Hey! That’s right, something before RAW?! Yeah.  I decided at the beginning of the Royal Rumble match to do a real quick rundown of the Royal Rumble.  This is not going to be anywhere near as long as the usual RAW Reviews, and it’s not going to be as detailed.  The backstage segments may be out of order, but I barely paid attention to them…

Edge vs Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship

So Edge comes out, we’re reminded that he can’t use the Spear or he loses the Championship, and then Vickie comes out, reminds us, and introduces Dolph.  The match goes on for a while and was a pretty decent match.  I didn’t expect it to be, but it turned out to be.  Vickie got on the apron and slapped Edge, but Kelly Kelly, of all fuckin people, came out and took her out.  Dolph locked in a sleeper, and during Edge’s wild flailing to get out of it, he slapped the ref, and knocked him down.  So, Edge hit a quick Spear when no one was looking (except the whole audience), and then locked in the Killswitch (or the Unprettier) for the win.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.

There’s a small segment backstage with WWE Champion The Miz saying that he’ll win, and Riley backs him up.

The Miz with Alex Riley vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship

Randy gets an early advantage, but Riley interferes and Miz gets it.  Match was pretty decent, with Riley interfering a good amount, and The Miz about to walk out before Randy stopped that idea with a harsh clothesline.  It ended, surprisingly, with Nexus coming out to stand by the ring.  Riley came in to try to get Randy, but was thrown out onto Nexus and the ref, and then Punk came up from underneath the ring and hit the Go To Sleep on Orton, and dragged Miz over for the cover.

WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.

Gail Kim was backstage with Daniel Bryan.  Bellas faked an apology and then attacked.

Natalya vs LayCool in a Two-on-One Handicap Match for the WWE Diva’s Championship

Before the match can get started, the RAW GM says that he’s gotten enough emails about Cole being annoying (“That’s just a joke!”), and won’t get more about LayCool, so this is now a Fatal Four Way.  NO! IT WASN’T AWESOME KONG’S DEBUT, OR EVEN BETH!  IT WAS!!!!!!!

Natalya vs Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Eve Torres for the WWE Diva’s Championship

You read that right.  Anyway, the match was alright, kind of, and then Eve pinned Layla as McCool pinned Natalya.  However, ref was looking at Eve and Layla.

WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.

Michelle was pissed.

Then, the Royal Rumble match (and there was a thing at some point about how “Dashing” Cody Rhodes had an official statement about his not making it, thanks to Rey’s knee brace breaking his face nose.) started.


1) CM Punk

I have to stop here.  Punk came out, and then the Corre’s music hit, and then the Corre surrounded Punk, and then the New Nexus came in and it was a mini-brawl.  Essentially, the RAW GM told them that this was not how the Royal Rumble match was going to start and sent them all (minus Punk) back to the back to wait their turns.

1) CM Punk – John Cena
2) United States Champion Daniel Bryan – David Otunga
3) Justin Gabriel – Daniel Bryan
4) Zack Ryder – Daniel Bryan
5) William Regal – Ted DiBiase
6) Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) – Nexus
7) John Morrison – Nexus
8) Yoshi Tatsu – Mark Henry
9) Husky Harris – The Great Khali
10) Chavo Guerrero – Mark Henry
11) Mark Henry – Nexus
12) JTG – Michael McGuillicutty
13) Michael McGuillicutty – John Cena
14) Chris Masters – Nexus
15) David Otunga – John Cena
16) Tyler Reks – Nexus
17) Vladimir Kozlov – Punk
18) R-Truth – Punk
19) The Great Khali – Mason Ryan
20) Mason Ryan – John Cena
21) Booker T – Mason Ryan
22) John Cena – The Miz
23) Hornswoggle – Sheamus
24) Tyson Kidd – John Cena
25) Heath Slater – John Cena
26) Kofi Kingston – Randy Orton
27) Jack Swagger – Rey Mysterio
28) Sheamus – Randy Orton
29) Rey Mysterio – Wade Barrett
30) Wade Barrett – Randy Orton
31) Dolph Ziggler – The Big Show
32) Diesel – Wade Barrett
33) Drew McIntyre – The Big Show
34) Alex Riley – John Cena
35) The Big Show – Ezekiel Jackson
36) Ezekiel Jackson – Kane
37) Santino Marella – Alberto del Rio
38) Alberto del Rio – WINNER
39) Randy Orton – Alberto del Rio
40) Kane – Rey Mysterio

