Okay, again this week, just a general run down of the show with some of my humble opinions.
First up, match results
CHRIS JERICHO DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER W/AJ LEE & BIG E. – This match-up was booked as a card-change, as Fandango made his way to the ring for what was supposed to be his fifth or sixth “debut” but got beat-down/ran-off by an angry Jericho. Ziggler made his way out with his entourage as the announcers (Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler) told us this match was scheduled for later tonight. Jericho gets the win by submission with the walls of Jericho, but gets beat down by Big E. Langston. Fandango comes back out with his dance partner (the first girl to get a call-back) and picks the bones of Big E’s kill, landing a flying leg drop on Jericho’s neck.
MARK HENRY DEF. THE USOS – The Usos actually got in enough offense with their double-teaming to get a splash off the top rope for a two-count on Henry, but the match ends with Henry scoring a World’s Strongest Slam and getting the three-count. After the match, Henry brutalizes both brothers, making it clear he did not appreciate getting splashed.
U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO (COUNT OUT) – Ricardo Rodriguez hobbles out on his crutches to introduce Del Rio. The intro falls flat, although I think it was on purpose to help sell what bad shape he’s in. The match is just a formality as both men go through the motions for about five minutes before Zeb Coulter comes out. Ricardo tries to move away, but from out of nowhere Jack Swagger grabs him, and drags him by the bad ankle over to the guard rail. Del Rio abandons his match to fight off Swagger and Cesaro gets the win by count-out. Del Rio takes his anger out on Cesaro with the cross-arm breaker.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS (TITUS O’NEAL/DARREN YOUNG)- “Pancake” Patterson is given one mention and then quietly swept under the rug. Match is just a warm-up for the champions. Ziggler and crew show up on the stage to distract the champs and give the PTP’s an opening, but the match ends with Kane choke-slamming Young for the three count.
THE MIZ DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL WADE BARRETT – Before the match, Triple H came out to do cut a promo about his Wrestlemania match with Brock Lesnar. When Barrett comes out, he blocks Triple H’s way, and demands he step aside. Trips responds with a kick to the crotch. Miz comes out while Barrett is still recuperating. During the match, Barrett’s crotch briefly becomes the focal point of the match. Barrett crotches himself on the top rope with a missed kick and Miz gets the win with the figure-four submission.
THE SHIELD DEF. KHALI, RYDER, GABRIEL – To my knowledge, this is only the third actual match the Shield have officially wrestled in. The Shield wins this with a flying knee-drop to Justin Gabriel, trapped in a “Bow and arrow” hold. After the match, Khali takes a “Shield-Bomb.” Orton comes to the ring with Sheamus, and the Big Show comes up from behind, trapping the Shield. We get a brief fight before the Shield retreat.
TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS DEF BRODUS/TENSAI – Do you honestly care? This match is barley more than a pretense for a cat-fight between the Funkadactyls and the Bella Twins. Team Rhodes Scholars get the win by three-count during the confusion.
RYBACK DEF. 3MB – This was Ryback’s effort to show-up Henry that almost back-fired. The Three Man Band actually take control of the match using their numbers advantage, but it ends with Ryback getting two men up for the “Shell-Shock” and a three-count.
AJ LEE DEF. WWE DIVAS CHAMPION KAITLYN – This match was set up during a backstage segment, where Bryan and Kane were arguing over which of them was still hung up on AJ. Kaitlyn interjected, trying to get them both to let it go, while running off a list of nasty things to say about AJ, who just happened to be eavesdropping on them. Now here’s the interesting thing. AJ sends Kaitlyn head-first into a drinking fountain, or so it seemed. Kaitlyn sold it as making contact but their was NO sound effect to indicate Kaitlyn hit the fountain. Kaitlyn comes out to the ring holding her head, and when the bell rings, Kaitlyn goes to town on AJ, dominating the match and getting in all of the offence. AJ rolls out of the ring, and Kaitlyn goes after her. Kaitlyn tries a spear, but AJ side-steps her into the guard-rail, head first. AJ gets a count-out victory, and maybe a title shot at Mania. Kaitlyn gets a possible head-trauma gimmick.
So let’s look at the rest of the show.
C.M. Punk opens the show with a game of toss with the urn, and a promo that starts off by dumping on the Undertaker and his legacy. He even goes so far as to imply the streak is only important to him as something to break. He tries to mock the Takers classic pose, but the lights go out and when they come back, Taker is wailing on Punk. Punk and Heyman run off with the urn. Seemed a bit odd to me as the first half of Punk’s promo seemed to be Punk trying to convince us that this match wasn’t as important as we might feel it was.
Sheamus gets jumped by the Shield, during an interview about whether or not he and Orton can get along with Big Show, during their Mania six-man. Orton comes after them with a chair, but he gets overwhelmed by numbers. Big Show makes the save and runs off the Shield.
Now here, I gotta go into weird territory. If you’re a long time wrestling fan, you’l probably have some idea of what I’m saying here. Booking Show to come to the rescue seems a little heavy-handed to me. It’s like WWE is trying too hard to sell us on Show’s face-turn, which is par for the course with pro wrestling in general. Even if you’re among the youngest fans, you still can’t help but notice how it’s always Show that turns the tide when Orton/Sheamus gets jumped by the Shield. So I have to ask myself, is this just the same sloppy TV writing wrestling has always suffered from? Or is WWE trying to swerve me? I’m thinking maybe they want me to watch for a double-cross by Big Show so that they can swerve me with one by Orton…or Sheamus. I know Orton’s more likely, what with him reportedly wanting a heel-turn, but you know how wrestling-sorry “sports entertainment” likes illogical swerves.
Triple H cuts a promo on Brock Lesnar, about how if you don’t expect him to end your career, you’ve already lost. He makes it clear that he is coming to kick Lesnar’s ass.
Very generic promo, giving no sense that Trips was seriously concerned that his career was over. That might’ve been the plan, so that we’re actually surprised if he loses. (Which, if he does, we will be, just not for THAT reason.) And why did he have to bitch-out Wade Barrett on his way out? (See above.)
The show ended with an elaborate Q&A with John Cena and WWE champion The Rock, featuring WWE Hall Of Fame members Booker T, Brett Hart, Dusty Rhodes and Mick Foley. The panel lobs softball questions and both men give big, impassioned speeches about how/why they will win at Mania. Cena compares himself to Donavon McNabb, the Rock tells the story of how he had to get his first mattress out of a dumpster behind a motel. Cena blames his loss to Rock last year, on his letting Rock into his head. Cena tried to finish off Rock in Rock’s home-town, with his own version of “the peoples elbow.” Allowing Rock to catch him in a rock-bottom and getting the three. Rock borrows a quote from Ric Flair, “To be the man-woo-you must beat the man,” and between the two of them, Cena will never be “the man.”
I’m sorry to say this but I was underwhelmed. No new ground covered here, except for maybe when Cena “revealed” why he lost last year. I’m not a fan of “sports entertainment” trying to go into “deep, psychological,” story-lines, and I’m not moved by Cena’s need for redemption.
Overall, a pretty “meh” RAW. It did what it was supposed to do, advance the angles going into Wrestlemania, but it still felt like an auto-pilot show. That’s not always bad, but not the speed you want going into the biggest PPV of the year.
Hello everyone! Tonight is that special night once a year where Superstars and Divas – and now Guest Hosts/Stars? – are given that award that they all hope to attain! A championship?! Don’t be silly!! The Slammy for… Whatever Category They’re Nominated In!! And, because someone, somewhere loves me, here are the categories and nominees!
