Smackdown 08/10/12
Leave a CommentOh, the hell with it. Joe better be careful on BWF Radio reading what I write tonight. Let’s see how many of these I give this week:
Just hit the damn jump, Boba Haters.
Oh, the hell with it. Joe better be careful on BWF Radio reading what I write tonight. Let’s see how many of these I give this week:
Just hit the damn jump, Boba Haters.
We open with breaking news. Pyro set off during a rehearsal set the arena on fire, delaying the doors opening half an hour. No one hurt, thank God.
We recap RAW 1000 for ten minutes.
C.M. Punk is out first. Punk has taken acceptation to Jerry Lawler’s hyperbolic statement about “turning his back on the WWE universe. He sets himself Indian style on the announce desk and refers to the rock as “just one delusional man” who “wants it all to be about him.”
“This is the WWE and I am its champion.”- C.M. Punk
The Big Show comes out, and points out how the show was really all about him last week. He makes a point of Punk being unable to put Cena away in their match.
“I knocked out Cena and you STILL couldn’t beat him!”- Big Show
Cena runs out and throws fists, Big Show amscrays.
New GM AJ Lee is out to announce tonight’s main event, The Big Show vs. John Cena w/the winner getting Punk @ Summerslam.
Backstage: Daniel Bryan paces outside AJ’s door. Will he confront her?
COMMERCIAL
Guess not
US CHAMPION SANTINO MORELLA VS ALBERTO DEL RIO
The US champ gets in minimal offense as almost the whole match is Del Rio working the arm. Santino goes for the COBRA! But Del Rio sends him shoulder first into the post and gets a submission with the arm-lock.
WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO
Del Rio stands over Santino and declares that all of us are beneath him. He announces he will not wrestle again until his title match at Summerslam.
Backstage: Okay I guess Bryan WILL confront AJ.
Promo for Cena vs. Big Show
COMMERCIAL
Brodus Clay and the Funk-a-dactyls are out. Vicki comes out laughing at them.
“Let the Queen Diva show you, and all of you, how to put a step on.” – Vicki Guerro.
Vicki then puts on a quick dance show until she’s interrupted by our martyr, Damien Sandow.
“Last week, a horrible crime was perpetrated against all of humanity.”- Damien Sandow
Sandow makes us all look at the video of Degeneration-X beating him down, then proceeds to brutalize Clay.
We go to a recap of two weeks ago, when Dolph Ziggler accused Jericho of losing his touch, and ate a code-breaker, followed up by Jericho sending Ziggler into a Brogue Kick by Sheamus and another code-breaker by Jericho on Smackdown. That’s the set up for the big tag team match tonight, Dolph Ziggler and the Miz vs. Christian and Jericho.
COMMERCIAL
Bryan charges into AJs office. He starts in on her, but AJ shuts him down fast. She mentions seeing Daniel talking to the men in white coats last week and accuses him of trying to marry her just to get her committed. Daniel denies it, claiming those were his friends dressed in white to match his tux. AJ responds by booking Daniel against Sheamus tonight. Daniel asks if it’s a title match.
“No, No, No, No, NO, NO! NO! NO!” etc… – AJ Lee
We recap last week’s confrontation with Heyman, Hunter, and Stephanie McMahon. We will come back to this FIVE MORE TIMES TONIGHT.
Vote on Twitter! What kind of match should Daniel Bryan and Sheamus have tonight?
“NoHoldsBarred
#Streetfight
#Fallcountanywhere
COMMERCIAL
We come back to a recap of the fire. Doors didn’t open for thirty minutes.
Daniel Bryan comes out and demands we all stop chanting “YES!” We don’t, he goes into a tirade of NO! NO! NO!
Sheamus is out next. As he comes to the ring, we recap four weeks ago when Del Rio slammed his head into the hood of Del Rio’s car.
Lawler announces the twitter poll results, Streetfight by a landslide.
