Tag Archive: Kurt Angle

  1. TNA iMPACT PNTNR-review

    Leave a Comment

    We see Immortal tell Gunner not to come back to the Impact Zone. We then cut to clips hyping the “little engine” Garett train and matches as he talks of his perserverance. Wonder Years interview reiterates this fact. This of course leads to a Eric Bischoff promo in the middle of the ring talking of his sadness that after Flair’s warning, Garett continues to pursue his passion.  He makes a match, a tag team match between Gunner w/ partner vs Garett and a partner of his choosing.

    “Surprisingly” Kurt Angle comes down and cuts a promo on Garett about listening to his father and how he listened to his father and he became an olympic gold medalist. Garett looks on backstage with disgust.

    Sting is in the bathroom talking to himself in the mirror. EY walks up on him as Sting’s cracking up. Asks to do something special for ODB, Sting after finally getting Roode’s name and Eric’s separate decides to treat ODB to a Knockouts Tag team title match. EY walks away baffled.

    Knockout Tag Team Title match: Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs ODB/EY- Match starts with EY and Gail in the ring and when EY won’t hit Gail, ODB tags herself in. ODB does most of the heavy lifting throughout the match. Rayne and Gail trade tags after getting the upper hand on ODB. What happens next is a comedy of weird lewd situations. EY’s in the match and immediately grapples with Earl Hebner (ref) placing him in the corner. Gail runs up from behind only to hit the turn buckle. Eric props up Gail only to have Madison run at slam face first into Kim’s crotch. He sets them up for double airplane spins and attempts to pin Gail only to have Madison kick him. The girls getting the upper hand try to clothesline EY over the top rope only to run into ODB, who takes Madison with her outside. After Madison reverses a toss into the ring steps she grabs one of the belts and goes back in and hits EY with the belt. Eric lands on Gail in the missionary position with Earl counting the three making ODB and EY the new Knockout Tag Team champs.

    After the match EY proposes to ODB who reverses the question and Eric says “yes!” To the roar of the crowd.

    A man by the name of Joseph Parks talks with a sercurity guard about talking to iMPACT officials, Bully Ray cuts a promo on Storm backstage . And Austin Aries gets some disturbing news. Sting emailed him about taking on Zema Ion tonight. Aries goes on his internet smark routine about throwing hard earned money down the toilet by showing the X division title match on free television.

    X Division Title Match: What can I say but this is a good match performed by superior athletes who aren’t given enough to do beats the Garett Bischoff saga by a mile. And then it ends when Austin Aries ducks hair spray to the face, turning the tables and spraying Ion in the face to get disqualified. Zema Ion wins so we still have the Victory Road PPV match. Take that Internet Smarks?!

    We see Mary Sue, I mean Velvet Sky getting her hair did, when the mysterious Joseph Parks walks past questioning her. He asks about his brother Chris Parks better known as Abyss who’s been missing for some months. Velvet having no clue and surprised Abyss had a brother can’t help help Joseph. We get a jump cut to Bully Ray.

    He wants a title shot since he has taken out James Storm. Calls out Sting to make the match. Sting who has paint coating his fingers, comes down. Sting won’t allow the match with causes Ray to demand a match for the world title. Sting gives Ray a shot at Bobby Roode. But. It will be after the break.

    World Title Match: Bully Ray vs Bobby Roode (C) Roode has an argument with Sting in the back about defending the title, which Sting says “Who’s says its for the World Title?” prompting Bobby to head to the ring. Roode tries to talk down Ray who wants none of it and wants to fight. After calling Roode a punk the match starts to pick up steam. Ray and Roode trade blows with Bobby at one point bitch slapping the bully. Soon Roode gets the upper hand beating down Ray and taunting him with the trademark Ray horns. Eventually leading to Ray to power slap Bobby until he picks up momentum hitting rights and lefts and back body dropping the champ. Setting him him for the Bully bottom getting the two. Roode getting desparate goes for a spear and heads out of the ring to grab Rays wallet chain. He charges the Bully who meets him with a big boot. And just when Ray’s had enough he grabs his chain and is ready to beat Roode with it when out of the crowd comes James Storm , chasing off Ray. This all before he super kicks Roode and leaves him draped with the title unconscious.

    Garett Bischoff is talking to Wonder Years Jason Hervey about being confident about tonight but won’t divulge who his partner is.

    Crimson and Morgan are getting ready in the locker room when Joseph Park walks back asking about Abyss. Asks if they can point him in the right direction. Of course no one watches their own product and points them toward Ray but whatever. The slow heel turn of Crimson is still brewing as I assume creative really doesn’t have anyone to take on Joe/Morgan. Well besides Morgan/Crimson. They take on Robbie T and Robbie E for a #1’s contender’s match. Which is next.

