We open with a video package focusing on the Big Show, and recapping his heel turn and subsequent rampage on RAW and SMACKDOWN, where he put down Brodus Clay, Kofi Kingston and R-Truth, Zack Ryder and Santino.
Our opening segment is Michael Cole interviewing John Cena. Cole blames Cena for shows rampage and intros him.
Cena comes in, seeming quite upbeat in his Green t-shirt and cap. Cole tries to shame Cena into going for cheap jokes instead of supporting Big Show. John argues that beating and getting rid of Johnny Ace would’ve gotten Show his job back. Cole says it’s not all about Cena and Show went with the “sure thing,” signing w/Johnny. Cena says Show wanted “a wallet the side of his ego,” and took the easy way out, and turned his back on everybody. Cole says Cena isn’t “interested” anymore and calls Cena “over-rated.” He hopes Show, for the sake of all of us who had to sit through his matches, puts Cena out of “our collective misery,” and takes him out.
Cue Johnny Ace. Johnny comes out and offers Cena the chance to pick an opponent for tonight. Show isn’t here, and Johnny is retired and off limits. Cena picks Cole, and Johnny rolls out while Cole desperately pleads for Johnny to come back.
Later tonight: Punk vs. Kane, there must be a winner.
DID YOU KNOW? Wrestlemania 28 has outsold the Super Bowl on DVD.
We’re back, and Cole is begging Johnny to reconsider. Johnny says there’s a rumor going around about up-coming evaluations and he’s all about people power, and the people want to see Cena vs. Cole. John sends him back to work, and one more thing…
“Don’t call me Johnny,” – Johnny Laurenitis Laurinitis Ace.
We get another look at World heavyweight champion Sheamus taking David Otunga out with the Brogue Kick on last week’s Smackdown.
Vicki Guerrero comes out with an “EXCUSE ME,” to introduce the man who is “better than each and every one,” of us “at everything” we do, Dolph Ziggler. Sheamus is out next while Cole and King hype the match between Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio at No Way Out.
The bell rings. Ziggler ducks under a charging Sheamus and lays in with kicks and punches. Sheamus fires back with forearm smashes. Ziggler whipped into the corner, Ziggler hits an elbow and takes Sheamus down with a kick to the shin. Ziggler shoots off the ropes, Sheamus catches him and hoists him up on his shoulders, Ziggler slides down behind him and tries for a sunset flip, but Sheamus pulls him up by the head back on his shoulders, and scores a running Samoan Drop for a two count.
Ziggler in the ropes, as Sheamus gouges at his face. Sheamus shoots off the ropes, Ziggler pulls down the top rope, Sheamus over and out to the floor. Sheamus pulls Ziggler out by his heels, pulls him up by the hair, throws him over his shoulder and heads for the corner post. Ziggler slips down behind him and tries to shove him into the post, but Sheamus blocks it and elbows Ziggler back.
Sheamus tries to whip Ziggler into the stairs, but Ziggler meets them feet first and climbs up and over without breaking his momentum. Vicki distracts Sheamus allowing Dolph to climb back in and hit a sliding dropkick. Sheamus is down, and Ziggler plays to the crowd.
We’re back and Ziggler has Sheamus in a chin lock/arm bar combo. Sheamus gets to his feet and hits two head buts but shoos off the ropes into a knee by Ziggler. Ziggler takes Sheamus down in a cross face. We’re shown how, during the commercial, Sheamus missed a charge and went shoulder first into the corner. Ziggler hits an arm breaker and has had control since. Ziggler has the chin lock arm bar combo again but Sheamus gets up and head buts Ziggler backwards. Ziggler goes into the corner with a shoulder-block and Sheamus hits two axe-handle forearms and a power slam for a two count. Ziggler ducks a clothes-line and hits a kick to the mid-section, shin, and jumps on Sheamus with the DDT. Both men down, Ziggler gets a two-count. Ziggler climbs the corner, Sheamus gets two hits, but Ziggler hits a flurry of kicks, punches, and elbows. Ziggler takes Sheamus by the hair and hits a Fame-Asser off the top rope for a two count.
Both men stagger to their feet. Ziggler jumps on Sheamus with a sleeper attempt, but Sheamus tosses him off. Ziggler jumps into the “white noise” by Sheamus. Sheamus hits the “Brogue Kick” on Ziggler and gets a three count.
