Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ SmackDown review – 3/6/09

I don’t know what’s planned for tonight’s SmackDown, and I don’t really care.  I’m ready for action, so lets dive right into the review!

After the jump, of course.

This past Monday on RAW, Edge retained his World Championship when John Cena got himself disqualified.  Then much to everybody’s shock, Vickie Guerrero announced The Big Show as the number one contender heading into WrestleMania.

The SmackDown intro video plays, the pyro goes off, and Good Ol’ JR welcomes us to the Mohegan Sun Resort and Casino.  Later on tonight, we’ve got a contract signing between Edge and The Big Show, and Triple H has Umaga in one on one competition.  But first…

The bell tolls, the lights go out, and the WWE’s Phenom, the Undertaker makes his way out to the ring.  This past Monday, Shawn Michaels defeated Vladimir Kozlov and has earned a chance to face The Undertaker at WrestleMania.

Undertaker says that for most of his existence, others have chosen to stay clear of his path.  He was the one in pursuit of the hunt and staking the claim, but times have changed – and that angers ‘Taker.  “The Streak.”  The streak is something he never speaks of, it just happens that WrestleMania is the night he’s chosen to show everybody what The Undertaker represents, yet there seems to be a desire to feed their egos and their lust.  Endless souls try to make a name for themselves at ‘Taker’s expense, and he takes that as an insult.  Shawn Michaels – the Undertaker accepts your challenge for WrestleMania.  We then get a WrestleMania/HBK video package.  ‘Taker says it’s very clever, but he’s chosen the wrong person to play mind games with.  For sixteen WrestleManias they have come, and for sixteen WrestleManias they have fallen, and HBK’s fate will be no different.  He claims to have made peace within, but the time for prayer has just begun.  On April 5th, he’ll truly show him that sometimes it’s hell getting to heaven.

Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy will be in separate Money In The Bank qualifying matches later on tonight.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WrestleMania Moment: WrestleMania III set an indoor attendance record that still stands to this day, and Hulk Hogan defeated the previously unbeaten Andre The Giant.

Vickie Guerrero is telling somebody on the phone that she hasn’t heard from Edge since Monday.  Jeff Hardy comes into her office.  She asks him one more time if he’s sure he doesn’t want to face Matt.  Jeff says no, and she reminds him that Matt cost him the WWE Championship.  Jeff says he’s not going to fight Matt, he’s going to go to WrestleMania and win the Money In The Bank ladder match, and he might cash it in later in the night and become World Heavyweight Champion.

Speaking of the Money in the Bank match, the briefcase is hanging above the ring, and “The Black Cloud” Matt Hardy makes his way to the ring for his qualifying match.  But first, he takes a microphone.  So Jeff doesn’t want to fight him, huh?  Once again, it’s because Jeff is running from his problems, but he can’t run from Matt.  If Jeff wants to qualify for Money in the Bank, so does Matt, and when they both get there, Matt will finally get his hands on Jeff at WrestleMania, and he’ll destroy him, along with the six other competitors, and he’ll win the Money in the Bank briefcase, and when he chooses, he’ll cash it in and become a World Champion.  MVP makes his way out, and we’ve got a qualifying match on our hands.

MVP def. Matt Hardy to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match

MVP’s on a winning streak.  Matt Hardy’s on a collision course with brother Jeff.  Guess who’s going to win this match.  In the end, MVP rolls through a Twist of Fate attempt by Hardy and gets the pinfall.

Still to come – Triple H vs. Umaga, Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin, and the Edge vs. Big Show contract signing.

WrestleMania: 30 days away!

JR seems to think the AC/DC song is called “Super Thrill,” despite the fact that it’s called “Shoot To Thrill.”  I guess that’s another one to add to the “Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza” database.

And now, the Dirt Sheet!  The Miz and Morrison dress up as Primo and Carlito – with butts for faces.  Next week, Miz and Morrison will put their titles on the line against the WWE Tag Team Champions, Primo and Carlito.

Michelle is joining JR and Tazz on commentary.  Maryse makes her way to the ring, and we’re reminded of her attack on Melina this past Monday on RAW.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Umaga takes on Triple H later on tonight, but right now, Eve is on the way to the ring to face Maryse.

Maryse def. Eve

What the hell is the point of this match?  Eve is not going to beat the WWE Diva’s Champion.  Shame on you for even thinking it.  Maryse drops her with a DDT and it’s over.

Melina runs to the ring and attacks Maryse, but she’s taken out by Michelle McCool, who is the only Diva left standing when it’s all said and done.

