Hey everybody. Welcome to another catch-phrase filled review of WWE Superstars. Ain’t no stoppin’ me now….
Match number 1: the World’s Greatest Tag Team against the team that “spits in the face of people who don’t want to be cool,” Primo and Carlito.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,yo,…..yo,….yo,….yo,….YO! During the match, Cryme Time makes an appearence to distract the WGTT. Carlito hits a springboard flip into a backstabber. The San Juan Southpaw gets the win for the Colons. Now that’s cool. This was a good tag match. It looks like WWE is seemingly rebuilding the tag division. This match gets a 8 out of 10
Match number 2: The two time, two time All-American American Jack Thwagger against Finlay
On his way to the ring, Swagger does his monkey walk. I find it really weird. His name may be Finlay and he may love to fight, but he got dominated in this one. Swagger gets the win with his gutwrench powerbomb. This short match gets a 5 out of 10. It didn’t present enough for anything more.
The main event: The Champ is (not) here for this one. John Cena against The Million Dollar Man……errrrrr…..I mean the Million Dollar Man’s son, Ted DiBiase. Oh well….Everybody’s got a price and everybody’s gonna pay!
Word Life against the Priceless one. This is definitely a future main event fued. John Cena gets the win in this match with the STFU. This match was decent for a Cena match. The guy has gotten better and is no longer torture to watch in the ring. This match gets a 7 out of 10.
The show was ok. The show was definitely not The Miz, so it was not awesome. I am however, because that’s how I roll! Peace out PEEPS!!!
When I was younger, I used to manage to catch every pay per view. Used to be, we’d buy them – back when there weren’t so many of them anyway. Eventually, the PPV schedule got too expensive for regular fans like me, so we’d end up missing PPVs here or there. I’m not sure why, but I somehow wound up watching “WWF: Over The Edge” on May 23, 1999. I may not remember where I watched the show, or how I got to watch it, but I’ll never forget it. It’s stuck in my memory and will never go away.
It’s not that there was a spectacular main event. Without looking it up, I couldn’t even tell you what it was. What I can tell you is that there was a match scheduled featuring the Godfather defending the Intercontinental Championship against the Blue Blazer. If you don’t know what happened at this particular event, it may just sound like another wacky Attitude Era match between a pimp and a superhero. Sadly, the match never took place.
The promo video for the match aired, as it normally would, but instead of coming out of the promo and straight into the entrances, an obviously thrown off JR shoots us to an interview conducted earlier in the day by Kevin Kelly with The Blazer, concluding his statement with “we’ve got big problems out here.”
When the interview was over, a wide shot of the Kemper Arena crowd followed, with the voice of JR.
“Ladies and gentlemen, when you’re doing live television a lot of, uh, things can happen, and sometimes they are not good. The Blue Blazer, who we know is Owen Hart, was gonna make a very spectacular super hero like entrance from the rafters, and something went terribly wrong here,” explained JR. “Certainly, Owen Hart… Blue Blazer – very serious situation here at this point in time, is being attended to by the EMTs. This is not a part of the entertainment here tonight. We are as… This is as real as real can be here. And uh, the EMTs are tending to Owen in the ring now. And we are, again, at a little bit of a loss in this situation. I’ve been doing this for more years than I’d like to admit, and this is the… well, it’s one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen. This is not your typical wrestling storyline. This is a real situation. Owen Hart was to ascend in a super-hero like entrance from the ceiling of this arena, and something terribly, terribly went wrong. I don’t know if the harness broke, or what the malfunction was, and, uh, we are going to keep our cameras on this crowd at this point in time…”
JR continued to reiterate that Owen Hart had an accident, and that it was not a part of the show. He tells us the show will go on, but that the bigger issue is that Owen Hart has been seriously, seriously inured. Jerry Lawler rejoins him at the broadcast booth and says that it “doesn’t look good at all.”
An interview with a very somber Jeff Jarrett and Debra followed. They put over their match, and mentioned that Owen was in their prayers.
In true showbiz fashion, after the EMTs managed to get Owen out of the arena and to a nearby hospital, the WWF’s show went on. Three matches followed Owen’s fall, with very somber performers working them, some of whom – namely Jeff Jarrett, Debra, and The Road Dogg – saying that Owen was in their prayers in their pre-match promos.
Following a tag team elimination match between The Union and The Corporate Ministry, the camera went right back to JR and The King at ringside, with some terrible news.
“Ladies and gentleman,” began JR. “Earlier tonight here in Kansas City, tragedy befell the World Wrestling Federation and all of us. Owen Hart was set to make an entrance from the ceiling and he fell from the ceiling. I have the unfortunate responsibility to let everyone know that Owen Hart has died. Owen Hart has tragically died from that accident here tonight.”
That was a decade ago tonight. It was a very sad night indeed for everybody involved in professional wrestling, be in the performers, the promoters, or, of course, the fans. Allegedly, Owen was supposed to fly in from the rafters, press a quick release trigger on his harness, and fall flat on his face. Apparently, he’d inadvertantly triggered the mechanism, and wound up falling 50 feet (some reports say 78 feet) to his death.