SHOCKER OF THE YEAR! The Miz cashes in Money in the Bank and becomes the WWE Champion
Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho in the head
The Nexus debuts
Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker
KNUCKLEHEAD MOMENT OF THE YEAR Big Show unmasks a bald CM Punk
Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov
Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble
Lay-Cool gets beaten by Mae Young
DESPICABLE ME AWARD CM Punk sings Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
Drew McIntyre faces and humiliates Teddy Long
Kane buries The Undertaker alive
Mr. McMahon makes truce with Bret Hart, then kicks him in the groin
HOLY %&^*%&* MOVE OF THE YEAR Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with a leg drop off ladder through announce table
John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments
Randy Orton delivers an RKO to a flying Evan Bourne
John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz
GUEST STAR SHINING MOMENT OF THE YEAR Wayne Brady gets RKO’d by Randy Orton
Pee-Wee Herman vs The Miz
Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho
William Shatner sings WWE Entrance Themes
“OH SNAP” MELTDOWN OF THE YEAR Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies
Edge destroys the RAW GM’s laptop
Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with a steel chair
Batista quits WWE
WWE MOMENT OF THE YEAR Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind with a lead pipe
Edge Spears Chris Jericho through the barricade
The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels in Michaels’ final match
John Cena counts 1-2-3 as Orton defeats Barrett and Cena is fired from WWE
As well as these categories, there’s also Diva of the Year and Superstar of the Year! But, alongside the Slammys tonight, we also have to find out what Wade Barrett’s decision is concerning Nexus. Will he rehire John Cena, or will he be outcast from the Nexus?
However, before RAW went on the air, the following Superstars won the following awards:
Best Performance By a Winged SpecimenRAW Chicken Best Use of Exercise Equipment Rosa Mendes – Shake Weight Most Menacing Haircut Tyler Reks Best Family Values Kane destroying Swagger Sr. as Jack Swagger looks on Superstar/Diva Most in Need of Makeup Sheamus The “Cole in Your Stocking Award” Daniel Bryan attacking Michael Cole on NXT Outstanding Achievement in Baby Oil Application“Dashing” Cody Rhodes Frequent Tweeter Award Goldust Best WWE.Com Exclusive Show WWE NXT <-Because this needed a category… Most Annoying Catchphrase Zack Ryder’s Woo Woo Woo, You Know It
David Arquette is introduced, and says that there’s no one better to kick of the Slammy Awards than him. Arquette says that he beat Eric Bischoff, and then says that he should have won an Oscar for his role in “Ready to Rumble”. The first category of the Slammys is the Shocker of the Year! Is it The Miz cashing in on Orton? The Nexus debuting? Paul Bearer’s turn against the Undertaker? Or, will it be Randy Orton punting Chris Jericho in the skull?
Wade Barrett comes out and says nothing for a few minutes. Then, he speaks and says he accepts it on behalf of the Nexus. Of course, the Nexus wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for him. If he wouldn’t have won NXT Season One and brought them with him, then they wouldn’t have become the most powerful group in the history of the WWE. And speaking of power, he is the one man with the power to rehire John Cena. Of course, the other members of Nexus have informed him that if he fails to rehire Cena, he’ll be excommunicated from the group. That is, of course, the group he created. He hasn’t made up his mind yet, but he will be making his decision before the night is over. In the mean time, everyone can rest assured that Barrett will be creating many more shocking moments in the WWE.
“Mr. Barrett, I’m going to give you the opportunity to give us yet another shocking moment in a match right now against this man.”
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, it’s a Big Show!
Wade Barrett vs The Big Show
Big Show took Wade’s Slammy, and Barrett looks upset. Punk says that Show thinks there is chocolate under the Slammy, which is why he took it.
Show goes for Barrett, but Barrett ducks under the rope. And then again. Barrett then slides out of the ring and walks around it. The ref starts counting. Barrett gets back in the ring at nine. Show then fakes a hit and kicks Barrett on the stomach, then smacks him hard in the chest. Show then goes to do it again, but Barrett pokes Show in the eye. Barrett takes advantage and attacks the legs. Show misses with a right hand, and Barrett continues to attack his legs. The crowd has a Cena chant going, and Show swats Barrett away from him. Barrett gets show on one knee, but Show gets up and is pissed, throwing Barrett all over the ring, and then out of it. Show climbs out and smacks Barrett again. Barrett is thrown back in the ring, and Show makes his way in as well. Barrett rolls back out and grabs his Slammy. Then, he proceeds to walk out of the match.
Big Show wins by count out.
The Superstar of the Year Nominees are Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, Edge, John Cena, World Heavyweight Champion Kane, and WWE Champion The Miz.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi ‘It’s not fair! It’s not fair!’ Bitch, this is professional wrestling, not dodgeball. #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 did I just see ANGRY MIZ girl in the crowd??? #WWE #RAW #Slammies
Oh God. And again, the Diva of the Year will be determined in a battle royal… again.
Kelly Kelly’s presenting Despicable Me Slammy of the Year with Tyson Kidd and Jackson Andrews, or whatever his name was.
God, it’s been so long since I’ve had to listen to Kelly Kelly talk, and she still sounds disgustingly stupid. And I agree with Tyson as he congratulates her for using more big words right now than ever in her life. I like Tyson now. The nominees are: Drew McIntyre humiliating Teddy Long (I want this one, just for Drew to talk to me), Kane burying the Undertaker alive, Mr. McMahon turning on Bret Hart after seeming to accept him, or CM Punk singing happy birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.
CM PUNK!
The crowd doesn’t seem to know whether to cheer or boo him.
Punk says this just goes to prove that if you work hard and believe in yourself, you’ll make all your dreams come true. People ask him why he did it, and he did what he did because Rey wronged Punk, and when people wrong him, he gets even. Right now, there’s another individual who has wronged him, and he’s going to talk specifically to this person, so he wants them to watch their back, because he will get even. And if you think what he did to Rey and his family was despicable, you haven’t seen anything yet.
Kofi comes out, and Punk says that it’s his moment.
<COMMERCIAL>
@WWEsAngel_Nef LMAO @ CM Punk #wwe #slammys Punk is fkn gold man!
@kickoutblog Quite convenient that the Despicable Me award is one day before the movie comes out on DVD.
@xescapeartists Did Tyson just make fun of Kelly Kelly? OMG TYSON. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. And Kelly, you suck on the microphone. kthnks.
@redsandman99 And the Bellas STILL think Daniel Bryan is the guest host!
Kofi Kingston and United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler and Ted DiBiase with Maryse
Daniel and Dolph start out, Ziggler with Bryan in a headlock. Bryan fights out with elbows, but Ziggler takes him down, only for Bryan to kick out of the cover. Ziggler tags in DiBiase, who holds Bryan against the ropes, distracting the ref while Ziggler delivers a cheap shot. DiBiase goes for two covers in a row, but Bryan kicked out. DiBiase tags in Ziggler, who runs right in and goes for a cover, only for Bryan to kick off. Ziggler tags in DiBiase again, and kicks Bryan in the stomach. DiBiase goes for another cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. DiBiase gets Bryan in a headlock, and Bryan kicks out, ducking two clotheslines, and then both men running into one another in a cross body. DiBiase rolled right out of the ring, and Bryan tags in Kingston. Ziggler comes in, only to get a bunch of kicks to the face. Kingston Boom Drops Ziggler and then calls for the Trouble in Paradise, which connects. Kingston goes for the cover and DiBiase just barely misses breaking the cover before the ref smacks the mat in three.
Kofi Kingston and the United States Champion Daniel Bryan win via pinfall.
Later to come, Sheamus and John Morrison meet one on one.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog But speaking of Despicable Me… IT’S SO FLUFFY!
@Niki_Sushi Vickie, Bellas, Daniel, Kofi…this could only get worse if Truth came out. #BWF #RAW
@WWEsAngel_Nef I love how everyone has a woman at ringside except Kofi. Maybe he should ask DB if he can borrow a Bella Theres enough 2 go around #bwf #wwe
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov are going to present Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year! Santino says that once again RAW was host to top performers in sports and entertainment. Santino says that Kozlov was humiliated by the cast of MacGruber, and then Kozlov says the time that he destroyed Santino. Santino apologizes, kisses his cheeks, and then steps away from an angry looking Kozlov. The Nominees are Mike Tyson for punching out Chris Jericho, Pee Wee Herman vs The Miz, Wayne Brady getting an RKO, or William Shatner singing Superstar Entrance Themes.
