Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ SmackDown review – 1/23/09

What’s up, folks?  An inexplicably tired ThinkSoJoE here with you after a short nap to review the blue brand’s go home show before the Royal Rumble.  Triple H has been ordered by SmackDown General Manager Vickie Guerrero to face the Moscow Mauler Vladimir Kozlov tonight, and WWE Champion Jeff Hardy, who was burned in a pyrotechnics accident at the close of last week’s broadcast, giving us an update on his condition just two days before his title defense against the Rated R Superstar, Edge!

SmackDown results, after the jump!

SmackDown kicks off with a quick recap of Jeff Hardy’s crazy last couple of weeks, including getting sideswiped in a car accident and then getting blown up in the pyro last week on his way out for an interview on The Cutting Edge.

JR informs us that Jeff is battered, bruised and burned.  Tazz said that they’ve discovered that foul play was involved.  JR sat down with Jeff earlier in the week, and we’re going to see that interview later on tonight.  But first…

The Rated R Superstar makes his way to the ring.  He takes a microphone, and he says that he had nothing to do with what happened to Jeff Hardy last week.  If the incidents turn out to be more than mere incidents, Edge had nothing to do with it.  He admires Jeff for agreeing to still face him at the Rumble – which could be the greatest mistake of his life.  He’ll pay for that mistake with the WWE Championship.  Edge doesn’t want Jeff to have any excuses, because a true champion never makes excuses.  A true champion overcomes all obstacles.  Being a true champion is about sacrifice.  Let’s face it, Edge wasn’t behind any of these incidents, because he doesn’t need to do those things to beat Jeff Hardy.  As he’s talking Matt Hardy runs down and attacks him, chasing him out through the crowd.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Last week, MVP defended Triple H’s Royal Rumble spot against The Big Show in a Last Man Standing match, and actually f*#&ing won!  Thanks to Triple H, of course.  Later on, Triple H will take on Vladimir Kozlov.  But for now…

The United States Champion doesn’t even get an entrance on this show.

GONG….  GONG….

Oh, that explains it.  The Undertaker is going to kill about 15 minutes getting to the ring.  Insert-supreme-being-here forbid that we cut part of The Undertaker’s entrance to give one of our titles a hint of credibility by letting the Champion get a TV entrance.

The Undertaker def. Shelton Benjamin via submission.

These guys actually didn’t have too bad of a match recently, and they’re both so talented in the ring that I don’t expect them to disappoint here.  I also don’t expect Shelton to win.  Taker controls this one early, looking dominant.  He goes for Old School early, but Benjamin won’t let him get to the top before firing away at the Phenom.  He can’t get anything going though, and ‘Taker takes back over – until he goes for a big boot in the corner.  Benjamin moved out of the way, and Undertaker goes over the top rope and to the floor.  Benjamin attacks from the ring apron then goes straight after the dead man, throwing aggressive strikes and using the ring and guardrail to his advantage.  The Gold Standard gets a two count off of a suplex, and despite a quick strike from The Undertaker after the kickout, Benjamin gets right back on the attack.  Taker starts to battle back, and the two men start to throw fists.  ‘Taker wins that battle, and hits a pair of clotheslines with Benjamin up against the turnbuckle.  Undertaker goes for Old School again, but Benjamin kicks his leg out from under him, crotching him on the top turnbuckle.  Benjamin drops the dead man with a superplex but only scores a two count.  Benjamin goes on the offensive but finds himself goozled by The Undertaker, but reverses the chokeslam into an impaler DDT and got a very near fall.  Benjamin goes for Pay Dirt, but ‘Taker blocks it and catches an incoming Benjamin kick, but The Gold Standard hits the Dragon Whip kick instead.  As Benjamin starts firing away at a downed Undertaker, The Phenom locks in the Devil’s Gate (yes, they renamed it again) for the submission victory.  Great match!

The great Khali is in action – NEXT!  Still to come, an interview with Jeff Hardy

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Umaga is returning to SmackDown – eventually.

Chavo Guerrero doesn’t get an entrance, and doesn’t look happy.  Hey, he’s got a microphone, maybe we’ll find out why!  Triple H thinks Chavo’s a gopher, everybody’s been calling him a gopher – he is not a gopher (ThinkSoJoE Note (with all due respect to the late Owen Hart:  He’s a black heart, dammit!  A winner!  A sole survivor!  WOO!).  He’s a go-getter!  He’s a Guerrero, a Mexican Warrior.  When Vickie has a problem, she comes to Chavo, because he’ll handle it.  He’s got nothing but love and appreciation for his Aunt Vickie.  The Great Khali is trying to embarass the Guerreros?  Chavo doesn’t think so.  Khali’s cool new theme music, “Land of Five Rivers” hits, and he makes his way out with Ranjin Singh.

The Great Khali def. Chavo Guerrero

Chavito fires off kicks to the leg of The Great Khali to kick things off, but Khali just picks him up by the arm and drops him to the canvas.  He hits a horrible looking short arm clothesline, but Chavo moves out of the way of a Khali big boot.  Chavo tries for the leg again, but Khali takes him right back down.  Khali drops Guerrero with the Punjabi Plunge and covers Chavo with one foot to pick up the victory as the crowd chants “one more time.”