The following night on RAW, the storylines were dropped, the wrestlers weren’t forced to work, and several of them told stories about their fallen friend. They all talked about how much Owen loved his wife and his children, and how he was a legendary prankster backstage. Those are two nights that I’ll never forget for as long as I live. They say only the good die young – Owen was 34. We’ll never forget you, Owen!
Your Empress of “Impact” is here, with a review of tonight’s go-home show and predictions for Sunday’s “Sacrifice” pay-per-view. Tonight’s episode is titled “Double J in Jeopardy.” Will the TNA Founder remember to phrase the answer in the form of a question? Let’s find out!
Hey everybody! Whose ready for another review of the rotating half face show?! I gotta say, the intro to Superstars kinda freaks me out a little. But, I digress. Let’s get this thang started.
First match of the evening pits THE ECW CHAMPION….CHRISTIAN against the Tommy Dreamer for the ECW title.
First out is Christian with his new shirt. I can’t wait to get it! Next out is the challenger, who was actually challenged by the champ, Tommy Dreamer. Why is the ECW championship match leading off the D-show? Shouldn’t it be the main event? Whatever….At one point, Dreamer looked like he was smelling Christian’s butt, when he applied a knee wrench. That was a little awkward. Throughout the match, Dreamer worked on Captain Charisma’s knee that was injured by Jack Swagger on ECW. This was a pretty good match. I’m not a huge fan of Dreamer’s work, but he certainly is not horrible. Christian is great and always does his part in the match. Dreamer hit a sicknasty suplex off the top rope and a cannonball to the outside, which were his two big spots of the night. Swagger made his way out the ringside and this match was ruled a no-contest. This match will likely be a triple threat match at Extreme Rules. This match gets a 8 out of 10.
Backstage interview with Josh Mathews and Chris Jericho
Jericho accuses Mathews of not respecting him and ties CMPunk’s popularity to his MITB briefcase. He defines greatness as himself and says Punk has his brush with greatness tonight.
The second match of the night is Kofi Kingston against William Regal
Regal should get a run at a world title soon. The guy is great. These two seem to work well together. I like their mix of high-flying and technical/brawling styles. From out of nowhere, Kingston hit the Trouble in Paradise for the win. This was good match for its length. I give it a 7.5 out of 10.
The main event of the evening is Chris Jericho and CM Punk
This match was good, but it seemed really random to have these two squaring off. It would have made more sense to have Punk and Rey tagging against Jericho and Umaga. This is the main event in name alone, as these two have no current beef with each other…Yet. Punk got the win with a counter of the Walls of Jericho into a rollup. After the match, Jericho hit a Code Breaker. This match looked like a seed-planter for a future program. We shall see. This match gets a 8.5 out of 10.
The show was very entertaining tonight. Except for the main event, everything else continued the storylines. Hopefully Jericho and Punk will start something going into Summerslam. As I leave you I will pose a question for you to ponder…If a penny is the unit for the American dollar, shouldn’t an ounce be the unit for the British pound?
Apologies for the lateness of this report. I started it on time, I swear! The hellish nightmare that is the end of a school year plus an obscenely lengthy commute equals not enough time for writing prior to the weekend. Much like the film career of Kurt Angle, though, it will all be over soon. Tonight’s episode is titled “Nightmare at the Asylum.” The jokes write themselves, don’t they? Onward!
It’s Thursday night, your Empress of “Impact” is here, and that can only mean one thing. No, not THAT! It’s time to find the nearest line and cross it!
What up, Peeps?! Let’s get this thing crackilackin’…
The show starts with “The Cutting Edge” with the World Heavyweight Champ hosting the number one contender Jeff Hardy
Edge starts off talking about their long and storied pasts and how it needs to end at Judgement Day. He then calls Jeff a loser and tells him to crawl back into his hole. Jeff has gotten better on the mic, but he continues to yell everything. This ends with Hardy hitting the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb. Whatever…moving on.
The first match of the evening is the Diva tag match with Miss Wrestlemania Santina Marella and Kelly Kelly taking on Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez
Diva wrestling blows! Santino..errr…Santina is hilarious, but Kelly Kelly sucks. This match was funny when Santino/a was involved. Otherwise, it was a big fat stinky turd. Anyways, Kelly Kelly gets the pin on Rosa. This match gets a 3 out of 10 just because of the pure comedic gold that is Santino/a.
Woo Woo Woo. The next match of the night is Finlay and Zack Ryder. You know it!
Youtube the video entitled “My new haircut” and tell me Ryder doesn’t look like the douchebag in that video. Woo Woo Woo… Finlay handles Zach Ryder in a pretty short one. This match gets a 5 out of 10. You know it!
The Main Event of the evening and a match that should Main Event at a ppv in the near future is The Shaman of Sexy John Morrison against Chris Jericho.
