Sorry I’m late!

Your friendly neighborhood Drowgoddess was actually in attendance at this week’s tapings for ECW, “Superstars,” and “Smackdown.” Our seats were on the second level, just to the left of the TitanTron, with excellent views of the ring. The Toyota Center is a great venue for wrestling because there really aren’t any bad seats. Even the nosebleeds are good.

We open with Batista on the mic. I’m playing catch-up here, but he was booed a lot. He said he was born to be World Heavyweight Champion, it wasn’t about the fans or Rey Mysterio or the Undertaker, it was about him. He was booed less for being evil, and more because he talked about Rey and Taker. Hey, it was in Houston, what did you expect?

Match #1: CM Punk & Luke Gallows vs. Matt Hardy & R-Truth: After Punk and Gallows enter, Punk has the mic. Trying to recap this gloriousness is useless, just find it and watch it. NOW!!! Suffice to say that he trashes the new Jeff Hardy dvd and stomps all over it. R-Truth and Matt Hardy enter, and Matt has a bag. As R-Truth raps, Hardy passes out free Jeff Hardy dvds to the kids. Punk continues to talk over all this. “Do not accept this dvd! You are peddling poison! Do not watch this dvd! Sell it on Ebay, do not watch the dvd!” I was laughing so hard throughout that all the little kids around me stared. R-Truth is HUUUGE over with the kids. It was actually rather cute, watching them jump up and down and shout “What’s up?” Truth nails Punk in the head with his mic before the bell rings. Punk and Truth start, and Truth knocks Punk over the top rope to the floor. Back from commercial break, Punk gets double-teamed by Hardy and Truth. Gallows tags in and goes after Truth, and uses his power to beat him down. Punk tags in and works over Truth’s neck. Gallows tags in again, and gets Truth in a bear hug. The crowd rallies behind Truth as he fights out. Matt Striker is the God of Wrestling Commentary, period. Punk tags in, and revels in the hate directed at him. Truth hits Punk with a drop kick, and tags in Matt. Matt gets a two-count on Punk, and follows up with a jumping powerbomb. A Twist of Fate is countered into a GTS, and again into a successful Twist of Fate. Gallows tags in, kicks Matt in the face, and drops him with the Twelfth Step for the win.

Winners: CM Punk & Luke Gallows

To the back! Eric Escobar argues with Vickie Guerrero in Spanish. Theodore Long is there. Escobar insults Vickie repeatedly, and she orders Long to have him go to the ring and fight Chris Jericho at once. The people who spoke Spanish cheered this bit a lot.

To the backstage area! Mike Knox and Kane cross paths. Knox says that they are the same. He enjoyed fighting Kane last week, and would like to do it again. Kane takes exception to this, but agrees that fighting Knox again would be good. 

Match #2: Eric Escobar vs. Chris Jericho: Escobar gets a lot of flak on the internet for being a cheap rip-off of Razor Ramon, but I disagree. He’s really not that bad, and his entrance music is really fun. Why it was muted on tv, I don’t know. Jericho enters to loud cheers that turn into boos shortly. Escobar actually holds his own against Jericho for a few minutes. “EXCUSE ME!!!” Vickie Guerrero enters, and informs Escobar that she forgot to mention that this was a handicapped match. Cue the Big Show’s entrance music. Show squashes Escobar, and Jericho locks him in the Walls of Jericho. Escobar has no choice but to tap. Vickie applauds and looks pleased. Post-match, Jericho gets a mic. He guarantees the end of DX, and the demise of the DX Army. TLC is about eradicating DX.

Winner(s): Chris Jericho & Big Show

To the back! Drew McIntyre strides with purpose through the back corridor. Boy, does he look angry about something.

To the ring! Drew McIntyre is not amused. Why is it that Vince McMahon personally signed him and proclaimed him a future World champion, and he isn’t on the cover of Vince’s own publication? John Morrison is. John Morrison, whom McIntyre defeated last week. We see a replay of the ending of last week’s match between them. Why does everyone believe in John Morrison? Because he’s an American, and McIntyre is Scottish? Because Morrison does the odd flip ot two? After TLC, Morrison won’t be “tomorrow’s champion. He won’t be a champion at all. Cue the bagpipe music! It’s John Morrison! Dressed in a kilt, painted up with wode, sporting a sword and a shield. Oh. My. God. This was so funny live, silly though it was. This is another exchange that has to be seen. It’s worth it. Morrison, Scottish accent and all, takes McIntyre to task for insulting William Wallace, and asks why McIntyre thinks that being proclaimed a future champion by a senile old man meant anything. Morrison actually nicked his forehead on the sword at one point, you can see the blood on tv. McIntyre actually backs off, as if the sword is not only real, but that Morrison would be able to effectively use it against him. It’s the little things like that that made this segment work. At TLC, McIntyre may take his life, but he will never take his Intercontinental championship! Morrison and McIntyre come to blows, and McIntyre bails over the barricade into the audience. It’ll be ok, Drew. Come over here and let’s work off some of that tension… Huh? Oh, sorry. I’m back now.