Back in Vickie Guerrero’s office, Edge says that Matt Hardy is out of control.  Vickie says she’s got things under control and that tonight, Edge will face Matt in a no disqualification match.  Edge ponders that Vickie thinks he had something to do with Jeff Hardy’s accident last week.  She says that all she knows is that he’d better man up.

Still to come, we’ll take a look at the incident at the end of RAW this past Monday involving Mr. McMahon and Randy Orton.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

That song, “Let It Rock” that’s the theme song for the Royal Rumble PPV decidedly does not rock.  It’s on Kid’s Bop for f&*#’s sake!

The WWE Divas Champion makes her way out to ringside, where she joins Tazz and JR on commentary.  The Bella Twins follow her out.  One of them is apparently in action against Michelle McCool, who we’re reminded has destroyed a few other Divas over the past few weeks.

Michelle McCool & Natalya def. The Bella Twins via Disqualification – or maybe it was a no contest.  I have no clue.

For some reason, while one of the Bella Twins is in the ring with Michelle – wait a minute – Natalya’s out there!  It’s a tag team match!  Not that it matters, Maria attacks Michelle, earning a DQ victory for Michelle and Natalya.

Maria assaults Michelle, but that doesn’t last long before Michelle turns it around and slams Maria into the guardrail and leaving her lying.

A very special interview with Jeff Hardy is up next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

JR sat down with Jeff Hardy earlier this week.  JR shows a clip of Jeff’s pyro accident.  JR’s surprised Jeff wanted this interview, since he hasn’t said anything about it yet.  Jeff says he respects JR.  Last Friday wasn’t an accident, and he knows who it was.  JR confirms that the pyro was tampered with.  JR brings up the car accident.  Jeff says it wasn’t an accident, and neither was his assault before Survivor Series.  He knows Edge is behind it, and he failed to take Jeff out, much like he’s going to fail to take the WWE Championship from him this Sunday.  Jeff’s been an outcast to everybody except himself.  Edge will never stop what drives Jeff.  Jeff isn’t afraid.  Is Edge?

Speaking of Edge, the number one contender to the WWE Championshipis on his way to the ring for a no disqualification match against Jeff’s brother Matt.  That match is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

We’re treated to another Vladimir Kozlov training video when we come back.  I like these, they really put over how tough the guy is.

Edge had to sit through commercials and a Vladimir Kozlov hype video, and now he’s gotta wait for the former ECW Champion to walk to the ring.

Edge def. Matt Hardy

Matt wasted no time in going after the Rated R Superstar.  He slams Edge’s head off of the announce table, and then off of the guardrail before rolling him back in the ring.  It’s all Matt Hardy, who hits a Side Effect and doesn’t go for a cover, instead opting to continue his assault.  Edge knocks Matt to the outside, but Hardy moves out of the way of a baseball slide.  He pulls up the padding outside of the ring, but Edge fights him off before he can slam him onto it.  Hardy, however, continues his dominance, grabbing a trash can with a kendo stick in it from under the ring (where there is also a monitor, which means a possible Hornswoggle or Boogeyman appearance later on), but Edge gets the trash can and thwacks Matt with it – and then the lid.  Instead of a cover, though, Edge throws a few shots.  The two battle over the Kendo stick, with Matt winning the fight, nailing Edge with it.  Edge sends Hardy crashing into the steel post and grabs a chair, but misses, hitting the post instead.  Edge’s head gets bounced off of the steel steps, and then he’s whipped into the other set.  Mark Henry runs out to try and attack Hardy, but Hardy hits a drop toehold, sending Henry face first into the ring apron.  Hardy drops Edge with a Twist of Fate, but before he can pin him, Jack Swagger attacks Hardy, dropping him with the Gutwrench Powerbomb.  Mark Henry drops Matt with the World’s Strongest Slam, and Edge instructs the two men to pick Matt up.  Edge drops Hardy with the spear, and the cover is academic.

Surprisingly, we’re then treated to a special look at Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler.  I even saw an ROH logo in the background!  Wow!

Still to come, Triple H takes on Vladimir Kozlov.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

I cannot wait until the Royal Rumble is over.  Then the only time I’ll ever have to hear that stupid “Let It Rock” song is in the Kids Bop commercials when I’m watching Nickelodeon.

Miz, Morrison, two title belts, and two slammy awards make their way to the ring.  Their opponents also have a pair of title belts with them, the WWE Tag Team Champions, Carlito and Primo!  We’ve got World Tag Team Champions taking on WWE Tag Team Champions!  AWESOME!