    Robbie T comes out looking uncomfortable with a pink and white striped sweater. Escorting slash accompanying Robbie E to the ring. Crimson and Morgan come out to a more comfortable attire ready to go to war. Robbie E comes in first to take a beating at the hands of Crimson as he goofs to the crowd.  Realizing he can’t hand E tags in Robbie T who takes it to Crimson. Crimson starts to fight back as he reverses a choke slam, he heads back to charge T but E smacks him with the trademark clip board to the back. Allowing Robbie T to tag in Little Robbie for a double team maneuver. The talk of the undefeated streak is brought up as Robbie E flies from the top rope with a fist. He gets a one count. Then its Robbie E’s turn to get a chance at the streak as he takes a beating to Crimson finishing up with a front slam for two.  Rob Terry soon breaks out in a pose down which back fires when Crimson slams him to the canvas. Both men are down as there tag partners anxiously wait on the apron. Each tags his respective partner leading to Morgan cleaning house. Morgan stacks up the challengers in the corner and splashes them. Matt clothesline Terry outside the ring and Carbon Footprints Robbie E leading to Crimson to tag himself in and pin Robbie for the win. Morgan is visibly upset.

    AJ is talking about the ongoing feud with him and the rest of Fortune. Gunner cuts a promo with Kurt bragging about Olympic gold medalist.

    AJ comes out and talks of the importance of the 10th anniversary of Impact Wrestling. And all the allies and enemies he made. Speaking of enemies Daniels and Kaz come to the ring. After a lengthy back and forth about friendship and how AJ is to blame for his friendlessness, Styles decides to only associate with — Assholes as Mr. Anderson makes his return. Together they beat on the heels.

    Garett Bischoff heads to the back to talk to his tag team partner. Advertisement for Fan interaction at TNA.

    Main Event time, Kurt and Gunner head down to the ring. Garett heads down followed by—Jeff Hardy wearing one of the most disturbing makeup he can find. Painting veins and eyes on your eyelids makes Sting’s make up look tame in comparison. The match gets under way when Gunner and Angle charge the faces from behind, tossing Bisch Jr. outside the ring and double teaming Jeff Hardy. Jeff is taking most of the beat down as the heels tag in and out. Garett wants pacing on the apron. Finally Hardy gets the hot tag, Garett comes in and clothesline’s Angle and then smacks Gunner off the apron. Garett is on fire as he goes to work on Angle and drop kicks Gunner off the apron again. Even hitting a neckbreaker variation on Angle. Soon the heels get the upper hand as they double team Garett, as the heels throw Garett into the ropes Jeff tags himself in. Garett hits a double clothesline allowing Hardy to hit the swanton bomb on Angle for the win.

    What we have now in light of Russo’s release is a more focused show with as Eric Bischoff said has story that is planed way more in advance. Tonight wasn’t too bad and it seems Garett is getting a bigger push than ever so we’ll see coming to Lockdown.

     

     

  2. Pnt-noir Impact Wrestling Review- Kurt Angle Makes a List

    Leave a Comment

    Where are on the road to Lockdown, and what better way to start that off then with a list by Kurt Angle explaining why he hates Jeff Hardy?!

    Kurt comes out and proceeds to read off some notecards all the reasons why he hates Hardy:

    1. Hardy has long hair which he dyes different colors, Kurt Angle has none.

    2. Kurt Angle comes to autograph signings on time but when Hardy shows up late all the people in his line walk away to get an autograph from Hardy

    3. Kurt has many action figures and posters, but when he goes to kiss his boy goodnight all he sees is Hardy posters and toys in his room, and his son also has the audacity to dress like Hardy too.

    What confuses me about this make believe heel list from Angle is that with Kurt’s background as an all american Olympic good medalist wouldn’t the list he gave be only one line long “Jeff Hardy is a drug addict, and self destructive personality who is a bad influence on my son.” There he would have saved impact fans five minutes.

    It's True, It's True

    After reading his list he calls out Hardy, Jeff comes out looking annoyed like someone gave him the wrong order at a restaurant before entering the ring.  Angle tells Jeff that he wants to wrestle at Victory Road, Hardy thinks about it and slaps the Gold Medalist.  After the aforementioned bitch slap from Hardy the usual brawl insued followed by Simon Diamond, Al Snow and referees coming to ring to break it up. Jeff calls on his “Creatures of the Night” before accepting Kurt’s challenge.

    Roode shoots a promo in the back about Sting booking himself in the main event of Victory Road. And as he rants in the background we see The Greatest Man Alive, Austin Aries walk up. He concurs with Bobby telling him about his twitter comments. They decide to take a walk.

    Madison Rayne (ugh) and Gail Kim have a conversation while Rayne is hanging posters of Gail Kim. Gail wants to make up and she does this by signing Madison in a match with ODB, because that is what a good and caring friend does.

    We have a Gauntlet Match between Kazarian Daniels and AJ Styles, where if and when AJ wins he wants to know the secret that Daniels has over his head. So by stipulating this TNA is basically saying “You probably won’t know to Victory Road, or the latest Lockdown, or wait the Impact after Lockdown because ratings are more important then PPV buys.” AJ and Daniels start off the Gauntlet Match (and for those that don’t know a Gauntlet match is where a competitor faces one opponent and after he wins takes on the next until he clears both or loses to one or the other.) They have another good match filled with reversals and cool moves that have highlighted their respective matches in the past. That is until Kaz comes in and performs Fade to Black on AJ basically DQ’ing Daniels. Before covering him for the three. Kaz is to his breaking point and not even The Fallen Angel can keep him chained.