WORLD CHAMPION SHEAMUS VS DANIEL BRYAN
Brutal back and forth that spills out and up the stage. Bryan’s head gets bounced off a set-piece and Sheamus gets drop-kicked off the stage. Sheamus may have a hurt leg/ankle.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Bryan in charge but Sheamus fights back. More back/forth on the outside, until Sheamus brings weapons into it. Bryan pushes them out of the ring but eventually he uses a kendo stick on Sheamus. Sheamus gets the stick but Bryan drop-kicks him into a chair set up in the corner. More back and forth, until Bryan gets Sheamus down; and brings the steel steps into the ring. Sheamus hook Bryan into the “white noise,” but Bryan slips out. Brogue kick by Sheamus and Bryan goes down for three.
WINNER: SHEAMUS
We get a recap of Punk cutting a promo on the Rock, a promo for Cena vs. Big Show and we go to…
COMMERCIAL
We come back to Bryan holding his neck and refusing to leave the ring until he gets a doctor to look at him. Kofi and R-Truth come out (w/little Jimmy) and tell him to leave. Bryan responds by PUNT-KICKING LITTLE JIMMY OUT OF THE RING (WHICH THE CAMERA MAN ACTUALLY SELLS BY “FOLLOWING” LITTLE JIMMY!) Bryan goes off on R-truth until those nice young men in their clean white coats come out. Bryan tells them to take away R-truth, but AJ comes out to inform Bryan they’re taking him backstage for an evaluation.
COMMERCIAL
R-truth escorts Jimmy to a chair at ringside as we go to a montage of touts regarding Punk’s statements from earlier. Now they want us to tout our thoughts as to who is more unstable, AJ or Bryan.
KOFI KINGSTON VS TITUS O’NEAL
AW brings out the Prime Time Players as Cole plugs a WWE.com exclusive video of the PTP harassing Rosa at a photo-shoot.
Titus starts out strong as AW compares him to Kobe Bryant in a Colorado hotel. Kingston takes over and hits the boom-drop while R-Truth takes Darien Young off the ring hard. AW throws his shoe at Kofi, and runs off. Kofi is distracted and O’Neal hits the Lo-down for three.
WINNER: TITUS O’NEAL
Backstage: Punk isn’t wishing Cena luck in his match tonight because he doesn’t care who wins, but he advises Punk to get over the fact that he did to the Rock in one night what Cena couldn’t do in an entire year.
Cole apologizes for AW’s Kobe remark and we recap what we just saw w/Cena & Punk.
Heath Slater is in the ring and we recap Slater taking a clothesline from hell and losing to Lita last week. (Notice a theme here?) Slater challenges any current WWE superstar to come out and lose to him.
HEATH SLATER VS RANDY ORTON
Orton makes his big return. Slater actually starts off strong for a minute, but it quickly goes all Randy and ends w/an RKO.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
Backstage: Daniel Bryan is getting evaluated by a doctor in a small room. The doctor asks one question too many and D-Bry goes to critical mass w/the “YES!” chant.
COMMERCIAL
JERICHO/CHRISTIAN V DOLPH ZIGGLER/INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE MIZ
Back and forth action with neither team dominating, no one has the advantage for too long. Christian takes Miz/Ziggler down with a body press off the top rope and the heels are left lying.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Miz in control of Jericho. After trading spots, both men make a hot tag and Christian takes over on Ziggler. This is short lived and the heels are soon in control again. Christian makes a hot tag to Jericho, and this becomes all about Jericho/Miz. Miz tries for the SCF, Jericho backs him into the corner, Christian thumbs Miz in the eye (payback for Smackdown) and Jericho gets the three with the code breaker. Ziggler gets the last word however, with a suitcase to the back of Jericho.
WINNERS: CHRISTIAN AND JERICHO
Ziggler leaves everyone lying in the ring, and smirks his way up the ramp.
Side Note: Weird moment in the match where Ziggler tried a Fame-Asser and just went right over Jericho w/o contact. Fake out or botch?
We get another recap of the fire and go backstage to Daniel Bryan taking an ink-blot test. The three pics together make a goat-face and Bryan goes nuts, thinking Charlie Sheen is behind this.
As to who’s more unstable, the “tout” a-teers give it to AJ.