Up next, it’s a contract signing!  That’s exciting television, folks.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vickie Guerrero is glad she gets to preside over the contract signing for the World Heavyweight Championship match at WrestleMania – and she’s also cut off by Edge’s music.  Edge wants to know what’s going on with her and The Big Show.  Vickie says it’s strictly business.  Edge says it seems like more than that.  She says she would never embarass him.  He asks why she chose the Big Show over everybody else.  Big Show’s music hits and he comes to the ring.  Show says that the truth is that Edge isn’t a good champion.  He takes shortcuts and survives by the skin of his teeth.  On the other hand, Show is dominant.  He’s worthy of being called World Heavyweight Champion.  Vickie knows it.  There’s something going on between he and Vickie – but it’s strictly business.  She knows Show is a better champion than Edge.  Show signs the contract, and tells Edge he’s going to beat him.  Edge asks Vickie if it’s true, because if that’s the case, he apologizes.  He doesn’t know how to break it to Big Show, but that schtick doesn’t work on the 8 time World Champion.  He’s been winning championships since he got into the WWE.  He’s more talented, faster, and smarter than The Big Show.  That must be why Vickie chose Show – Edge can beat him.  Edge is more of a man than Show will ever be.  Show tells him to sign the contract, and we’ll find out.  Edge says “with pleasure,” but before he can put pen to paper, John Cena’s music hits, and the former World Heavyweight Champion is here!  He low blows Show, takes a shot at Edge, hits show with the World Championship, then turns his attention back to Edge, throwing the table at him before turning towards Vickie Guerrero.  He whispers something in her ear, and she becomes visibly upset.  Cena’s music hits and he leaves as quickly as he arrived.

Later on, Triple H takes on Umaga, but next, we’ll re-re-reveal the next inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Before the break, John Cena interrupted the contract signing for the World Heavyweight Championship match.

WWE Hall of Fame: “Cowboy” Bill Watts

Back in Vickie Guerrero’s office, Edge is asking Vickie to excert some kind of authority over John Cena, who keeps sticking his nose in Edge’s business.  Edge wants to sign the contract right now, but Vickie, hesitantly, suggests he sign it next week on RAW before breaking down in tears.

Up next, Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin in MITB qualifying competition!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WrestleMania Moment: WrestleMania 21

Jeff Hardy makes his way out for his MITB qualifier.  The United States Champion hits the ring and we’re underway.

Shelton Benjamin def. Jeff Hardy via disqualification to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match

Benjamin is ALWAYS in Money In The Bank, and Matt Hardy didn’t qualify earlier in the night.  Hmm.  I wonder what’ll happen here.  As soon as I got around to typing that, Matt Hardy made his way to the ring, then stepped into it when Jeff hit the Twist of Fate on Shelton.  Rather than hit his brother, however, Matt nails Shelton in the face, earning Jeff the DQ.

The Hardys stand face to face, Matt looking intense, and Jeff looking upset.  Matt turns his back, then leaves without further incident.

RAW Last Monday: Orton challenged Triple H for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.

Triple H takes on Umaga later tonight.  But before we get back to wrestling on this show, let’s check out the trailer for John Cena’s new movie!

Triple H’s music rings out through the arena, and the WWE Champion makes his way to the ring.  On a related note, I think this is the first time I’ve actually seen him with the belt since he won the damned thing three weeks ago.  He’s wrestling UMAGA~! after the break!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

UMAGA~! makes his way to the ring, and we’re set for main event action!

Triple H vs. Umaga ends in a no contest

So let’s see if I understand this.  Triple H, who hasn’t wrestled since No Way Out a few weeks back and is in the middle of a war with Randy Orton, has his first match in a while – and it’s not against a member of Legacy?  That’s sort of different.  Not that different is a bad thing.  Triple H clotheslines Umaga out of the ring, and Umaga seems to tweak his knee.  Legacy come through the crowd and surround Triple H.  Rhodes and DiBiase attacks, and Orton joins in the fray.  Triple H sees it as his opportunity to get his hands on Orton, but the numbers game finally catches up to him.  DiBiase and Rhodes hold Triple H up the way that Batista and Flair held Orton up years ago for Triple H.  He says that he’s not done with him, and that he remembers.  Orton boots Triple H a few more times, followed by boots from Rhodes and DiBiase.  Orton backs up team Priceless, then kneels down beside a fallen Game.  He then stands up, symbolically standing above a beaten down Triple H.  Orton is hesitant to leave the ring, when he sees Triple H crawling toward him.  The Game collapses to the canvas once more, and Orton smiles maniacally at him as the show comes to a close.

My Thoughts: What the hell was the point of Orton attacking Triple H just four days after saying that Triple H can’t attack him if he doesn’t get attacked by him first.  Great, give him a reason to hit you.  Makes perfect sense.  Yup.

What the hell does Matt Hardy have to do to get his brother to fight him?  Stay tuned.

The Colons are going to face Miz and Morrison for Miz and Morrison’s World Tag Team Championship next week.  Guess what – you can pretty much guess who will win that one.  Those titles are staying separate until WrestleMania.  Luckily Vince Russo isn’t booking, otherwise it would probably be in a Bella Twins on a Pole match.  Hey, speaking of Vince Russo, we own the domain name vincerussowatcheshisbeardgrow.com and are currently waiting for the DNS servers to propogate.  Yes, we stole the idea from the latest induction over at WrestleCrap.com.

Word on the street is that there’s going to be a huge Diva’s battle royal at ‘Mania.  I wonder if the two champions, Maryse and Melina will be involved, or if either title will be on the line in that if they are.

Hmm.  I wonder what John Cena said to Vickie Guerrero to make her so upset.  While it’s obvious they’re going with the Triple Threat, it will be interesting to see on Monday what reasoning they come up with.

Alright, I’m tired folks, I’m out.  Goodnight, and don’t forget to come back at noon eastern for a look at WWE’s Unforgiven Pay Per View!

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