Tag Archive: Cartwheel

  1. WWE Superstars

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    Hey everybody.  It’s your favorite WWE Superstars reviewer.  I am here this week with actual thoughts this week instead of the generic results.  Enjoy!

    Match 1: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and Primo Colon

    In the opening minutes of the match, Santino pulled off a Primo cartwheel and started power-walking off the ropes as William Regal just watched in confusion. Fear the Cobra!  If he wasn’t funny, he would have been released a long time ago. I think this might be a last ditch effort to do something with Kozlov. Everything else has failed, so why not put him in a tag team. Primo has seemingly found a home on Superstars and lucky to still have a job. Regal is being underutilized.  He was perfect as the GM on RAW. 

    As far as the match goes, the end comes when Primo goes for high flying cross body off the top rope and Kozlov catches him and drops him with the Iron Curtain. The winners of the match are Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella.

    Match 2: Chris Masters vs Caylen Croft of the Dudebusters

    Why haven’t they done more with Chris Masters? He’s the type of guy who should be in the Mark Henry role or chasing the US Title. I can’t stand the Dudebusters. They suck hard!  Croft spends the majority of the match getting beat down like the jobber he should be, but he gets the victory after hitting a chop block and a DDT. The world is in complete disaray now as Caylen Croft picks up the victory over Chris Masters.

    Main Event: MVP w/Percy “Oh Yeah” Watson vs Chavo Guerrero

    Once upon a time there was a heavily hyped new superstar on Smackdown. He was pushed and eventually became a multiple time US Champion. He then was moved to RAW and is now lost on Superstars most weeks. That superstar is MVP.

    Once upon a time there was another superstar who was part of a great wrestling family. He was a very good Cruiserweight, but then he became Kerwin White. After tragedy struck, he re-adopted his God given name and became the WWECW Champion. He lost in 8 seconds to a Big Red Monster, became a forgotten member of another family (La Familia), and then became a forgotten member of the WWE roster. He is now a staple of Superstars too. His name is Chavo Guerrero.

    MVP picks up the win with the Play of the Day. Let this be a lesson; If you have a heavily hyped debut on Smackdown, you will probably end up on Superstars eventually. This means you, Alberto Del Rio. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon enough on WWE Superstars. And I’m hoping to see all of you again next week for another exhilirating show.

  2. WWE Superstars

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    Welcome, my friends to the show that never ends.  I’m so glad you could attend.  Come inside, come inside.  The Circus that is WWE Superstars is here.

    Match 1:  Jack Swagger and William Regal vs Santino Marella and Chris Masters w/ Eve

    Santino is absolutely hilarious! He hit a cartwheel and the drop-down splits and then attempted to unleash the cobra.  Swagger and Masters need to compete for the US Title.  The end of the match came when Masters put the Masterlock on Swagger, but Regal interrupted and Swagger hit the gutwrench powerbomb for the win.

    Match 2:  Zack Ryder w/ Rosa Mendez vs Primo Colon

    This was a highly entertaining match.  Primo is quick and exciting and Ryder is definitely a rising star in the WWE.  Woo Woo Woo…You know it!  Primo got in his fast offense, highlighted by his cartwheel.  Ryder hit the Rough Ryder and eventually the Zack Attack for the win.  Ryder is another guy who should be thrown into the US Title mix.  The problem with RAW right now is there are too many guys who should be involved in the US Title hunt. 

    Match 3:  Luke Gallows w/ Serena vs Sylas Young

    Its about time they give Gallows some time on his own without Punk.  He cut a promo saying Serena and him would like to dedicate the match to their Straight Edge savior, CM Punk.  This was a quick squash for Gallows to exhibit his power and dominance since most people don’t recognize him as the former Festus.  He has some unique offense and hit the 12th Step for the win.  Serena then gets in the ring and kicks Young in the ribs and out of the ring.