TENSAI VS TYSON KIDD
ALBERT CHANT!
Kidd actually looked strong here, but in the end went down for the three. HOWEVER, Tensai continued to brutalize Kidd to the point that the ref had to reverse the decision.
WINNER BY DQ: TYSON KIDD
Tensai attacked Sakamoto after the match.
Backstage: Punk has passed his exam. The doc leaves, the light goes red, and KANE introduces himself as Bryan’s new “anger management” counselor, before tossing him, by the neck, into the wall.
COMMERCIAL
C.M. Punk comes to ringside and joins the announce team.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Punk “lending his expertise” to keep the announcing unbiased.
#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: JOHN CENA VS BIG SHOW
This is our main event, ladies and gentlemen.
Big Show in charge with punches, head-butting, and body shots. He gives Cena the big slap in the corner twice, but Cena ducks a third and gets up on show for a chin-lock. Show fights out but Cena slaps it on again. Cena chokes Show down for two.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Show in control. We have a theme of Show slowly overpowering Cena and egging on the crowd, and Cena getting in brief flurries of offense before getting shut down. The climax is on the outside where Show side-steps Cena, and hurls him over the announcer table into Punk. The match ends with Cena attempting an AA and Punk striking from behind. The bell rings and Punk adds a kick to the Show’s head for good measure. Punk declares both men losers and walks off.
DOUBLE DQ: NO CONTEST
AJ comes out and declares both men winners, making the match at Summerslam a three way for the title, Punk vs. Big Show vs. John Cena.
RAW ends with C.M. Punk arguing w/a smirking AJ.
Well, here we are… hot off the heels of the 1000th episode of RAW. How am I supposed to be excited for Smackdown? The reality is that I can’t get excited. I mean consider all the awesomeness we saw!
Just one of many things you and I forgot happened on the 1000th episode of RAW.
I think I’m going to need a hand “getting to it, shall we?” this week…
It seems the last couple of months have been building up to this Monday. Meanwhile back in Smackdown Land, I’m sure most viewers are going into this just waiting for RAW. 
It’s kind of a bit of a joke though, because after next week’s Monday does the three hour tour… they are going to be scrambling for things to do to fill that extra hour. And let’s be frank for a moment here, they are having problems filling two hours. So what are we in store for tonight? A holding pattern? Two hours of vanilla tout videos? Ryback squashing someone? Momma’s being called? The answer to all of these questions is likely, “Yes,” but since it’s backstage dance time, let’s hop to it shall we?
We open up with CM Punk opening the show as Cole/King recap his match w/Daniel Bryan @ MiTB.
“This may sound a little strange coming from someone who’s straight edge, but… I LOVE LAS VEGAS!” – CM Punk
Punk takes us back to the “pipe bomb” promo of last year and talks about how a guy who looks/talks/acts like him would never have been on the first RAW, let alone champion for eight months. He plans on holding that title next week on the 1000th episode.
(more…)
Hey, it IS Friday the 13th, too.
BWF RADIO INVADED WONDERPOD TODAY! CHECK THIS OUT NOW! Wonderpod Episode 118 A challenge has been issued, Jabronis! iTunes, archive.org, article and stream.
Yes, one character seems to have taken over in a illogical way. No, not Double A (that’s the “good” product). We’re one year out from the “Summer of Punk II” shtick. Wow. This is not your Ten Year Old’s WWE. RIght Mr. Cena?
Oh yeah, remember that Zach Ryder guy? No? Me neither, but it appears he is the GM for Smackdown. Turns out the computer is more popular in the WWE’s opinion. YAWN. Oh well, here’s the magical picture part of the review and the “hopping” reference:
‘Nuff said, let’s hop to it, shall we?
We open w/a recap of last week’s main event, when AJ put the WWE heavyweight champion and his no.1 contender through a table. We get a bonus recap of the double make-out on Smackdown.
Live @ the Pepsi Center in Denver and we open with “the most controversial figure in the WWE today,” AJ in the ring.
CROWD: YES! YES! YES!
AJ is “overwhelmed” and “very emotional” over the realization that her actions as special guest ref @ Money in The Bank in the WWE championship can “greatly affect the outcome.”