There were a lot of  hijinks in the ring during the match.  The Miz ran into the ring, after sitting commentary since Alex Riley entered the Rumble, and eliminated Cena after Cena eliminated Riley.  Hornswoggle copied a lot of moves, and a lot of the people lasted longer than they may have seemed to.  It wasn’t a hugely, wildly spectacular match, but it was alright.

See ya tomorrow night for Monday Night RAW!


  1. They went with the obvious so-called tease this year…. and I couldn't be happier, nor think it could of went to better wrestler. Alberto Del Rio! SMILEY FACE!

  2. Excellent! I'm glad that someone had the thought to post something here.

    And Kelly Kelly mattered in all of that situation HOW, exactly? Michael Cole is right, she's a total hypocrite. But I'm heavily biased.

    Anyone else feel like HHH didn't appear purely because every fan with access to the internet presumed that he would, and that Vince and Co. decided to teach us a lesson about spoiling their surprises? Or perhaps I'm more prone to conspiracy theories in my decrepit old age.

    Eve? Really? I hang my head in shame.

    Big Zeke eliminated the Big Show on his own. Nice!

    I may be the only person who could not possibly care less about Booker T and Kevin Nash, and hope that they HAVE signed with WWE. With TNA running out of big name has-beens who made it big in other companies, they may be forced to push their own original talent for a change.

    Del Rio winning rules, but I was sad that Yoshi Tatsu was eliminated so early, and by his own tag team partner, no less. 🙁

    As Aly said, not much of a Rumble match or a show, but passable. This really is the star-making moment for people not already in the main event, and except for Del Rio, it wasn't used that way. Morrison's Spiderman moment was grand.

    • There is one way to save it. Only one way. Act like another run of the MEM was never the plan. Let the new "They" be a sudden and inexplicable alignment of everyone who is not part of Immortal/Fortune, and Angle and Steiner are there only to add to the numbers and provide initial leadership. The people who helped make TNA as a company suddenly put aside their differences and unite against the true bad guys. Yes, it's corny, yes, the MEM/TNA Originals bit failed the last time that they did it, and yes, lots of people would find it ridiculous to cast aside feuds like Samoa Joe/Pope, MCMG/Generation Me, Jay Lethal/Robbie E, and so on. However, if everyone committed fully to the idea, and adequate promo time were given to the face faction, I'm convinced that it's possible. Particularly if AJ turns at the height of all of this, like after Angle gets taken out.

      In a way, the loss of Booker T and Kevin Nash could be a great thing for TNA, as they now have to do a last-second reboot, and they are actually running out of old and busted big names who got famous in other companies to bring in and push. They'll have no choice BUT to use the guys whom they should have used all along. Theoretically, at least. I'm sure TNA will ruin this opportunity as well.

      • Ha ha! I just MAY be onto something! This is from PWInsider:

        "For those of you waiting for the Main Event Mafia tonight, don't hold your breath. I was told this morning that "They" is going in a completely different direction than most people expect and that decision was made several days ago. I was told "When it goes down, people who expected a ton of big names might be surprised, but it's a move that's better for the company overall."

        Sting is not scheduled for the tapings to the best of my knowledge.

        I have also heard whether Ric Flair is used or not on TV this week is up in the air. The TNA crew returned to Orlando yesterday from the UK. "

        • This would be a breath of fresh air if all goes well. The pessimist in me doubts it, yet I will continue to watch. TNA could certainly elevate some people back into the spotlight here like Brutus Magnus and Desmond Wolfe… they have been teased across the internet to be back, this seems like an opportune window to bring them in as a foil to Beer Money. Otherwise, it should have been the MCMG's but with Shelley hurt, London Calling would work well. Sabin can still work into this mad scheme you have, as a foil to Kaz.

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