Smackdown 01/13/12: Show Murders AJ
2 CommentsWow, this card is stacked. Or at least the non-spoiler version, which lists 8 matches tonight. Excellent! Let’s hop to it, shall we?
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Wow, this card is stacked. Or at least the non-spoiler version, which lists 8 matches tonight. Excellent! Let’s hop to it, shall we?
(more…)
So we begin Raw tonight.
Kane talks forever. And then Cena comes out and they brawl into the crowd. It was a pretty awesome brawl and Cena was silent. I thought the announcers did a nice job of selling the brawl.
Sheamus & Santino took on Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal. It was not a bad match. Mahal got pinned with the Cobra. Mahal, hope you like Florida, because I think you’ll be wrestling at the Impact Zone.
Miz is in the back with Johnny Ace and the never-ending cup of coffee with David Otunga.
Edge is being inducted in the Hall of Fame. So deserved.
Miz wants Mason Ryan to share needles or something.
Then Zack Ryder is hitting on Eve again and it works. Then Kane is seen lurking in the shadows.
Now Kofi Kingston is going to take on Daniel Bryan. I think it was a squash. Then Daniel Bryan celebrated like he had won the World Series. Then we had Big Show face off with Daniel Bryan.
Brodus Clay finally debuts. Holy s***! It’s the love child of Ernest “The Cat” Miller and Flash Funk. Poor Curt Hawkins.
We get Jack Swagger taking on CM Punk. Of course their match was good as we knew it would be. I also like the story they told of Dolph & Vickie getting involved. The ending just seemed kind of really weird, like a ref botch.
Miz wanted Ricardo Rodriguez to call out R-Truth for him. Ricardo Rodriguez was so awesome. Then R-Truth came out and asked Ricardo Rodriguez to sing a song. So he sang a remix of La Cucaracha. Rodriguez owned that segment.
Chris Jericho came out, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and began crying and then walked off. Brilliant.
Eve was about to go to the ring when Kane’s music hit. So Zack Ryder comes to get her and then goes to the car. The car’s tire is flat. So Ryder gets out to change the tire and leaves Eve stuck in the car. Zack Ryder has never seen a horror film. And Kane is apparently really slow.
Ziggler and Cena had a really nice match. And then, as we all knew would happen, Kane got to Zack Ryder. So Cena left the match and Kane laid him out.
All in all… I really wanted to like this Raw. But they did everything they could to make me not like it. Chalk this one up to awful.
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So Randall Keith Orton may be rushing back to action sooner than expected. Even though he describes his injury as “leaking” in his spine. Not a wise move, “Mr.” Viper. So now that that’s cleared up, time for Smackdown. Let’s hop to it, shall we?
Finally got me a new 3DS!
I’ll even post some Power Poll results at the end of the article, just because… take a wild guess who made number 1?
Let’s just get this out of the way, if you like Randy Orton… pay high attention to his involvement on Smackdown tonight since it’s the last time you are going to see him for possibly half a year.
Word on the interwebs is that he is suffering a problem with a disc in his spine, and if the six month window is accurate, will also miss WrestleMania.
I think that this bodes well for Smackdown, however, as it will force the WWE to attempt to elevate guys into and towards a top face role on the program. Both Zack Ryder, and inevitably, Dolph Ziggler can benefit. But enough about speculation, let’s hop to it, shall we?
Oh yeah, Brock Lesnar just retired from the UFC tonight… hmm…
Maybe? Perhaps?
Happy Boxing Day to you and yours. My wife made my grandmother’s recipe of macaroni and cheese tonight, so I am a very happy man. I am also coming off my post-Christmas holiday. I spent today watching the King of the Deathmatch Tournament from IWA-MidSouth II from 2011. I will simply say that I have never called anything garbage wrestling, but that was it. There were some good names there like MASADA & BJ Whitmer, but it was pretty awful. They had the stereo-typical “gay” character who set wrestling back 20 years. The announcer did nothing but imitate Joey Styles and even used insider terms. And they had no idea of the progression of matches. Every match was so hardcore, by the time you got to the main event, there was no “Holy s***, this is the main event” moment. Sometimes, you watch a promotion and think, “Hm, I’d like to see them again.” This was so bad, I don’t think I’ll be getting this year’s KOTDM Tournament.
But enough of a retread. They opened up in Chicago (in CM Punk’s hometown) with CM Punk’s music. Out came Johnny Ace dressed in CM Punk’s outfit. He tried to make a guantlet match featuring CM Punk. Then Punk tried to get Ace to accept a match with him. Groan… Punk was just missing something. Really can’t put my finger on it.
Booker T is wrestling Cody Rhodes. Again. I ended up not seeing TLC, but wasn’t I just supposed to pay money for this? It just seems like we’re getting the same matches over and over and over again. They are not squash matches if the loser looks like they have a chance of winning. The WWE product is so repetitive that there’s no newness to their matches. Booker T won. As glad as I am to see him win, why did we have to watch that?
Zack Ryder is thanking John Cena. All along Zack Ryder had it in himself.
Kelly Kelly and Big Show are hawking an app of some kind. Then Scotty Armstrong tells Big Show that Johnny Ace needs him now!
So Big Show punched David Otunga on Smackdown. Then Show said he could beat Otunga with one hand tied behind his back. I guess they are watching old nWo footage. Now Dolph and Swagger are arguing. It was pretty fun until the Planet of the Apes comment. That just sounded so 10-year-old on the playground. Ugh, just soooooooo bad.
Eve an Zack Ryder come out to the ring. They seemed to get pretty decent crowd reactions. Then there was Tyson Kidd and Nattie Neidhart. It was actually not too bad of a match. I think the referee fell out of the ring as he was making the 3rd count. How botchariffic.
