Holy hell – I never expected the new RAW GM to be him! I’m not going to post it up here though, if you don’t know who it is already. I didn’t find out who the new RAW GM was until 7:30 this morning, and I’m going to make you wait just the same. Meanwhile, RAW was pretty… interesting last night. Michael Cole was in a match, was beaten up, replaced with Mike Adamle, and then later, JR joined Adamle and the King on commentary. Kane and JBL got into it a few times, Cena and Batista almost went at it, and CM Punk took on William Regal, among other things.
The results, and my analysis after the jump!
RAW kicked off with John Cena coming to the ring. He knows things got a little crazy last week, and he made a mistake. He punched Batista right in the kisser. That’s alright though, Cena’s a man, and he’ll fess up to his mistakes, and if Dave’s got something to say about it, he’s right in the middle of the ring. This brings out Batista. Dave says that when he beats CM Punk for the World Heavyweight Championship, Cena is going to get the first shot. Cena stops Batista right there. What makes D-von’s Deacon think he’s getting another shot at the title. He’s had two shots already and he’s still not the champion. It’s someone else’s turn. Batista says that both of his shots were interrupted, so therefore he’s still the number one contender. Cena says that everybody knows Cena vs. Batista should headline WrestleMania, but screw waiting until next April, let’s do it tonight! Batista thinks that’s a pretty good idea. Somebody else, on the other hand, didn’t think it was…
HERE COMES THE MONEY!
Shane O’Mac is in the house, and he’s got some other plans for Batista and John Cena, courtesy of the new RAW General Manager, who we’ll be meeting later on tonight. First things first though, the new GM has booked a match for WWE Champion CM Punk against the hottest free agent in Sports Entertainment. As for Dave Batista and John Cena, they’ll be tag team partners tonight, taking on the team of JBL and Kane.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK> (I think I’ll start doing that when the shows go to commercials, except in the middle of matches. Keeps it pretty well separated, dontchya think?)
We see a highlight from last week of D’Lo Brown defeating Santino Marella, and the strange aftermatch involving Beth Phoenix. Backstage, Beth tells Santino that the kiss meant nothing., and they should keep things professional. Santino agrees, telling Beth that he is not a piece of meat, and we get ready for inter-gender tag team action…
Santino Marella & Beth Phoenix def. D’Lo Brown & Kelly Kelly
Santino and D’Lo started this one, with D’Lo in firm control. Santino went for a fireman’s carry, couldn’t do it, so he tagged in Beth, who did it herself. Kelly got the tag from D’Lo, and put up a little offense, before getting hit with a backbreaker. Beth tagged in Santino, who says “I got her.” He misses an elbow drop, but knocks D’Lo off the apron before Kelly can get the tag. Santino rolls up Kelly for the pin (copping a feel on her ass in the process), celebrates, then shakes Beth’s hand. He acts like he has something to say, and like he wants to kiss her again, then just walks away. Beth pulls him by his fauxhawk, and plants a great big kiss on him and smiles as she leaves the ring. Santino thinks he likes it!
Shane O’Mac is looking at a picture of his dear ol’ dad backstage when JBL comes around. He wants to talk to Shane about his title match at SummerSlam. Shane tells him that it’s up to the new GM. JBL asks who it is. Shane changes the subject. JBL tells Shane he’s a McMahon, and he can give JBL the title match. Shane says that it would take away from the GM’s power, so no. That’s when Shane’s theme song starts playing. No, he’s not heading to the ring, that’s just his ringtone. On the other end, the new GM, who is on his or her way to the building.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his way to the ring. Tonight, he’s teaming up with Jerry “The King” Lawler to take on the World Tag Team Champions, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes. But wait! Lillian informs us that by order of the new General Manager of RAW, Jerry Lawler will not be teaming with Hacksaw Jim Duggan tonight. Nope, instead, he’ll be teaming with… MICHAEL COLE!
Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes def. The RAW Announce Team
Speaking of announce teams, the booth is empty for this one. The King manages to hold his own against the two second generation superstars, but it all goes to hell when he goes to celebrate with Michael Cole in his corner. Cody says it’s a tag, the referee agrees. Rhodes knocks Lawler out of the ring and drags Cole in. Cole punches Cody right square in the face. He tries to do it again, but it’s blocked. He gets clotheslined to the ground and pinned, giving Rhodes and DiBiase the win. Afterward, paramedics and officials come down to check on Cole’s condition.
We’re greeted by a familiar face when we get back from break. It’s the guy from American Gladiators, Mike Adamle. He doesn’t know why he’s at RAW, he just got a phone call telling him to be in D.C. tonight. He’s joined by a disgusted Jerry “The King” Lawler, who, according to Adamle, is upset because of what happened to Michael Cole. I say he’s disgusted by having to work with Adamle, but whatever.
Jamie Noble is in the ring with Layla. He calls her his “part time girlfriend/lady associate person.” He says that the new GM needs to realize that Jamie Noble is the biggest star on the show. As such, he’s made a challenge to the Intercontinental Champion, “Coffee Kingston…”
Coffee Kofi Kingston def. Jamie Noble
Noble barely stood a chance, Coffee took this one before I could type “JAMAICAN ME CRAZY, COFFEE!”
