Hey folks, ThinkSoJoE here, fresh off of watching the Rumble at my buddy Steve’s house.  We played a little bit of a game – we all tossed in two bucks and picked five numbers.  Whoever had the number of the guy that won won all the money.  That wasn’t me.  Anyhow, we’ve got a lot of Rumbleage to cover, so let’s get to it!

ECW Championship:  Christian def. Ezekiel Jackson to retain

Jackson is a big guy, and that made it difficult for the champion to lock in the Killswitch.  Eventually, he reversed Jackson’s attempt to ram him into the turnbuckle into an out of nowhere Killswitch for the victory.

Backstage, Teddy Long congratulates Tiffany on a great ECW match, when Cryme Tyme come in to complain that only one of them is allowed in the Rumble.  They tell Long that The Great Khali agreed to let one of them take his spot.  Ranjin Singh interrupts and tells us that Khali says no, in some hip-hop way or another.  He then says that Khali learned all of his slang from Family Matters, to which Khali says “Did I Do That?”  Khali and Cryme Tyme belt out that Pants on the Ground song when The Miz enters to talk about how he’ll win the Royal Rumble.  Long tells him that he’s got to defend the United States Championship against MVP and that the match is next.

Cody Rhodes finds Randy Orton backstage and tells him that Ted DiBiase has been talking about how he’s going to win the Rumble and beat Orton for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.  He then tells Orton that he can count on him during his match with Sheamus later.

WWE United States Championship:  The Miz def. MVP to retain

“Ballin'” is officially played out – there was nothing but hate directed at MVP during this one from the people I was watching it with.  After several near falls by MVP, The Miz gets a rollup and a victory.

After the match, The Miz gloats about his victory and MVP nails him with a Playmaker.

Big Show is walking down the hall when he meets up with Chris Jericho.  Show says that Jericho is jealous about his partnership with The Miz.  Jericho says he knows that if it comes down to the three of them, Show will show where his loyalty lies.  Show says if that happens, he’ll eliminate both of them.  R-Truth says that if Show doesn’t eliminate Jericho, he will.  Jericho says Big Show has his back.  Show is nowhere to be found.

Backstage, Ted DiBiase tells Randy Orton that Cody Rhodes has been talking about how he’s going to win the Royal Rumble and go on to beat Sheamus for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.  Orton says he doesn’t want Legacy’s help tonight.

WWE Championship: Sheamus def. Randy Orton via disqualification to retain

In a great battle, Randy Orton had things in hand.  He knocked Sheamus to the outside, where Cody Rhodes attacked him.  The referee argued with Rhodes, and Orton hit an RKO.  He went for the cover, but instead of counting, the referee called for the bell – Orton had been disqualified.

After the match, Orton went off on Rhodes, assaulting him.  Ted DiBiase came to the ring to break up the fray, but got decked himself.  Sheamus ended the chaos with a Pump Kick on Orton.

Michelle McCool made her way to the ring, and said that Piggy James wasn’t here tonight.  Layla came to the ring in her fat suit from this past Friday night, but before she could even get into the ring, the real Mickie James came to the ring and took her out.

WWE Women’s Championship:  Mickie James def. Michelle McCool to become the new champion

After dispatching of Layla, Mickie hit the ring and nailed McCool with a MickieDT for the lightning fast victory.

After the match, several face Divas came to the ring with a cake – and they smashed it onto McCool and Layla.

World Heavyweight Championship:  The Undertaker def. Rey Mysterio to retain

The Undertaker may have broken his nose in this match, as blood was pouring out of it throughout the match.  Mysterio held his own with the Phenom, but after hitting two 619s, Mysterio was caught out of a West Coast Pop and dropped with the Last Ride, allowing The Undertaker to pick up the victory.

Shawn Michaels watched this match on a monitor in the back.  Kane comes in and tells him that his obsession with The Undertaker isn’t healthy, and that he won’t be facing ‘Taker at WrestleMania.  Triple H comes in as Kane leaves and wishes Shawn luck tonight.  Shawn says he knows he shouldn’t step on the dream of Triple H to main event WrestleMania, so he’s wishing him luck as well.  Triple H says that HBK/Taker was meant to happen, and he’s sure Shawn will find some other way to get it.

30 Man Royal Rumble match

Alright, here goes.

Entrant #1:  Dolph Ziggler
Entrant #2:  Evan Bourne

Bourne and Ziggler go at it, with Bourne avoiding the ZigZag and hitting the AirBourne just as the clock ticks down.

Entrant #3:  CM Punk

Punk quickly eliminates both Ziggler and Bourne, then cuts a promo about how we’ll all witness him becoming the first ever Straight Edge Royal Rumble winner.

Entrant #4:  JTG

Punk wastes no time eliminating JTG and continuing on with his speech.