Cena came out and cut a really forced promo praising the city of Chicago. He called out Kane and got The Miz. Miz wanted Cena. Cena accepted. A few minutes into the match, Miz couldn’t handle that people weren’t chanting for him. So he cuts a promo on Chicago and gets counted out. Are you f***ing kidding me? As he’s done, we get the R-Truth return. I really liked his return.
We were saved from the retro nWo match by Big Show. It was short and painless. Mark Henry came out. Daniel Bryan came out. Then it was just Big Show and David Otunga in the ring. He channeled The Giant of old and did a chokeslam like he’d just joined the nWo all over again.
Then Alberto Del Rio came out in a wheelchair. He told us all that he had a torn groin. Then the fans laughed. Classy. Then the Bellas got to fight over who could throw a party to help him recover. Awful.
Swagger jobbed first. Then he attacked Punk to wear him down for Ziggler. I liked Punk and Ziggler’s work. Ace stopped the match, distracted Punk and then Ziggler pinned Punk. What a good opportunity for Ziggler. No hate over getting to watch those two. Just that I watched this match not too long ago.
AAA’s El Zorro Kane is walking to the ring. He starts explaining and Cena’s music hit. Kane cut a very nice promo explaining why he attacked Cena. He wanted Cena to give in to the hate. I thought Kane delivered his lines very well. I just felt like I was watching Empire Strikes Back.
Overall, I’d have to say this was an awful Raw. There was nothing that got my attention for this show. The most exciting thing was R-Truth’s return. Remember yesterday when the Mavericks stunk up their home court? Let’s say the fans start booing Dirk. Does he get on the mic and ask how dare they boo him? That’s what we got with the Miz. It was uninspired, outright insulting and nothing worth seeing.
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Greetings from Virginia! Just wanted to pop in and say happy holidays to everybody.
I also wanted to jump to CM Punk and Daniel Bryan’s defense. I wouldn’t blame this week’s low ratings on them. Monday Night Football was plagued by power problems and the game ran much later than usual, with playoff implications for the Steelers, one of the more popular teams in the NFL. Let’s see how things play out for the two Champions before jumping to conclusions.
Enjoy your holiday, everyone!
Tonight is the go-home show before the holiday weekend, and probably will be left in a holding pattern. Much to my chagrin, I work late on Friday, so I was not able to catch the ROH PPV tonight. Hopefully after the craziness of the holidays dies down next week, I’ll find a way to watch it. Until then, it’s time for Smackdown. Let’s hop to it, shall we?
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Let me level with you, there IS a PPV this Sunday. Seriously. I know what you’re thinking, but I assure the TLC PPV is this Sunday. This might seem baffling if you have been watching WWE programming lately, because you’d think they’d make you care and want to tune in to see it. But they didn’t book much, or do much, and as a result… meh. Let’s just hop to it, shall we? I’m too tired.
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The fun doesn’t stop because RAW is over, no sir! WWE.com awarded even more Slammys – let’s roll!
Note: I’m not sure at this point whether these actually count or not. We’re going to pretend they do.
Outstanding Achievement in Muppet Resemblance: Sheamus and Beaker.
If these count, this is Sheamus’s third Slammy. His previous wins in 2009 for “Breakout Star of the year” and in 2010 for “Superstar/Diva most in need of makeup.”
The Pee-Wee Herman Bow Tie Award: David Otunga.
This is David Otunga’s first solo Slammy. He won as part of Nexus for the 2010 Shocker of the Year for the group’s debut.
Most Predictable Outcome of the Year: Kevin Nash jackknifing Santino
This is Kevin Nash’s first Slammy.
Guess Who’s Back? Or: Return of the Year: The Rock
This would be The Rock’s third, winning the Slammy in 1997 for New Sensation, and earlier tonight for “Game Changer of the Year” with John Cena.
Double Vision Moment of the Year: The Two Sin Caras
This is the first Slammy for both Sin Cara and Hunico.
T-Shirt of the Year: CM Punk’s “Best in the World” t-shirt, of course. Half the BWF crew owns one!
Punk’s 6th Slammy. He won the 2008 OMG Moment for cashing in Money In The Bank, 2009 Shocker of the Year for beating Jeff Hardy and sending him packing, the 2010 Despicable Me award for singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter, and earlier tonight the 2011 Pipe Bomb of the Year and Superstar of the Year awards.
WWE.com Exclusive of the Year: John Laurinaitis congratulating CM Punk.
This is Laurinaitis first actual award.
Most Regrettable Ring Attire of the Year: Michael Cole in Triple H’s clothing.
This is Michael Cole’s third Slammy. His previous wins are the 2009 “Oh My” Moment of the Year for throwing up on Chris Jericho, and the 2010 “And I Quote” line of the year.
Critter Moment of the Year: The mouse that ran by Alberto Del Rio on RAW. Seriously.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29JUCjAvf5U[/youtube]
This is the mouse’s first Slammy.
Superstar Transformation of the Year: Zack Ryder.
This is Zack’s third Slammy. The 2010 Most Annoying Catch Phrase (Woo Woo Woo You Know It), and the 2011 Trending Superstar of the Year.
I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried, folks. You can see this all for yourself over at WWE.com.
Wow, I just worked for 15 hours. So naturally, what do I want to do? Watch some Smackdown, you ask. Actually… yes. I do. See it’s “Beat the Clock” matches to determine placement in a TLC match. This is a gimmick I love. This review might be a little more convoluted than normal, however. Let’s hop to it, shall we?
Totally stolen.