Smackdown 10/24/10
By G · · 3 CommentsNight of Champions fall out is the theme of the night… sort of. See, WWE has another PPV in two Sundays – Hell in a Cell. As a result, one could expect continuity of most storylines towards that event. Or so logic would lead one to believe… The suffrage commences now!
– Kane starts us off in a match against Chris Masters. Meh. This looks like a winner. It’s surprisingly not a squash, which means one of two things for Masters, they are either repushing him down our throats or perhaps this is his pre-future-endeavored match. Or so the trends would suggest. Notable, is that Masters gets his Masterlock submission on Kane for a significant period of time before Kane breaks free. Kane lands a nice standing dropkick (which you don’t see him do everyday) and more or less manhandles Mr. Man-Titty Dance, finishing him with both a chokeslam and a tombstone piledriver.
WOW!! What a match! Meh.
– Post match, Kane does a live promo about the Undertaker. It’s kind of redundant and cliche statements that emit from Kane’s mouth, cheap heel audience heat and Taker is all scared now. The saving grace was Kane going into the audience and kneeling right by some kid (plant) whose reaction is initially scared, but soon just annoyed looking as Kane blah blah blahs about fear. The kids Dad just looks amused.
– Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre are the new Tag Team Champions as of last Sunday. The Hart Dynasty (from Calgary, Alberta, Canada) have invoked their rematch clause. As much as I dislike the “thrown together” singles teams winning titles (and am sure many of you do too), the Hart Dynasty would be better served by losing tonight and chasing to Hell in the Cell. Most smarks are well aware that McMahon’s vision neglects the division anyways, so this approach would certainly keep some TV time dedicated to tag team wrestling.
I wish I could do this to tailgating pricks. Fuck, I already have a tendency to speed when driving all ready, but some people are such shitty drivers, it blows my mind. Yeah I’m still road raging, just got home from a bunch of scientific observations of the n00b drivers. Soccer Moms, the business man coked out, the stupid teenager who has Daddy’s car and wants to race, the people who drive slow in the normal zone yet speed up to normal in the Playground zone. Fuck…
– On the other hand, this just allows McIntyre and Rhodes to display their over-used submission-heavy style…. which is precisely what we get post commercial break. Tyson Kidd will have none of it, breaks free and explodes flying across the ring. This includes Kidd vaulting off the top of the middle of the highest rope and landing with a Variation of “Sliced Bread.” Sick move. Too bad Kidd does too much as McIntyre trips him up, and hits a DDT for the win. Champs retain.
– Backstage Undertaker is seen coughing and looking old and tired in a dark room. Then we cut to Alberto Del Rio telling a prone and beaten up Christian that he told him something. Referees run in and Del Rio throws his hands up, that he was not involved and leaves.
Does Christian getting jumped mean him and Del Rio’s feud is already over?
– I FFW right through the RAW clips. Hornswoggle has the Dudebusters trying to teach him how to say their name. Teddy Long shows up and asks him what they are trying to do. They tell him they are teaching him to talk. Long tells them that’s a ridiculous idea. For a moment I’m happy since I thought they were dropping this… turns out Long tells Hornswoggle he’ll keep teaching him to talk after the Dudebusters leave.
– Backstage, CM Punk officially kicks Gallows out of the SES. Gallows new look gives that away before anything is said. Gallows gets berated, so he picks up Punk and slams him against the wall… sadistically telling him he’ll take him out in the ring tonight and celebrate by having a beer. Regardless of THAT outcome, I already am (well number 2… off to get the third). Not too bad! And the segment was good too! I will have to give Gallows a chance tonight.
PUCK YOU! will be back on Project Wonderboy for another season. We’ll discuss various preseason issues in the NHL. It’s for the fans, by the fans. We’ve got a great panel this season! Ha ha, slipped a shameless plug in!
– Chavo Guerrero versus Kaval! This was a fantastic match. Kaval showed off his aerial repertoire with fellow high flying Chavo who actually picked up the win with a frog splash. I’m on the fence as to whether I liked the finish. I love Kaval (or his pre-WWE work under the various alternate monikers). But I like Chavo’s work when he is allowed to show us what he can actually do. Give me a rematch anytime.
– Ricardo Rodriguez, Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer, is introduced. Seriously. That was fucking awesome. A ring announcer announced the announcement of the man who announce the entrance of a wrestler. Think about that for a second…
– Alberto is out to discuss the status of one Rey Mysterio, and his hand in it. Del Rio tells us he would tell Christian when he was ready for a match (hence the beatdown earlier off camera), and now he’s ready. Then he goes on to show us him taking out the only masked man on the WWE roster. Del Rio is awesome with his sarcasm and false enthusiasm as he tells the crowd that Mysterio will be back next week. Alberto tells us they will fight as well. That was fantastic! Hey CM Punk, you’ve got some serious competition for G’s (a.k.a. “Gee”) best heel on the microphone award! Christian comes out to address their issues, but Del Rio uses HEEL TACTICS HAXOR LULZ to cold cock him and work an injury angle via submission on Christian’s left arm. Fucking brilliant segment, folks!
Yay, I just like this choice for a gif….
– More of Undertaker sitting on the stares looking all emo and disappointed in his slow and plodding ways.
– The Big Show comes out and the camera pans to a bunch of various kids at ringside. Show takes a little extra time with them on the way down, giving one his head band which drops to a necklace on one tykes neck, and the shirt off his back to a kid with down syndrome at the corner. I can be a dick in my reviews, but this was likely a quietly done Make a Wish moment for some of these kids, so, kudos.