    Madison Rayne takes on ODB w/Eric this is what you expect from Rayne she takes a beating and keeps entertaining the crowd by making the face ODB look more over. Gail comes to ringside with belts in hand as I guess moral/heel support. Madison goes for her finish ODB reverses and goes for the Ba boom? Eric Young distracts the ref with his foolishness, Gail attempts to hand Madison a belt to cheat with but slips on the apron. ODB hits her move and pins Rayne for the three. Afterwards Rayne who is annoyed asks what happened as Gail apologizes.

    We have replay from Bully Ray’s failed attempt at beating up Brandon Jacobs. We then are treated to another Bully Ray makes fun of the geek girl before telling her to call him. A double and Bobby walked up and try to convince Ray that James Storm isn’t the cause of his embarassment but Sting, who because he’s the authority figure.

    Garrett Bischoff is cornered by Father, Gunner and Flair who gives his usual I’m old and senile speech that kind of sounds coherent if living on Shutter Island is your idea of normal. Garrett holds up all stoic as the heels look on in disgust. Because nepotism is nausea inducing.

    Velvet Sky has had enough and she wants her title shot. She retells the events of two weeks ago when Rayne threw her over the ropes becoming the #1 contender. Well if you whine long enough the heels will come. Sarita and Angelina?! mock Velvet before a fight breaks out. Or more like a beat down. But the flower child is coming to the rescue Mickie James who I assume is wearing a workout outfit but looks more colorful then a Puerto Rican float decides to team up for revenge on the heels later in a tag match.

    Roode, Aries and Ray come down to the ring to pout. All three after a long winded recap say their done. This of course prompts Steve to appear and question each man about abducating their respective title and paycheck. Eventually Steve sets up a six man tag main event. Ray, Aries and Roode versus Storm, Magnus and Joe.

    More updates on Jesse Sorenson with a video package with his mother about how he hopes to fight and be back in the ring soon. Now I think we’re at the point where this whole reality distortion field is being set up with Sorenson his mother and Zema Ion.

    Speaking of Ion he cuts an interview with Wonder Years, showing no remorse for the crippling and makes a comment about how he would break the interviewers neck for a bigger profile in TNA.

    X-Division Match: Zema Ion vs Shannon Moore, it is essentially a match to set up how much of a solid heel Ion is against homeless Moore. With Ink Inc. why is Shannon still there? Zema puts on a good match that results in some good spots from both men. It comes to a close when Ion hits his chin to knee buster on Moore for the pin. Ending the segment shadowing wearing the belt.

    Knockout Tag Match: The new team of Angelina and Sarita is being toted around as a new thing. I guess with Russo gone we no longer have lesbian vampires. Mickie comes out introducing Velvet with mock pigeon flapping. As we get down to business. During the match we have Mike Tenay for some reason segway to TMZ who I assume is affliated with Spike or Viacom for that matter, talking about the feud between Madonna and Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild infamy. Along with Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL. You know because commenting on the Knockout match is just not his job. We’ll eventually the announce team gets back on the ball, actually calling the match. This match makes me want a Sarita vs Mickie match which I won’t get but whatev’s. In the end Mickie lou thesz’s Sarita and they roll out of the ring. Velvet ducks a botex injection from Angelina and hits her faceplant to get the cover. The women celebrate as Mickie makes the pigeon wave again. Sidenote: Why is Mickie promoting masturbation? Just a thought.

    The search for Abyss has started. 2 months to late. but hey its TNA not Missing Persons. Abyss’s family sent a letter to the company asking for where he was. They replay Genesis and his after match beat down from Ray. Get out the milk cartons because Detectives Tenay and Taz are on the case.

    Main event time as all six men get to the ring.

    This is a good match up between a different but familiar mix of competitors. Again we have the commentators getting distracted with Taz wondering about the knockouts as Tenay hypocritcally asks Taz to focus. Joe is cornered and taking a beating until he tags in James storm who goes to work. Eventual it conscends into Storm hitting the last call on Roode and getting the pin. Storm celebrates. Until Bully Ray hits Magnus and then Storm with a chair declaring himself the #1 contender,

    Impact fades to black.

  3. BWF Radio 12

    Leave a Comment

    Joe, JT, and G are back to discuss the week that was in professional wrestling.  Today’s topics include Jesse Sorensen’s injury, Kurt Angle’s Olympic chances, RAW’s bad editing, Impact’s bad booking, and SmackDown’s bad Elimination Chamber sell.  We also discuss potential future WrestleMania opponents for The Undertaker, who might possibly attack and replace Santino, and the possibility of Santino actually winning the SmackDown Chamber match tonight.  Right click and save the link below to listen!

    BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 12

  4. TNA Impact 12-15: The Rise of Hardy and the Exodus of the Jarretts

    Leave a Comment

    We start with a promo promoting Final Resolution and its outcome.

    AJ Styles comes out for his 5 minute sudden death extension from Final Resolution against Bobby Roode. Because TNA could care less about PPV buys. After the initial 5 we have a second overtime. 30 seconds later we have Bobby Roode retaining after using a single Boston Crab on an already injured limb of Styles.

    Next we the tag tournament that teams various people together. First we have Hernandez and Robbie T taking on Abyss and Scott Steiner. Decent match which ends when Abyss black hole slams Rob Terry and allows Steiner to make the pin.

    Kurt Angle comes out to demand a rematch against James Storm. Calls out Sting who tells him that James said that he has already beaten him and is moving on to the world title picture. Angle vows to go to James hometown and attack whomever for Storm’s attention.