Via satellite, Pee Wee says he just received word that he won. He’s never won anything like that before and he’s overwhelmed, and he’d like to thank The Miz, Big Show (AKA Big Pee Wee), and he’s ready to come back anytime, and it’s incredible, and he’s going to burst, and thank you, and all that good stuff.
Backstage, Barrett puts his Slammy up and is confronted by Nexus. Otunga says they want his decision. If he doesn’t hire Cena back, Nexus will be just fine, but Otunga can’t say the same thing for Barrett. Taking that beating from Show didn’t look too promising for Barrett’s singles career. Barrett thanks Otunga for opening his eyes and says he knows exactly what he has to do.
<COMMERCIAL>
@JoeyStyles William Shatner was robbed of a Slammy
@WWEsAngel_Nef WILLIAM SHATNER WAS ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #WWE #bwf #Slammys
@RingsideRants That crowd could not care less about Pee Wee Herman.
@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville should win, just for knocking Ted on his ass. I’m just saying. #BWF #RAW
Mark Henry vs. “Dashing” Cody Rhodes
Rhodes can’t even get his jacket out of the ring before Henry runs after him. Henry goes after Rhodes, and Rhodes ducks under the ropes. Rhodes ducks a clothesline, and then is thrown across the ring, and then is hit with a clothesline. Henry then screws with Rhodes’ face, and Rhodes goes Hulk on him. Rhodes rips Henry and then jumps all over him, literally, and then puts him in a headlock. Henry refuses to submit, and manages to get up to his feet. Rhodes goes to kick him, but Henry pushes him back and then clotheslines him a few times. Rhodes thrown into the corner, and then gets Henry’s giant ass in his stomach. Henry goes to do it again and Rhodes hits Beautiful Disaster, then takes him down. Rhodes then jumps off the top rope and plants his knee in Henry’s spine for the win.
“Dashing” Cody Rhodes wins via pinfall.
Next up is the Holy %&^*%&* Move of the Year.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi I really… really… want some kool-aid right now. HE’S DANCING MY FACE, DAMMIT! >:O #BWF #RAW
@seraphalexiel At this point, I’m positive that a win over Mark Henry should no longer be considered an upset victory
Jerry “The King” Lawler is presenting us with the next award!… along with Vickie Guerrero. Don’t worry, King, you aren’t the only one upset. King says he’s glad to see Vickie and he’s lucky to be there, because he was up all night with his pet lizard who had reptile dysfunction. I laughed. Vickie says Holy…. Is the exact reaction she had when Cole caused Jerry the WWE Championship. King says that that’s probably the reaction Ziggler has when she models lingerie, or goes into the restaurant and says she’ll take it when given the menu. Vickie says she’s lost weight, and Jerry says to look around, and she’ll find it.
Nominees! Morrison jumps off the set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz, Kingston leg drops Drew off a ladder through the announce table, Cena AA’s Batista through the stage, and Randy RKO’s Evan in midair.
John Cena! King says hold up, because Cena is fired and can’t be there, so they’re going to accept it.
Barrett comes out and says that he’ll take that. If Cena wants it, he can come and get it. The whole world is hanging on Barrett’s every word, because he’s about to decide whether or not to rehire John Cena. Barrett says his decision is… … … … Barrett says that he’s not going to make his decision unless John Cena comes down to the ring and faces him. The crowd starts screaming and Barrett’s eyes dart around to try to find Cena. Cena hugs a bunch of people and high fives people and makes his way to the ring. Barrett tells him to keep his distance, and that if Cena attacks him now, his decision will be obvious. Barrett says that he’s thought long and hard about this decision, and it affects a lot of people: Cena, Barrett, and the Nexus. The Nexus comes out, but John doesn’t seem scared. Nexus surrounds the ring again. All these long pauses of silence are getting on my nerves. Barrett says that Cena is officially rehired… on two conditions: 1) Cena agrees to face Barrett this Sunday at TLC in a chair match, which Cena agrees to. 2) Cena gives the whole world what they’ve been waiting to see: Tonight, he goes one-on-one with David Otunga. Otunga looks shocked, but Cena laughs and agrees to that too. Barrett says he wants to show Cena exactly why he wanted to rehire him. And Nexus climbs up on the apron, and Cena fights, and Nexus gangs up on him. Barrett slides in the ring with a steel chair, and smacks Cena with it when he goes to get up. Then again. Barrett and Nexus leave the ring. Welcome back, Cena.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi Slipped that carpet right out from under Mr. Orange Face, now didn’t he? #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 “Paging Wade Barrett…paging Wade Barrett….you can claim your testicles at the ticket office. ” #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy
Next week is WWE Week on USA! Monday night at 9 is RAW, Tuesday night at 9 is Smackdown, LIVE, and Tribute to the Troops is Wednesday at 8!!
David Arquette is back, with a change of clothes, to say something: he’s opening a theater at the historic Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. They’ll be debuting on Valentine’s Day 2011. He wants to introduce the WWE Universe Fan Reaction of the Year. This encapsulates what makes the WWE Universe so great. Nominees: Weird Kid Reacting to Cena joining Nexus. Loser Crying when Shawn Michaels’ career ended at Wrestlemania, some Kid, and then the Angry Miz Girl.
I officially hate her. She thanks her dad and her sister, and-
AWESOME
I really hate her right now.
Miz kneels in front of her, to a rather unimpressed face, and asks if she remembers him. He says she looks so pretty, and compliments her Slammy. He asks if he can take a look at her Slammy, and the girl looks half dead. He says that he should take it for safe-keeping, and then asks if she can do him a favor: show him the face, and then mocks her for the face. He makes Riley hold it, and says that he deserves a Slammy, not a nine-year-old girl. Nobody’s worked harder than him. He’s held the United States, Unified Tag Team, Money in the Bank, and WWE Championships. That’s called a Grand Slam. He finds it amazing that tonight is the Slammys when there are still three weeks left in the year, because if you want a moment of the year, tune in this Sunday to TLC where he’ll beat Orton so bad, Orton will beg him to put him through a table. He’ll prove why Miz is the reason they’re here tonight-
“I decided that six days before your tables match at TLC, both you and Randy Orton are going to face former champions tonight. And Miz, your match against a former World Champion, begins right now.”
WWE Champion The Miz vs Rey Mysterio
Miz and Rey go to lock up, but Miz kicks Rey, then beats him into the corner. Miz then whips Rey across the ring, but Rey throws him out of the ring, and then sentons him outside the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi It’s like taking a Slammy from a very angry 9 year old girl who would love nothing more than to beat you to death with it. #BWF #RAW
@kickoutblog Did Miz just steal Miz Girl’s Slammy?! Hilarious.
@HitTheRopes Where’s Kalee’s dad? Just for realism, dad should have gotten in Miz’s face. #wwe
@TKeep123 ANGRY MIZ GIRL…..LIVE!!! ….and she WINS!! …and she still ain’t happy! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy
@AngryGirlWWE I WIN! I WIN!!!!! #angrygirlwwe
@RingsideRants Miz Girl is a better actress than Dixie Carter.
We come back to Rey fighting and throwing Miz across the ring. Miz went to counter one of Rey’s moves, but Rey countered that one. Rey shoves Miz into the ropes and gets ready for the 619, but Alberto Del Rio interrupts, and Miz climbs out of the ring. Rey slides out of the ring, but gets face planted into the apron by Miz. Miz throws him back in and goes for a cover, but Rey kicks out at two. Miz dominates Rey, putting him up on the top rope, and climbing up after him. Miz sets up a suplex, but Rey throws him off and hits a seated senton, then flies into a lateral press on Miz. Miz shoves Rey back and then kicks him in the stomach. Rey kicks him in the head and Miz kicks out of the pin. Miz goes to hit him, but Rey gets a drop toe hold on Miz and goes for the 619, but Alberto is on the apron and distracts him. Rey set s up again, but Riley distracts the ref and Alberto takes Rey down. Miz sneaks up a cover.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.
Rey chases Alberto Del Rio down the ramp.
“As I said earlier, both The Miz and Randy Orton will face former champions tonight. Miz just faced Rey Mysterio and later tonight, Randy Orton will compete in a handicapped match against Alex Riley and his partner, former WCW World Heavyweight Champion, David Arquette.”
