Tonight, Smackdown hails from my city of birth, the mean streets of Edmonton. A place ravaged by gang warefare between Polar Bears and Steve. You know, Steve? Everyone knows Steve. He’s a tough dude. Saw him wear shorts in July once, in three feet of snow. There’s a statue of Jericho there too, inventor of Canada. In Canada, we all hop. Do you hop? You should.
Why wear wrestling gear when going anarchist?
Can I be frank for a minute? JT is seen in my preamble holding up a sign that says, “No, your name is ‘G’, brother, dude.”
Fine. Look. On May 21st, Steve Wilhite, inventor of the GIF file format won The Life Time Achievement Webby Award on May 21 for giving the gift of the GIF to the world. He also settled the long time debate on how to pronounce the word associated with the format.
The Dude who invented it says it’s a soft “G”. Asshole’s calling me “soft”?
Or as he would nicely put it, “Choosy programmers choose ‘jif’.” So for all those whining and complaining that they have been wrong all along, deal with it. Just learn to speak properly. I can’t believe there is internet outrage over this. Un-fucking-believable.
And one more thing… There is also confusion on how to pronunciate the internet term, “Meme.”
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Smarten up. It rhymes with “cream.” I have no clue why some people think it sounds like “Them,” or “B.B.“.
This is all more important than more normal preamble, actually. Hit the jump. Hopping time.
Well, here we are again. Friday. Smackdown. Ratings are slumping for all things wrestling, as they tend to do in the summer time (Except TNA, of course, their ratings never change). Things like NHL and NBA playoffs don’t help either. But since it’s too late to watch any games, I certainly have the time to watch Smackdown. Boy, do I sound enthusiastic.
Hopping Time!
YAY!!!
Stuff goes here. Hopping time!
On RAW, the crowd made the difference for the show to be a winner, ultimately, which I suspect and hope will remain a tradition as the so-called “hardcore” smarks stick around for it. Will that many of them stick around for Smackdown? I’d like to think so… but this “thing” is still a new “thing.” Only one way to find out, and you know what that means. Into the back of the closet and into Narnia, kiddo, we’re hunting wabbits. Hopping time! (a.k.a. Beer will make this better).
The customary hand wave after a goal is scored.
You would have thought that the WWE would have promoted the fact that the Rock was appearing on Smackdown tonight. Nope. They kind of forgot to do that. Yet they spoil other outcomes on the same program on their website. Weird. I mean it’s Smackdown, it’s not like we’re getting a surprise return or anything either… right? Something about hopping time.
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Oh hey, Smackdown is on again. Do YOU know what that means?
YES!
I see. Hopping time, then.
Step 1: Steal a time machine
Step 2: Go back to the 1980’s and find yourself a Pogoball
Step 3: It’s hopping time, motherfuckers.
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Let’s do this shit.
Long week, and kind of a sad one. But no need to divulge in that crap, since Smackdown is on… and frankly, I’m tired and thereby, lazy. So grab some industrial sized springs, yeah those ones with the sharp ends. Jam them into the soles of your feet and proceed to turn them into your foot until they come out of the top because it’s hopping time!
…or flippy floppy time?
Yawn.
Never underestimate The “Unseen Power Of The Picket Fence”. Alice of RWR knows what I’m talking about. So does J.T., Joe, and Jorge of BWF Radio. We’ll see you on Sunday for the podcast. Maybe even Alice will show up and make Jorge laugh? Until then, I decided to continue my streak of abusing my psycological well being and review another episode of The Mediocre Khali Show. Sigh. That dude ain’t hopping. He has no knees, like Kevin Nash, nor legs like Zack Gowan, nor feet like Kamala. But all of those dude’s collected a paycheck at least. I never did. Hopping time, jerks.
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Here at BWF, you have No Alernative. You’ll find this track there too. Ask your buddy Google to explain. Look up Benoit, Cobain, Man on the Moon, REM, Kaufman, and Pavement. None of it will make any sense to you, but it does to me. And that’s how, I roll. One more match. Tell Google, G sent you.
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