    Tony Nese takes on Xima Ion in a best of three series for a shot at the TNA X division title. I believe the whole purpose of this match is to build up both Nese and Ion as top contenders in the X division. And for that I have no problem with that. Xima executes 3 high impact moves on Nese before finally pinning him and shooting a cocky promo to boot.

    Jesse Neal takes on Gunner in what is I guess an excuse to write Neal off television after going on his twitter complaining about leaving. Message served as Gunner hits a DDT on the exposed concrete floor an assist by Flair sealed Jessie’s fate.

    Jeff Hardy comes to the ring and documents his victories over Jeff and the soreness that followed.Bully Ray cuts him off before reminding him that he will not be a stepping stone for Hardy.

    God… Robbie E and Douglas Williams wrestling Samoa Joe and Magnus (This all before a behind the scenes look at the too measuring each other up.) Entertaining match that really showed how well these two (Magnus and Joe) mesh. A muscle buster on Williams for the win.

    EY (Eric Young) finds out that ODB is his mystery partner.

    Devon calls out the Pope who comes to the ring with Devon’s kids. After a heated exchange Pope kicks Devon in the balls from behind. Terrence and Terrell join in holding their father as the Pope slaps on him.

    Traci comes out dressed to stress that she is a wrestler against the Killer Queen Madison Rayne.Short like a divas match ending in the weakness kick to the head I’ve seen.

    Sting calls out both Jarretts. After earlier encounters decides to fire them both.

    Roode comes to the ring to specially announce while Bully Ray wrestles Jeff Hardy (who is now the #1 contender for the TNA title belt. Okay. Bully Ray is a worker and this match ends after 2 twists of fate. Later on Ray distracts Hardy in the ring and puts him through a table. Sting emerges and is beaten down.

    End Impact.

    Final Observation: Better than the last few weeks and Impact is slowly improving and the best part I haven’t seen Hogan since the Thursday after BFG. So here is to continuity and less Russo style matches. Since you know he is still writing the show while Pritchard oversees.

  5. Late Edition: TNA Impact A Thankgiving Episode

    Leave a Comment

    After being comatose on Turkey and such, I go into IMPACT Wrestling with a heavy stomach and an even heavier heart. The show starts off with the replay of James Storm’s attack. And his subsequent search for the culprit and his reveal as Kurt Angle.  Well the show actually begins with Angle coming to the ring to what may be actual boos and not piped in heat. He cuts a promo. This of course prompts James Storm to come out and say his piece. The promo was decent Storm looked to be stumbling over some words but he presented his point. This of course leads to Storm having enough talking and now wants to fight. Which prompts heel Angle to put on the brakes and all he wants to do  is talk like a gentlemen. But if it’s a fight Storm wants he gladly provides it with Immortal w/ Daniels.

    Bully Ray, Jeff Jarrett w/ Daniels to be exact. Angle taunts Storm who proceeds to punch Kurt in the face before rolling out of the ring before anyone can touch him. Shortly after Fourtune runs out w/ Mr. Anderson and RVD. More precisely its AJ Styles, Anderson and RVD. Brawl ensues. Storm comes back in and fights Angle.  After a lengthy brawl Immortal actually retreats with Bully Ray leading the charge. Tenay announces a 8 man, 2 team elimination match main event. Team Angle vs Team Storm. And no neither Storm or Angle are wrestling due to injury so the other two men are Jeff Hardy for Team Storm and World Champion Bobby Roode for Team Angle.

    Rudy Charles and Eric Young come to the Zone with a cooler. EY asks Charles to unveil the annual Turkey Suit.

    Replay of Sting making Matt Morgan and Crimson into a tag team, and there win against Mexican America. What could this mean?

    Rematch of last weeks match. Next up Morgan/Crimson (C) vs Mexican America for the TNA Tag Titles.

    * To cut it short here,  Anarquia in similar fashion to last week is beat like a red headed step child. To the point that Hernandez is never brought into the match. And is double choke slammed for the 1,2,3. Crimson and Morgan retain.

    Backstage EY, Rudy Charles have a confrontation with Robbie E and Rob T about a match up for who wears the turkey suit. If Robbie E refuses he will be stripped of the Television title. After Robbie E and Rob T storm off, Eric Young reveals to Senior Official Rudy Charles that he made the Sting/ title stripping up.

    Karen and Traci march their way to the ring.

    The Terrible 4 (sorry Traci but…) make their way to the ring. Karen, Gail, Madison and aforementioned Traci. Karen calls out all the knockouts minus Mickie, Sarita, Rosita (since the two latinas do not exist on the roster. besides being valets) and Toxxin (because….) So basically Tara, Tessmacher, Velvet, Winter and Love. She bashes male viewers for being disgusting and that because of that there will be a knockout lingerie match. The funniest part was when she was down talking the five women for pretending to be wrestlers she was looking dead at Tara, their faces were an inch apart. Later on in the back Velvet, Tara and Tessmacher with interviewer Christy Hemme are gripping about how they thought this was a different company where athleticism mattered over showing skin. And that folks is where Pintnoir goes in to rant mode.