Well, way to give a match to Randy. Because legitimately building up momentum is overrated.
Still to come, the Diva Clusterfuck Battle Royal for the Diva of the Year Slammy. And John Morrison and Sheamus have yet another match next.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Miz Girl should do a run-in and cost Miz the match.
@TKeep123 Is it wrong I’m looking forward to the Cross-brand DIVA Battle Royal? …Ok, and hoping for wardrobe malfunction? #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy
Edge is here to give out the Slammy for the Oh SNAP! Meltdown of the Year, a category he is nominated for. He says that it’s an honor to be out there tonight to present the Slammy and he’s pretty sure Kane was supposed to be his co-presenter tonight because he’s probably having a Meltdown of his own right now. Right now, Edge needs a co-presenter, one he’s comfortable with, one that he knows well and has had chemistry with…
If you close your eyes you’ll find naked truth revealed…
I marked out right here. I really did. Edge asks how his pec is and Christian says it’s fine. Christian says that he hopes Del Rio wins, because he and his Peeps haven’t forgotten what happened. The nominees are: Show destroying Swagger’s trophies, Alberto del Rio freaking out all over Rey Mysterio, Edge destroying the RAW General Manager’s laptop (“You’ve got the crazy eyes!”), or Batista quitting the WWE.
Edge!!
Edge says that he appreciates the Slammy, but for Meltdown of the Year? He doesn’t get it. He’s always been calm and rational, but sure he may have lost his cool a few times because of a RAW General Manager who hides behind a computer, and has no guts and Christian tries to stop Edge. Christian’s phone goes off and he says that he’s just received an email… nah, just kidding. He is the RAW General Manager.
Sunday, Edge will be the World Heavyweight Champion, but after all these years one thing has remained the same: Michael Cole is still a massive tool.
King Sheamus vs John Morrison
Sheamus shoves Morrison right into the corner, then slaps him hard, and then proceeds to just beat the hell out of Morrison. Morrison then beats the crap out of Sheamus. Sheamus goes right through the damn ref to get to Morrison, then Morrison gets the momentum… I don’t even know.
Nobody wins due to double count out.
More refs come out to try to get them apart, but the two of them are vowing death to the other, but still.
“Sheamus, Morrison, it’s obvious this issue of yours isn’t going to be resolved tonight, so I’ve decided to raise the stakes. Not only will the two of you will compete at TLC Sunday, but the winner will become the next Number One Contender to the WWE Championship. The winner will be the man who gets the contract that is suspended above the ring. That’s right, the two of you will compete in a Number One Contender’s Ladder Match.”
Sheamus yells at Cole, then grabs a ladder. He then slams it into Morrison, who walked right the hell into it, and then climbs in the right to further beat the hell out of Morrison, and throws him out of the ring, into the ladder.
Still to come, Randy will face Riley and Arquette, Cena and Otunga will face up.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi How do you win an award for beating up a computer? How do you win an award for puking on someone? The same way, akshully. #BWF #RAW
@seraphalexiel Honestly, I would have preferred if Del Rio and Mysterio got the ladder match
@RingsideRants Oh damn…. a potential Morrison-Miz title program in the works??
@kickoutblog Christian > Edge. Always
@WWEsAngel_Nef Why yes. Yes you are a tool Michael Cole. Edge is ftfw! #WWE #bwf #Slammys
@TKeep123 Christian get’s a Anonymous GM message on his iPhone … ok, just kidding! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy
@HitTheRopes Damn, that sh*t had to hurt! #Sheamus #Morrison #wwe
Presenting the Slammy for Knucklehead Moment of the Year is… JTG and William Regal? SERIOUSLY?! I love Regal, but seriously? With JTG? Regal at least just shakes his head at JTG.
Nominees: Show unmasks a bald CM Punk, Mae Young PWNS Lay-Cool, Beth Phoenix eliminates Khali via… kiss?!, and Santino Marella is out-danced by… Vladimir Kozlov?!
Mae Young beating LayCool… But Lay Cool is totally here. God. Layla says she’d thank Mae Young, but they don’t get basic cable at the nursing home, and the award is Flawless.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes JTG screws up the announcement. #ReadingReadingYeahYeah
@WWEsAngel_Nef You know JTG needs to fire that gimmick and be more Regal ish. #bwf #WWE #Slammys
@kickoutblog A battle royal to determine Diva of the Year? Doesn’t that just determine the Diva of December 13th?
Diva Clusterfuck Battle Royal to determine Diva of the Year
Layla, Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Maryse, Brie and Nikki Bella, Melina, Eve Torres, Diva’s Champion Natalya, Gail Kim, Kaitlyn, and Tamina? Anyway, Kaitlyn and Rosa are eliminated first, Tamina, Bella Whore 1, Eve Torres, Bella Whore 2, Maryse, Kelly Kelly, Melina (after a Glam Slam into the ropes), Layla, Beth Phoenix, Gail, Alicia Fox, and Diva’s Champion Natalya.
Michelle McCool wins.
“Celebrate all you want tonight, ladies, but this Sunday may be a different story. At TLC, LayCool will meet WWE Diva’s Champion Natalya and her partner, Beth Phoenix, in the first ever Diva’s Table Match.”
Next up, Edge takes on Jack Swagger.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog How long have they been using the “HERE COME ALL THE DIVAS!!” music? It needs to go
@Niki_Sushi …. I think LayCool just got royally fucked. #justsayin #BWF #RAW
@seraphalexiel Wait. Did they say Divas tag team tables match? Did I hear that right? DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?
I’m a horrible person for continuing to laugh at Kane pushing Paul Bearer off the edge of the second floor… I really am.
You think you know me…
Edge vs Jack Swagger
Edge and Swagger lock up, but Swagger gets the momentum and slams Edge down to the ground. Swagger keeps momentum over Edge, throwing Edge across the ring and into the opposite corner. Edge, however, takes no shit, and beats Swagger, who manages to come back by dropping Edge stomach-first into his knee. Swagger goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Swagger then puts Edge in… a submission my brain isn’t providing a name for right now, but Edge fights to his feet and then eats the heel of Swagger’s boot. Swagger goes for another cover, but Edge kicks out. Here, Cole points out to us that TLC means Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Thanks Cole! :B Edge fights off of Swagger’s shoulders and drops Swagger straight to the mat. Edge ducks a clothesline and slams into Swagger before dropping him to the mat and going for a cover. Swagger kicks out at two, and Edge goes to Whip him, but gets thrown to the mat, and he kicks out of Swagger’s cover at two. Swagger runs across the ring and goes to drop on Edge, but Edge lifts his legs and Swagger tries to lock in the ankle lock, but Edge rolls over. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench Powerbomb, which we haven’t seen in forever, and Edge counters out of it, dropping Swagger to the ground. He sets up for the Spear and hits it.
Edge wins via pinfall.
WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley are backstage talking about David Arquette. Miz says that he’ll be out there too. Arquette runs up and says that he and Miz have a lot in common: they have Hollywood careers, they’re both awesome. Riley says that Orton is dangerous and Arquette is delusional. Miz says he has one goal in mind: To put Orton through a table.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Edge vs. Jack Swagger will be preempted for Jack Swagger vs. his t-shirt.
@Niki_Sushi I’ve always wondered what exactly they stare off into the distance at… is there a target saying ‘LOOK HERE’? #BWF #RAW
@TKeep123 Edge v. Swagger …not a bad match tonight! Edge wins! THPEAR! THPEAR! THPEAR! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy
Cool Smackdown vs RAW 2011 award thing.
WWE Moment of the Year Slammy will be presented by The Big Show! Show walks over to get a better mic, and says that there are many legendary moments in the WWE, and here are this year’s nominees: Cena rules fairly and is fired from the WWE. Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind during Triple H’s farewell speech. Edge Spears Jericho through the barrier. Shawn Michaels’ final match against The Undertaker.
Shawn Michaels!
