See what happens when most of the BoredWrestlingFan crew are sleep deprived. JT Hogan meets his matches in RowdyRodimus Hogan, G Hogan and Mark Noyce Hogan, dude brother. Joe channels his inner Ultimate Warrior, and Jorge channels his inner sheep lover. We find out in the news why Ric Flair hasn’t paid his ex wife her alimony, and we hear about all the roster trimming that TNA has been doing recently. What killed Matt Borne? Is Batista really in talks to come back to the WWE? Does Randall Keith Orton contradict his own statement? The answer to all these earth shattering questions and much more on BWF Radio Episode 83. Tune in!
Damien Sandow! Randall Keith Orton? The fuck? It’s all part of the plan folks. Trust me. I never lie in my Smackdown reviews. Well maybe half the time.
One thing I can say, is that I’m glad this is a go-home Smackdown episode. Nothing really will be established and I can rip through it in record time. Since I plan on hitting up the world famous Calgary Stampede for an annual day-night of debauchery, I should get my ass to Mars sooner than later anyways.
Hopping time…close enough for me!
“I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. And as J.T. Hogan has observed, it often makes more sense than the program you are actually watching. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.
– No voice over guy again this week. Perhaps since the WWE parodied TNA’s Gutcheck segment on RAW this week, they are taking a break from mimicking them? I’m taking a break from all the gimmicks I do in my reviews too, so I guess we’re even, huh WWE? I’ll still bring the gif love, though. I’m not that cruel.
– * Daniel Bryan vs. Christian. Right into the match, and Christian’s stage screen doesn’t display him as Michael Mcgillicutty as it did on RAW. Peeps versus goats, I suppose. The match has a good start, building up intensity as it should. And while we hit commercials with Christian laid outside the ring, it comes courtesy a sick looking flying knee to the head courtesy of D-Bry. Things return to messy sick moves and referee counting. He’s clearly been paying attention to Sheamus’ lessons. An amusing spot has Bryan exchanging kicks to Christian’s knee, while Christian returns the favor with slaps to the face. In a very solid match, Bryan ultimately submits Christian with a No Lock!
Oops.
– The rest of tonight’s card looks to be very redundant.
– The Ghost of Teddy Long is talking with someone on the phone, and Dolph Ziggler shows up to chat. News for Ziggler, he has the night off. Since ADR is wrestling later tonight, Teddy does not want any interference. Vickie Guerrero was fired on Monday and for some reason Teddy thinks if a run in occurs tonight he’ll be fired. The fuck? A logic gap so wide…
A goddamn broom.
– * Jey Uso vs. Seth Rollins. Getting the hype up for the pre-show Youtube match? Great. Seth Rollins more or less dominates this (as he should) to start. Jey gets a wee bit of offensive attacks in, as he “Samoas Up” no selling a few chops. Jey continues with a Rikishi-esque ass attack to a prone Rollins in the corner, and a near fall with some kind of finisher. But Rollins comes back and wraps up this four minute match. The Shield stand atop the announcer table displaying their belts.
– * Non-Title Match: Curtis Axel {C} vs. Chris Jericho. Again, potential for a good little match. But a meaningless one at that. Non-title, whoop dee doo. Notwithstanding, it’s still a highly watchable match. Paul Heyman’s facials take the cake, as the two deliver in the match. Jericho is doing his best to help make this guy (albeit, is too much damage already been done?). Axel ultimately is counted out and Jericho wins. I don’t think that helped Axel’s push at all, and I have to wonder if he will retain the title on Sunday…
That’s how it’s down. Screw the gun.
– No plot development really this week, as we just once again hop into another bout. I’m not complaining, but am having a tough time with being invested since all the matches of significance are on Sunday. Regardless, it’s a nice break from some of the crap this show can deliver on occasion.
@Charles Barkley @G: “What I’m saying, G, is that I’m convinced if I put the Kane mask on, I can win the MitB match.”
@G @Charles Barkley: “I am still convinced people will know you’re not him. Plus he’s out of the match.”
