Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ Smackdown: 10/28/11

It’s odd. Lately RAW has been pretty terrible. I enjoy parts, but overall, Smackdown has been delivering in ring more often that the so-called “A” show. It’s akin to the days of the “Smackdown Six,” and some how includes Mark Henry. Crazy, I know. But the guy is on top as a dominant heel champion, and I actually look forward to watching what happens. And therefore, let’s get to it… shall we?

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

– Theodore Long starts things off telling us that despite the injuries sustained by both The Big Show and Mark Henry in the Vengeance ring collapse last Sunday, both will appear tonight to address the future of the World Championship. Captain Charisma interrupts, and says the future “will be addressed right now.” Big Show blew his opportunity according to Christian. Living Colour’s music hit, and that can only mean one thing. CM Punk is on Smackdown. Teddy Long explains that since RAW can use SD guys, he arranged for the reverse to occur on a Super Smackdown.

Will we even see Mark Henry tonight?

– Punk thanks the crowd, and says it’s nice to be somewhere with Teddy running the show, who makes Johnny look terrible with his incompetence. He makes a jab at FDR’s leadership and Teddy, then makes Christian look bad by noting he doesn’t waste everyone’s time with his bitching (he repeats bitching and bitching like 90 times). Christian retorts telling Punk to take his pipebomb because no one wants him here, to which the crowd breaks into a chant for Punk, playing to the live audience in Houston effectively… Long books a match between the two tonight to Christian’s chagrin. Great opening segment!

Charles Barkley @G: “I only watch ROH, and like the message in my picture says…”

G @Charles Barkley: “I can’t blame you, lately. I’m really looking forward to Katz’s Wrestling Revolution!”

– * Non-Title Match: Air Boom {C} vs. Awesome Truth. Looks like 2/3 of the WWE tag team division is in action tonight as the Usos are stuck on NXT. Looks like Trent Barretta broke away from that show, but we’ll get to that later. Truth and Miz immediately isolate Kofi as the face in distress, Rich Flynn’s old trademarked bit. Bourne gets a hot tag, and lands a bunch of excellent acrobatic kicks, leveling the playing field… as we cut to break, Truth and Bourne tango outside the ring…We return to Bourne now being isolated. I guess when you have two similar sized faces in a tag team, they can trade roles. It doesn’t last much longer as the heels use some double team action, with a tag where Miz holds Kofi in a full nelson, and then both heels slam Kingston facefirst into the mat for the win! Great spot! Truth hits the microphone and cuts a promo about he and Miz’s dominance over HHH and Punk at Vengeance, and Zack Ryder on RAW. Miz jumps in, and notes the dissension between Cena and Rock… and how this will lead them to taking them both out (unless they do it to each other first) at Survivor Series. Effective promo here, folks. I’m not thrilled that the WWE themselves announced that it was supposed to be a traditional five man elimination match weeks ago, and it currently is billed as a tag match… FUCK! But, perhaps they will add to the teams as the weeks progress? Hell, I might even watch the PPV if they go that route… might even pay for it too…

Battlefield 3. It’s on my mind… Pokemon would be too if it was played this way…

– A bunch of random guys are discussing the new Bret/HBK DVD, and Daniel Bryan is talking about how awesome HBK’s career was… only to be interrupted by Tyson Kidd who reminds us about the Montreal Screwjob. They poll the randoms, and after some bickering Santino Marella suggests they settle their debate in the ring. Loved this, especially if you know Tyson’s backstory (last man trained in the Dungeon). Cut to Hornswoggle doing a Zack Ryder shtick, enter Vickie/Dolph/Swagger who are informed Dolph will face Orton tonight, then interrupted by Aksana (remember her? Me neither) and sexual innuendo is suggested (i.e. Long is going to fuck her in his office)… meh.

– * Wade Barrett vs. Trent Baretta. Looks like Baretta is being fed to Barrett. They disagree with how many “r’s” should be in “barrett(a).” It’s kind of a shame because if spell-check has taught me anything, the answer is 2. Also a shame, because Trent is excellent in my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Wade’s work as well.

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: Wade Barrett cuts recorded promo earlier. “When I step in the ring, it becomes my trench. The arena? My battlefield. My opponent? My casualty of war.” Fuck yes.

– Barrett wastes no time making Baretta his fodder. Like a cat playing with a mouse, he dismantles Trent with little care, or thought of an immediate pin. Baretta gets his spirit meter maxed out, but to no avail, as Wade lands his Wasteland finisher in about two minutes. Yep, it’s a squash. But since it’s around that time of year when the Yankees eat their Thanksgiving meal, you’ve got to represent the gourd. Canadians have got it right (silly Americans), since we eat our Turkey in October. Yeah, that’s a cheap shot. Even more so, I’m rooting for Tyson Kidd tonight. Bret Hart was WAY more in the right (check the new DVD, it’s great). Vince screwed Bret. Shawn was on drugs, and lost his smile because his dealer was “out.” That is all. :p

I don’t think that I want to go to Wizard School if this is in the curriculum.

