Home ▸ Drowgoddess ▸ “Smackdown” Sentiments, 12/4/09

Wow.

This is different. I shall now be covering “Smackdown,” for your collective reading enjoyment, in case you haven’t heard. “Smackdown” Sentiments may not be a great title, bit at the moment, it’s all I have. How will it go? Let’s see!

We open with a recap of last Friday’s main event, Chris Jericho versus the Undertaker. Batista looks on. Batista attacks Taker with a chair. Animal smashes Dead Man.

We’re in Hampton, Virginia, and nine days away from the TLC ppv. Tonight, Undertaker calls out Batista. Right now, however, it’s everybody’s favorite straight-edge savior, CM Punk and his new follower, the former Festus, now known as Luke Gallows! Have I mentioned how much I love this gimmick? Festus was never retarded. He was just really, really high. If you aren’t into this, you have no soul!

Match #1: CM Punk (w/ Luke Gallows) vs. R-Truth: I concede that he’s quite popular, but I’ve never been a fan of R-Truth. He can entertain, for certain, but he’s not my cup of tea. Truth dances and dodges as Punk attacks. Truth ends up in the corner, pounded by Punk. This is by far my favorite announce team going right now, by the way. Truth covers Punk for a two-count. Truth works the arm and shoulder of Punk. Punk takes control as we go to commercial break. Upon our return, Punk is stomping Truth. Punk works Truth’s arm and kicks him in the back. CM Punk looks more like Christian Bale all the time, particularly with the facial hair. Truth tries to fight back with punches, but Punk continues to work the arm. Punk’s “ground and pound attack” succeeds. Punk announces, “I can save everybody!” as he prepares to suplex Truth. Truth fights out and hits Punk with a top rope missile drop kick. Truth runs into the ropes to set up something, but Luke Gallows grabs his feet and pulls him from the ring. The referee throws the match out due to the interference of Gallows, but Punk and Gallows aren’t through. Punk directs traffic as Gallows destroys Truth. Punk removes Gallows’s ski cap and kisses the top of his bald head. Nice visual of the two of them standing over the prone Truth. The straight-edge team celebrates with huge smiles.

Winner: N/A

Match #2: Kane vs. Mike Knox:  Matt Striker is the greatest commentator going now. I know, I said that in the last match. Knox and Kane are equally massive. The pacing is rather quick for a big man match. Knox comes off the ropes with a cross body, and dominates Kane for a good bit. Kane hits a chokeslam on Knox for the win.

Winner: Kane

To the back! Josh Matthews asks JeriShow how Jericho’s loss to HHH on Monday will affect their ability to fight Cryme Time. Jericho speaks on the TLC match instead, describing the effects of Big Show hitting someone with a chair. Describing Shawn Michael’s surgically-repaired back after Big Show puts him through a table, or HHH seeing Jericho crashing through a table with an elbow. Jericho destroyed and embarrassed Shawn Michaels in their last ladder match. TLC is the most dangerous match ever created in WWE, and Jericho has been in two of them. After TLC, DX will be finished. Big Show smiles behind Jericho. Excellent Jericho promo here!

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool and Layla sit at ringside, sporting “Piggie James” tank tops.

Match #3: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Natalya:  This is a Triple Threat match to determine the Number One Contender to Michelle McCool’s title. All three women will be in the ring at the same time. Sweet! YES!!! Natalya has a singles match with a title shot on the line! Beth knocks Mickie to the floor. Beth and Natalya shove repeatedly. Beth tries to knock down Natalya, but Nattie doesn’t budge. Oh, just let Beth and Natalya go!!! It will be awesome! We go to a commercial break. We’re back! Natalya has Mickie in a bad way, applying several wicked submission holds. Mickie fights out with a neckbreaker. Beth goes after Mickie, but Natalya rolls up Mickie for a two-count. Mickie dropkicks Natalya in the knee. Natalya goes for a Sharpshooter on Mickie, but Beth plants Natalya with a Glam Slam. Mickie kicks Beth out of the ring and gets the pin on Natalya.

Winner & #1 Contender to Women’s Championship: Mickie James

Post-match, Mickie has the mic. She tells Michelle McCool that she realizes that McCool oves to talk, and that she’ll do all the fans a favor and shut her mouth permanently. Mickie shoves McCool into the barricade with great force. Mickie attacks Layla. McCool and Layla double-team Mickie, but Maria rushes the ring and makes the save. McCool and Layla bail, and Mickie and Maria celebrate in the ring.

To the back! Teddy Long books Batista in a street fight against Rey Mysterio next week. Batista agrees, as long as his “hold-harmless” agreement is still in effect. Batista complains that Teddy allows Undertaker to call him out. Teddy says that after what Batista did to Taker last week, his hands are tied, playa. 

To the back! Matt Hardy plays as John Morrison on the SvR game, beating the crap out of Drew McIntyre. The really real John Morrison stands by, saying that he didn’t know that Drew McIntyre was in the game. Hardy says that he isn’t, he had to create him. JoMo says that the only thing better than beating the Scottish out of Drew McIntyre in virtual reality was doing it in real life. Which is about to happen…now.

