Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ Smackdown 10/08/10

Smackdown has been up and down throughout 2010. Some weeks it pleasantly surprises this smark, and others it bores the hell out of this here reviewer. Which version of the show will we get coming off of the Hell in the Cell PPV? Only one way to find out.

Just gotta grind a couple more out…

– Oh for fuck’s sakes… Michael Cole is joining the announce team. This show just got much much worse. Out comes Teddy Long to officially introduce Edge as SD’s newest acquisition. I still have no clue who the hell got traded the other way… or if it was for “future considerations.”

– Edge gets interrupted immediately by Jack Swagger, who seeks revenge for last week’s attack on stupidity (i.e. Edge’s new mission in life).

– Swagger’s idiot Eagle mascot is here too.

Great?

– “Why don’t you get in here, and I’ll make you look stupid… in about 3 seconds…” retorts Edge to Swaggers whining. The bell rings, and I guess this is a rematch from Hell in the Cell. The match gets the 15 minute treatment… the Eagle gets inadvertently speared prior the first break and EMS takes it away during the commercials! I liked this part quite a bit. Edge hits an incredibly smooth looking swing DDT from the seated position on the top ropes near the end of the match. Edge gets the “crazy eyes” and goes for the neurotic spear, but this dissolves into REVERSALS-APLENTY. The two try all signature moves possible, but Edge ultimately sneaks in a spear for the win. Nice curtain jerker here, and honestly Edge pulled a great match out of Swagger.

A good start, so I too spontaneously start break dancing.

– Meh. Another Cody Rhodes beauty tip, this time he tells us how to brush our teeth. Another one of my favorites is out next! Oh for joy! It’s Lay-Cool versus KellyllekellyllekellylleK FFW. Don’t care about this at all. Layla won. I stop as Natalya (from Calgary, Alberta, Canada) runs in to attend to Kelly, but nothing more happens.

– Big Show out to rock his new persona. It’s rather hilarious the way he runs out with a big shit-eating grin! He cuts a fun promo. Shills his new movie out this month, then announces he’s team captain for SD’s team at Bragging Rights. Hornswoggle is team mascot, and out come the Dudebusters to solicit themselves to be on the team. Show kind of says meh. Dudebusters say they could just go to Teddy Long and get traded to RAW and join their team instead, thus pulling their Blue shirts off to reveal the hated Red RAW shirts. So Big Show double chokes them! Well, color me badd, but that was a damn fine promo segment.

Big Show has the final say to who will be joining his Crips.

– Oh yeah, right. Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes are out and still our Tag Title Champs (new belts at some point recently). KAVAL! He’s gonna get squashed? Perhaps, but his partner is Kofi Kingston. There are five people in the very front camera-side each holding up one of the letters in “Kaval.” Naturally Michael Cole starts bitching about “video game geeks” This man knows how to piss off older fans… the tone of disgust he uses is “vintage.” Meanwhile, the match itself is pretty good, and watching Kofi and Kaval fly around the ring was brilliant. Rhodes ultimately picked up the pin, but the two high-fliers come out looking strong as well. Likely the match of the night!

Cool like this.

BUT NOT AS COOL AS JORDAN EBERLE’S FIRST EVER NHL GOAL SCORED ON OPENING NIGHT  (YES, CAPITALIZATION IS NECESSARY).

BRILLIANCE!

– Paul Bearer stands under a spotlight in the darkened arena. He sold out the Undertaker at HitC, so the crowd is booing him. “BOO!” they say. Boo, indeed. He introduces Kane with a classic ramble of an introduction. Fuck yeah! Kane spends many moons on the way to his far away destination of the mystical ring of legend. After bidding his homeland tribe, the People of the Entrance Ramp,” he makes his long perilous trek towards the ring. I was able to type that in the time it took him.

– Kane does then go on a long, but well delivered story of his “plans” over the years…. and of course his dominance of the Deadman on Sunday. Very well produced segment, ending with the Kane fireworks. The Undertaker is a hurting dude, I hear. More so than ever… so no run ins my friends…

– Dolph Ziggler defends his I.C. title against MVP. I’m not feeling this, nor can I see titles changing hands here. I hope they do… just don’t see it. Not alot really happens here, except Vickie walks out on Dolph for some reason. This leads to a commercial break. Can you see the excitement in my font?

FUN!

– We come back to the prototypical demonstration of restholds by Ziggler. Yawn. Fuck it, I FFW through and that’s all it is. Restholds. That NXT Caitlyn or whatever the fuck runs out to watch. Moments later Ziggler wins. Then this Kate-Lynn is hugging Dolph as Vickie comes out for soap opera fun times, guys! YAY! More FFW.

– Del Rio is interviewed by Josh Mathews backstage. Alberto is pure gold, although I can’t tell you what he said in Spanish. And it doesn’t matter, he tells me, because Rey will be vanquished, essentially. Loved it.

– I’ll be complaining eventually about Del Rio’s super long entry in due time, but until then I am still quite amused by it. Lots of time eaten, though. Rey does the clock no favors either, as the two men take around 7 – 8 minutes coming out. They do up a little bit of flippy floppy shit that’s all right, then of course it’s time to pay the bills.

– Batista is still shown in the montage that advertises the WWE on the Score in Canada.

-Alberto Del Rio versus Rey Mysterio continues… and damn it, it is pretty damn good! Mysterio hits a kick to the head on Del Rio in the corner ropes… the glazed expression Alberto delivered after was really really excellent too! I love this guy. After some high flying awesomeness, Del Rio manages to continue to work Rey’s injured shoulder. Alberto’s ring announcer causes a distraction as Rey goes for his finisher, causing a lot of havok, but ultimately leading to Rey landing a Frog Splash for the win! Hmm… I liked watching Kaval and Kofi overall, but this was beyond my expectations as well.

– The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out. Michael Cole… go away.

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Random Morphine Reference:

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That would be: TCR Comix: The Sexy Undead

Naturally.

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Shameless Plugs!

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LarG Productions

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