Shawn couldn’t be here tonight, but he is on the Tron!!! Shawn says he can’t give away his location for fear the WWE would try to get him to come back, and he thanks everyone for making his life worth living, and Shawn tweeted that this part was taped earlier, so it’s NOT LIVE YOU LIARS! Shawn thanks everyone for the ride, and says that he doesn’t miss it, but misses the fans. Hopefully, we can all see each other very soon, and says good luck!
Later tonight, Cena takes on Otunga. Up next, Randy Orton will get great momentum going into TLC by defeating these two nobodies in Riley and Arquette… I mean… Will have a match.
<COMMERCIAL>
@FrankWWEClown The moment of the year HAS to be HBK/Taker. I was blessed to see it live, and I will never forget it. Brought tears to my eyes. #WWE
@TKeep123 Birth of AUSTIN 3:16 ….. still sends a chill down my spine.. Thank you Steve Austin! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy
@seraphalexiel Shawn Michaels, you were like no other. I’m happy that you’re happy. Thank you for everything
I hear voices in my head…
Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley and David Arquette
Looks like Riley will start out with Orton, because he didn’t learn last week, and the two go to lock up, but Orton is obviously pissed, and he beats the hell out of Riley in the corner. He then Whips Riley, who counters it, and then Riley is smacked to the ground. Orton uppercuts him, then goes for the cover, but Riley kicks out at two. Riley is then hurled around the ring, but Orton runs right into Riley’s feet. Arquette gets tagged in and jumps on Orton, who looks at him like he’s an idiot, and then kicks him in the stomach. Orton starts pounding the mat, and wisely tags in Riley who looks at him like he’s an idiot, but Orton drops him in a back breaker. Orton then smashes his foot into Riley’s face. But, Riley moves when Orton goes to drop his knee in Riley’s face, but Orton still kicks out of the cover. Orton fights back against Riley, and then delivers a knee to Orton’s midsection as Orton goes to him. When the ref isn’t looking, Arquette has Orton in a headlock. Riley then walks into Orton’s fist, but then Riley runs into the clothesline. Orton then scoop slams Riley and jerks around, chucking Riley back to the mat. Riley gets up, Orton hits the RKO, and that’s all she wrote.
Randy Orton wins via pinfall.
After the match, Miz slams the Money in the Bank briefcase into Orton’s’ head, and Arquette is going to help him this time around. Like a dumbass. Miz gets the table set up, and gets Orton up. Punk pretends that he has no idea what Miz is going to do, and Miz and Arquette go to double suplex Orton into the table, but Orton counters and beats Miz down. He goes to power bomb Miz, but Arquette gets him out of it. Miz rolls out of the ring, and Arquette is left to take the power bomb through the table.
Coming up, John Cena takes on David Otunga.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 David Arquette….rocking Evel Kenevil ninja-style! #WWE #RAW #BWF #Slammy
@Niki_Sushi Tool of the Year award. Who would win? David Arquette or Michael Cole? #BWF #RAW
Cole comes out and says that 2010 had some great quotes. The Nominees for the And I Quote Line of the Year are from Santino, Cena, Edge… and so many others. My favorite is Cody’s “Don’t breathe on me”.
Seriously? Michael Cole. I think he’s lying. He pulls the ‘I wasn’t expecting this’ thing and pulls out a paper. The thanks the non-existent Cole Miners and The Miz, and the sound guys cut him off. Good. Anyway. Superstar of the Year awards is next.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog “Crack binge with Amy Winehouse” and “Of course you have an email you idiot, just read it.”
@HitTheRopes Wooo!!! @TitusNXT always makes it a win!
@seraphalexiel “Duct tape? Are you serious?”
@FrankWWEClown I’ll be accepting my award for “And I Quote of the Year” for….”I HATE YOU HEATH SLATER, I HATE YOU!!!” Tootin’ my own horn. 🙂 #WWE
Teddy Long is going to present the Superstar of the Year Slammy! The nominees are Edge, WWE Champion The Miz, World Heavyweight Champion Kane, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton.
Cena comes out and thanks everyone for not giving up on him. He says that this award was our award to give away and he finds it amazing that we gave it to him because up to an hour ago he didn’t have a job. It’s been a crazy year: he was forced to join the Nexus (only good thing being that he could pee in Barrett’s coffee), he was fired (and got to tailgate with the WWE Universe), and there’s magic on Bourbon Street. Cena says that what happened to him was his own fault, but he is now back fulltime on RAW. He will continue to be a man of his word. He has gotten to each and every member of the Nexus except Otunga and Barrett. Tonight, when Otunga steps in the ring, he doesn’t care if he brings Hasky, McG, the dude from something (AXE MURDERER!) or the chick from Wendy’s, Otunga is getting hurt. Sunday at TLC, every ounce of frustration, misery, anger will be unleashed. This Sunday, at TLC, we have his word: Wade Barrett will be destroyed.
John Cena vs. David Otunga
Barrett takes the mic and says that before the match starts, he wants to remind Cena what happened earlier, what’s going to happen tonight, and what will happen on Sunday.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Nexus attacks Cena and Barrett attacks Cena with a chair.>
Otunga turns around and high fives Nexus, or forearm bump, or something, except Barrett. Otunga walks down to the ring. Fina-fuckin-lly.
And now, like last week with Barrett, the Nexus slowly walks out on Otunga.
Cena, however, wants to fight, so he forces Otunga into the ring and smacks Otunga Show-style., then again on the back. Cena knees Otunga in the stomach, and chucks Otunga to the mat. Cena Whips Otunga across the ring, then runs his shoulder into Otunga’s face. Cena throws Otunga into the corner, then Whips him back around the ring, and Otunga finally moves. Otunga wails on Cena, bouncing around like a ping pong ball, and then goes back to Cena. Otunga goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out. Otunga goes to lift Cena, but Cena drops him with a drop toe hold and locks in the STF. Otunga taps out.
John Cena wins via submission.
Cena grabs a chair as Barrett walks out with a chair again. Cena then proceeds to use that chair on Otunga. And again. And again. And again. Cena then drags Otunga to the middle of the ring, and then massacres Otunga with it. Barrett seems more amused than scared, Cena.
So, there’s the Slammys! I have an idea in mind for something for those of you who tweet for me every week, but I have to see if it’ll work out. Keep an eye on my Twitter, and on the BWF website, because I may post it there if I don’t wait until next week. Thanks a lot, and I’ll be back for you next week!
Hey, my Peeps! I’m back from a 2 week hiatus. I have been out of town skiing. Let’s get this thing started.
Match 1: Jillian Hall vs Kelly Kelly
Jillian comes out first and sings a Miley Cyrus song. Kelly Kelly interupts with her entrance. I don’t like diva wrestling, but Kelly Kelly has gotten better. She is still nowhere near good enough to be an in-ring performer. Why can’t WWE get women who can actually wrestle? How does TNA get women who look good, but can also wrestle? Anyways…Kelly Kelly wins with a Leg Drop to the back of Jillian’s head. Michael Cole called it the Kelly Kick. I guess we can go with that name for now. Too much time was devouted to this craptacular match.
Match 2: Shelton Benjamin vs Vance Archer
This match should not be on ECW as a top level fued for the show, so Superstars is the right venue for this one. I hate Archer’s tramp stamp too! This match is really clumsy tonight. Vance Archer is normally pretty aggressive and physical, but going into the commercial break, he really hasn’t displayed it in this match. We come back from commercial, with Archer in control. He is starting to be more dominant, but still seems slow and unsure of what to do. I’m not sure what to think of his character. The fans are really dead on the guy, but Shelton isn’t getting much pop in this match either. Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton even commented on how boring this match is by saying not to fall asleep. The clumsiness of this match is mind-boggling. It’s no wonder that Shelton Benjamin has never been pushed to the main event level. The guy can’t carry a match with a guy who is clearly low-level at this point. It wouldn’t surprise me if Archer was released during the next batch of firings. Shelton gets the win over the undefeated Vance Archer with a very anti-climactic role up pin. This match was awful.