Match #3: Kane vs. Mike Knox:    Seriously, I don’t care how many times I see it. Kane’s pyro when he raises his arms in the ring is amazing. This version of Mike Knox is so vastly superior to the previous incarnation. These two are all about the power game, and it’s a very solid “big man” match. Knox hits his huge crossbody, but Kane kicks out at 2 1/2. Kane succeeds with a chokeslam, and gets the pin.

Winner: Kane

To the “DX shills their merch” segment! Hornswaggle turns up. That’s all you’re getting out of me.

Match #4: Mickie James & Maria vs. Michelle McCool & Layla: So we have the team of “CM Punk’s Ex-Girlfriends” vs. the team of “Chicks who Lost Diva Search.” Now THAT would be awesome. Mickie was super over, and no one really cared about the heels at all. Layla, at least, seems to have a vague idea about how to work a crowd. This match was pretty lackluster unless Mickie was in, and Layla actually carried the match for her team. Shouldn’t the champion be capable of that? I’m just sayin’. Maria and McCool start. Layla and McCool double-team Maria in the corner, as Mickie tries to help. McCool bails and tags in Layla. Mickie tags in and takes a shot at McCool. Mickie throws Layla into McCool, then rolls up Layla for the pin. Post-match, McCool is furious at Layla. Did I mention that there was no response whatsoever to Michelle McCool? Yeah.

Winners: Mickie James & Maria

To the RAW Rebound! Mark Cuban’s highlights from Monday. The guy was by far the most enthusiastic guest host, and the most well-versed in the subject. He shouldn’t have been able to knock Sheamus down, but everything else was great. Some strong last-minute pimping of TLC on Sunday. I’m genuinely more interested in this ppv than any WWE ppv in recent memory, and I haven’t bought anything besides Mania in ages.

Match #5: Rey Mysterio vs. Batista: This is a street fight, and Batista’s “hold harmless” agreement is in effect. I don’t know what’s different about tv, but the deafening, roof-shaking response to Rey didn’t come through. Seriously, Rey is revered as a god in Houston, and he was treated accordingly. On tv, it doesn’t sound like much. Batista enters, and again, he really seemed to be booed more because he was going against Rey than because of himself. Batista hurls Rey into each corner, and Rey is totally dominated. Batista holds Rey down, grinding his elbow into Rey’s face, but Rey kicks out. Much is made of Mysterio’s asking for this match. Rey knocks Batista down, and a 619 looks all but imminent. Batista moves to the floor, and Rey uses his speed to dodge and play “in and out of the ring” for a moment. Rey sends Batista into the barricade with a dropkick. Batista dodges Rey’s leap from the top ropes, and kicks Rey in the face. He throws Rey shoulder-first into the steps with a loud crash. Batista follows up with bending Rey’s back across the ringpost. Back in the ring, Batista locks in a rear chinlock, and stomps on Rey. Rey fights back, but Batista drops him with a clothesline. Batista gets a chair, and goes for a Batista Bomb onto the chair, but Rey fights out and hits a dropped toe hold onto the chair. Rey finally hits the 619! The crowd goes insane. Batista kicks out. Rey takes the chair and hits Batista in the legs repeatedly with it. Batista spears Rey through the chair, and follows up with a spinebuster. One chair shot to the head later, Batista gets the pin and three-count.

Winner: Batista

Post-match, Batista places Rey’s neck in the opened chair. The live chants of “Undertaker!” couldn’t really be heard here. Taker was the only person with pop bigger than Rey’s, and it should have been audible. Taker and Batista start to go, but Taker grabs the chair and Batista bails. Taker makes flames pour from the entrance ramp, blocking Batista’s exit. The heat from those flames was unbelievably intense! Taker made the throat-cutting gesture at Batista, and “Smackdown” ends.

Well, not quite.

The dark main event was Undertaker defending the World Heavyweight Championship title against – CM Punk! Punk gets his second entrance of the evening. Punk played the chickens**t heel to the hilt, constantly bailing to the floor and even trying to “go Old School” on Taker. Taker eventually succeeds in doing it himself, which got a huge reaction. Punk had Taker backed into the corner, but Taker countered with the Last Ride for the pin and win. Though the outcome was never in doubt, it was a good match. All in all, I was very pleased with the value I got for my entertainment dollar. We got about four hours of wrestling, with the tapings for this week’s ECW, “Superstars,” and “Smackdown” all at once. I’m really psyched for the TLC ppv, and I can’t remember the last time that that was said about a WWE ppv. Catch you next week!

Peace out,



  1. I wish we'd get SmackDown in Buffalo. We're always stuck with RAW – which is funny, because a few years back I recall complaining that we always got SmackDown. I guess whatever the crap show is at the time is what we get.

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