Tag Archive: Changing Hands

  1. Raw Is Perez Hilton? 1-16-12

    1 Comment

    For some reason Perez Hilton is polluting my Monday Night Raw. I personally think he has no place on our planet or in our species. Last week Kane laid out Zack Ryder because he couldn’t change a flat tire. Maybe Hilton can show Ryder how to change a flat tire. Things could be a lot worse though. We had the Funkasaurus debut last Monday and I’m curious to see where that goes. I’m also curious to see what Jericho does tonight. If you are looking for some great tires check out these Tire Shops for great deals.

    We start off with Mick Foley. The great part about Mick Foley is that he can laugh at himself. Foley will be in the Royal Rumble. I will only be happy if he takes Jinder Mahal’s spot. Then he is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler berating him for taking a wrestler’s spot. And then CM Punk comes out they have a nice face off. And then Johnny Ace comes out. He says he will be impartial. True story. My wife was passed out on the couch. When Johnny Ace came out, she groaned in her sleep.

    We get footage of the tag belts changing hands. We had a nice match between the Colons &  (6 if you count Rosa Mendes. Some of you may have to think about this a little).

    Chris Jericho will be in the main event. He turns out the light and lets his jacket sparkle.

    Then we do a recap of Zack Ryder being unable to change a flat tire. Eve will accompany him to ringside. Ryder must have a member the size of Long Island cause I can’t think of any reason for Eve to still be with him after the “unable to change a flat tire” thing. Swagger destroyed Ryder and won the title.

    In the back, Johnny Ace apologizes to Zack Ryder because he wasn’t medically cleared. Then Eve gets in his face and Ace tells her to respect authority. Huh?

    R-Truth comes out and Wade Barrett interrupts him. Then after Barrett is done with his monologue, R-Truth begins his comments with ” ‘Allo, Govnuh.” Then there was a silly look at R-Truth’s trip to Disney. I hate to admit it, but I liked it. Then Miz came out followed by Sheamus. Teddy made a 4-man Over the Top Battle Royal match. R-Truth won. Nice match.

    Then Jack Swagger comes out and he’s going to face John Cena? This was never a match. It was just a beatdown. This John Cena had some fire. Then Kane told Cena he was embracing the hate. Interesting.

    We then had Brodus Clay kill JTG. Next to him is the chick whose second favorite match is Clay-Hawkins. I don’t know if this is right, but Funkasaurus is probably the best thing on Raw tonight.

    Daniel Bryan cut a nice promo about why Big Show is a horrible person. The great part is that Bryan was a heel who told the truth. I really liked that.

    The main event was really good. Jericho got tagged in, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and then walked off. Mark Henry chased Daniel Bryan to the back. And to make up for the missing person, Mick Foley came out. After the faces won, Johnny Ace came out and reversed the decision. Punk laid in to Ace about being pathetic and then walked off. Then Foley had a great face-off with Ace where Ace snapped. I had never seen Ace show that much fire before.

    This turned out to be a really good Raw. I need more like these.

  2. iMPACT Wrestling 01/12/12- Confusion and the return of Eric Bischoff

    2 Comments

    We start with a replay of the main event title match at Genesis. Where the heelish Roode kicks the ref to get disqualified to hold on the world title. Hardy twist of fate’s him and leaves a selfish Robert kissing the title.

    Roode comes out with a cocky demeanor. Taking his time as the crowd boos him for cheating Hardy. Roode wants to call out Jeff to shake his hand. But instead gets Sting. Who tells The Selfish One that he will have a rematch with Hardy tonight. But this time if Roode tries to cheat his disqualification will result in the title changing hands. Roode throws a temper tantrum before we leave for commerical break.

    We come back to a daytime promo of Crimson who is coming out of a Direct Auto Insurance location running into Morgan. They shoot the sh@# for lack of a better term about how Direct Auto is like family before Morgan reminds Crimson that they have a match tonight against the tag team Job Squad  Robbie E and Robbie T. Awkward.

    To make this sound better The two Robs don’t put up much offense considering that Robbie E keeps wanting to be tagged in when Rob T gets them down only to lose the advantage and be forced to scurry back over to Rob T. Blue Streak (Morgan & Crimson) make short work of them sending Robbie E for a double chokeslam ride to retain the belts. My how the Television title must be collecting dust for this squash. Oh and Magnus and Joe come out after the match and beat down on the champion.

    We are introduced to “The Journey of Garett Bischoff” where we go through all his battles and eventual injury leading up to his return. And that is followed up by his father Eric Bischoff coming out and reminding all of us of his greatest hits. Which more than likely ended up in the five dollar bin next to Boston, the band not the city. Garett comes out and tells his dad that he will (like a cockroach) keep coming back no matter what he does. This leads to a father son bonding session where Garett puts his hands on his dad telling him to never touch him again. Because parental child abuse and “where did he touch you on the bear?” is riveting stuff.

    We have a backstage segment where Winter and Angelina go over there accomplishments in the Knockout Division, Winter being a two time champion which lasted less than 3 weeks. And Angelina’s five knockout title wins, you know back when she wasn’t a time traveling zombie but a Beautiful Person. Winter opponent is the none other than the love birds ODB w/ EY.  We get the usual lock up from Eric Young which the crowd eats up. The sideshow continues as EY runs around the ring getting the crowd laughing. After a pretty decent match where OD grabs her boobs and slaps her ass like a monkey so many times that I think she needs to seek sexaul harassment training. All this before the obligatory run in from Angelina which is foiled by EY who Gorilla Monsoon’s her with a Airplane Spin making him and her dizzy. (overbooking) causing EY to comically drop out of the ring through the ropes. ODB capitalizes with a F5 variation called The Bam giving her the three.

    AJ Styles comes to the ring to call out Kaz to figure what happened last week to cause his partner to walk. What I proceed to witness is a married couple fight. That is until the mistress Christopher Daniels walks down to the ring to direct Kazarian out of the ring like his bitch. Laughing at AJ until she, he attacks him. Kaz pulls Daniels out of the ring.

    An Abyss and Bully Ray segment airs. Then shifts to Ray in the back with Roode who is distraught over his rematch with Hardy. Ray makes a crack about Roode being angry because Ray is trending on twitter. The Bully promises to have Roode’s back tonight as long as he gets a title shot.

    James Storm who is still livid over losing to Angle Genesis night with a cheap low blow and kick to the head, heads down where he calls out Angle. In a replay from a couple months ago Angle isn’t prepared to wrestle. But Sting tells him he has till the end of the commercial break to get ready. Angle who is almost counted out gets his but handed to him in the early part of he match until he takes control after what could be described as a good match full of reverses, competitors using the others show move and near falls leads to Storm dropping Angle with a front lung blower and following up with a super kick for three.

    World title match. Jeff makes a promo where he says he’s ending the selfish generation tonight when he wins the title. When Roode won’t step in the ring when Jeremy Borash is announcing him Hardy baseball slides out of the ring. After earlier dominance where Jeff walked Roode around throwing him into everything he can gets his hands on. That is until a misplaced steel steps jumps rattles Hardy stupid leading to a double 10 count which is when the first 10 count is restated after one of the wrestlers rolls back in. Roode takes control where he lays down Jeff with a blockbuster and the double R spinebuster. Jeff makes a comeback after a stunner and a twist of fate followed by a swanton. Just as the refs hand is coming down for three Ray pulls out the Referee. Causing Hardy to dive outside the ring after him. In all the confusion where Hardy is screaming at the entrance ramp whats going on which causes Hardy’s music to play signaling the end of the show.