Ask the Divas….yawn
Main Event: Chris Jericho vs Kane
Random main event match for Superstars…what else is new??? WWE has missed so many opportunities with Kane. He can be pushed to be so dominant if creative will just book him correctly. I also feel as if they have sort of ruined Chris Jericho’s persona. They have him cowarding out to everybody right now. They need to freshen him up a little bit. However, this might be the best main event we have ever had on Superstars. These two guys are Hall of Famers in my opinion. The match goes to commercial with Kane flipping over the top ropes and to the floor below. When was the last time a match didn’t go to commercial after someone went to the outside? Back from commercial and this match really picks up. It ends when Jericho cowards out of the ring and walks away for the countout.
Alrighty then…see you guys next week for another Superstars.
The one they call ‘Legend Killer’ here to bring you SummerSlam. Now, due to technical difficulties, I missed a portion of the event. Here’s what we’ve missed.
SUMMERSLAM PRE-SHOW: 15-DIVA BATTLE ROYAL
Chavo Guerrero is Guest referee.
YOUR WINNER: Beth Phoenix with help from Chavo Guerrero.
Post-Royale, Hornswoggle comes down to ringside, and with the Divas holding Chavo down. Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.
MATCH#1: WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
YOUR WINNER AND STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Rey Mysterio
Josh Mathews interviewed MVP and Jack Swagger before their match.
MATCH#2: MVP vs. Jack Swagger
YOUR WINNER: MVP
Spot the celebrity was next. Luke Perry, Nancy O’Dell and last week’s RAW Guest Host, Freddie Prinze Jr. are in attendance.
MATCH#3: UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Chris Jericho and Big Show (c) vs. Cryme Tyme
YOUR WINNERS AND STILL UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Chris Jericho and Big Show
An interview with CM Punk comes next. He’s going to re-write the ending of the Jeff Hardy screenplay he was handed.
That’s it for the catch-up. The Real Real-Time, begins NOW!
MATCH#4: Kane vs. Great Khali w/Runjin Singh
Kane tries to attack, but Khali counters easily. Khali sends Kane over the top, but Kane hangs him up on the top rope. Khali misses a Leg drop, and Kane takes advantage. Kane apparently has evil elbows. Kane goes foe the chokeslam, but Khali breaks it up and goes for the Punjabi Plunge, but Kane breaks that up. Great Khali tries for the pin but only gets a 2.
Kane goes up top with a Clothesline, and gets a 2. Kane applies a reverse chinlock, with half a leg scissor, but Khali powers out of the hold, and breaks it with elbows, then hits a boot to the face. Khali gets a near fall, then applies the Vice Grip. Kane escapes, and drags in Runjin Singh. Khali doesn’t attack, and receives a dropkick to the knees for his trouble. One DDT later, and Kane gets the fall.
YOUR WINNER: Kane
A shot of Vince’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. More celebrity sightings. Someone from the Today Show, Slash and Robert Patrick.
Promo video for DX/Legacy.
Side Note: My predictions are 2 and 2 going by my predictions on this very site, earlier in the week.
MATCH#5: D-GENERATION X (Triple H and Shawn Michaels) vs. LEGACY (Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes)
DX with a new opening section to their music, as the Army come out and fire guns in the air. HHH and HBK come out on a tank. After what seems like an eternity, DX finally enter the ring, say their usual, then Legacy hit the ring.
Helmsley and DiBiase start. Both men fight for early momentum, and it goes to the Game. Hunter with a suplex, into a Knee Drop for the two count. Rhodes gets the tag, and meets the High Knee of the Game. Rhodes slaps HBK, so HHH tags him in. Cody beats HBK in an upper hand battle with a slap, so Michaels takes him down with a tackle. Michaels repays one of the slaps, then starts tuning the band, but Rhodes escapes to the outside.
Shawn with a side headlock, but Cody escapes and tags in DiBiase. Michaels with hard chops in the corner, but gets sent across the ring by Teddy, and he does his traditional flip on the turnbuckle, meeting a clothesline on his way back. Rhodes back in, and he continues the assault. A near fall follows, and DiBiase gets the tag back in.DiBiase with a chin lock, but Michaels escapes, then hits a running neckbreaker. Michaels gets the tag to Hunter and he lets loose on Legacy. Triple H looks for the Pedigree on DiBiase, but Rhodes breaks it up. Michaels takes care of Rhodes, and as the referee is distracted, DiBiase gets a Low Blow in on Helmsley.
Legacy work on HHH in the corner, tagging in and out frequently to keep each man fresh. DiBiase with a chin lock on Helmsley, Trips tries to make the tag to his partner, but its inches in it, before Teddy pulls him away. Trips finally escapes the hold, and both men are down. Cody gets the tag and DDT’s Triple H. Cody with what looks like an Armbar-type hold, as Helmsley tries to make the tag to Shawn. Triple H escapes, and both men down again. DiBiase gets the tag, and he knocks down HBK before Triple H can get the tag.
DiBiase and Helmsley share punches in the corner, then Helmsley whips DiBiase across, but HHH meets a back elbow. DiBiase charges at H, but Trips side-steps, sending Teddy Jr. to the outside. Both men in, and both get the tag. Michaels fires at Cody, attacking on all cylinders, until diBiase attacks him from behind. Triple H takes care of DiBiase, as Michaels continues the attack on Rhodes. HBK heads up top for the elbow, but Rhodes counters, knocking HBK down. Cody tries a suplerplex, but HBK knocks him off the ropes and onto the mat. Michaels goes for the elbow again, but this time Cody gets his knees up. Rhodes tries a pinfall but only gets 2. Michaels locks in the Figure 4 on Rhodes, but DiBiase breaks it up. Triple H tries a Pedigree on DiBiase, but Rhodes breaks it up.
Shawn tries Sweet Chin Music again, but Rhodes counters into the Cross-Rhodes. Cody tries a pin, but Triple H breaks it up. Carnage follows, as DiBiase gets in DreamStreet on Michaels, but Triple H takes DiBiase out. Michaels and Rhodes help each other up it seems, then HBK fires Sweet Chin Music from nowhere, and gets the fall.
YOUR WINNERS: D-GENERATION X
I now go above 50% for my predictions, and after being 0-2, I’m now 3-2.
A promo for the NBC special of Wrestlemania 25.
MATCH#6: ECW CHAMPIONSHIP
Christian (c) vs. William Regal w/Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov
A confrontation before the match as both men argue, the bell rings, and as Regal is taking off his robe, Christian nails the Unprettier for the pinfall.
YOUR WINNER AND STILL ECW CHAMPION: Christian
Post-match, Jackson and Kozlov, begin a beatdown of the Champion, Regal applies the Regal Stretch, and the Champion is left laying. Just like that, I’m 3-3.
A video of the WWE superstars around Los Angeles for SummerSlam.
OFFICAL SONG: ‘You Gotta Move’ by Aerosmith
Recap of last week’s Main Event from RAW between Orton/Cena and Jericho/Show.
MATCH#7: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena
Time to hear those Voices in your head. The ones the council you, that talk to you, that understand.
Champion introductions, as the bell rings.
Cena with a takedown into a Front Facelock for the early advantage. Cena tries to work on the arm of Orton, but receives right hands in the form of a fist to the face for his troubles. But these don’t last long, as Cena regains the advantage. He sends Randy to the corner, then drops him with a Bulldog for the two. Orton now with the upper hand, pummeling Cena in the corner, before sending him hard across into another corner. Orton starts dissecting Cena, stomping on everything that makes up the being of John Cena, before a jumping knee lands on the chest of the challenger, and Randy gets a near fall from it.
Cena tries to regain momentum, but Orton nails his BackBreaker for another near-fall. Randy now applies a chin lock, as the crowd is divided between the Cena haters and the ten-year old Cena fans. Randy turns the hold into a Leg Scissors as well as the chin lock, but Cena powers out. Cena with the Warrior Shoulder blocks, then the reverse powerbomb-type move. Next comes the 5-knuckle shuffle, and as Cena looks to finish him off, Orton gets a slam in and the near fall.
