Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ Smackdown: 11/12/10

While the WWE tours Europe, they managed to tape a Smackdown for us. All we know for sure, is that on RAW we were told Otunga is facing Edge tonight Where in the world is Alberto Del Rio? Let’s find out…

HEY KIDS! CLICK THE LINK FOR THE ANSWER! EVEN BIG SHOW WANTS YOU TO. He also wants you to buy Knucklehead on DVD. He said, “Please, for the love of god, please.”

– The answer is still Manchester, England. That’s where he is. Aren’t you impressed by how lame a jump link I just made? I call it laziness.

– It’s official… after letting the new theme song settle in for a bit, it’s official. Green Day is vastly superior to Nicklecrack. And, between you and me, I have it on the down low that Chad Kroeger does not tip the pizza guy even though he lives in the rural lower mainland just outside of Abbotsford and Langley. What a prick.

– Edge cuts a promo to kick off the show. Excellent. He tells us he is a busy guy, and he fills us in on his agenda (but in reverse). He plans on walking into WrestleMania as the 10 time World Champ. He’s going to attain this belt at Survivor Series against Kane. Yet tonight, he has to face “Mr. A List” David Otunga. He rips on him for a minute, until out comes Nexus sans Wade Barrett (even though they are still in the U.K.). Out comes Vickie to annoy the piss out of all in attendance. Which isn’t a bad thing, since Teddy is away, the crowd loves to hate this lady. She runs down the card… but I’ll get to this in time. What IS key, is that the Edge/Otunga match will feature Nexus at ringside… and, the entire Smackdown roster. Also, she makes the two men shake hands or Edge will forfeit his match… Ahh Vickie is still bitter about the… screw it, no one cares anymore. Especially because:

Nudge, nudge, wink wink…

– * Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston. On a side note, Del Rio should be the guy to win the King of the Ring tournament (coming up quick, the date escapes me at this drunken time). While there are a few grapplers I could make a case for, Del Rio seems like the best character to slap the glory on. It fits his character and could elevate him right into the mainevent where he belongs. Disagree? Bitch me out in the comments section below.

– The match starts up, and this is a great tandem to go at it. Del Rio, once again, shows us he can go with the high fliers. Kofi, fails to disappoint, and hits some high spots including a decent suicide dive to the outside, and selling a drop kick from the ring apron courtesy of Del Rio. Some commercials get in our way, which are defeated by a mystical fast forward button +3/+6 versus WWE advertising.

So I will take this time to shill something I think is awesome. In fact, I would go as far to say that “The Walking Dead” AMC series is my favorite show on television at this time. Over wrestling easily.

– We return to more great grappling. Kofi lands a HUGE cross body splash from the top ropes… sick vertical here. Del Rio eventually picks up the win, only to have Rey Mysterio come out, and 619 him as their feud continues to continue.

– Otunga has a bull session with the Nexus, turning the members frowns upside down. They patronize Otunga and come across as confident, only to look distraught after Otunga exits stage left. Ahh… the drama.

– * Natalya (from Calgary, Alberta, Canada) vs. Layla. Michelle McRib’s got to stay home from the European tour since she’s married to the Undertaker. Layla is still a heel in her home country. Natalya hits a delayed suplex, showing off her strength. When was the last time you saw a female wrestler do THAT on WWE? Fuck it, I’ll make this an animated gif while I watch the remainder of the match… Wow, I’m a giving person…

A thing of beauty. Also… Nice move! You might recognize it too…

– Natalya is amazing here, and picks up the win with a Sharpshooter. Post match, Kane cuts a promo with Paul Bearer backstage on Edge. Typical shit here.

– * Edge vs. David Otunga (Otunga’s Nexus membership is on the line). Otunga is escorted by Nexus, but wears his bling-bling Nexus hoodie (that sparkles). I love the hoodie, albeit wouldn’t buy it. Rather, it adds a visual that separates him slightly from the Borg that is Nexus. Ahh, blatant foreshadowing… but when your target demographic is 12 years old, well, I suppose it’s subtle. Plus all us “old” Rasslin’ fans are inbred yokels anyways, AMIRITE? The lumberjacks are out already, and I hopefully anticipate a good ol’ clusterfuck…. but I’ll have to triple team my sister-mother-aunt with Billy Bob and Jimmy Billy Bob while listening to Dueling Banjos during the commercial break.

