Tag Archive: Borden

  1. Pintnoir Impact Review – Let the Repo Games begin


    We open the show with the drawn out conclusion of Victory Road. This leads into Dixie Carter coming to the  ring putting her best crying face on. She goes over how horrible of a champion Roode is and how she has conversed with Lawyers for the past week, but the incident only happened last night, but thats what happened when you tape a show. Mr. Borden comes to the ring to make a case for keeping Roode so James Storm and the fans can get revenge at Lockdown. Because you know when and if I put hands on my boss nothing will be down until he gets revenge at a later date. Sting seems reinvigorated with becoming a wrestler again and decides to abducate the GM position and elects Hogan to Dixie’s chargin.

    We then cut to Bully Ray who seems obsessed with taking hostages for whatever reason. Which with the X Division match coming next is apparent foreshadowing. Some one always has to take out the X guys to prove a point to which point I wish I knew.

    Austin Aries (c) vs Kid Kash vs Anthony Nese vs Zema Ion: A really good match. Especially for Nese who was able to show off his abilities and hopefully gets a shot at a story with Aries. Everyone gets as least one show moment in and out of the ring leading to a tower of doom in the corner. Then (like foreshadowing demands) Bully Ray comes in as the competitors are all laid out and attacks. Aries the only one left standing gets a boot to the face. Yeah that was awesome.

    So Mexican America is outside with Josh Matthews who is about to repossess their ride. What happens next is typical Repo Games which Chavo or should I say Anarquia gets wrong except for the first one. Leading to begging for a chance to pay Matthews when each set wins their respective tag titles, honestly they should both just play easy slots games.

    Sarita and Rosita vs Eric Young and ODB: This match was short and to the point, as with that I mean we got the typical EY antics which lead to him goofily playing around the ring since male on female violence isn’t allowed on Spike TV. Eventual Eric strips which causes the girls to flock around him (because Sarita has nothing better to do) hitting on him. ODB jealous takes out the pair before hitting the BBAM on Rosita she starts in on EY for messing around with other girls and where his ring, they kiss and she tosses him on top of Rosita for the pin. Yeah so Bully Ray couldn’t interrupt this match.

    Crimson is backstage previewing the new Direct Auto Insurance with Morgan before going all heel and saying Morgan was the selfish one. Morgan appears and attacks Crimson until security pulls them apart. Crimson crawls away.

    James Storm comes out and calls out Roode for attacking Dixie and for just being a bad friend. Instead of Roode we get Randy Orton circa The Evolution who is the British attorney for Robert Roode who is hiding at home until Lockdown but Storm is more than welcome to fight either Daniels or Kazarian. James opts for both then Last Calls the lawyer William Kelly.

    Kurt Angle is having an interview with Wonder Years when after being asked about the rematch with Hardy which Kurt declines, is presented with the fact that he lost against Garrett which causes Kurt to seek out the kid which takes 5 seconds rechallenging him for three minutes.

    Garett vs Angle: Garett and kurt have a pissing contest until a shoving match fires up Garett causing him to do a couple clothelines and a face plant. But when bischoff jr goes for one face plant too many Kurt tossing Garett out of the ring. Garett sees the clock and decides to duck Angle for the remaining time. Until that is Gunner comes out and attacks Garett. Bisch Junior wins by DQ. Hardy comes out for the save.

    Tag Title Match Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Mexican America: MA takes early advantage isolating Magnus as Joe watches from the sidelines. Magnus eventually gets the hot tag and Joe cleans house locking Anarquia in a choke hold. The Sitas hope up on the apron to distract the ref who doesn’t see that Chavo Jr has tapped. Then Josh Matthews comes down and repossess the girls. Hernandez breaks the hold and is about ready to powerbomb Joe when Magnus big boots him and takes Chavo jr setting up for the back kick into the elbow drop. Magnus and Joe wins.

    Afterwards in the lot MA is trying to get the car back only to attack Matthews who fights Anarquia off. Proving that they have no money or power to take on Matthews the girls leave with Josh. Hopefully ending Mexican America.

    James Storm comes out to have his handicapp match with Kaz and Daniels which lasts a total of 5 minutes including entrances. Oh and before that we get news on how next week we are having the official video of Longnecks and Rednecks (Storm’s theme) with Montgomery Gentry and Cowboy Troy! IF you not into country you may not know who that is. Storm wins after a Double Last Call on Kaz and Daniels respecitvely.

    Wow the main event is Hogan and Sting with Dixie talking about the GM position which could of been handled at the beginning of the show. Awesome. As I try not to fall asleep as Sting kisses Hogan’s ass we are left decisionless which means that this will continue into next week on a taped show. yeah again. sigh.

    See you next week. Pintnoir out.

  2. iMPACT Wrestling 06/09/2011-review


    Welcome again to another wonderful Pintnoir Impact review. No declaration of struggling to watch the show, just plain old ‘noir coming to terms with this new direction good and bad.

    Bad- Bischoff and Hogan come to the ring, cocky as always as they proclaim that iMPACT Wrestling is now back in better hands minus a “Network Stooge” calling the shots. Bischoff promises to better represent the X Division (sarcasm seeps from his every pore) They then proceed to call out the number one contender, Mr Anderson proceeded by the TNA champion Sting.

    Hogan reminds the fans that “Wrestling Matters”. He also promises no run ins or interference on the part of anyone. Do I smell a swerve?

    Anderson digs into Sting, that everything he stands for is a joke.

    Sting rebuttals that the only thing standing between the complete corruption of TNA is him as champion. Borden (Sting) pleads with Hogan to change his evil ways and cut away the cancer that is Eric Bischoff.

    Sting walks away.

