Greetings, all! Your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess will now be providing you with reviews of the only hour of professional wrestling on Monday nights, Ring of Honor on HDNet!

TNA coverage will be provided, for the foreseeable future, by Gee-Money himself, complete with the awesome gifs of dubious appropriateness that we have all come to know and love, and “Smackdown” coverage will be provided by a very special someone. Just wait, it’s worth it. What’s up in ROH-land? So very glad you asked!

We open with the perpetually-nervous Kyle Durden interviewing the notorious 187, Homicide. Cide has a “Butcher’s Rules” match against the Necrobutcher later tonight. What does that mean?What are “Butcher’s Rules?” Homicide doesn’t care. He doesn’t like Necro, his family, or his crew. This isn’t the old days of Colon and Abdullah, this is now. Necro had better praise the Lord with his family because “you ain’t comin’ home at all! You’re a dead man!” Somehow, when a guy called Homicide threatens to end your life, I’m inclined to believe him. I still don’t LIKE those sorts of things being said in wrestling, but it suits these two.

Steve Corino is in the ring. He talks about the approaching “Final Battle 2010” pay-per-view, as well as the fact that his best friend, Kevin Steen, has gone completely crazy. Steen faces El Generico in a “career vs. mask” match at the ppv, and Corino doesn’t want to see that. Generico was a nothing. Steen should be ROH World Champion right now, but he’s been stuck with “that masked retard” for way too long. Even Corino can’t handle Steen like this anymore. As a man and a coworker, he calls Generico to the ring to make a request. El Generico complies, wearing all black and a plain black mask. Corino blames Generico for driving Steen crazy, because Steen was forced to carry Generico for six years. Corino asks Generico not to go through with the “career vs. mask” against Steen. Is it worth losing his mask? Is it worth the pain that Steen will inflict? The fans don’t matter. Corino orders Generico to hand over his mask, and not have the match. Without his mask, Generico will leave ROH. ROH needs Steen more than Generico, and there isn’t room for the both of them. Just hand over the mask, walk away, and things will be done between them. They may all even be friends later. Generico starts to pull off his mask, but stops and pulls off his own shirt instead, ready to fight. The match between Corino and Generico is scheduled for tonight. Corino insists that no one wants to see them fight, as Corino is a legend, and will undoubtedly win. Corino demands the mask one last time. Generico slaps Corino. Corino pounds the microphone into Generico’s head. Corino takes advantage, dragging Generico around the ringside area and slamming his head into the barricade. Corino rolls Generico back into the ring, and the match officially begins.

Steve Corino vs. El Generico: In about four seconds, Generico rolls up Corino and gets the pin. Corino is furious, and clotheslines Generico in the back of the head before beating him down post-match. Generico recovers enough to drill Corino with TWO stiff running Yakuza kicks and a center-ring brainbuster. Generico talks smack over a prone Corino before leaving the ring.

Winner: El Generico

A video package airs detailing the feud between the Briscoes (Jay and Mark) and the Kings of Wrestling (Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli). The ppv match at “Final Battle” will be the Briscoes and their father against the Kings of Wrestling and Shane Hagadorn. Papa Briscoe is definitely the scarier third man. One of the Briscoes shouts over the mic that Papa Briscoe “has been whippin’ our asses our whole life, so just imagine what he’s gonna do to you!” Nice. The match is non-title, but promises to be extremely intense.

To the ring! Jim Cornette makes the introduction for ROH’s newest signee, “the Prodigy” Mike Bennett. The dictionary definition of “prodigy” appears on the tv screen. Mike Bennett, in full suit and shades, walks to the ring with a trainer a la the first “Rocky” movie. The trainer is named Bob Evans. Bennett reminds me of Roderick Strong. Cornette asks what influenced Bennett’s decision to sign with ROH. Bennett credits Trainer “Brutal” Bob for the decision, saying that Bob told him that ROH was full of “tomatoes.” Bennett goes on to say that he’ll plow through the roster and rack up the wins. He promises a World title victory within 12 months. Bennett claims more natural talent than the Rock ever had, and that he’ll be running ROH in 2011. He’ll break the entire roster and leave them screaming for their mommies. The fans don’t take well to this. A straightforward introduction of a new heel that left the right impression on the audience.