    These five women are flabbergasted that they have to wrestle in a lingerie match, citing without calling out WWE about mistreatment. The women in question are Tessmacher who is a former or current Hooters girl, Velvet who along with Love would come to the ring in basically a bra and panties  and Tara who just 3 three weeks ago was going all faux lesbian with Tessmacher. Don’t get me wrong about how TNA handled this their heavy handed way of telling the fans that because we wanted to see skin you will get it but we will also chastise you for making this happen because of tweets, emails and what not. Bullshi….. they have just realized that these five women do not have anything really to do.

    End rant.

    Now the match has been changed to a Thanksgiving Thong Thunder match. And will be added to TNA tradition right next to the turkey suit match.

    Rant. no energy left.

    Long story short it becomes a pose off between Velvet, Tara and Tessmacher (faces) against Madison, Winter and Love (heels). The pose off last for a few minutes before the heels attack from behind. (also noted even with less clothes on Madison still draws no reaction.) During the ruckus Earl Hebner looks as lost as Hugh Hefner at a women rights rally. Madison eventually goes for the title belt to use on Velvet when Earl is distracted, Mickie comes out takes the belt guillotines Rayne on the top rope which leads her over for the facebuster giving Velvet the win.

    Backstage Karen yells at the six women for wearing too much clothes and promises next week to supply the lingerie herself.

    Jeff Hardy comes out with wearing a hoodie and a mask. He enters the ring and grabs a microphone only for it to be revealed as Jeff Jarrett. Hardy comes out and attacks Jarrett after he cuts a promo on how Hardy is a degenerate. Immortal comes out and beats on Hardy before Fortune comes to clear the ring.  But before it ends Jarrett throws Hardy against the steel steps injuring him.

    The Turkey suit match commences. After introductions, Robbie E attacks EY outside the ring and even beats up on the suit for cheap laughs. EY eventually gets the upper hand until Rob T hands Robbie a spool kite handle???? which he uses to smack EY in the face for the win. When Rudy Charles counts the three and raises Robbie’s hand revealing the weapon the match is restarted. After a spiked piledriver Eric Young wins but Robbie E is out could so Rob T has to wear the costume  he is so enraged he chases Eric out of the ring.

    8 Man Elimination Match is next.

    Brief walks with both teams talking strategy. Roode enters after everyone else with the belt. Talks on commentary for a while while the two teams fight minus him and Hardy who is kayfabed injured. Eventually he comes to the ring when Anderson is down and gets the pin. He wrestles Styles only to get himself disqualified. Daniels rolls up RVD. This of course leaves AJ by himself against Jarret, Ray and Daniels he soon gets the upper hand leaving all four men laid out. Hardy’s music hits and he comes to the ring tags Styles and systematically eliminates Daniels and Jarret before being stopped by Ray with a boot to the face. He kicks out after 2 tags in AJ who goes for a spring board clothesline for the three. Roode sneak attacks both Jeff and AJ, standing over Styles with the belt with the movie music playing in the background.

    For what it was it was decent nothing new just an episode for fans to have something to watch while they digest. —pintnoir out.

  6. Impact- A Pintnoir Review

    3 Comments

    Welcome back to Knoxville, Tennessee! Home to Impact tonight.

    We start the show off with a Kurt Angle Promo, he proceeds to call out Roode and  brags about how he will remain the champion. Amidst the boos from Knoxville. Kurt Angle goes to leave but before he completely leaves the ramp he issues another challenge to Roode, he has put him in a handicap match against the owner Jeff Jarrett and Gunner.

    We cut backstage where Jerry Lynn, RVD, AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels are fighting. Each against their perspective Bound For Glory opponent.

    After commercial we shoot back to Daniels and Lynn beating Styles on their way to the ring. Once inside the double team beating continues until a late RVD comes for the assist. Once the match is underway it becomes a back and forth with Styles flipping outside the ring on Daniels and Lynn. Eventually leading to a styles clash to Daniels which he counters and in turn leads to Lynn getting clashed while Daniel walks back up the ramp. With an irate Styles looking on.

    Next up Samoa Joe takes on Matt Morgan. He we watch as the Samoan submission machine goes from face to heel even deeper as he goes blow for blow with Morgan only to lose in the closing moments. (as far as how he lost my computer froze, so I’ll will guess in an embarrassing fashion) Joe snaps and puts Morgan in a modified ankle lock. Just when you thought you could predict the outcome, you do and Crimson comes out to save the day. Another ramp match announcement. This time it is for BFG, a triple threat match.

    Yeah a Mexican America promo! I love this almost weekly occurrence of stereotypes. The proceed to call out Ink Inc. The usual high school banter begins on both sides about MA being hypocrites because they’re from this country. Hernandez and co don’t how to respond seeing as how minus Sarah Stock aka Sarita (who is Canadian) they attack. Usual ruckus happens with all four jumping them with Sarita in her glam face mask delivers some slaps until a ray of sunshine descends down the ramp. Christina Von Eerie! Cleaning house. Until she bumps into Hernandez who her real life boyfriend Jesse Neal takes out. Jesse ends with ” Bring all the women you want, we got ours!”

    An X division tag match between the heels Austin Aries (c) and Kid Kash vs Brian Kendrick and Jesse Sorenson. A decent match with the obligatory heel turning on each other, leading to Aries going for his belt to use on Kendrick who ducks and applies sliced bread on Aries who land face first on the belt. Win for Kendrick/Sorenson.