    Main Event:  Great Khali, Matt Hardy, and Maria vs The Hart Dynasty

    What is the point of Khali and Fatt Lardy being partners?  Surely they could have found a better partner that isn’t doing anything at the time for each of these two.  They both suck, so I don’t understand why people want to see them.  Khali can’t move and Hardy apparently is living off past glory.  It’s good he went back to the pants and got away from the baby pajama bottoms he was wearing.  The Hart Dynasty should be working more meaningful matches than this.  They are probably the best tag team in the WWE and should be shown as such.  Tyson Kidd hit the Hart Attack on Matt Hardy for the win. 

    See ya next week for another arousing episode of WWE Superstars.

  3. WWE Superstars Review

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    Its the first WWE Superstars after Summerslam.  Let’s go.

    Match 1:  The All-American American Jack Swagger vs Mr Cartwheel…Primo

    Get down on your knees!  I’m a big fan of Jack Swagger…Jerk of the Month in WWE Magazine or not.  The All-American American gets the win with his Gut Wrench Powerbomb.  After the match, he gets on the mic and says we are looking at the only Superstar born to be the US champ.  Watch out Kofi!

    Ask the Divas segment….”How do I know if a girl likes me?”

    We see Gregory Helms enter the boiler room and out comes The Hurricane!

    Match 2:  The Hurricane vs Paul Burchill w/ Katie Lea

    Stand back!  There’s a Hurricane coming through.  Katie Lea needs to stop wearing her make-up like that.  She looks horrendous.  Paul Burchill has gotten fat.  The Ripper gets the win with the interference from his sister.

    Main Event Triple Threat:  Dolph Ziggler vs Finlay vs Mike Knox

    Winner of this match faces Rey Mysterio at Breaking Point for the Intercontinental title.  Dolph says Mysterio’s win at Summerslam was a fluke.  Mike Knox is severely under-utilized.  That guy is a big sumuma-gun.  He attempts to hit Finlay with the sheleleigh (spell check), but misses and Finlay hits the Celtic Cross.  Finlay for the pin, but Dolph throws him off and gets the pin for himself. 

    This show was better than the recent ones have been.  At least they made sense this week.  Check me out again next week and see if Superstars can remain sensable.

  4. WWE Superstars Review

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    What the deuce?!  It’s me, tharvey1, again with a review of the latest WWE Superstars.   I think this show belongs in the Random Randomness weekly column, but I guess it might be too random for even that.  Anywho…off we go!

    Match 1:  Its a he…Santino!  He has a message for Chavo.  He says that chavo must be so lonely now that his Aunt Vickie has gone wee wee wee all the way home.  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  Chavo then makes his way to the ring.

    This match is one of the very few matches that makes sense for this show.  Santino is very funny in the ring.  At one point, Chavo attempted to throw Santino into the corner and Santino did a cartwheel to avoid it.  Santino blocks the third of the Three Amigos and turns it into a Jackhammer.  He then gets greedy and goes for a frog splash, but catches a boot to the face.  Chavo pins Santino 1..2..3.

    Match 2:  Woo Woo Woo!  Zack Ryder against a random jobber (Mike Williams).  This must be a nice change of pace for Ryder, as he is usually the random jobber.

    I hate those half pants that Ryder wears.  Woo Woo Woo….you know it!  It’s just a matter of time until he is future endeavored.  Okie dokie.  Ryder wins with his Zack Attack.  His entrance music should be Friends Forever by Zack Attack.

    Match 3:  The lovely, beautiful Maria is the guest referee between Eve and Layla.

    Maria is the most important part of this match.  Eve hits a cartwheel backflip splash onto Layla for the victory.  That looked really nice too.  Other than that, it was your standard diva match.  After the match, Maria convinces Eve and Layla to shake hands.  OK???

    Main Event time:  The All-American American Jack Swagger and the Hart Dynasty against Captain Charisma and the Tag Team Champs, The Colons

    David Hart Smith starts the match with Carlito.  There are alot of quick tags to start the match.  I would not mind seeing the Hart Dynasty and the Colons for the Tag Titles…of course we probably won’t see that, as Legacy will most likely win the titles.  Carlito hits the backstabber on Tyson Kidd for the win. 

    This show was actually pretty good and made sense for the stories that are going on at the moment.  Very different than the random mess that has been thrown out there in past shows.  Remember that RAW is commercial free on Monday.  See ya next week!