Randy begins the dissection, but Cena rolls out of the way of the Knee Drop. Cena attacks, but Orton avoids and Cena ends up on the outside. Cena tries to get back in, but Orton gets a DDT in, and gets a near fall. Orton begins his stalking for the Scott Norwood Punt, and like Norwood, he misses as Cena gets out of the way, and nails the Throwback. Cena nails what looked like the Fame Asser for the two. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton escapes, and both men down take each other down with clotheslines. The ref’s ten count begins, and both men are up at 8. Both men exchange shots, and Cena gains the advantage with the Back Body Drop. Thats enough for Orton however, as he pushes the referee down and gets the blatant DQ.
YOUR WINNER AS A RESULT OF DISQUALIFICATION: John …
Wait a minute, Lilian sends a message, on behalf of Vinnie Mac, that the match is restarted, and if Orton is DQ’ed again, then he loses the Gold.
Orton sends Cena into the ring steps, then sends him in the ring for a couple of near-falls. Orton rolls out of the ring, as I notice two BEER MONEY!!!! fans in the audience. Orton decides that he’ll deliberately get counted out this time, allowing Cena to win again.
YOUR WINNER VIA COUNTOUT: John …
Wait, wait, wait. Vinnie Mac talks psychically with Lilian and the match gets restarted again.
Cena tries to finish it, but Orton rolls him up with his feet on the ropes and gets the 3!!
YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: Randy …
Just when you thought it was all over, a second referee comes down and tells the first referee, that Orton’s feet were on the ropes. So we restart again …
Cena locks in the STF and has Orton beat, until what looked like a fan comes in and attacks the referee, causing confusion amongst everyone.
The match gets started yet again, Orton nails the RKO and finally gets the victory.
YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: Randy Orton
Promo video for the TLC match for the World Heavyweight Championship is shown.
MAIN EVENT: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
TABLES, LADDERS AND CHAIRS (oh my!)
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk
Champion introductions once again, as the bell rings. Punk with the assault early in the corner on Hardy. Punk with a chair, and introduces it to Jeff Hardy. Punk with the ladder in the ring, and as he climbs, Jeff knocks him down. Now it’s Hardy with an attack in the corner. Jeff goes to climb, and Punk knocks him down. Punk goes for the GTS, but Hardy blocks it.
Jeff with the chair, sets it up, goes for Poetry In Motion and misses, and Punk catches him and hits a Back Breaker on the chair. Punk slams the Ladder on Hardy, then nails him with a low dropkick. Punk sends Hardy to the outside, then jumps out of the ring with a Suicide Dive, aniling the champion. Punk sets up a table at ringside, then grabs a chair and tries to mush Hardy’s head against the turnbuckle post, but to no avail. Hardy tries to send Punk to the ring steps, but Punk avoids the steps, only to receive a chair shot from the champion. Hardy then hits Poetry In Motion in the chair. Hardy sets Punk up on a table, and tries to put him through it with a Splash, but Punk rolls out of the way, and Hardy crashes and burns.
Punk tries for the belt again, but Hardy stops him and goes for the belt himself. Punk stops him before he can grab it and goes for the GTS, but receives a sit-down Powerbomb for his troubles. Hardy goes for the title, and just as he gets there, Punk pushes the ladder over, and Hardy crashes. Punk then puts Hardy on the top rope, and nails a Superples off it, onto a Ladder. Jeff nails a Twist of Fate, then heads up top and goes for the Swanton, but Punk gets his knees up. Punk goes for the Bulldog Headlock, but Hardy puts Punk through the table that Punk had setup earlier.
Hardy goes to climb again, but Punk springboards off the ropes and knocks Hardy off. Punk puts the chair around Hardy’s neck, and looks to send him into the turnbuckle post, but Hardy blocks it, and bashes Punk with the chair. Hardy hits Punk with a piece of the Spanish announce table, then hits him with the chair again. Hardy then grabs a super ladder, climbs to the very top, and Swanton’s CM Punk through the Spanish Announce table.
The stretchers are out, and Hardy’s being whisked away. Meanwhile, Punk has crawled in the ring, and is headed for the belt. Punk climbs, Jeff makes it to the ladder as well, and both are on the ladder. Punk kicks Hardy off the ladder, and unhooks the belt to become champion.
YOUR WINNER AND NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: CM Punk
Punk towers over Hardy and just when you think it’s over, the lights go out, and Taker’s gong hits. The lights come back, and Punk isn’t towering over Hardy anymore. Taker gets up and chokeslams the new Champion.
My predictions ended at 5-3. Pretty good I think, always over 50% is a good thing.
Overall, the PPV was good. I enjoyed watching it. The opening match was a good opening, and the Main event was a good viewing, even thought the finish was a little scrappy I thought, but with Hardy leaving, the return of the Undertaker, means that Punk has his opponent for Breaking Point. This has been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, tune in tomorrow night for RAW.
– Tonight’s WWE RAW kicks off with the always sexy Kelly Kelly making her way to the ring…
Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle vs. Jillian Hall and Katie Lea
Kelly’s partner Candice Michelle is out next. The horrible music of Jillian Hall hits next as she comes out with Katie Lea for tonight’s opening match. Jerry Lawler announces that Candice Michelle will be dressed as Marilyn Monroe at Cyber Sunday. Before the match, Jillian Hall gets on the mic and sounds like crap singing as usual.
As Jillian is singing, Kelly dropkicks her and unleashes an assault. 2 count by Kelly Kelly. Candice comes in and they double team Jillian. Candice goes to work on Jillian now. Lawler announces Kelly will be dressed as a sailor at Cyber Sunday. Candice uses the ropes on a move on Jillian until Katie kicks her in the stomach. Katie gets tagged in now and goes to work on Candice for a 2 count.
Lawler announces Katie Lea will be a Vampire at Cyber Sunday at Katie works on Candice for another 2 count. Jillian comes back in and drops Candice for another 2 count. Candice throws Katie into the turnbuckle, drops Jillian and tags back in Kelly. Kelly drops Jillian with clotheslines and takes her down with a head scissors move. Kelly nails a cross body off the top for a 2 count as Katie breaks it up. Candice kicks Katie in the ring as Jillian gets a 2 count on Kelly. Kelly hits a big leg drop on Jillian for the pinfall and the win.
Winners: Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle
– Back from commercial and Chris Jericho comes to the ring. He gets a ton of heat from the fans. Jericho gets out of the ring, goes to the floor and makes Lilian announce him as the World Heavyweight Champion. Jericho goes back in the ring and says that’s what he’s talking about and calls out Lilian. The crowd tells Jericho he sucks. Jericho says everyone is disrespecting him, not just Lilian. The fans, the Superstars, everyone.
Jericho says the fans shouldn’t be able to pick his special referee at Cyber Sunday and talks about Michaels, Austin and Orton again. The crowd pops big for Austin’s name. Jericho talks about who he has beaten lately. Jericho says when he wins at Cyber Sunday, everyone will have to admit he is the best. Out comes Batista.
Batista makes his way to the ring to a nice pop from the fans. Jericho looks pissed. Batista asks Jericho if he’s seriously out here demanding respect and says that’s ridiculous, as is his hair. Batista says you earn respect, not demand it. Batista says if Jericho beats him at Cyber Sunday he will earn a lot of people’s respect but until then, will he please stop crying and shut his mouth? The crowd pops. Batista says he will shut it for him. The RAW music hits and out comes Mike Adamle.
Adamle tells them to save it for Cyber Sunday. Adamle says for the first time ever tonight, they will face the same three opponents in a Gauntlet Match. He says Gauntlet Match again. Wow, that’s Mike Adamle for ya. He forgot his lines or something. Adamle says tonight is another Adamle Original. Batista and Jericho come face to face in the ring and Jericho slaps The Animal. Jericho rolls out of the ring with his belt and taunts Batista as he heads to the back.
– Still to come tonight, CM Punk and Kofi Kingston vs. John Morrison and The Miz. We go back to commercial.