    Karen walks backstage with Traci by her side looking hateful. Its good to know someone is having a good time, you know with Karen all smiles.

    Obviously the knockout segment is next. Velvet, Mickie, Winter and Angelina Love come out to what I assume was some kind of tag match, similar to Vinnie Mac’s biz, but shortly after out comes Karen, Traci and (ugh) Madison Rayne kicking ass as only she can. Between Rayne’s screeching ass kissing and Karen blatantly expressing how we all feel about the current Knockout division, that no one cares. She describes having to fight to put them on the card because no one wanted them. Then she verbally assaults Velvet before being shoved Vel and tripped by Traci leading to an all out knockouts cat fight. Wow how we have devolved.

    This is the best representation of the current Division

    Bully Ray talks about how Anderson better not make him made since he is the special enforcer for his match against Steiner.

    AJ talks about how his and Daniels family aren’t speaking to each other leading to their I Quit match. Daniels comes from behind and attacks AJ choking him out with a camera cord?

    Bully Ray /Steiner come out followed by Mr Anderson. Match is usual Immortal match with interference from Ray and eventually Abyss how clocks Steiner with a chain in full view of the ref  Anderson knocks down Abyss getting the pin on Steiner. Afterwards comes the Immortal beat down on Abyss with almost every available member before Anderson comes back only to get Bubba Bombed onto a table.

    Angle backstage taunting Storm accusing Roode of knowing he was interfering in his match and pinned Storm anyway. Storm looks conflicted after he throws out Angle.

    Updated BFG card is shown along with the ascension of Roode who a hardworking wrestler, when four years ago he was a rich tycoon similar to JBL but I digress. This is TNA where Velvet is a face and has had no previous attempts at the knockout title when she had like three when she was a heel. And she really believes she was a victim? But again back to Roode rich much? (Sorry for the rant it was bothering me)

    hey if she can have a double so could Velvet. but likely not.

    Roode beats Gunner with the Crossface while Jarrett wallows on the floor with Karen looking on. Afterwards (sigh) Immortal comes to the ring. Storm attempts to help until he is over whelmed. Then the former prodigal son Hardy cleans house giving Jarrett the twist of fate.

    Jarrett yells at Hardy to leave and never come back or step foot in Philadelphia. Hardy says he’s buying his ticket.

    Hogan and Joker-Sting come out to sign the contract. Hogan refuses to sign first. but eventually signs. Bischoff comes out to say he wants revenge for Sting touching him only for Hogan to bash Sting in the back with a chair. The show closes with Hogan foot on Stings throat.

    here comes the smoke and mirrors

    Here comes BFG, hopefully this means the end of Immortal and the a Bobby Roode title run.

  7. Pintnoir’s Impact Review 10-06

    1 Comment

    Here is another rousing edition of Pintnoir’s Impact Wrestling Review. We’re a little over 10 days away from Bobby Roode vs Kurt Angle at Bound for Glory. Beer Money comes to the ring to tell the fans in Knoxville, TN (Yes in a actual arena!) that they will get a show tonight that neither man will bring nothing less than 100%, which Roode makes Storm promise is exactly what is going to be done. Here’s to another actual good closing match.

    Promo: Sting see’s a wall picture of a clown and kicks into joker mode. (God, I hope after BFG, the insane icon goes back to being just “the icon”)

    If only we could.

    Gunner comes out to the ring to face Kazarian after his attack on him last week. A decent match which ends in Gunner putting Kaz in the hospital with an arm bar submission maneuver. Essential Gunner wins the match but since he wouldn’t release the hold the victory went to Kaz.

    Anderson comes out to shoot an in ring promo about how his “assholes” have his back. This talk prompts Bully Ray to come out and in typical heel fashion leads to Ray saying that he has beaten Anderson enough and will not give him another chance. Anderson entices Ray like a dog being given a treat with the prospect of a falls counts anywhere match. Game on.

    A shout out to Community and Anderson's fanbase

    “Let the Pigeon’s loose!” A knockout tag team match is coming up. Bischoff comments on Hulk Hogan’s retirement. Kendrick babbles on while Kid Kash walks behind and decides to kick his ass because he mentioned his name.

    why does he beat on little people? Because he can.

    The Pigeons are on their mark...and getting ready

    Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs Winter (c)/Madison Rayne w/Angelina Love…take on the Sitas and you would have bulk of the entire knockout roster.

    Match is decent when its going. In heelish fashion Angelina interferes not once but twice and on the second try almost costs Winter the match only for Madison to roll in and pin Velvet while holding the trunks. *sidebar* when is this whole roll-up pin from a smaller wrestler on a larger wrestler going to stop being taken a gospel with the knockouts, it really is just embarrassing.

    Kurt Angle and Eric Bischoff are in the back talking about the screw-up Jeff Hardy and how Angle stepping out again to tell him to leave. Eric tells Angle that he’ll handle it.  Cut to the ring Eric calls out Jeff. He calls him on coming out pilled out of his gourd at Victory Road tells him to get gone, in which Hardy responds with a twist o’ fate and a screw you before running into the crowd. Ah, have to love redemption.