– * Ryback vs. The Miz. Yawn. FFW on 2/5. The highlight of the match is when Ryback feigns his knee injury shtick like when he couldn’t finish the match, then takes out Miz with the ShellShock. Post match he continues to sell his injury. I don’t know what to think about this.
– Backstage Renee Young interviews Unmixed Strawberry Yogurt about the All Star MitB match. Sheamus rambles on about how the Irish chased the snakes out of Ireland, and not being afraid of heights. He promises to win and take the briefcase. Then he hits on Renee a bit. Great.
Sometimes you have to slow down and smell the foot kicking you in the face.
– Teddy Long is in the ring with a whole lotta Divas for a contract signing between AJ Lee and Kaitlyn. AJ notes that no one cared about the Diva division until she won the title (sadly true). AJ is cut off from her rant by Long to shut up and sign the contract. AJ continues to berate Kaitlyn and lists off her messages to her secret admirer which buries Natalya, The Funkadactyls, and further cyber bullying. AJ attempts to use this to manipulate Kaitlyn into backing down. Nope. Kaitlyn drops the “C” word, gets a smack from AJ. So Kaitlyn shoves the table and AJ seated on the other side into the corner of the ring trapping her!! Then she proceeds to pummel the shit out of her, until Biggie Smalls pulls her off the table. Wow! That was surprisingly entertaining and awesome. Well, I’ll be damned. I’m more interested in that than anything I’ve seen tonight.
Give the guy a break, he’s dead after all.
– * Fandango vs. Wade Barrett. Another match I could give a shit about. I’ll watch it, that’s part of the deal. But not with my FULL attention. What to say here… hmm… Coulter is on commentary with Swagger and Cesaro standing looking on. Team Rhodes Scholars comes out and starts yelling at them, this distracts Barrett, and Fandango rolls up Barrett for the win. Wow.
It’s not his fault.
– Clips of the Bray Wyatt family debut on RAW. Great stuff, loved the segment. Hated the “Husky Harris” chants, but fuck those smarks. They’re probably the same pricks online complaining about the WWE not making new stars. Good job, fuckwads.
– * Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara. Why? Blue lights last seconds, fortunately, since most people hate those. Sin Cara starts heavy and hard on the offensive, and is surprisingly awesome, but that’s because it’s Dolph Ziggler under the mask. The announcers act the fool, but last time I checked, Sin Cara doesn’t have blond hair. EXCUSE ME! The fuck? Vickie is back shrieking about being fired, and that Teddy Long should be fired for this. I think, I can’t understand her. Teddy Long makes his way out. “On Monday Night, Stephanie McMahon had two words for you: You’re fired. Well, tonight I have one word for you: Security!”. She is escorted from the arena, and lord knows how in storyline mode she actually was allowed into the building. Oh well, that was surprisingly fun. Next up? Yawn.
Not so fast fella, Goat powers include amazing agility and speed.
– Teddy Long walks up to Sin Cara asking him why he’s here, thinking it was Dolph Ziggler. Then Ziggler jumps into the shot, thanking Long for the night off. Shenanigans involving Ziggler and Sin Cara? Weird. Just plain weird.
App? App? App?
– * Sheamus vs. Randy Orton (Fandango Classic Rematch!). Fuck this. Remember WHY the fans started doing the dance on the RAW after WM29? Because, this. I FFW through all of this. Until the end when Daniel Bryan runs out, pulls a ladder from beneath the ring and uses it to hit both the robot and the yogurt simultaneously. He then proceeds to go for the briefcase (for some reason), but Sheamus thwarts him. Then Christian runs in, more thwarting, but is reverse thwarted. Another reverse thwart. Daniel Bryan pushes the ladder over, tossing Captain Charisma to the outside, attempts to climb, Nope! Randall Keith Orton Cheeseburger’s the Goat and climbs for the fake MitB contract. Orton gets it, but IT MEANS NOTHING! He stares at it intensely, possibly wondering why the hell this is the end of the show.
I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.
Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet
———————————————————-
I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!
———————————————————–
Listen LIVE starting at 2 PM EST here. here on Mixlr.com.