Match #4: Drew McIntyre vs. John Morrison:  This match could be really good. Both guys are really good. I don’t know what’s in the water in Scotland, but jeezy creezy, Drew McIntyre is one sexy man! And he has a mic. He tells JoMo that the Intercontinental Championship has gone straight to his head. He starts to say that JoMo is probably staring at himself, but gets interrupted by a slap. JoMo hits a standing Shooting Star Press, but McIntyre kicks him in the head. McIntyre lays in the punches and kicks in the corner. JoMo hits a Pele-style kick (copycat!). Ouch! McIntyre shoves JoMo’s face into the ropes and runs him down the apron into the barricade. Morrison is all athleticism and flash, while McIntyre is power and brutality. McIntyre locks in a submission hold on Morrison. Morrison tries to fight out, but McIntyre hurls him to the mat by the head. In the corner, Morrison goes up in the air for a float-over, but McIntyre kicks him in the gut on the way down. We go to a commercial break. Curses! Ok, we’re back. McIntyre flattens Morrison with a stiff clothesline. This is just a really good match that you have to watch. I can’t call it anymore. Morrison scores a two-count. And a second one. Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck, but McIntyre kicks his leg. McIntyre gets a 2 3/4 count on Morrison. Morrison lands a Flying Chuck kick on McIntyre, knocking him from the ring apron to the floor. Morrison tries to drag McIntyre back into the ring, but McIntyre clings to the steel frame of the ring. McIntyre yanks Morrison into the frame head-first. McIntyre pulls Morrison into the ring and hits him with a stiff Kobashi DDT for the win. Excellent, excellent match! I want to see more from these two.

Winner: Drew McIntyre

Vickie Guerrero strides with purpose to the ring. We see a recap of her nasty break-up with Eric Escobar. She has a mic.

“EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!!!”

Last week, she was publicly humiliated by her ex-boyfriend, Eric Escobar. He dared to raise his voice to her, and to question her personal hygiene? He will suffer the consequences. Vickie is beautiful, powerful, and fair. Jeebus, the booing and general heat is off the chart! Vickie orders Eric Escobar to come to the ring, apologize, and beg her to forgive him. Tomorrow, he won’t wake up next to her, but he will wake up with a job. A very smiling Eric Escobar comes out, shades and chains and all. He has a mic. He agrees to apologize. He is very, very sorry. Sorry that he and Vickie ever met. That he wasted his time with her. That he got to see her wearing her negligee. Screeching and wailing ensues. Vickie decides not to fire him and end his career tonight, as that would be too easy. Eric Escobar is now in a handicapped match against the Hart Dynasty. Right now.

Match #5: The Hart Dynasty vs. Eric Escobar: Natalya does not accompany David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd. Kidd and Escobar start off. Smith charges in and kicks Escobar in the face. Double-teaming ensues. Kidd comes back in. Escobar plants Kidd with a modified Sky High, but Smith breaks it up. Vickie sits at ringside, watching carefully. The Hart Attack takes down Escobar, and Kidd gets the pin. Vickie is pleased. Kidd takes her hand and escorts her to the ring. Smith holds Escobar while Vickie slaps him, then Smith sends Escobar flying with a kick to the gut. Vickie leaves between the two members of the Hart Dynasty. Now I see why Natalya wasn’t there.

Winner: The Hart Dynasty

To the back! Josh Matthews asks Luke Gallows about his recent transformation. Gallows says that his friends and family forced him to take medication, and he looked and acted like a fool. Punk helped him recover from all that, and he wants everyone else to see CM Punk the way that he sees him. As a savior.

Todd Grisham and Matt Striker talk up the TLC ppv and run down the card. Have I mentioned that Matt Striker is the greatest announcer going? This pairing is outstanding.

Match #6: Cryme Tyme vs. Chris Jericho & Big Show:  Jericho starts, and pounds the daylights out of JTG. Big Show distracts JTG briefly, and Jericho sweeps the knee. Jericho works over the leg and lower back of JTG. Jericho chokes JTG on the bottom rope. Jericho stalks JTG, and the action goes back and forth. Shad Gaspard finally gets tagged in, as does Big Show. Show knocks out Shad with a huge right hand. Show pins Shad for the win.

Winners: JeriShow

We see a recap of the Batista/Undertaker doings from previous weeks.

Undertaker makes his grand dramatic entrance, complete with fire. Even after all this time, I still love that entrance. Live, it’s like nothing else. Before Taker gets to the ring, Batista attacks him from behind, hitting him with a steel chair. Batista continues to use the chair, driving into Taker’s throat as he shoves him against the ring steps. A spinebuster onto the chair keeps Taker down. Batista takes Taker’s title belt and hits him in the head with it. Next week’s street fight between Rey Mysterio and Batista is pushed heavily with a video package. Really good way to get people to tune in next week, by the way.

FINAL THOUGHTS:  Some very good stuff happened tonight. The CM Punk as the “straight-edge savior” is great. WWE in particular is bad about not acknowledging previous gimmicks when someone is repackaged. That they are doing so here is perfect for the characters involved, and I can’t wait to see where it goes. The match between John Morrison and Drew McIntyre was excellent, and an Intercontinental Championship feud between those two could be money. Natalya getting her own spotlight away from the Hart Dynasty, particularly against Beth Phoenix and in the Women’s title scene, makes me very happy. I’d love to see Natalya snap Michelle McCool like a twig, but that’s as may be. The TLC ppv looks promising, particularly as the matches are not all TLC matches. Having tables matches, ladder matches, chairs matches, and a full TLC match offer much better opportunities than having a whole night of TLC matches. Todd Grisham and Matt Striker are the best announce team out there. Did I mention that?

That’s it for me. Join me next week for some extra special “Smackdown” goodness, and check back for other BWF offerings.

Peace out,

Drowgoddess

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