Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ Smackdown 10/29/10

Tonight we are slated to have a funeral for the Deadman. Being Halloween week, or whatever they call it in today’s immensely Hallmark influenced world. I love the holiday, don’t get me wrong. It just seems to get more commercialized every year, and I just sound more like an old man… ha ha… Screw it, time to suffer through Smackdown… Maybe there will be some wrestling too?

“I don’t know what you’ve been drinking, but pour another one for me.”

– We open the show with a dramatic video showcasing the Undertaker… more or less produced to feel like you’d expect as Kane comes out to eulogize the Undertaker. Kane stands atop a grave stone and plot on top by the ring ramp. I’m pretty sure there have to laws against burying the dead on a portable stage. Also, the gravestone had the WWE logo on it. A corporate man to the end, that Mark. Eh, fella? The thing is, the tombstone says “Buried Alive” with Kane VS the Undertaker on it. So, technically they’re burying the match itself… not the man.

– Kane does hit a great promo, and the crowd buys into it with boos aplenty. During the final moment of silence… well who better to interrupt than Alberto Del Rio, who drives out in his car and to full entrance pyro, wearing a suit that looks like a million dollars. Brilliant, actually. How better to instantly transition Kane into a face than have a pompous ass come out and disrespect a funeral. Del Rio is great as well, being his pretentious self and regrets not getting a shot at the title…

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, INTERRUPTING A CEREMONY!!” screams Kane, but Del Rio somehow gets the upper hand… out comes Mysterio for the save? What? Rey 619’s Paul Bearer…. Kane fucks up Rey’s shit, and Edge comes out and spears Kane? Everything went TNA for a moment there…

CLUSTERFUCK!

-Teddy Long tells Del Rio he will face Edge and Mysterio tonight to determine the number one contender for the title. Del Rio was trying to cajole himself into it, looks a bit distraught, but then turns his frown upside down in response. Man, Del Rio really is a great addition to this company.

The wink says more than words ever could.

– * Raw vs. Smackdown Non-Title: Daniel Bryan {C} vs. Dolph Ziggler {C}. The excellent feud continues. While Ol’ Ziggy has bounced in and out of this smark’s favor over the past year, this series has failed to disappoint thus far. The two take little time to get things started… The beauty of this feud is we get to watch it on either brand (and the announcers point out this is Daniel’s first bout on Smackdown). Matt Striker shills the man. After what comes off as a building technical back and forth match, for at least 1 and 1/2 segment of fighting, we get an ugly botch. Bryan tries to launch Ziggler from inside the ring, to the outside… but as he flips him using his legs upside down, he falls on top of Dolph to the outside… no “injuries” here. Oww. They take some time to get up and finish the match brilliantly and explosive in action. Of course, Dolph hits the finisher and the pin, and him and Vickie celebrate! The referee was out, and missed the whole thing, thus continuing the screw job storyline… Bryan gets the win cleanly moments later. Redundant finish. 🙂 It’s a fucking feud!

Pack another bowl for me… here’s how to play this epic punk rock (now classic, because I am old) “Titty Twister” by Diesel Boy.

– WWE continues to stand up for itself. I really don’t want to get into this propaganda… so I won’t. Cody Rhodes and Kelly Kelly backstage give me no incentive to stop FFW’ing through this… until Show shows up and challenges him to a match. Show steals this segment, with his McIntyre impression.

– * Kaval vs. Jack Swagger w/ Eagle Mascot. Kaval enters with ninja action flips! PLEASE GIVE THIS MATCH TIME… ! Swagger plays the size advantage here… yep, David vs Goliath to start. After a good three minutes of selling, Kaval explodes and we get a series of back and forth attacks. Again, this program looks really good. Another good injection of talent potential as we’ve seen between “indie” guys. More Swagger/Kaval please.

– Next up is a Halloween costume contest between WWE Divas. I go edit another article related to hockey… Melina was Spider women of Marvel Comics… I noticed that. It turned into a match as well. Sorry folks, I blanked on this, but that’s what happens when you write while you watch. Yawn. Faces versus heels… Meh

– * Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre vs. Big Show/Kofi Kingston. McIntyre and Rhodes have words for Nexus stealing their titles last PPV. Rhodes tells us their new tag team name is “The Dashing Ones.” Yes. He said that. I look down briefly at the floor thinking about how I have to attempt to explain my enjoyment of professional wrestling to peers.

– This match is pretty much ignored by the announcers who discuss the Nexus/Cena storyline… In the ring, Kofi and McIntyre look good in their tandem. Show slows things down, naturally, and does his routine. McIntyre and Rhodes have a break-up stare segment after Drew abandons Cody who is destroyed by the Big Show. Match over… and like sands through the hourglass…

Patrick Kane oddly enough is a relevant random image inclusion… plus he’ll choke out cabdrivers if they have no change for the fare.

– Rhodes and McIntyre bicker backstage and break up the team. Good. That team name was brutal.

– * #1 Contender’s Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge… kind of. The show burns off about seven minutes of time with clips and ring entrances… or as Henry Rollins refers to as time murderers. Little fucking daggers stabbing you and killing you slowly. FFW!

– The main event gets underway. I am happy to admit my cynacism going in is quickly proven wrong. It’s likely a result of fatigue, and secretly hoping I can skip through this and get to sleep play more XBL (Halo or EA NHL 2011). But sometimes being “let down” is a good thing. The three grapplers start off quite well… commercial break ending, match resuming… It’s hard to describe tonight, because once again this combination is just fucking fun to watch. We see a very diverse bout here, with sick high spots and chain movesets, inside and outside action, and so forth. Rather than type, for much of this I just consumed…. BRAINS!!! Near the climax we see reversal aplenty off the top ropes leaving the three in total desperation. Mysterio hits a neat looking double diamond cutter on Del Rio and Edge. And this just adds water to the recipe. Insane near fall explosion ensues leaving Mysterio flying to the outside, as Edge almost steals a win on Del Rio. NEAR FALLS APLENTY! Get your “play-by-play” elsewhere. Start with YouTube and watch this match. Edge capitalizes to a pop from the audience amongst a chaotic ending. Del Rio is set up for the 619… as is Edge afterwards. Rey delays and Del Rio grabs him and places him up for a slam as Edge also recovers for the spear. Kane walks out menacingly, I guess.

The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out. Happy Halloween.

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Shameless Plugs!

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Bored Wrestling Fan
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Morphine Nation
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Wonderpod
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LarG Productions
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Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

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