CM Punk is heading to the ring to take on the hottest free agent in wrestling…
JBL has joined Mike Adamle and The Jerry Lawler King at the broadcast booth. heads to the ring, and awaits his opponent…
The evil music starts, and William Regal makes his entrance. Hottest free agent in wrestling, huh? Anyways, the match is on…
CM Punk def. William Regal
William Regal looks like he hasn’t missed a step in the ring. He nailed Punk with numerous throws and strikes, even busting Punk open. Looked like a broken nose to me. Anyways, Regal goes to stretch Punk, but Punk overpowers him and nails the G.T.S. for the win.
JBL gets in the ring to come after Punk, but he’s interrupted by Kane, who comes to the ring and knocks JBL down with a punch to the face (that seems to be a recurring theme tonight, doesn’t it?). Punk goes after Kane, chasing him off, and ended up getting nailed by JBL for his trouble. Still to come, Kane and JBL team up against Cena and Batista.
The Highlight Reel set is in the ring, apparently for the last time. The Jeritron 6000 HD is still shattered from Shawn Michaels’ face going through it. Jericho gives us the same promo he’s been giving us for the last few weeks, but this week, he’s got a video package showcasing the career of one of the most charismatic superstars of all time. No, not HBK. Y2J. We get a video package showing some of Jericho’s sillier RAW moments, including him dressing up as Doink The Clown to attack William Regal, him making fun of Stephanie McMahon’s breast implants, and his return back in November. He says he’s not going to be that silly guy anymore, he’s going to focus on his career. Lance Cade says that his career before teaming with Y2J was much worse than Jericho’s was back then. He was stuck with a singing cowboy as a partner. The final statement to ever be made on the Highlight Reel, is Chris Jericho throwing his name into the hat for the title match at SummerSlam.
Good Ol’ JR is here. He sits down with Mike Adamle and The King at ringside. Much like Adamle, JR doesn’t know why he’s here, he just got a call from WWE Management telling him to be at RAW.
Mickie James def. Jillian Hall
Mickie’s dad is in the arena tonight, she makes sure to give her dad a big kiss before her match. Mickie stayed on the offense for most of this one, but the real story was that JR kept correcting Mike Adamle when he’d make a mistake (though I still don’t understand what the difference is between tickets “going on sale” and tickets being “available”). Mickie hit the Mickie-DDT and pinned Hall.
After the match, The Women’s Champion goes out and hugs her dad, but is attacked from behind and left lying by Katie Lea Burchill. Katie heads up the remp where big brother Paul is waiting. She says she did what she did to get the attention of the new General Manager. Her and her brother are the next Women’s Champion and Intercontinental Champion, respectively.
Todd Grisham asks The Money who the new GM is. Shane says that the new GM is in the building, but Grisham will find out when everybody else finds out.
We get a rundown of the SummerSlam card. King wants to know why there are no RAW matches for SummerSlam yet. JR reminds him that it’s probably because they haven’t had a GM.
Saturday Night Live is this Saturday. Check your local listings.
Cryme Tyme tell John Cena that they don’t trust Batista, and that he shouldn’t either. They tell him that if he gets the pin for his team tonight, the World Title shot at SummerSlam is in the bag. Batista shows up. He says he doesn’t trust Cena. They do the whole “we need to work together” thing.
John Cena & Batista def. JBL & Kane
John Cena took a beating to start this one, but gets the hot tag to Batista, who comes in and cleans house. Eventually, JBL inadvertantly hit Kane, and as Bradshaw went to powerbomb Batista, Kane comes in and goozles the wizard of Wall Street. Cena took advantage of the situation and hit an FU on Kane to win the match for his team.
Batista and Cena had a staredown in the center of the ring, when…
HERE COMES THE MONEY!
Shane O’Mac says we’re right back where we started. So, without further ado, it’s time to meet the new General Manager of Monday Night RAW. Shane appears to be waiting for somebody to come out from backstage – but then points to the ring, and introduces the new WWE RAW General Manager…
MIKE F’N ADAMLE!
Yes, it’s true, the new General Manager of Monday Night RAW is Mike Adamle. He’s standing in the ring with John Cena and Batista and makes the match for SummerSlam – John Cena vs. Batista, as we fade to black.
Holy crap. Mike Adamle is the RAW General Manager? I absolutely did not see that coming. Is it wrong of me, instead of thinking “holy crap, Adamle?” when he was announced, I immediately thought, “does this mean Joey Styles is coming back to ECW?” I’m interested to see where this goes – and I honestly think that Adamle will do much better as a GM than he did as an announcer on ECW on Sci Fi. Couple of things I want to point out. It took Mike Adamle just 7 months to climb up the corporate ladder from random backstage announcer guy to RAW GM. Todd Grisham is still a backstage announcer, and he’s been with the company for years. JR and Jerry Lawler are still commentators. Mike Adamle is GM after 7 months in the company.The other thing to mention here is, the Michael Cole thing. It all makes sense after the reveal of the new GM. Cole was ripping on Adamle big time during a recent PPV with all three brands represented in a match, or maybe it was the draft show or something. So, Adamle’s revenge. Makes sense now, doesn’t it? Anyways, I’m interested to see where we go from here, and for once I’m looking forward to tuning in to ECW on Sci Fi – though I’ll be extremely (no pun intended) disappointed if they replace Adamle with anybody besides Joey Styles…
Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed today and never miss another!