Check out BWF Radio every week. It goes up on i-Tunes on Sunday in the late afternoon of North America
Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-HOGAN-97
Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?
———————————————————-
This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!
———————————————————–
Bored Wrestling Fan
A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!
Wonderpod Online
The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.
Cheap Heat
A go to place for professional wrestling, boxing, MMA, and other combat sports news, rumors, podcasts and so forth. Always a nice place to get your fix, or simply learn more about the performers and athletes themselves. They are one of our go to resources for news and information for BWF Radio, and we wouldn’t have it any other way to share our content with them. Great site!
———————————————————-
WTF?
———————————————————–
When will Joe noticed I changed this section? Maybe on BWF Radio, this Sunday at 2 PM EST? Which Sunday?
———————————————————-
Shameless Plugs!
———————————————————–
Bored Hockey Fan
Bored Hockey Fan is by the fans for the fans and delivers content related to hockey in any forms. We encourage similar minded people to contact us and represent their team’s POV, while retaining the rights to their work.
Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!
LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!
Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.
Hello folks, it is I, ThinkSoJoE, covering SmackDown for G, who was unavailable to cover the show this evening. He was, however, kind enough to supply me with a bunch of animated GIFs and witty captions. So, here we go, as G would say, it’s hopping time!
I watch this show as it airs every other week and live tweet it. This was not one of those weeks. So now I’m watching on DVR and typing about what happens in a semi-factual way.
I wonder why I started my review off with this particular animated gif? Perhaps the answer will be on BWF Radio this Sunday. It’s the fifth anniversary of the website.
What will happen tonight on Smackdown? Who will die? Who will live? What mysteries will be solved? The answer to all questions is “plums.” And with that, set up the hurdles. On your marks, get set, HOP!
G fails to appear for the first half of the show, leaving the rest of the crew to wonder whether or not the 75 week appearance streak would end. JT fills in for him in his absence while we relive what happened on wrestling television this week. After the break song, picked by Jorge, G returns for the news, as Joe defends himself from Ustream commenters insisting he does whatever WWE tells him to do. It’s a claim Joe denies despite tweeting while watching the WWE App during SmackDown on Friday. In the news, we hear of Hogan’s horrific injury, mourn the loss of Hector Garza, and get a detailed report from our dear friend Benson about the fan brawl during RAW. Find out what happens when you call Bully Ray a “mediocre athlete.” Has WWE been reading BWF? Joe ponders this as news of an animated Flintstones movie featuring WWE stars makes it’s way through the offices. Meanwhile, the crew attempts to uncover the identity of the mysterious “Mavenfan.” Tune in!
The Dude who invented it says it’s a soft “G”. Asshole’s calling me “soft”?
Or as he would nicely put it, “Choosy programmers choose ‘jif’.” So for all those whining and complaining that they have been wrong all along, deal with it. Just learn to speak properly. I can’t believe there is internet outrage over this. Un-fucking-believable.
And one more thing… There is also confusion on how to pronunciate the internet term, “Meme.”
[youtube 3dErjFPTarc]
Smarten up. It rhymes with “cream.” I have no clue why some people think it sounds like “Them,” or “B.B.“.
This is all more important than more normal preamble, actually. Hit the jump. Hopping time.
Normally I end my intro blah’s with “hopping time” or some variation of such. Nope. Not so much this week.
See, See? You killed him.
Gravity wins again. It’s falling down time smarks, hit the link below. I get progressively angrier and jaded during this review. Maybe it’s just this week, maybe it’s not. The ball is in the WWE’s court on this one…
See what happens when most of the BoredWrestlingFan crew are sleep deprived. JT Hogan meets his matches in RowdyRodimus Hogan, G Hogan and Mark Noyce Hogan, dude brother. Joe channels his inner Ultimate Warrior, and Jorge channels his inner sheep lover. We find out in the news why Ric Flair hasn’t paid his ex wife her alimony, and we hear about all the roster trimming that TNA has been doing recently. What killed Matt Borne? Is Batista really in talks to come back to the WWE? Does Randall Keith Orton contradict his own statement? The answer to all these earth shattering questions and much more on BWF Radio Episode 83. Tune in!