    Samoa Joe vs Crimson. Again. What starts as a pretty decent match with Joe dominating and Crimson getting the occasional offense leads to Joe putting Crimson in a modified ankle lock. Which Crimson reverses into a roll up pin. Crimson’s streak continues and Joe is fuming.

    Another Bobby Roode highlight promo where they talk to his mother this time about how he always wanted to be champion. It was good seeing his team Canada days with Scott D’Amore.  Here’s to Roode winning. But first he still has to face Storm.

    Roode vs Storm, a good back and forth with each wrestler scouting the other. Even having a stare off right before a commercial interrupts. (damn commercials with their making money and all.) Superplexes, top rope neckbreakers a missed Last Call from Storm eventually lead to a ref bump with caused Roode to be laid out and Storm on the outside which caused Angle to run in and throw Storm head first into the ring steps, then rolling him into the ring. Roode goes for the pin only getting a two count. This is before he pulls off the Fishermen suplex for the win.

    Hogan’s retirement was its usual cheese that he used over in Vince’s country only this time with a swerve when Sting comes to the ring all crack jokered out and shows footage of Hogan dissing the fans and admitting to snowballing them into buying merchandise and ducking Sting. Hogan is so mad that he challenges Sting not to a match but to a fight with the company on the line. Which of course Hogan regrets.

    A Dawn of a new era

     

     

     

  8. Pintnoir’s Impact Review 9-29

    6 Comments

    Here I am to take over the Impact Wrestling review. Boy do I have my work cut out for me. No Barkley or Daffney to assist.

    Sorry Daff, but the drunk tank you will stay

    We open on Impact and the continuing story of Bobby Roode’s rise to the top. Kurt Angle and Roode exchange words. Is it me or do I see a swerve coming with this whole Roode as champion pursuit?

    I know. I know I will regret this later.

    We now have the 5-man ladder match for the number one contenders match against Austin Aries for the X division gold. After a somewhat cluttered affair, where Aladdin (Kendrick) in all his Disney glory and steals a victory out from under Kid Kash.

    Go Make the street rat proud, Kendrick

    Kaz and Tracy get called out to the ring by The Jarretts, where JJ badmouths Kaz about leaving the company multiple times and how Jarrett kept taking him back despite his flip flopping. He then targets his venom on Ms Brooks for being disrespectful to his wife.  Calling her a “10 cent whore” which causes Kaz to punch Jeff. Soon security or the retired wrestlers brigade come out to separate them. It all comes to a head when Gunner comes out and F5’s Kaz. (Where’s Fourtune?)

    She slept with the owner of the company,

    Ink Inc comes out and gets jumped by Mexican America before a singles match between Hernandez and Jesse Neal could take place. After a swift beating and two big splashes by SuperMex, The Sitas spray paint NWO style on there backs the groups initials.

    Promo Flair argues with Hogan about his announcement and tells him not to do it. (Why again, would Flair care?) Next Promo is the pre match hype for Tara vs Madison for the Queen’s Qualifier’s Match. The winner taking on Velvet, Mickie and Knockout Champion Winter for the title.  Crimson returns.

    Knockouts Queen’s Qualifier Match, Madison Rayne comes out in camo wrestling gear and Tara follows with one half of the now pointless tag belts. “Accessories anyone?” What starts out to be a very promising match….sorry I couldn’t keep a straight face. Soon turns to farce when Earl Hebner gets involve and starts choosing sides. Madison uses her charms to get Earl to make calls on her behalf which leads to an eventual reveal and her luck turns for the worse only for her to win with

    She "slept" with a higher up for her old position, So tell me who is the better hoe?

    her feet on the ropes sealing Tara’s fate as her bitch.

    Even though she won't win they still show that she is an asset, and not a hinderance

    Christopher Daniels brags about his victory over Styles.

    Crimson comes out and calls out Joe. After some back in forth in which Joe calls Crimson his “bitch” a fight ensues which leads to Crimson to be put in the figure four leglock while still suffering from a fractured ankle. But don’t worry Morgan shows to save the day. After a quick clearing of the ring we have the two big men stare each other down until Morgan gives Crimson a friendly man pat on the chest.

    Next we have two underrated superstars Dinero versus Anderson. Let us make it quick. Devon’s kids interfere which causes Devon to come out. While that whole mess is going on we have Anderson in the ring at which point Ray hits him with the Singapore cane which Pope slyly picks up the victory.

    Sappy Roode promo in which I get early vibes of a wrestler’s version of Rocky. Roode makes the usual promises of training and going into BFG and winning the world title.

    Will he have what it takes to beat Apollo Angle for the World Title?

    Main Event: AJ Styles versus Bobby Roode. A really good match leading to Roode winning with a cross-face.

    Hogan comes out to announce his retirement. Or more correctly tease it for next week. Good way to try to boost ratings with a fake RETIREMENT promo. Sting listens back stage calling Hogan a academy award winning actor, Sting closes the show promising to be in Knoxville, Tennessee for the announcement.

    You know your announcement is on thin ice when even the Joker calls you on it.

    So that is all for Impact for this week. See you next week when we witness a Knoxville audience.

  9. Impact Wrestling 09/01/11

    Leave a Comment

    Impact taped two episodes on the road in Huntsville, Alabama, this week. Tonight we will be watching the wrestlers perform outside of the Impact Zone, which should make for a hot crowd… one not as jaded, ignorant, or just those who like to chant nonsense to hear themselves. If nothing else, at least I can say I made one positive observation… let’s get to it, shall we?