To the backstage video clip! Kyle Durden (I always want to type “Tyler Durden” instead.) interviews Daizee Haze. Haze just wrestled Sara Del Rey to a ten-minute time limit draw, and isn’t happy about the non-finish. Del Rey interrupts the interview, claiming that she needs real competition and that Haze isn’t it. Haze protests. Both women shout over each other about bringing friends. At “Final Battle,” Del Rey and a tag team partner of her choice face Haze and a tag team partner of her choice. Who will the mystery tag team partners be? I’d love to see Amazing Kong, Serena Deeb, Hamada, or MsChif. I’m biased, though.

John Davis (of the Dark City Fight Club) vs. Rhett Titus (of the All-Night Express): I’ve never cared for the Dark City Fight Club. They don’t do much for me, aside from being two big-by-indy-standards black guys who do power moves. Rhett Titus is always fun to watch, though. Chants of “Hepa-Titus!” start immediately. Davis goes for the power game right away, but Titus counters with actual wrestling and gets the upper hand. Davis shoves Titus. Titus slaps Davis. Davis attacks Titus. Davis hits a power slam, but Titus kicks out at two. Titus lands a lovely dropkick. A very back-and-forth match ensues, with much being made of Titus’s focus on matches instead of on women. Titus pulls down the top rope as Davis flies over it, but Davis catches himself and jumps back into the ring with a shoulder tackle. Davis hits a spinebuster on Titus, but only scores a two-count. Titus lands a stiff knee to Davis’s temple with what the announcers call a new finishing move, and scores the pin.

Winner: “Addicted to Love” Rhett Titus

The “Final Battle” card is shown.

To the interview video package! World Heavyweight Champion Davey Richards talks about his upcoming title match against Roderick Strong. Richards is fantastic here, so natural, intense, and unaffected.

To the back! Kyle Durden interviews Television Champion Eddie Edwards. Edwards blames himself for not listening to Richards about what a leech Shane Hagadorn really was. Edwards talks up a very personal rivalry between the American Wolves and the Kings of Wrestling. Will those teams have a match? It can’t be at “Final Battle,” as the Kings are already booked. I’m confused. Edwards defends his Television title against Colt Cabana next week. Nice!

Grizzly Redwood & Mike Sydal vs. Adam Cole & Kyle O’Reilly: I do not know Cole and O’Reilly, so this will be the first match I’ve seen of theirs. Mike Sydal is, as many of you know, the younger brother of Evan Bourne, and his style is similar. He also has an odd configuration of stars tattooed down the entire left side of his back. The stars aren’t odd, just the placement. A fast-paced, very athletic match. Lots of strikes, kicks, working the legs, counters, and high-risk moves, like a top rope moonsault to the floor. These teams are quite evenly matched. Kyle O’Reilly is a protege of Davey Richards, and has trained with him for the past year and a half. Anyone familiar with Richards’s style can absolutely see it in O’Reilly. Insane corner moment where O’Reilly drags Sydal to the corner, tags in Cole, they twist Sydal’s leg behind his own head, hang him in the Tree of Woe, and land double drop kicks on him. Grilled cheesus! Cole pins Sydal, but Sydal kicks out at two. Cole places Sydal on the top rope, but Sydal fights out. Cole refuses to release Sydal, and plants him with a bridging suplex. Cole makes the cover, but Sydal still kicks out at two. O’Reilly tags in, and they isolate Sydal. Sydal tags in Redwood, and the action picks up even more. THIS is how you take a small comedy character and still let him look good in the ring. The ending of this match is just too fast to follow, and well worth watching. Cole pins Sydal after O’Reilly and Cole hit a wicked-looking combination that doesn’t yet have a name. This was a really good match, and I officially like all of these guys.