    Coming up next is the announcement for the Knockout Tag. Tara/Mickie vs Winter/Love

    Let this match begin- Tara controls the early minutes of the match with Winter. Then tags in James who still keeps the good T.T Lesbian under wraps. Winter finally tags in Xxxombie Love, who puts the hurt on Mickie.  Funny side note* Taz mentions that the reason Angelina doesn’t have a lot more in her moveset is because she is a Zombie.

    Eventually Madison comes down to the ring and pulls down Tara. This distraction leads to Angelina getting the DDT/Lung-blower finisher on Mickie for the 3 count. Afterwards Love punishes Mickie with a Sleeper while Winter looks on.

    Mexican America Promo: Hernandez mumbles, Anarquia talks like a helium Chavo. Nothing is accomplished. Other than getting on my nerves.

    Card for the main event tonight: EY/Sting vs Gunner/Anderson

    -British Invasion on commentary?!

    Mexican America vs Gun Money/Beer Guns.

    Taz during commentary points out the poor record of British Invasion, Magnus is not amused.

    Shelley and Anarquia start out the match. After a series of moves Storm is tagged in setting up what looks like the Guns kick in the face double team with instead is turned into a finger poke. Hernandez charges Shelley with a shoulder tackle, which in Hernandez’s hands could cause injury. Shelley dives on Hernandez on the outside. The Sitas jump up on the apron getting the ref’s attention as Storm has Anarquia pinned. Storm spits beer in there face. Turns around just in time for Anarquia to duck a super kick by Shelley into Storm’s face. Shelley out of the ring. MA gets the victory, to the displeasure of Roode.

    Promo: Gunner and Anderson talk about taking out Sting.

    Followed by a wrestling matters promo. I really convinced that management enjoys shoving this down our throats.

    Mexican America confronts Hogan in his office, asking for a title shot since they beat Gun Mone/Beer Guns. Things get ugly when Lil Chavo accuses Hogan of being a racist. HH takes offense to being called a racist so he instead provokes sexual harassment against Sarita/Rosita. ( I don’t blame him, I’d do it too) Which causes Helium and Blackhole of Charisma to tell Hogan to watch his back.

    Promo for Jarrett vs Angle finally match. Thank God.

    Quickly followed by a Jarrett promo were he calls out Angle and lays out there history. How he brought in Angle, wasn’t given respect and he believes Angle is trying to erase his memory from TNA. He brags about taking away everything Angle holds dear, from his wife and kids to finally on Sunday his gold medal.

    Angle retorts that he wants to thank Jeff for getting Karen out of his life. He promises to destroy Jarrett in the ring.

    ODB promo talking trash about velvet sky and her nasty ways. Right before slapping her own breast.

    Velvet Sky vs ODB later tonight

    Ad for Bully Ray’s Open Challenge

    Promo: Kendrick/Kazarian w/Janice are looking for Abyss.

    Bully Ray comes to the ring, he starts to bully Hemme out of the ring while also insulting her Playboy cover. He challenges any single competitor to come out and face him. Except Devon.

    What do we get? Rob Van Dam!@

    To start Bully Ray sneaks up on RVD to do a modified powerbomb from the corner. Ray pretty much controls the match throughout with the occasional comeback from RVD. Out comes AJ. When Ray notices Styles while in the mist of a piledriver is countered. Van Dam is able to pull off a five star frog splash for the win.

    Velvet Sky does her own shoot on ODB. Is really disgusted by her implants and patting of her “area” as she puts it “there’s a cream for it” Not to lose topic but didn’t Sky also have a boob job?

    Anywho, Angle was in England talking about his 2012 Olympic qualification. Even at 43 he plans on entering. I wish him luck.

    Kendrick/Kaz run into Abyss in the back who spouts philosophy about Sun Tzu. And proclaims the X division dead (again) and he’s renamed the belt the Xtreme title? (whatever, TNA with your multiple named belts) He challenges them to a 3way at Slammiversary. *yeah so saw that coming last week.* Kazarian calls the Sun Tzu babbling Abyss an idiot while Kendrick tries to convince Frankie (Kaz’s first name) about the dangers of not winning the belt on Sunday.

    ODB vs Velvet Sky-  ODB comes out to no theme music since she is not signed to a contract. *Which by the way is funny considering she is having a match with you know a ref and all* Velvet gets the upper hand with a sneak attack (because obviously she knows she can’t win) And has control until the dirty one throws her into some steel stairs. After that it turns into a brawl with ODB dominating. Until while choking Sky and taunting her Velvet pulls out an impact ddt for the win. (against a competitor who is not on contract?) Lawsuit?

    Pointless promo for Pope vs Devon, showing footage from Xplosion where D is being ambushed by Mexican America and Pope makes the save.

    Main Event Time

    Sting/Eric Young vs Anderson/Gunner- The match starts off with Anderson vs Sting before Anderson tags in Gunner, after some back and forth and two stinger splashes to the back of Gunner, Ken clotheslines Sting from behind. Anderson is tagged in. He stomps a mud hole into Sting. An Irish into the corner from Anderson which counters into an explosive clothesline later, EY is tagged where he proceeds to clean house. Fakes out Anderson with a Great Muta Mist spit but then while distracted is knock into Sting (which some how counts as a tag) Which allows Gunner to put away Sting with an F5. After the match Sting is angry and shoves down EY.

    Reaction Bonus: Young chasing down Sting who tells him to stop being a comedy act.

    AJ shoots a promo on Ray about getting in his head. Which causes the Bully to confront him to only be separated by security or as I call him Simon Diamond.

    Sting grabs some war paint to chase down Anderson. Beating him up in a trailer and smears red paint all over his face before choking him out for all to see. Sting is vicious.

    Fade out.

    Sorry no gifs tonight.