The Muppets episode in which Chewie is granted the powers of invisibility.
What could it mean? Why is Chewie even here? How could this be the first Smackdown of 2013? Is there a monkey behind me eating alphabet soup? What is his motive? All this and so much more! Join me, shall you, on this magic epic adventure I like to call… “The Fuck?” It’s hopping time, grab your pogo stick playah.
(more…)
For nearly four years now, I’ve been blogging about professional wrestling right here on BoredWrestlingFan.com. In that time, I’ve seen countless professional wrestlers pass away, but I’ve very rarely ever felt the need to get on the computer and write about it, other than maybe a “RIP So-and-so” status on my personal facebook. Today, however, I felt inspired by the passing of one Chief Jay Strongbow.
When you’re a wrestling fan for a long enough time, there are names that, whether you’d actually seen them compete or not, you know. Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Captain Lou Albano, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Ric Flair, Steve Austin, to name a few. Chief Jay Strongbow is one of those. I can’t honestly say that I’ve seen a Chief Jay Strongbow match in my life, but I know the name. I know the legacy. How big of a name in professional wrestling was Chief Jay Strongbow? Here’s a quote from the 1999 Adam Sandler film, “Big Daddy.”
“He taught me how to do the sleeper hold like Chief Jay Strongbow.”
My only real experience seeing Chief Strongbow with my own eyes was in a ceremony done on WWF Superstars with Tatanka, when Strongbow presented him a feather headdress that was destroyed a few weeks later by Irwin R. Schyster. But I’d known the name for a long, long time. Our condolences to his friends and family.
Vengeance is in the books. Off the top of my head, it was a really good pay-per-view. If I had spent my money (I saw it in a bar where I do a pre-game show, so I was not charged for it.), I would have been pleased with the purchase. The worst part of the night was our service, but that is not typical, so you take it as it comes. Vengeance had some really good matches. Cena-ADR was a total (good) brawl. Henry-Show was a pretty good match (Even though the ring collapsing will never touch Taz-Bam Bam Bigelow in ECW). Sheamus-Christian, Orton-Rhodes, were pretty good matches for the hype behind them. Even Eve-Beth wasn’t painful.
So coming next is Survivor Series. Now begins the build-up. They begin to recap the PPV. The ring collapsing was of course the first thing mentioned. And the second was Kevin Nash. Eve Torres had more people talking than Kevin Nash. HHH comes out to the ring likes it’s still 2004 and gets to be the center of attention. Why not? The ring collapsed back then, too. HHH does the same promo he’s done since ’04. He calls out Kevin Nash and is interrupted by the only guy I want to see less, Super Dave Osborne. HHH follows Super Dave up to the ramp and is attacked by Kevin Nash holding a sledgehammer. They did a nice job of selling the sledgehammer. If you get hit with one, your only television appearances for the next two weeks should be in a hospital bed.
No matter how bad Raw is, it can be as bad as the Adam Sandler in drag movie.
Cole and Lawler sold the sledgehammer hit very well. They are trying to make these mean something again.
Our first match is Orton & Sheamus vs. Christian & Rhodes. Sheamus is really catapulting upwards. I think he might replace Kofi as my favorite wrestler in the WWE. These four know each other well in the ring and worked very well together. Sheamus got the pin and looks like he gets Mark Henry next. Good bout for the first match.
Backstage, Super Dave is talking to Stephanie. This is how bad it is. I would rather see Stephanie on tv than Johnny Ace. John Cena sees Otunga and makes a Carlton Fresh Prince joke. If it didn’t sound scripted, I would forgive him for at least one poop joke.
Santino got squashed by Dolph Ziggler. After Jack Swagger put him in the Ankle Lock Submission, the Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan comes out to his rescue. In case you were curious about what roid rage looks like, go back and watch this segment.
After the commercial break, we have the younger Gomez Addams in the ring introducing Alberto Del Rio. Alberto Del Rio will be champ for a long time. Then CM Punk’s music hits. Then Super Dave interfered. Punk went over his mic skills. Then he mocked Ace’s “majestic voice” and asked him if he needed a new skateboard. Punk wants a title shot. All he had to do is say is he respected Ace.
“I respect you, Funk-man.”
-CM Punk in a deep Brian Pillman-like voice making reference to this
Punk said that he respected Ace for doing more with less. Ace doesn’t want Punk as champion. 1997 called. They wanted their angle back.
We got Nattie-Alicia Fox. Alicia actually beat Nattie. That was unpredictable.
The John Morrison Future Endeavored Tour continued against Wade Barrett. John Morrison will have a nice career in AAA. It was just kind of a formality. I have no emotional investment in any more of Morrison’s matches. I’m just biding time until the next match. At least the Divas match had a surprise.
Does Vince believe Jim Ross deserves ANY dignity? Michael Cole will quit if he loses the announcer’s challenge. Well, I guess we know who’ll win it.
Miz & Truth attacked Zack Ryder and then cut a really good promo. After the commercial, we find out it’ll be a handicap match. I still have Walking Dead on DVR that needs to be watched. Hell, I’d rather watch Dirty Soap with my wife than this main event. I paid no attention to this match because the WWE Creative Team didn’t either.
You want good wrestling? Go here if you’re in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Go here to get a good cross-section of indy wrestling no matter where you are. And no matter who you are or where you are, go here. Cause you’re not getting it here with the WWE.
To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.