Miz and Carlito kick things off with Miz on the offense.  Carlito turns it around and tags in Primo, and the WWE Tag Team Champions hit a nice little double team move.  Miz battles back against Primo and tags in John Morrison.  Primo uses his athleticism to his advantage, then tags in Carlito, who continues the offense – until he misses a move in the corner and crotches himself, allowing Morrison to get the tag in to The Miz.  Miz locks in a rear chinlock, but Carlito battles out.  Miz ducks out of the way of a springboard moonsault by Carlito, who dives over to tag his brother in.  Miz hits a pretty cool looking bulldog into the turnbuckle on Primo, and sends us to…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The Miz & John Morrison def. Primo & Carlito in a non-title match

Morrison is working over Primo when we come back, and tags in The Miz, who continues the assault.  The World Tag Team Champions trap Primo in their corner and use frequent tags to their advantage – Gorilla Monsoon would be proud.  Miz and Primo both think clothesline, taking each other down in a big explosion before getting the tags to their respective partners.  Carlito comes in with a burst of energy, getting a two count before Miz breaks it up.  Things get chaotic from here.  Morrison hits the springboard kick, but Primo breaks up the pin attempt.  Morrison rolls up Carlito for two, reversed into a rollup by Carlito for two.  Morrison goes for the Moonlight Drive, but Carlito reverses, sending Morrison into his own corner, where The Miz makes a blind tag.  Carlito drops Morrison with the backstabber, but it didn’t matter, since Morrison wasn’t the legal man.  Miz comes in and rolls up Carlito for the surprise pinfall!

Shocking footage from Monday Night RAW is up next!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

This past Monday on RAW, Randy Orton nearly kicked Mr. McMahon’s head off.

We then get a rundown of the Royal Rumble card, set to that horrible, horrible song from the Kids Bop cd.

Main event time!  The Moscow Mauler makes his way to the ring.  His theme song, “Pain,” is available on “Voices:  WWE The Music Volume 9.”  He’s in action, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  (Apparently, the guys who are doing the Friday the 13th remake are the same guys that did the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.  Apparently, these guys haven’t heard of that thing called “creativity.”)

WWE Slam of the Week:  Last week, MVP’s losing streak ended when Triple H knocked The Big Show out with a Sledgehammer.

It’s time to play the game…  TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

Triple H makes his way to the ring as Vladimir Kozlov awaits him in the ring.  The referee holds the massive Russian back as Trips spits water and poses on the ropes.

Vladimir Kozlov & The Big Show def. Triple H in a handicap match

Kozlov wastes no time going after The Game, but it backfires as Triple H takes control and goes for an early Pedigree.  Kozlov turns it around, and we’ve got a good back and forth match going on here on SmackDown.  Kozlov tries to ram Triple H into the steel post, but Trips gets out and shoves Kozlov in instead…

EXCUSE ME!  EXCUSE ME!

Vickie Guerrero doesn’t mean to interrupt, but she forgot something.  This isn’t a one on one match.  Nope, there’s somebody missing.  Somebody who knocked Trips out cold a couple weeks back.  This is a handicap match, featuring Triple H taking on Vladimir Kozlov and his partner, The Big Show.  This main event will continue, when we come back!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Triple H is holding his own with The Big Show when we come back, using a stick and move strategy.  The Game takes Show down with a forearm to the back of the head, but Show spears H-cubed to the ground.  Kozlov gets the tag in, and The Game shows off his resilliency to hold his own.  Kozlov brings Triple H over to his corner, where he tags in The Big Show.  Show dominates, beating Triple H from pillar to post.  Show hits a legdrop on the Cerebral Assassin for a two count, before tagging in Kozlov.  The Game starts to fight back, but Kozlov catches him coming in and hits a fallaway slam and tags The Big Show back in.  Show takes Trips down, and climbs the ropes for a Vaderbomb, but The Game moves out of the way.  The crowd starts to get behind The King of Kings, but he jumps straight into a Big Show chokeslam – which only puts Hunter down for a two count!  Show tags Kozlov, who goes for a running powerslam, but it’s reversed into a DDT by The Game.  Trips hits a spinebuster on Kozlov, ducks out of the way of an incoming Big Show, and goes for a Pedigree on Kozlov, but gets punched in the back of the head by The Big Show.  One big slam from Kozlov, and The Game is down for three.

My Thoughts: What, no big brawl in the middle of the ring to pump us up for the Rumble?  Other than talking about it, there wasn’t a lot of hype for the Rumble match itself.  The big story, of course, should be the match between Jeff Hardy and Edge, which got some airtime, but the main event featured Triple H, The Big Show, and Vladimir Kozlov, who are all in the Rumble match.  It wasn’t an over the top rope deal, and there wasn’t a mass of humanity at the end of it with bodies flying left and right like you’d expect in the go-home show before the Rumble.  Oh well, whatever.  It was a pretty good episode of SmackDown, highlighted by the Shelton Benjamin-Undertaker rematch and the non-title match between the two sets of Tag Team Champions.  Jeff Hardy’s promo was pretty cool, too.  He sells it like he knows it’s Edge behind things, which will leave the inevitable reveal of who’s been behind the attacks to be a huge shock to casual fans.

JT should be around sometime over the weekend with another edition of Random Randomness, and I’ll be here with my Rumble predictions sometime on Sunday.  We’ll get a review in sometime before RAW on Monday, and given my work schedule next week, I have no idea what we’re doing from there.

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