– Show kills Vance Archer. Glad to see that, I’ve never enjoyed his work and just realized how much I bitched when he was getting a push a while ago. I easily and promptly forgot about him when he was off my television. Speaking of pushes gone bad, we get a Jack Swagger promo with his old “look at my accomplishments” shit. It gets funny when the Dudebusters do a “Repoman” collection of his artifacts in the background. They did this in the Hornswoggle segment too, I just didn’t realize it might stick. Looks like the Dudebusters new gimmick is that they are indeed, a tag team version of “The Repoman.” Their future is destined for success.
It’s PG-13 kids. Everywhere, the NXT generation of fans for Rock and Roll Wrestling Version Two-ahh, are traumatized at how bad a premise for a team this is as well.
– CM Punk versus Luke Gallows. The “Attempt at a Failed Push” starts here. Gallows will win this match… Gallows does get his power-move time here, but let’s face it, I am not a fan of the Hoss-Style. Punk is clearly the more interesting of the two. Punk actually does get the win, so I was wrong. I don’t know what this means for Gallows. Perhaps this leads to a grudge match at Hell in the Cell? Decent match at best.
– More Undertaker crying on the stairs shot. HE’S THINKING. Ok, thanks. I know they are trying to build the drama of Taker having an epiphany, but fuck, how long is this thought? 90 minutes? Like 90? Seriously? Is it the stages of denial or something? Meh….
Ouch.
– I should be a seat-filler at RAW for a second time on October 18th in Calgary… If all goes as planned. Watch for a special one-off episode of a RAW review, as G/Gee resurrects the first so-called article he reviewed for wrestling that was published… care of, and courtesy of BoredWrestlingFan.com . Thank you ThinkSoJoE for publishing my inane shit!
– Dolph Ziggler, IC Champion, is facing MVP. He’s coming… still. He’s also rocking his old school garb, atta boy MegaMan!! Loved the Capcom spaceman costume in his early years, nice to see it tonight.
The fans pop for MVP! Hell, even the end-level-bosses are on their feet!
– You know, it’s so easy for the IWC to rip on how annoying and tired Vickie Guerrero is as a character. While that sounds like the opening line of a defense of her, it is not. Go away Vickie. Yes, I shed a tear (legit) when I heard Eddie died. I still am sad about it. But go away Vickie. That is all.
– She gets involved and in the way, hence suffering the fate of Mercutio. Well, she doesn’t get stabbed, but Dolph kind of takes her out, and she mercifully leaves ringside. The match continues.
– Dolph and MVP are having a nice bout… It’s a wee bit slow for my liking, but they mix it up rather smoothly. After some good storytelling, Dolph goes for the classic HEEL TACTIC LOLCATZ move. He takes his title and walks out accepting a countout loss. Fuck you Michael Cole and your “vintage,” because that’s what that was.
– More Repoman shit from the D.B.’s They collect Mendez jump rope and have recruited Hornswoggle with their work. All through out these segments they have had Smackdown to SyFy October 1st messages in these segments. At least they’ve been subtle. Back to Taker who waxes poetic upon the stairs. “Kane….” Cue eyeball roll, end segment.
Moving on…
– So this is how we end our show? Sigh… Kane comes out and talks for like 8 minutes or something. “Now… this… this… IS MY YARD!” and “HELL. IN. A. CELL.” That was the only things you needed to hear. Then cue the monks who bring out the coffin… After a LONG and DRAWN out moving of the coffin to the ring, I kid you not, IT’S PAUL BEARER IN THE FUCKING COFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!! LOVED THAT!!! SMILEY EMOTICON!
– Lights go out, Bearer in the ring laughing and caressing the Urn maniacally as Taker stands behind Kane… attacks, and drives Kane away. Taker focuses on Bearer. Kane is all like, WTF!!!! Taker bows subservantly to the Urn! Fuck the tightrope walking, THIS is old school! MAGIC IS BACK IN WRESTLING! I don’t know what to think of this personally.
– Little known “G” fact. I stopped watching wrestling for a while back in the day because of this shit. WWE, you’re on notice.
– The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.
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Random Morphine Reference:
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3 Comments
Drowgoddess
Paul Bearer! I had no idea, and I won't lie, it was fun.
Alberto Del Rio took out Rey Mysterio. Then Christian. Christian's injury takes him out of the game for the next six months. Who steps up and possibly takes the guy out? Good storytelling involves things happening in threes. I have a cunning plan.
Edge. From what I read, Edge is going to "Smackdown." He's a legit main eventer. He doesn't need to be a heel, and would probably get major face pop for just showing up on "Smackdown." Despite going on about the anonymous GM, Edge isn't really doing much now on RAW. The big move to the SyFy channel happens next week anyway. Imagine Edge showing up on "Smackdown" and confronting Del Rio over putting his brother on the shelf, and awesomeness ensues. The promo war alone would be GOLD. It's a thought.
Gee Hall
I would really enjoy Edge jumping to SD. In fact, I like the idea of a Del Rio/Edge feud. I was unaware Christian was injured, that actually sucks if he is gone for the long term.
While I rip on the Undertaker quite often (I make no apology for the fact that most of his matches bore the life out of me), I do appreciate the very slow progression of his look/gimmick being a representation of a reverse nostalgic presentation of his "looks" over his tenure. They've been doing this for a couple seasons now, and it's a very clever way to send off the character. Is WrestleMania going to be the final culmination of this? Or sooner?
Drowgoddess
Christian has a legit torn pectoral, and is expected to be out for the next six months. Or so it has been said.
No matter what else they do, I can't see the ultimate ending to the Kane/Taker feud being anything other than Mania main event. I think that Kane should continue to defeat Taker on ppv until then, and even let Taker go away for a few weeks at a time. Kane announces that he has won, Taker returns unannounced and demands a Mania match, and Taker's last match is at Mania, where he wins, and the Streak is unbroken for all time. That's what I'd do.