    (more…)

  10. Impact Wrestling Review August 25, 2011

    1 Comment

    It starts with Kurt Angle calling out Crimson who is now wearing a knee brace. Angle compliments Crimson for his courage for standing up for him but then insults him. Promises to end his career. Heel turns always make sense in TNA.  Yeah the jobber squad oh I mean Immortal come out for the weekly promo. Bully Ray proceeds to <suck> Kurt Angle’s ego with his accomplishments. Kurt tells them no interference on the part of Immortal and especially from Jeff Jarrett. <Mexican endorses Jarrett?> And a promo backstage from Jackie, ODB and Velvet they’re working together in a match against Angelina, Winter and Madison Rayne. Do I see a swerve coming on the part of ODB? Yes I do.

    Only in the Russoverse

    Eric B. Hogan and Flair talk about the craziness that is the joke…er Sting. I can’t wait for Bound for Glory.

    He could so sue. Why so nervous Sting

    So yeah I was wrong it was Sarita and Rosita. Anywho.

    five minutes later and I am still screaming what the —– It was like watching some surreal dream where everyone knew how to wrestle except the one who scored the pin. Velvet appears to be struggling to look relevant surrounded by vets and better experienced wrestlers. So instead of a double cross swerve we are treated to a face turn from Jackie and ODB, who double team suplex Angelina and drag Velvet over for the win.

    nuff said

    The X division. We have Kid Kash coming out to face Jesse Sorensen. In the beginning of an obvious feud. So the bad boy of the original X division is now going to be jobbing out to the varsity wrestler? We will have to wait and see. So after holding the tights of Sorensen he heelishly wins. After a wonderful heel promo we have personality. I like. By putting in Aries and Kash they have brought in wonderful talents who can work a crowd. So waiting to see these guys in a live event again.

    Bound for Glory series. Love the vignettes of the house shows.  Crimson, Bully Ray Bobby Roode tied for 2nd, James Storm and Gunner round out the top four.

    the Pope vs RvD, the crowd is behind Rob. Oh do I miss the days when Pope would have brought the house down. what a difference a feud makes. First Samoa now this inane drama with Devon’s family. Watching Pope get beat on is as enjoyable as watching Lavar Burton getting whipped in Roots.<its okay I’m black> And surprising like Akunta Kinta he taps out and agrees to be called Toby. Rob Van Dam beats Pope with a surfboard. RvD is now tied with Gunner for fourth. OH here comes sore loser Samoa Joe. Devon take his sweet time walking out to slowly scare away Joe. Can’t wait for the Pope vs Devon match that is so coming for Bound for Glory. <sarcasm>

    Even after all he sacrificed Levar shakes his head as the Pope has set us back 400 years.

    Robbie E. and Rob Terry have a promo were he asked him to be his bodyguard. Immortal backstage working out there arms and have a semi comic unscripted confrontation. Rosita and Sarita jump Love until Winter shows up and chokes out Rosita Hogan and Flair waddle out the ring.

    Traci Brooks and a Eric B promo, who is trying <sarcasm> his hardest not to look down her shirt.

    The two stooges come out to call out Sting. Its akin to watching Grumpy Old Men 3: The wrestling Years. Well they call out the Clown Prince  of wrestling.

    Flair says tit and I think yeah, family show. So watching these men quack enough crazy to make the Robert Young Clinic call for more beds. And its official Sting vs Hogan at BFG.

    If you’re over 50, yeah get a crazy gimmick. Good to Know.

    Thank God A.J. Styles, I have never been so happy to see a redneck in my life. He calls out Daniels. Can we say sore loser. Can he never give up is he like the Vegeta to A.J’s Goku? Of course inquiring minds want to know. Daniels questions does he have what it takes to be in TNA? The fallen Angel is crying and the crowd boos and shouts the Brisco Brothers infamous “man-up” Pity something this audience could care less about. After Days of our Lives we now return to

    yep had the same reaction when Daniels was crying.

    Immortal versus Fortune….a special BFG event. No rules. Gunner, Steiner and Ray come out only to get attacked by Storm, Styles and Roode, can we say brawl. After a series of spots, Ray pins A.J Styles for the win. Bully Ray picks up 7 points.

    Mr Anderson shows up in a hummer. And comes to the ring. takes out Steiner and Gunner, Ray and Abyss wonder to the back in confusion.

    Mickie James is angry, and can’t get into words what the hell Russo’s booking has caused her. Because evil lesbian witches are not cool. And neither is the TV title being worn by Young who is on the hunt for D lister Scott Baio. <God> Young pins Baio after jumping from a tree for the three. Next.

    Crimson vs Angle.

    This match was decent, it does include Angle who could have a match with a corpse and make it believable. But just when we might have a decision Samoa Joe comes to attack Crimson after a mini beat down Crimson comes back and clears the ring of Joe, since Angle left a minute ago.

    Will Tracy become the knockout Law? Will Mickie beat Winter? Will Daniels finally overcome A.J tune in next week and see. In a post match segment Joe beats and cripples Crimson.

    Here is to next week in front of hopeful a live crowd.