECW, and he’s backstage at RAW with Dave Batista. Batistas game plan tonight? “Destroy everyone.”
We get a rundown of the Unforvgiven card.
Kane def. Batista, JBL, and CM Punk in a World Heavyweight Championship Scramble Preview Battle Royal
Randy Orton has a seat ringside for this one. As we start, there are only four of the five men in the ring. Rey Mysterio is not there, still leaving us to wonder if he’s alive, or if he’s dead. Or something like that. Batista dominates early, taking down all three of his other opponents. A spear for JBL, and a Spinebuster for Punk. Kane boots Batista in the face, and Punk clotheslines Batista over the top rope and to the floor. JBL takes over for a moment, but is backdropped over the top rope and to the floor by CM Punk. We’re down to Punk and Kane. Punk uses his quick strikes to back Kane into the corner, but Kane strikes back. The Big Red Monster takes over control of this battle royal. He tries to eliminate Punk but Punk battles back. He hits two knees to Kane’s face in the corner, but Kane won’t let him pull off the bulldog. Punk goes for the GTS but Kane battles out. He tosses Punk onto the apron. Punk tries to springboard back in but is caught in midair by Kane, who shoves Punk out by the throat to the feet of Randy Orton to pick up the victory. Orton and Punk have a staredown before Punk hits Orton with a water bottle….
Rey Mysterio is on his way to the ring! He rushes into the ring and uses his quickness to take Kane down. He dropkicks Kane’s knee, putting him in prime position for a 619, but Kane escaped. didn’t matter much, because Mysterio dropkicked him through the ropes. Kane caught Mysterio going for a hurricanrana, but Mysterio battles out, sending Kane into the ringpost, followed by a 619 around the ringpost! Kane goozles Mysterio, and goes for a chokeslam, but Mysterio battles out again, and takes Kane down one more time, sending the Big Red Machine retreating, and the masked man from the 619 standing in the ring.
Up next, HBK and Chris Jericho sign a contract.
Jerry Lawler is in the ring, and apparently presiding over this contract signing. Chris Jericho makes his way out first. The King explains that Mike Adamle asked him to moderate the contract signing for this unsanctioned match. He explains that the reason this match is unsanctioned is to absolve all legal repercussions from Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho, as well as the WWE. HBK makes his way out and this shindig can start. Adamle has said that if there is any physicality between HBK and Jericho tonight, the match is off. Jericho signs the contract. HBK follows suit. Once the contract is signed, The King thanks both men for being civil. Jericho tells him to shut his yap, and asks HBK why there’s all the security. Michaels replies that it’s not his security. Jericho asks if he wants the security to leave. HBK agrees, and Jericho asks the security personnel to leave. They oblige. Jericho tells Shawn that he followed his advice. He went home and sat down with his wife and kids, and told them he’d never be a lying, manipulative egomaniac like Shawn Michaels. Then he forbade them from watching Unforgiven because he doesn’t want them to see the brutality he’s capable of. If HBK thinks Jericho is going to go easy on him, he’s wrong. He’s going to end HBK’s career for good this time. He’s going to show the people what happens when they live their lives like Shawn Michaels. He says that he’s going to put HBK out of his misery, but unlike when HBK retired Ric Flair, he’s not going to say he’s sorry. He’s going to finish HBK off for good at Unforgiven, and Jericho wants him to remember that he asked for the match, so when it’s over with, he wants Shawn to remember that the only person to blame is himself. HBK says he takes comfort in the fact that Jericho’s wife and children won’t be watching – his won’t either. Someday he’s going to tell them of the day when their father was this close to walking away. Although it’s considered a strength to turn the other cheek, you have to look evil in the face and spit in it’s eye. All the pain and suffering HBK’s gone through is going to rain down on Jericho at Unforgiven with no remorse. Shawn will never apologize for the life he has lived or the man that he is, and he’ll have no regrets as to what happens to Jericho at Unforgiven. Unforgiven is appropriate, because Shawn will never forgive Jericho for what he’s done. His only hope is that God can forgive him for what he does to Jericho. Both men stand up, Shawn takes off his jacket. HBK catches an attacking Lance Cade with a right hand and starts wailing away at him, then attempts to dive after Jericho. Shawn gets back in the ring and continues to beat up on Cade. The show ends with Jericho and Michaels staring each other down from across the arena.
It’s great to see Orton back on tv. Hopefully they won’t keep up the charade of him still being hurt for too much longer because the WWE seriously needs him right now. JBL and Kane as top heels works, but CM Punk has beaten both of them, and assuming he keeps the title after Unforgiven, other than Chris Jericho, Randy Orton is the only heel big enough to give the next title shot to on RAW.
In the spoilers for last night’s RAW, rumor was that Candice Michelle was terrible in her first match back. I saw one bad spot once Candice was tagged in, but I also saw some quick camera cuts that could theoretically have been used to cover up some botched moves. If that match were actually aired live, it probably would’ve looked a lot worse than it did.
Speaking of botched moves, HBK injured his shoulder diving out at Jericho in the closing minutes of RAW. Last I heard, Michaels is still planning on competing this Sunday at Unforgiven, but expect him to be out for a good while after that. WWE.com is in fact reporting that Shawn has injured his left tricep, and is still planning on going through with his match. He’s scheduled to undergo a medical evaluation today, so we’ll see what the prognosis is later on.
I thought the show was pretty good, though I’m so glad this program with HBK and Jericho is finally running it’s course. I took the video package that aired detailing their feud as an opportunity to clean my cats’ litter box. That’s how sick I am of seeing it. I’m looking forward to Unforgiven this Sunday. I’m not planning on reviewing the show live or anything, but never say never.
Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed today and never miss another!