Winners: Adam Cole & Kyle O’Reilly

Homicide vs. the Necrobutcher (Butcher’s Rules match): This basically means that anything goes. I still love the entrance and music of the Embassy. It’s so pompous, and it always makes me smile. I miss Jimmy Rave as the “Crown Jewel of the Embassy.” Necro enters first, and pulls out tools, tables, and other assorted implements of destruction. Homicide enters next. Necro grabs a chair, and refuses to allow Cide to enter the ring. Prince Nana and Mr. Ernesto Osiris hop up on the ring apron as well. Cide paces on the floor, grabbing his own chair. The audience is totally behind Cide and the chanting gets very loud. Only in pro wrestling will you hear massive crowd chants of “Homicide! Homicide!” and it’s a good thing! I love this stuff. Chair swordfight to start! Necro wins. Cide takes advantage on the floor, and slams Necro’s head into the barricade repeatedly. Cide holds up a chair and slams it into the barricade, making a sandwich out of Necro’s head. He then chases off Prince Nana, and even turns on the referee when he tries to restore some order. Necro’s head is busted open. Cide throws a ladder at Necro from inside the ring. They brawl on the floor. With maniacal glee, Cide rips the metal barricade from the railing and hits Necro with it. They brawl on the floor. Back in the ring, no good can come from the big pile of steel folding chairs. Necro and Cide take turns attempting to put each other through a table set up in one corner, but counters follow counters. Cide solves this dilemma by mule-kicking Necro in the groin, then suplexing him through the table. Ouch. Cide sets up an extremely bloodied Necro for the Cop Killer (it’s called that again?), but Mr. Ernesto Osiris rushes the ring and makes the save. Kind of. Not for himself. Cide drills Osiris with the Cop Killer. It’s fast, it’s brutal, and it’s a thing of beauty. It’s a shame that the Gringo Killer never looked this sharp.  Necro recovers enough to throw a chair at Cide that hits him in the groin and drops him. Necro then proceeds to set up several chairs. Necro drops Cide back-first across the thin edges of the tops of two steel chairs. GOOD LORD!!! Necro follows this crime against chiropractice by picking up Cide for a body slam, holding a folded chair against Cide’s back, and slamming him down on the mat against it. Jeebus! Necro picks up another chair and tries to hit Cide in the head with it. Cide catches the chair and they grapple over it. Cide kicks Necro in the groin (again), takes control of the chair, and throws it at Necro’s head. Cide places a chair over the prone Necro’s head and grabs a second one. Cide tries to hit the chair over Necro’s head with a chair, but Prince Nana grabs it and stops him. Cide punches Prince Nana. The distraction is just enough for Necro to kick Cide in the gut and powerbomb him onto the pile of chairs. I can’t describe just how nasty this looked, as Cide came down almost on his neck. Necro makes the cover. Cide kicks out at 2 and 7/8, and everyone goes crazy. THAT was a nearfall! Necro sets up two chairs in the middle of the ring again and drags a nearly lifeless Cide to his feet in the corner. Necro makes the Embassy sign and gestures that he’s going to finish this. Necro picks up Cide to repeat the dropping back-first onthe chairs. Cide knees and kicks Necro in the face. Cide grabs Necro’s head and hits an Ace Crusher across the tops of the chairs. Cide follows up with a second Ace Crusher to the mat. Cide covers Necro and scores the three-count. Wow! I’m not a fan of hardcore matches, but this was breathtaking. Watch it if you can, it’s absolutely worth it! Cide mockingly makes the Embassy gesture as he exits up the ramp.

Winner: Homicide

The last time that I tried to do ROH reviews for this site, I failed in making it a permanent feature. Hopefully, the second time will prove the charm, and those of you without HDNet can keep up with some pretty fantastic wrestling. Come back and join us for reviews of TNA “Impact,” “Smackdown,” and whatever else our merry band of miscreants can devise.

Peace out,


1 Comment

  1. I sincerely wish I could receive this channel…. because this "hour" seems to include a lot of good matches. Also, new talent is introduced. I guess it's off to Youtube for me… also:

    I can promise that I will be in usual form: tired, hazy, and inanely crazy for TNA.

    I love the rundown on the Generico mask ordeal. Ha ha! There's some subversive undertones of parody there, yar! The gents on the LAW podcast made a funny referring to Mysterio being worried that Juan Cena's mask would detract from Rey's merch. In modern WWE, there would be no Killer Bees. Not just because tag-team wrestling is dead in the "E," no. It would just be one Bee. And the ref distraction mix up heel move would never work…

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