Sheamus walks out a winner but gets ambushed by Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. Sheamus goes down, head-first into the set and Del Rio slaps on the cross-arm-breaker, with Sheamus’ shoulder against the edge of the stage. Officials check him over as we go to commercial.
We come back with Johnny Ace demanding coffee from a crew member. David Otunga enters to tell Jonny about an announcement on WWE.com. Vince McMahon will be on RAW next week to evaluate Johnny’s job performance. John acts confident.
We fade in to Cole and Jerry. Cole says this explains why Johnny has him wrestling Cena. He just wants to impress Mr. McMahon.
Sin Cara, rocking the new Red/Silver look, makes his entrance. Next out is Hunico w/Camacho. This will be one on one.
Hunico scores a low kick and clubs Sin Cara w/forearms. Sin Cara whipped in, flips into the ropes, flips over Hunico, takes Hunico by the hand, hits a kick, climbs the ropes, flips 360 degrees over Hunico, arm drags him out to the floor, and hits the hurraconrana on the outside.
Sin Cara tosses Hunico back in, jumps over the top rope, over Hunico with a sunset flip attempt. Hunico rolls out and hits a kick to the head for a one count.
Hunico stomps Sin Cara, hooks his arms, takes him up in double under hook suplex and drops him back first on the knee for a two count.
Chin lock by Hunico. Hunico hoists Sin Cara up on his shoulders and spins, Cara holds on to the arm and scores an arm drag take-down.
Hunico charges into Cara’s feet, misses a second charge. Cara charges in, Hunico backdrops him to the outside apron, Cara holds the top rope and scores a double kick, followed by a hurriconrana and a drop kick.
Sin Cara charges, Hunico tries a hip toss but Cara ricochets off the ropes and gets an inverted arm drag, followed by a springing back elbow.
Sin Cara hits a dropkick on Camacho, runs into a slam attempt by Hunico, lands feet first and gets a flying head-scissors/face plant combo for the three-count.
Ryback is up next, and we go to commercial with a brief video recap of his wins.
Promo for RAW 1000 next week, Cenas favorite RAW memory is getting picked for team RAW in the draft.
We’re back in the ring with the team of Rosenberg and Stansky, from Downers Grove, Illinois. They introduce themselves w/a poem.
“He may be undefeated, but perhaps he’s never heard, of the two men that will defeat him –Stan Stansky and Arthur Rosenberg. We’ve watched the men that tried (?) and he’s crushed them then and again, on a scale of one to five, the two of us are a ten, So sit back and relax, eat your popcorn, have some fun, cause’ tonight, Ryback will understand, why two is greater than one.” – Stan Stansky; and Arthur Rosenberg
Cole is unimpressed.
Ryback enters with a huge close up on his face and pyro off camera. The match begins and Ryback LAUNCHES one opponent into the air with a simple back drop. The picture goes out for a second and Lawler jokes about the guy “taking out the satellite.” The second guy leaps into Ryback and gets tossed into his partner. Ryback takes the first opponent up in suplex position, and then does a brief march before dropping him. He tosses both men into a corner and crushes them with a shoulder charge. He shoots off the ropes and takes BOTH MEN DOWN WITH ONE CLOTHESLINE. Ryback hooks both men in a suplex position and hoists them both up on his shoulders. He marches briefly, takes a short run and drops back down on both men for the three-count.
Punk vs. Kane is next.
There MUST be a winner.
C.M. Punk comes out to “Cult of Personality,” while we hype the triple threat match at No Way Out for the WWE title. Cole begs Johnny to call off the main event. Johnny hangs up on him. Daniel Bryan comes out and grabs the mike for “Q&A time.”
“Has AJ gone completely delusional, since I dumped her? Yes! Will Kane destroy C.M. Punk tonight? Yes!
At No Way Out, in the triple threat match, will I become the new WWE champion? YES! YES! YES!” – Daniel Bryan
Kane’s pyro goes off while Bryan takes a seat. The WWE has a poll up on the website, “who is the greatest threat to C.M. Punk, Kane, Daniel Bryan… or AJ?”