JBL vs. Stone Cold Steve Haastin
Back from commercial and JBL’s white limousine pulls into the arena. JBL steps out and heads for the ring. JBL gets on the mic before the match and says it’s ridiculous to have him compete against a has-been impersonator. JBL goes on to insult the people and talk about how he is rich and they are poor. The glass breaks and out comes Stone Cold… it’s Charlie Haas! Haas, acting and looking like Austin, enters the ring and does the Stone Cold mannerisms. Lilian announces him as Stone Cold Steve Haastin. Haas gets on the mic as the crowd chants Austin. He just says the clock is ticking. JBL says you have to be kidding me and Haas says “What?” Everytime JBL says something, that’s what he gets.
Haas acts more like Austin and the bell rings. Haas attacks JBL, Stone Cold style and mounts a nice offense. JBL fights back. Haas goes for a Stunner but JBL drops him with a big boot. JBL nails the Clothesline from Hell and lays Haas out for the pinfall and the win.
Winner: JBL
Rey Mysterio vs. Snitsky
Back from commercial and Rey makes his way out. Snitsky is out next. A video plays on the side of Snitsky talking about pain. The bell rings and Snitsky goes to work on Rey, beating him down.
Snitsky misses a big running boot in the corner and gets tangled up. Rey bounces off the top and nails Snitsky then hits him with a low dropkick. Snitsky is down. Rey climbs to the top and stomps down on Snitsky’s stomach. Rey drops Snitsky on the ropes and nails the 619. Rey comes off the top with another splash and gets the pinfall for the win in a quick match.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
John Morrison and The Miz vs. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston
Out for the next match first is John Morrison and The Miz, representing ECW. Morrison gets on the mic and shushes the crowd. Miz encourages the fans to text their vote to pick them to wrestle at Cyber Sunday. They compare themselves to other tag teams and rip DX. They call them Geriatric X and say “Are you 50?” Wow, Triple H is crapping himself right now. Out next is CM Punk followed by his tag partner Kofi Kingston.
Punk and Morrison lock up first, going right to the mat. Kofi comes in after a minute as does Miz. Kofi and Punk double team Miz for a 2 count. Kofi takes Miz to the mat. Back on their feet and Kofi lands a huge dropkick, sending Miz to the outside.Punk back in now for a 2 count on Miz after some kicks.
Miz ends up on the floor and Morrison comes in. Punk and Kofi pick up Morrison and throw him over the top rope onto Miz and the floor. Kofi covers Miz in the ring for a 2 count. Kofi tags back in Punk and they do some more double teaming. Flying shot by Punk for another 2 count. Miz fights back now with right hands n Punk. Punk tags back in Kofi who works over Miz in the corner. Kofi with another 2 count. Miz tries a big hip toss on Kofi but gets it countered. Miz distracts the ref and Morrison kicks Kofi off the turnbuckle. Morrison gets tagged in and works over Kofi now.
Morrison nails a bridge suplex for a 2 count. Morrison takes Kofi back to the mat with a headlock as we go back to another commercial break.
Back from commercial and Morrison still has Kofi on the mat. During the commercial we saw Miz come in and knock Punk off the apron, but get dropped by Kofi before tagging in Morrison. Miz comes back in now and kicks at Kofi’s back. Another headlock by Miz on Kofi. Miz takes advantage of the ref’s back being turned again and pulls Kofi down by his hair. Morrison comes in and they do some double teaming. 2 count by Morrison as Punk breaks the pin.
Kofi rocks Morrison and knocks Miz off the apron. In comes Punk. Punk unloads with kicks and forearms on Morrison, taking him down. Running knee in the corner by Punk and then the bulldog. Punk looks to slip off the top as Morrison rolls out of the way. Miz dumps Kofi to the floor. Punk decks Miz. Punk nails the GTS on Morrison without seeing Miz was the legal man. Miz rolls up Punk from behind to get the win.
Winners: John Morrison and The Miz
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Santino Marella
Back from commercial and Santino Marella comes out with Beth Phoenix. Santino is dressed as Roddy Piper, Goldust and Honky Tonk Man all in one. What a sight. Santino says all of his potential opponents for Cyber Sunday are washed up. Santino rips Rodney the Piper and then Goldendust, as he calls them. Santino then rips the Honky Donk Man. Beth and Santino go on until Hacksaw Duggan comes out.
Hacksaw gets in the ring and yells Santino’s name. Santino rips him as well and calls him washed up. Duggan calls Santino confused and a flash in the pan. Duggan says he doesn’t appreciate him disrespecting his generation. Santino brings the Honk-A-Meter out again. Santino keeps joking on Hacksaw. Duggan calls Beth Santino’s boyfriend. She gets in his face and he calls her a tough guy. Santino calls them fighting words and takes off his Piper outfit. Beth throws the clothes in Duggan’s face and Santino smashes the guitar over his face and lays him out. Santino says whoever faces him at Cyber Sunday will never forget the name… Santino’s mouth is busted open and he’s bleeding pretty badly. It looked like he got hit by a piece of the guitar. Back to commercial.
Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase
Back from commercial and Cryme Tyme make their way to the ring. Their opponents, the World Tag Team Champions are out next with Manu.
The bell doesn’t even ring when Manu, Rhodes and DiBiase attack Cryme Tyme in the ring. The referee tries to stop things but can’t as Cryme Tyme get beat down. Ted DiBiase grabs the title belts from ringside and hold them high in the air, saying that’s what Champions do. The match never started. We go to commercial.
No Contest
Gauntlet Match with Chris Jericho and Batista
The World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho comes out to the ring first. Jericho awaits what’s next as we go back to another commercial break. Back from commercial and Batista comes out. Adamle is in the ring and announces the first opponent, William Regal, who comes out with Layla.
Batista and Regal start off with rights fro Regal. Batista nails a Spine buster and goes for the Batista Bomb. Batista nails it and pins Regal for the pinfall.Jericho and Batista have words. In comes Jericho now. Adamle says Jericho will start …. his mic fades off. Wow this is insane. Regal takes his time getting to his feet as Jericho yells. Jericho nails the Codebreaker on Regal for the easy pinfall.
Adamle tells Chris Jericho he starts the next match. Out comes Mark Henry with Tony Atlas right behind him. Jericho hits Henry with a right but gets tossed back into the corner. Jericho trips Henry and tries to turn him over for the Walls of Jericho but can’t. Henry kicks him out to the floor. Jericho runs in the ring and gets decked by Henry. Henry with kicks to the stomach and more in the corner. Henry with a big splash on Jericho in the corner. Henry misses a big splash on the mat. Jericho nails the Lionsault but only gets a 2 count. Jericho takes the padding off the turnbuckle. The ref puts the pad back on. Jericho runs outside and grabs his World Title belt, runs in and decks Henry with it but the referee sees him and DQ’s him.
Henry wins by DQ.
Batista comes in now. Henry gets to his feet and Batista nails him with right hands as the bell rings. Henry shoves him to the mat. Batista nails a big spine buster on Henry for the pinfall and the win. Batista wins that one.
Adamle introduces their third opponent, Kane, and tells Jericho he will start this one out again. We go back to another commercial break.
Back from commercial and Kane drops an elbow on Jericho for a 2 count. Kane with right hands on Jericho in the corner and stomps. Kane continues to pound Jericho in the corner. Jericho comes out of the corner and starts working on Kane’s knees. Jericho uses the ring post on Kane’s leg. Kane misses the big elbow as Jericho rolls out of the way. Jericho misses the Codebreaker and Kane climbs to the top. Jericho knocks him off the top turnbuckle. Jericho climbs up to Kane and they fight on top. Jericho goes for the superplex but Kane knocks him to the mat. Kane flies off the top with a clothesline for a real close 2 count. Kane calls for the chokeslam but Jericho fights out of his hold. Kane drops Jericho on the ropes, sending him to the floor. Batista corners Jericho on the floor as Kane pullshim back in. Kane drops Jericho with a big boot for the pinfall and the win on that one.
Kane decks Jericho on the apron, sending him to the floor. The bell rings for Batista’s match with Kane. Kane turns around and gets speared by Batista. The Animal covers Kane for the pinfall and the win on their match.
Jericho is on the floor trying to recover from the beating Kane gave him. Batista climbs the top rope and taunts Jericho. Jericho holds his World Title belt high as RAW goes off the air.