SIDE NOTE: DUH
With that in mind, she asks us to welcome WWE champion CM Punk.
Cue Punk.
(more…)
It’s Tuesday, you know what that means. Wait, it’s Tuesday? What in the blue hell? I’m not even supposed to be working here today! Great American Bash? More like Holla, Holla, Playah, Holla! It’s Teddy Long time, folks. So let’s just make our way down to the ring, shall we? No hopping to it this time.
Fortunately I got to watch this with my fellow smark “Kasan” on the Stickam account “Threewaydance”. While I generally am at work when it’s live, if you want fellow wrestling fans to break down the action with live, I highly recommend checking them out.
Flowchart!
We open with a look back at last weeks RAW, when the Big Show left John Cena laying in the ring.
Michale Cole reminds us that this is show#997 and in three weeks we make it to show 1000! Lawler and Cole remind us that Money in The Bank is two weeks away.
Cena makes his entrance and the crowd goes wild (yea.) Cole and Lawler remind us Cena will be in his first ever MiTB ladder match with Show, Kane and Jericho.
Cena COULD come down vowing to turn into some vengful manimal like Dr. Johnathon Chase, but NOOOOO. He wants to THANK Show/Jericho. Jericho said Cena needed to prepare for anything that can happen. Last week was a crash course in Mitb. You have no friends, only enimies. Cena needs to be prepared for everything, from giants, singers, tables, ladders, chairs, monsters, to flying bodyparts. He promises two things will happen after MiTB…
1. Show will go home an empty handed sewage baby.
2. Cena will cash in the MiTB contract to become WWE champion.
Cue Daniel Bryan: YES! YES! YES!
Bryan didn’t even realize Cena was out there. Cena isn’t relevant to him. Wait, that’s not entirely true, because after MiTB, Bryan will be the new WWE champion; and if Cena does get the contract, he will be the first to cash it in and lose. Cena can think of at least one person who disagrees.
Cue CM Punk:
Actually John, Puk can think of a lot more than that.
Does He disagree w/Daniel? Yes!
Does John disagree w/Daniel? Yes!
Does Jerry Lawler disagree w/Daniel? YES!
Does the guy selling popcorn disagree w/Daniel? YES!
So does the crowd, and Punk leads the “YES” chant until Bryan demands someone come up with an original thought. Punk reminds Bryan that AJ will be guest ref for their title match, and will count his shoulders down for three. How’s that for original?
Punk turns to Cena and says if he wins MiTB, it’ll be down to him and Punk again.
Cue JERICHO!
That’s not an original thought Punk, here’s one; you’re still a wannabe. Punk tells Bryan not to worry about people stealing catch-phrases, it happens to him all the time.
“No offense, Mr. Best in the world.” – Jericho
“None taken, Mr. Bon Jovi.” CM Punk
He suggests Bryan try using more than one catch-phrase. Bryan tries to interupt but…
“Will You Please SHUT THE HELL UP!” – Jericho
“And let me welcome you to RAW IS JERICHO!” -Jericho
“And after tonight, none of you in this ring will ever… EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHVAH, be the same agayn.” – Jericho
Since Jericho INVENTED this match, he’s going to win it, and dares anyone to tell him otherwise.
Cue Kane
“Otherwise” – Kane
WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL it’s the Big Show!
Cena gets ready for Show, Bryan gets him from the back, and a huge but quick brawl ends with Big Show standing.
COMMERCIAL
DID YOU KNOW? When MNR made it’s debut in 1993:
KIm Kardashian – 12 yrs old
Rihanna – 4
Miley Cyrus – 2 months
Beiber – NOT BORN YET.
Me – Just waiting to die.
Chrlie Sheen will be special guest celebrity social media ambassador. #SheenGetsRaw.