Punk and Kane lock up. Kane forces Punk to the corner, and beats him down with a knee, punches, and stomping. He takes punk by the head into another corner, and continues the beat down. Kane whips Punk across the ring, charges into a big boot by Punk. Punk scores a jumping thrust kick, and takes Kane over and out with a clothes line. Punk hits the ropes and launches himself shoulder first into Kane, putting him down. Punk goes up on a corner and hits a flying axe-handle. Punk forces Kane back in the ring. He goes up top and hits him with a flying body press for a two count.
Punk scores a few kicks to the mid-section but runs into a knee. Kane hits the low drop-kick to the head for a two count. Kane shoves Punk by the head into a corner and hits a punch. He goes outside the ring to send Punk back with a shot to the face. He stomps Punk down and drops several elbows to Punks chest for a two count.
Kane body slams Punk and drops the leg for a two count, then locks Punk up in a chin lock-leg scissors combo, but Punk elbows out of it. Punk takes over with kicks, forearm shots, and elbows. Kane scoops him up but Punk slides down behind him and scores a hard kick to the mid section. Punk charges, but Kane catches him by the neck and tosses him over the top rope to the floor. Daniel Bryan laughs.
We’re back and Punk hooks a sleeper attempt while Cole begs Daniel Bryan for help in his match with John Cena. Kane drops Punk with a belly to back suplex, and gets a two count.
Kane has Punk in a chin lock. Punk elbows out, and gives Kane a few shots but gets caught in a side-slam for a two count.
Kane goes to the top rope, but Punk rockets up to meet him with a kick to the head, and both men are down. Punk scores the high-knee/bulldog combo for a two count.
Punk goes outside and springs to the top rope for a flying clothesline and a two count.
Punk tries to get Kane up on his shoulders for a “go to sleep,” but can’t hold him. Punk shoots off the ropes into a big boot by Kane and a two count.
Kane gets set for a choke slam, but Punk ducks, hooks the arm and gets a neck breaker for two.
While Bryan looks on, Punk goes to the top rope. Kane scores a shot to the face, and attempts a Superplex, but Punk fights him off. Kane goes down, and Punk hits a flying elbow for two.
Punk connects with a sliding kick, and lays in with forearms. Kane sends him hard, into the barricade, and crawls back in the ring. Bryan scores two kicks to Punk while the ref is busy with Kane.
Kane brings Punk back in with a hip toss and tries another choke-slam, Punk scores a kick to the head.
Both men are down, and AJ runs out. AJ argues with the ref, Bryan starts yelling at AJ, Punk launches himself into Bryan and bounces his head on the barricade.
Punk slides back in the ring and Kane scores a choke slam for the three-count.
AJ gets in the ring to tend to Punk. Kane stares at AJ. Bryan hits Kane, Kane kicks Bryan out. Kane turns back to AJ. AJ, SMILES at Kane. Kane looks confused, and leaves. AJ looks confused, and goes back to Punk. Bryan looks confused.
We do a promo for Cole vs. Cena and go to commercial.
DID YOU KNOW? WWE has more Facebook fans than MLB.
Josh Mathews interview AJ, asking about the “look” she gave Kane. AJ goes “manic pixie girl” (key word – manic,) on Josh and scares him off.
We recap Cena challenging Cole at the beginning of the show. Cole begs the WWE universe to use social media to beg Johnny Ace to call off the match. We go to a promo for Big Show, talking about how after 18 years of everybody else’s crap, we’re all gonna feel his pain.
Tag Team Champions R-Truth and Kofi Kingston come out as we go to commercial.
We’re back, and it’s Kofi in the ring w/Curt Hawkins. Kofi and Truth are all taped up, selling injuries from last week. Kofi and Curtis lock up, Kofi gets a wrist lock, Hawkins counters into a side head lock, Kofi sends him into the ropes, and Hawkins scores a shoulder block, hits the ropes, Kofi down, Hawkins over, Kofi leapfrogs twice and hits an elbow for a two count.
Kofi pulls Hawkins back w/the hammerlock, tags in R-Truth, double whip into a double hip toss, Kofi hits a kick to the face, Truth does a jumping split, hits the ropes, does a spin and drops a leg for a two count.
Hawkins tags in his partner, Tyler Recks, who runs into a leg-trip, take down; misses a clothesline attempt and R-Truth hits a spiraling forearm.
Truth pummels Recks in the corner. Hawkins takes a cheap shot from outside. Truth kicks him to the floor, but Recks pulls Truth back down hard, and beats on him. He picks him up in a back-breaker, and tags in Hawkins.