– * Non-Title Match: Dolph Ziggler {C} vs. Randy Orton. Let me just put this out there… WHY IN THE FUCK WAS THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP NOT ON THE LINE AT VENGEANCE? Rhodes and Orton had a decent match, but seriously this was an opportunity to elevate the championship itself! Sure, I rip on Orton and how he bores me… but love him or hate him, this was a way to make the title more important. Just by giving Orton a short run would have added to the prestige of holding it even if Rhodes didn’t successfully defend it. The same goes for this match… WHY IN THE FUCK ARE THERE ANY NON-TITLE MATCHES? STUPID! Have I filled my “fuck” quota yet? This makes me want to listen to “The City With Two Faces” by Goldfinger. Check the 1:12 minute mark, smarks… you hear what I’m getting at:

[youtube 7C4SgMhavPU]
You can’t even surf unless you want to get Hepatitis…

– Rhodes joins commentary since his face is “damaged,” not his larynx. His baggers stand behind him as he points out he wants to Resurrect the I.C. title (my point, thanks). I get really bored, really early on. Thanks Randy! Rest hold… Is the epitomy of the “WWE Style” about being killing energy? I FFW through the commercial break, and do no even bother backtracking when I accidently go too far. ThinkSoJoE and I are facing off in our PUCK YOU! pool this week, and I become more interested in our trash talk. This match is watchable, no knock on Dolph. Just when things look interesting, the Viper hits his finisher and picks up the win. Post match Rhodes does a paper bag spot on the entry ramp, I just stop caring.

Hulk Hogan can’t take bumps… therefore Randy and random lady put on better matches. Yes, the fat dude character is named Randy. And for those not familiar with The Trailer Park Boys, you need to catch up on epic Canadian humor.

– A demasked Hunico is interviewed backstage by Matt Striker. He says some stuff in Spanish (sorry, not versed). He is obviously angry though about this, and he should be. I’m still angry they gave this away for free on TV. Speaking of giving away things free on TV, check out Pintnoir’s excellent rundown of Impact Wrestling this week! Next Thursday will feature James Storm defending his title against ??? (not posting spoilers).

– * Daniel Bryan vs. Tyson Kidd. I’m going to be honest. Orton sucked the life out of me, and all I want to do is watch this match. Potentially, this could be epic… They continue to argue about Bret/HBK, and then action gets under way… multiple periods, right? No, they ruined it. Bryan submits Tyson in about 2 minutes. FUCK! Bret still was right all along.

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Here’s Daniel Bryan discussing his plan to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase at WrestleMania… which of course ties into our previous match.

– Cole reminds us of his challenge to J.R. on RAW, where Cole promises to quit if he lose. Ross has accepted… I don’t wish death on anyone, generally… let’s go J.R.!

– The Big Show is dressed in a suit to address the title. He is received well, and actually puts over Henry as one of the most powerful people he has faced in his 16 year career… and even feeling the pain, he wants to “Do it one more time!” Crowd pops, as Show tells us he knows he can beat Henry. Show tells us Teddy Long assured him of a rematch as the former Kool-Aid man makes his way out… Henry doesn’t think Show even has an argument, and looks to enter the ring to fight… then walks away like as the kids used to put it, “A Boss.” While that meme is a year plus old, that’s what it was. Good segment.

Al Bundy is a wise man.

– * Christian vs. CM Punk. This one looks to be more me, than the match itself. They give them about 13 minutes, but it’s 1AM and I would rather be playing Battlefield 3… even though the WPO Crew is long away, off in la-la-land. Get it? Go to sleep? Meh, check our Halloween episode… Bruce goes off on a rant, but I save the show with my Boogeyman question! If Bruce reads this, he’s gonna hate me. Ha aha!

– BUT NO!!! Alberto Del Rio makes his way to entry ramp as we hit our first commercial break. Punk looks concerned, and so far this match is barely underway… The crowd is solidly behind Punk, and the two deliver a pretty decent match. It’s methodical, but not slow. Therefore, it’s wrestling and both look strong. Christian counters a very smooth looking dive from Punk on the top ropes, into a scoop body slam!! Punk manages his way out of this, and calls for the GTS… BUT NO!! Rico Rodriguez for the distraction spot, Punk is in disbelief… so he goes to pay homage to the Macho Man with a top rope flying elbow… RODRIGUEZ AGAIN WITH THE DISTRACTION, allowing Del Rio to crotch drop him via the ropes… out runs Sheamus to chase off the ringside heels and Punk lands his GTS for the pin and the win.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

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Hey, let’s leave on a positive note… this is one of my absolute favorite ska punk songs ever. At least check it out, ’cause you might find a new favorite too… plus I already referenced Goldfinger, and there’s a hidden track about Chicken McNugget’s on this album… so…

Oh, and here’s the Power Poll, which I have stopped participating in. However, if anyone reading this would like to be our voice in it and a place to post anything they want in relation to it, hit us up in the comments.

10/28/11

1. Alberto Del Rio (2)

2. Mark Henry (1)

3. Awesome Truth (7)

4. Dolph Ziggler (NR)

5. Randy Orton (4)

6. James Storm (NR)

7. Kevin Nash (NR)

8. Sheamus (6)

9. Air Boom (8)

10. CM Punk (3)

Fallen Out Of The Top 10:
John Cena, Cody Rhodes, Big Show

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

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Shameless Plugs!

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The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
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LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

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