PRIME TIME PLAYERS/DAVID OTUNGA/CODY RHODES vs. KOFI KINGSTON/R-TRUTH/U.S. CHAMPION SANTINO MORELLA/INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION CHRISTIAN
Basic 8 man tag with a few highspots by Kofi. We have a standoff on the outside as we go to
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Cody in control while AW cheers on his clients with his headset set for all to hear. Kofi tags in Santino who owns Otunga. AW pulls his men out of the match and call it a night. Then CODY bails on Otunga while Brodus Clay makes his way out. Everyone gets a turn tossing Otunga back into the ring, and Santion scores a COBRA! for a three count.
After a killswitch/splash combo on Otunga, we get the obligatory dance party w/kiddies and the girls.
Backstage, ALBERTO DEL RRRRRRRRRRRRRIO tries to score brownie points w/tonights interm GM Teddy Long. He tries to convince Teddy to make him no.1 contender again. Long was “axed” by the Board Of Directors to tell him they already have. Teddy made a decision of his own, to book Del Rio in a match tonight. Against who? It’s a “Teddy Long Surprise.”
COMMERCIAL
Stephanies favorite RAW recollection; her father training for the Royal Rumble during his fued w/Austin.
Cole thanks us for making RAW the longest running show in history, Lawler reminds us that on 07/23, the show goes three hours.
In the ring at this time is Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce ALBERTO DEL RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIO! ADR comes out in an expensive car as the fans chant… something less than nice (I guess) at him.
Teddy’s surprise? SIN CARA! But ADR has a surprise of his own, a running knee to the head in the middle of Cara’s entrance.
Del Rio beats Sin Cara down and gives him the arm breaker on the outside. Del Rio leaves him lying with a smirk on his face as ring personel run to his ade.
Backstage: Bryan tries to make up w/AJ and offers her a single red rose as a peace offering. AJ calls him on his bs and promises to win her match tonight and run off into the arms of who the WWE universe sees as her “soulmate.” The bit ends with AJ BITING THE HEAD OFF THE ROSE and giving Bryan back the stem.
When we come back from commercial, Paul Heyman will be with us via satellite to answer Triple H’s challenge to Brock Lesnar.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, looking at the unfolding drama between Brock Lesnar and Triple H. We see the promos from last month that end with Heyman getting laid out.
Heyman is with us LIVE via Satellite. Cole asks him will Lesnar face Triple H at SummerSlam? Heyman announces Lesnar will personally respond… in three weeks at RAW 1000. Heyman claims Triple H wants to face Lesnar at SummerSlam so he can go out “on his shield” “in a blaze of glory,” and focus on his life outside the ring. Heyman adds if the match happens…
“It’ll be a mercy killing.” – Pail Heyman
Up Next: Sheamus/AJ vs. Dolph Ziggler/Vicki Guerro
COMMERCIAL
Slam of The Week: Last week on Smackdown, Ziggler and Vicki argue, it ends w/Vicki slapping Dolph.
EXCUSE ME! Vicki introduces herself as “the most captivating, irresistable, charismatic diva to ever grace the grand stage of WWE, QUEEN DIVA – Vicki Guerrero!” She then introduces Ziggler and they make their way to the ring.
MIXED TAG MATCH: ZIGGLER/VICKI vs. AJ/SHEAMUS
We get a recap of AJ getting voted by WWE.com into a special guest ref spot at MiTB, in the Punk/Bryan WWE title match.
Sheamus is out and we get the match started. AJ goes after Vicki, but Sheamus puts her out and calms her down.
The match is pretty much what we’ve already seen so far between these two, set on fast foward. Sheamus gets set for the Brouge kick, but Ziggler tags out. Sheamus kicks Dolph out of the picture (litterally,) and AJ wraps it up with a “shining wizard” knee-lift for the three. AJ leads the crowd in a “YES” chant, and heads backstage.
AJ finds Punk on the phone and pesters him until he hangs up. She wants to know what Punk thought of her match, but Punk’s been on the phone for the last 15 minutes, he missed it. AJ leaves, hurt.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Heath Slater in the ring. We get a montage of Slater being humiliated for the past three weeks by returning legends. Slater says that’s not funny. He is not a clown!
Cue…
DOINK THE CLOWN!
Seriously, DOINK THE CLOWN!