Hawkins gets in a shot to the side, a knee to the back, and tags back out to Recks, who stomps on Truth.
Truth and Recks trade shots. Recks pick Truth up in a slam, but Truth slides out and hits a jumping thrust kick. Recks tags in Hawkins, Truth tags in Kofi. Kofi comes off the top rope with the “superman punch,” to Hawkins, a boot to Recks, and a clothesline, knife chop, dropkick combo to Hawkins. Kofi hits another flying punch, and gives Hawkins the “boom boom” double leg drop.
Kofi, in the corner, signals for “Trouble in Paradise,” but has to take out Recks. Hawkins misses a clothesline, Kofi misses the kick, Hawkins shoves him into the corner, Kofi hits a flying body press for two, but Recks breaks it up.
Truth runs into a boot by Recks, Recks tosses him out, Truth pulls Recks out by the ankles to the floor, Hawkins misses a charge and Kofi connects with the “Trouble in Paradise” kick for the three-count.
Cole is told his match with Cena is next. Cena walks to the ring with a smile the length of his entire face, while Cole palms his face.
Promo for RAW 1000: Triple Hs’ best RAW memory, making a big comeback from leg surgery on Jan 7, 2002.
We’re back, and Cena gets introduced for his match, Cole tries to talk his way out of it. Johnny Ace rolls in on his chair, and makes it a no dq match… if Cena can beat Tensai.
They lock up, and Tensai scores an elbow to Cenas head. Tensai punches Cena into the corner and beats him down with punching and stomping. Tensai gets a head butt, and pummels Cena into the ropes. Tensai digs his boot into Cena as the crowd starts the “Let’s go Cena/Cena Sucks,” chant.
Tensai catapults Cena neck-first into the middle rope. Cena gets up, and trades punches with Tensai. Cena fights him back, and takes him over and out to the floor with a clothesline.
Cena throws Tensai back in the ring, but Sakamoto gets two strong kicks to Cena while the ref isn’t looking. Michael Cole cheers as we go to commercial.
We come back to Tensai squeezing Cenas head. Cena fights out with a dropkick, but Tensai takes him down with a clothesline.
Tensai picks him up into the corner, whips him across the ring, and hits him with an “avalanche.” Tensai tries it again, but runs into Cenas boots. Cena scores a bulldog from the top rope, but when he tries a suplex, Tensai floats over and drops down on Cenas arm. Tensai hits Cena with a charge and gets a two count.
Tensai sends Cena to the floor with a big head butt. Michael Cole takes the chance to taunt Cena. Tensai bounces Cenas head off the announce table. Cole gets in a slap, and Jerry gets up to shove Cole back.
Jerry and Cole get heated at each other while Tensai beats Cena down, and whips him into the stairs.
Cena just beats the ten-count to get back in the ring. Tensai hooks a double underarm suplex for a two count, but misses a senton splash. Cena hits a shoulder block, ducks a clothesline, and gets Tensai down with another shoulder block. Cena clocks Sakamoto, ducks a shot from Tensai, gets him up in a cradle-drop suplex, hits the five knuckle shuffle, gets him up in the “AA” and gets the three-count.
And now, the “main event,” of the evening; Cole has to face John Cena in a no dq match. Cena is all smiles; Cole looks like he’s facing foreclosure on his home. Cole gets up… and runs into the audience. Cena catches him, and after a noogie or two, tosses him over the railing. Cole runs to the announcers’ seat and grabs a mike as Cena throws him back in the ring.
Cole tries to talk Cena out of the match; however it quickly turns into an angry promo about how important he is. This leads to Cena ripping all Coles’ clothes off and mimicking Big Shows’ “shhh” routine before slapping the hell out of Cole.
Cena grabs Cole in a chin lock and makes him apologize into the mike, to Jerry Lawler, then to J.R. The logical follow up is to pour BBQ sauce all over him. Cena follows this up with his hilarious fire extinguisher routine, spraying Cole until Tensai sneaks in a double choke-slam. Cole gets a cheap two-count, and then tries to whack Cena with the extinguisher. Cena catches him in the “AA,” and this match finally ends.


  1. Yo Joe,
    I confess.
    Please just let me know if this came through okay, and if there's a tutorial on using Word Press, I will be glad to read it.

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