Entrant #5:  The Great Khali

Punk tries to save Khali.  Khali doesn’t fall for it, but Punk holds his own with the Punjabi Playboy.  Both men are still going at it when the next entrant is called upon…

Entrant #6:  The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix

Phoenix isn’t intimidated.  She rushes into the ring, but The Great Khali picks her up and gently puts her down on the apron, telling her to beat it.  She kisses him and pulls him over the top rope in the process, eliminating him.  She continues on to Punk, going for her own GTS, but Punk reverses it and hits the move on her instead before tossing her out.

Entrant #7:  Zack Ryder

Punk tells Ryder that he can save him for sure.  Then he cracks Ryder in the skull with the microphone and tosses him out.  Punk says he’s better than everybody.  He’s definitely better than whoever’s next…

It’s time to play the game….

Entrant #8:  Triple H

Surprisingly, The Game doesn’t dominate, Punk holds his own.  The two men battle for a while with neither really gaining the upperhand.

Entrant #9:  Drew McIntyre

The Intercontinental Champion takes his time entering the fray, and holds his own with the likes of Triple H and CM Punk, but Punk is eliminated by The Game.

Entrant #10:  Ted DiBiase

The ring is beginning to fill up with the arrival of Ted DiBiase.

Entrant #11:  John Morrison

Things start picking up with the arrival of the Friday Night Delight, who battles mostly with Drew McIntyre

Entrant #12:  Kane

The Big Red Monster enters next but doesn’t make a huge impact.

Entrant #13:  Cody Rhodes

Rhodes gets to the ring just in time to prevent Ted DiBiase from being eliminated by Kane

Entrant #14:  MVP

MVP gets nailed from behind in the aisle by The Miz and doesn’t quite make it to the ring.  The battle wages on.

Entrant #15:  Carlito

Carlito enters the fray and starts dealing out backstabbers to several of the Superstars in the ring.

Entrant #16: The Miz

The Miz enters the ring and goes after Morrison, but MVP comes back.  MVP and The Miz eliminate each other.

Entrant #17:  Matt Hardy

Fatt Lardy hits the ring, but he doesn’t last long as he’s eliminated by Kane.  Triple H takes out the Big Red Machine, but Legacy start to beat down The Cerebral Assassin.

Entrant #18:  Shawn Michaels

HBK takes out Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, and John Morrison.  DX unite to take out Drew McIntyre and are left as the only two men in the ring, albeit briefly.

Entrant #19:  John Cena

Cena enters and holds his own against DX momentarily, but as the duo knock Cena down, HBK hits a surprise Superkick on Triple H, sending him over the top rope and to the floor – HBK just eliminated his partner!

Entrant #20:  Shelton Benjamin

Ain’t no stoppin’ him now – unless you happen to be John Cena, who quickly eliminates Benjamin.

Entrant #21:  Yoshi Tatsu

The Cardiac Kid holds his own against two of WWE’s top Superstars, but Cena clotheslines him – which should have sent him over the top rope, but he botched the spot, requiring Cena to actually toss him over the top rope and out of the match.

Entrant #22:  The Big Show

Big Show isn’t an easy elimination like the last two guys.  He holds his own with Cena and HBK.

Entrant #23:  Mark Henry

Mark Henry and The Big Show go at it for a while, with the occasional attempt to eliminate them by HBK and Cena.

Entrant #24:  Chris Masters

Masters enters and tries to put the Master Lock on Big Show – but Show just tosses him out of the ring and goes back to fighting with Mark Henry

Entrant #25:  R-Truth

Truth comes in and quickly eliminates both The Big Show and Mark Henry by himself!  Then he holds his own with HBK and John Cena.

Entrant # 26:  Jack Swagger

Swagger hits the ring and manages to hang with the likes of Cena, Truth, and Shawn Michaels.

Entrant #27:  Kofi Kingston

Kingston enters and eliminates Jack Swagger and R-Truth.

Entrant #28:  Chris Jericho

Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise on HBK before being tossed by John Cena.

Entrant #29:  EDGE!

Edge hits the ring guns ablaze.  He spears everybody in sight before eliminating Chris Jericho.

Entrant #30:  Batista

The final four are John Cena, Edge, Shawn Michaels, and Batista.  Superkicks for all, save for Edge.  Edge and Michaels end up on the apron, where HBK superkicks Edge back into the ring before being speared off by Batista and eliminated.  HBK goes nuts, tossing one referee aside and superkicking another before finally leaving.  Cena eliminates Batista, and stares him down for a few moments as Edge readied himself, but when the Rated R Superstar went for a Spear, Cena moved.  He attempted to eliminate Edge, but wound up being tossed over the top himself, making Edge the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble!

That’s right folks, Edge is going to WrestleMania!  Will HBK find a way to get his match with The Undertaker?  What of Triple H’s dream of facing the WWE Champion at the biggest event of the year, and how will he react to being eliminated by his own tag team partner?  And what’s to become of Legacy?  We’ll have to stay tuned to find out!

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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