It’s a brief, by the numbers match, but it ends with A WIN FOR SLATER!
Cue Diamond Dallas Page:
Page and Slater trade pleasantries and handshakes, until Page hits the Diamond Cutter on Slater.
We get a promo for NO HOLDS BARRED, on DVD for the first time ever tomorrow.
Up Next: Kane Vs. Big Show, NO DQ!
COMMERCIAL
We come back with a video package of Cena and Alicia Fox visiting recovering troops at Walter Reed Hospital and talking up the troops.
Promo for MiTB
NO DQ: KANE VS. BIG SHOW
The match is just a slow, dull brawl. Kane and Show hit a few rough looking spots, until Show ends it with a chokeslam on a chair to Kane. Show does sell a shoulder injury, but I can’t tell if it’s legit.
Backstage: Eve is back! She tries to butter up Teddy, but just gets a name-tag for her trouble. She comes across AJ, and recomends she leave head-games to the “grown-ups” and do “what little girls do best,” and go cry in the corner. AJ gets that look in her eyes, and runs down all the options Eve has used up, promising she’ll show her how to get attention.
COMMERCIAL
Alberto Del Rio’s most memorible monday night moment? The night De-generation X “invaded” WCW.
TENSAI (w/Sakamoto) vs. TYSON KIDD
Both men will be in the MiTB match for the World’s championship contract. Tensai beats Kidd into the corner but misses a charge, and Kidd gets a schoolboy FOR A THREE COUNT!
The match is less than a minute, and Tyson gets the win! Tensai takes it out on Sakamoto and leaves him laying.
Backstage: Bryan and Jericho attempts to make nice end in shots at each others jackets and a duel of catchphrases.
Cena and Punk discuss strategy as well. Johny C agrees to listen to Punk and follow his lead. Punk doesn’t look convinced.
COMMERCIAL
Back from the break, Tyson Kidd is talking bout his big win… until Tensai jumps him from behind and beats him wihout mercy.
CHRIS JERICHO/DANIEL BRYAN vs.JOHN CENA/CM PUNK
Jericho walks out wearing the most expensive jacket he has EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHVAH worn, according to Jerry Lawler. Bryan, Punk and Cena each get their entrances, and we’re off.
The match starts out with Punk tossing Bryan around, tag to Cena who muscles Bryan out of the ring. Jericho tags in. He and Cena play it cautious, sizing each other up. Cena shoulder-blocks Jericho off the ring, into the guard rail as we go to commercial.
COMMERCIAL
We come back w/Cena trying to fight out of the enemy corner. Jericho takes over on Cena, wearing him down. Jericho misses a lion-sault, and tags in Bryan, who kicks away at Cena in the corner. Tag to Jericho, Cena (maybe) botches a suplex attempt, and Jericho stays in control, until Cena shoves Jericho chest first into the corner. Both men make a hot tag, and Punk unloads on Bryan. Cena and Jericho take it to the back, while Punk and Bryan trade kicks and jumps. Punk scores a superplex just as AJ comes out. Punk and Bryan are too busy trading shots to notice her, so AJ pulls out a table from under the ring.
AJ sets up the table on the outside, and climbs to the top rope. She looks like she’s having second thoughts. Bryan gets between her and the table to try and stop her. Punk climbs up to talk her down.
AJ plants a big kiss on Punk, AND SHOVES HIM OFF THE ROPES! Punk lands on Bryan, taking them both through the table.
RAW ends with the WWE champion and his top challenger, layed out, while a 98 lbs. girl laughs at them both.
So that’s it for tonight. Laer this week, I will attempt to bring you a recap of each match with move by move detail (no promises.) Till next time, peace and chicken grease.
Well, the description of tonight’s episode is “examining John Cena’s role on next week’s Great American Bash.” That’s right, next week is the GAB PPV converted into what appears to be Smackdown (not RAW? Really?). Whatever, I’m already distracted enough by other stuff tonight, so maybe this will make it easier to digest this show? Let’s get to steppin’ and see what happens, shall we?
Note from G: Don’t let my sarcastic cynicism fool you, this was a pretty solid episode.