Twenty-seven is an ominous number for rock stars. Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and several others have died at that age. It’s also a number associated with “Weird Al” Yankovic for some reason. It’s also the number of championships the man we’re here to talk about today has won during his WWE career as of press time. He’s the only person to have held all six major championships across RAW and SmackDown. He’s also the only person that Hulk Hogan has ever held a tag team championship with. I’m referring, of course, to SmackDown’s current World Heavyweight Champion, Edge.
Wait, this isnt Wednesday. What am I doing here? I’ve already posted for the week. Well, it seems that Joe didnt like my (No Wrestlemania column during WrestleMania week column), so I am here to tell you who is winning at Wrestlemania. That’s right, no predictions. I’m telling you, who will win. Let’s begin.
Intercontinental Championship
John Bradshaw Layfield (c) vs Rey Mysterio
The head says JBL wins, and with Tazz not renewing his contract, he retires again and joins JR on commentary.
The heart agrees.
the Annual Money In The Bank Ladder Match
CM Punk vs Kane vs Mark Henry vs Finlay vs MVP vs Shelton Benjamin vs Kofi Kingston vs Christian
Everyone seems to think, that this will be the first year that the winner of the MITB, will not win the title, when they do cash in the case. However, i’m going to use some logistics. Edge won the first MITB, was a heel, and won sneakily. RVD was next, was a facee, and he won at ECW One Night Stand, after challenging John Cena. CM Punk was last year’s winner, was also face, and beat Edge, sneakily.
According to the past, two faces and one heel have won. According to the current champions, two heels and one face are champions. The Champions might change, but the MITB winner is the biggest tweener in the history. The head says Kane, the heart says Kane. Kane challenges for the World Heavyweight Championship, and loses.
A 25 woman’s Diva Battle Royal including Melina, Maryse, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Eve Torres, Katie Lea Burchill, Beth Phoenix, Layla El, Rosa Mendes, Candice Michelle, Natalya, Jillian Hall, Tiffany, Tammy “Sunny” Sytch, Victoria, Molly Holly, Jackie Gayda-Hass, Mae Young and one more unannounced to crown Miss Wrestlemania.
The head and heart agree again. Whomever the unannounced Diva is.
Extreme Rules match
Jeff Hardy vs Matt Hardy
The head says Jeff. The heart doesnt care, but reluctantly says Matt.
WWE Tag Team Championship and World Tag Team Championship
Carlito and Primo (c) vs John Morrison and the Miz (c)
Again, it looks straight-forward. The head and the heart say with the second best Tag Team in wrestling today. John Morrison and the Miz.
3-on-1 Handicap Match
Chris Jericho vs Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka, Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat and ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper w/ ‘Nature Boy’ Ric Flair
The heart says Jericho.It does. However, the head says the Legends.
World Heavyweight Championship
for the love of Vickie Guerrero
Edge (c) vs John Cena vs Big Show
The stipulation of the love of Vickie Guerrero, makes the head choose Edge. However, the heart wants a new champion, theBig Show.
WWE Championship
Triple H (c) vs Randy Orton
The heart has three certain choices every year. Triple H is one of them, so the heart says Triple H. However, the head thinks this way. Why push Randy Orton up to be the big heel on campus, and not have him win the title? The head says Randy Orton.
Which leaves us just one match ….
Shawn Michaels vs the Undertaker
Mr. Wrestlemania versus the Streak. Undertaker is 16-0 at Wrestlemania, but never before, has he faced the man, whom always seems to steal the show, when it comes to Wrestlemania. How I said earlier, that the heart has three choices, and that Triple H was one? HBK and the Undertaker, are the other two, so the heart is undecided. The head however, doesn’t see the streak breaking, so the head chooses the Undertaker. The heart is torn between two, but thinks the streak could be broken. The heart chooses Shawn Michaels.
Let’s recap just what the heart and the head have chosen.
Tonight, John Cena takes on HBK, and William Regal defends the Intercontinental Championship against CM Punk, with a catch: if Regal loses by DQ, he also loses his title!
I’ve been sitting on my ass the last four hours and haven’t even thought about Armageddon until just now. There’s less than 8 minutes until the show, so I’m going to run through the card real quick and give you my predictions!
Jericho vs. Cena – World Title – Cena
Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. HHH – Edge.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio – Punk. I was going to say Mysterio, but after Punk dropped the tag titles last night, it seems more logical that he’d be in line for the Intercontinental Championship.
Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov – Kozlov
Batista vs. Randy Orton – Orton
Michelle McCool, Maria, Mickie James & Kelly Kelly vs. Victoria, Natalya, Jillian & Maryse – I didn’t even know about this one, but I’m going to say Victoria’s team.
Finlay vs. Mark Henry – Whoever wins, hopefully this will be the end of it. Which would indicate that Finlay will probably win.
Enjoy Armageddon, I’ll be around tomorrow with a review!
You guys should feel special. I’m home, and Metalocalypse is on, yet I’m gearing up to fire up the DVR and cover WWE RAW. The Slammy Awards were presented tonight and there were several matches to go along with them. I’m not in a creative writing mood at the moment, so let’s just jump right into the action!
This week’s RAW review here on BoredWrestlingFan.com is dedicated to the memory of reader JT’s cat Michael. Sorry to hear about another loss to your feline family, my friend. Tonight’s show features CM Punk taking on JBL, Kane taking on Batista, and Kofi Kingston challenging Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Championship.
Full results and analysis, after the jump! (more…)
Just wanted to give you guys a quick reminder that WWE Monday Night RAW is on at 9PM on the Sci-Fi network tonight. Confirmed matches for tonight include Batista taking on Kane, CM Punk taking on JBL, Santino Marella defending the Intercontinental Championship against Kofi Kingston, and Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix taking on Kelly Kelly. Also confirmed for tonight is a live appearance by Shawn Michaels. So don’t forget, RAW is LIVE on the Sci-Fi network tonight at 9PM, with a replay on USA at 11PM.