🙂

– David Otunga is not very good at wrestling. I was going to say something about what the guys at ringside are thinking (i.e. along the lines that THIS GUY is getting airtime over me?). And yes, including Chris Masters who is a lumberjack. And if that guy is thinking that, fuck… bad news. But that would be mean, so I won’t write that. Edge is clearly carrying this one. An amusing exchange is going on between MVP and Alberto Del Rio outside. The lumberjacks go into clusterfuck mode, as expected to my delight. ALSO, I see Fit Finlay amongst the ‘jacks. Cool, I am glad the “E” gives Fit a chance to suit up, especially if the dirt-sheet rumours about pressure to retire towards training and developing talent exclusively are true. If so, I’d be it put a smile on the face of the Irishman who loves to fight. Being part Irish and English (amongst other things), I’m NOT getting into geography here.

– Amidst the chaos distracting the ref, Edge’s spear is deflected off McGillicutty, then Kane enters and chokeslams Edge, which provides Otunga an easy pin. I enjoyed this match, since it is the perfect final match outcome to build Kane/Edge at Survivor Series. Otunga was passable here. At best.

– * IC Title Match: Dolph Ziggler {C} vs. MVP. I get bored during the initial segment, then become reminded that two of Bored Wrestling Fan’s founders ThinkSoJoE and J.T. will celebrate Birthdays upon date of this… umm…. publication? Can I call this rubbish that? Either way, happy birthday gentlemen!

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!

– We return from commercials to restholds. Damn, this match is slow moving… We see a few bursts of offense here and there, very “cookie cutter” moves going on… Dolph lands the “Zig Zag” DDT thingy and pins MVP. MVP had his foot under the rope though. A controversial title loss means the feud will likely continue. I can’t say I want to see any more of these two for a while. Yawn…

– I love how Kane always seems to find an area of every venue where the lighting is red. Is it standard policy for all buildings to have a red light section? Huh… Anyways we see Kane find the URN! No Paul Bearer, and the urn’s lid is off and appears empty. Hey, we all get a chocolate milk craving once in a while.

– Cody Rhodes comes out to boos. He says he doesn’t get it, as “their nations are friends.” Then rips on the British inadvertently, then plays off the poor teeth stereotype (hygiene gimmick), etc. Then we see the “How to Floss” rerun episode with Dashing Cody Rhodes. Should’ve skipped this segment…

– * Non-Title Match: Kane {C} vs. The Big Show. God help me. There is no way I am watching this in real time. SLOW AND PLODDING. And it looks like they might get 20 minutes of broadcast time… 2/5 FFW speed to start off this “viewing experience” that is our main event!! 🙁

– It’s not good. But before our commercials, we see Paul Bearer tied up in a chair, muffled crying out to Kane on a TV in a darkened room. Ohh… A kidnapping!

HAXOR!!! I guess… who the fuck kidnapped Paul Bearer? Nexus? Edge?

– The second segment of this match remains best viewed on a 2/5 setting. Maybe higher. Maybe skip through it. I take one for the team, and suffer through this crap in real time for the sake of this “review.” If you’re biased towards the acrobatics and agility based wrestlers like myself, and are watching this match, you are in hell. GAWD!! Kane at least lands a punch from the top ropes… no pin…

– Edge abducted Paul Bearer. He comes out and slices sarcastically into Kane’s “Daddy Issues.” Ha haha ha hahaha. Saved the main event, did Edge… who taunts tossing the chair Bearer is tied into off the stage, which allows Big Show to capitalize on the distraction. Your winner in an abysmal event is Show. “Paul, say goodbye to your son,” states Edge sadistically as he wheels off Bearer…

– The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

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Random Morphine Reference:

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This week, Cosmonaut G made a special appearance on the Wonderpod podcast (episode 42). If you haven’t checked out this show, it’s about video games, the industry and the culture of gaming. It’s far less pretentious than some of the other bloggers/podcasters, and as a result is a fun listen. Think of it as the ROH of the videogame podcast world. Check it out! For those of you (like me), who prefer to subscribe to these things on iTunes, that link is here.

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Shameless Plugs!

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Bored Wrestling Fan
A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s political humour comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here

Project Wonderboy
A site dedicated to pop culture and media. From film to video games, MMA to hockey, and so forth.

Morphine Nation
An off-the-cuff, non-PC humour website. Originally founded by Destructoid’s Jim Sterling, the Morphine Nation provides a haven for content and criticism.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, and Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”).

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

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