What a main event! John Morrison in amazing and Chris Jericho is….Chris f’ing Jericho!!! I want Morrison’s coat…that thing is awesome. Jericho has gotten a little pudgy lately, but is still great. Morrison maybe the most athletic guy in the WWE, and that’s saying something…that guy can hit some sick spots! The end of the match sees Shelton Benjamin’s music hitting and him appearing on screen. This distracts Morrison and Jericho hits the Code Breaker for the win. This match gets a 8.5 out of 10.
My favorite thing Jericho has ever done was the bet he had with Christian over who could hook up with Trish first. The bet was for…wait for it…wait for it…ONE CANADIAN DOLLAR! LMAO!!! There’s my cheap Christian plug of the night.
Overall this show was pretty good. It had good humor with Santino/a and a great match with Jericho and Morrison. The show gets a 7.5 out of 10. And now I shall leave you with a fact of life as I know it…The Office is awesome!!!
Real life has gotten in the way of proper reviews lately, so this week, here are some thoughts to accompany the above reviews. Consider it a slight rip-off of our good buddy JT’s “Random Randomness,” except that all points apply to a single “Impact” episode, making it not actually random at all. Did I mention that JT rules? He does.
1. Angle putting up his leadership position of the Main Event Mafia at “Sacrifice?” Ok. So the MEM will suddenly snap to and follow the lead of someone not named Kurt Angle just because of a match? Who would even want that spot, knowing perfectly well that the MEM would just take them out? Even in wrestling, people aren’t that stupid.
2. Amazing Red! He was never one of my favorites because he always seemed very sloppy in the ring to me, but I enjoyed watching him back in the early days of TNA, and having him back could be grand. The new look really helps. If you saw his old look, you know of what I speak. Honestly, though, Red’s last work in TNA was long enough ago that lots of current fans have no idea who he is. Having wild surprises is great, but in the case of Red, a few weeks of video packages, or even a “Rough Cuts” segment, would have been more effective. His big return was far from bad, don’t get me wrong. It’s just not a surprise when half your audience is thinking, “Who?”
3. Amazing Red and Suicide beat the MCMG. So there are other plans for the MCMG besides TNA tag team championship matches. As long as they’re on tv, I can’t complain. However, this is the third match in this tournament (more on that later) in which an established, legitimate tag team was beaten by two guys who were teaming together for the first time. Why? What does that do to make the tag team division look good? If there were a reason for it (injury, team dissension, and so on), then fine, but now No Limit, Lethal Consequences, MCMG, and LAX are all out of the tag team title tournament. Three of those matches were clean losses (not counting the LAX beatdown by the British Invasion). It’s Beer Money and three teams of random guys. This does not count as shaking up the tag team division with new blood! It just looks like any two guys can team up and legitimately beat guys who have been teaming for several years.
4. The Beautiful People seem to be hanging Madison Rayne out to dry. Funny. The group interaction is always fun to watch.
5. Cody Deaner and Abyss. Again? This seems to be a feud, but I’m not liking it. Deaner makes me want to change the channel. Was he really worth getting rid of Petey and Sonjay? ODB’s peacock hairdo hurts my soul.
6. Mick Foley searches for back-up against Kurt Angle’s invasion of his office. This is actually fun. Mick goes to the MCMG and Samoa Joe and gets nowhere, but watching him try was great. Particularly after his history with Alex Shelley. Suicide is Al Snow?
7. The British Invasion bit was very well-done. If there had to be a match in the tag team tournament where an established team was beaten by a new one, this was it. Not crazy about the name “British Invasion,” but it could be worse. At least Brutus Magnus is out of the gladiator gimmick. He can only get better working with Doug Williams, and then, everybody wins. Magnus has a good look and isn’t a bad talker, but his ring work was painful to watch up until now. He seems much more comfortable as part of a team. Good. Taking out Hernandez and triple-teaming Homicide made absolute sense. A solid introduction for the faction, and I’m actually looking forward to what they do next. Yes, I’m eating my words from a previously-posted thread. It happens.
8. Kong squashing Madison Rayne was great, as the fans kept chanting “One more time! One more time!” Don West was appalled and had some great lines about the sick fans.
9. If you didn’t laugh during the MCMG/Daniels segment, you have no soul. Go to the TNA site and watch the video clip of this segment. It’s actually up. Or just try this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDacEZvsCOQ It includes such gems as –
Alex Shelley: You have a wife and two kids at home who play with our action figures!
Chris Sabin: Why is it that you and Suicide have the exact same build? I mean, let’s face it, that ass is unmistakable!
Sabin shoves his mic into Daniels’s chest with great force. Daniels is still holding his own mic from entering the ring. Shelley leans over and says, “He already has a mic.” Sabin responds, “I just wanted to hit him.”
10. I hate the fact that Jenna Morasca has almost the same first name as me. Whatever she’s getting paid should be spent on acting lessons. Immediately.
11. Daffney and Lauren competing for the affections of Abyss??? Hmm. This could get interesting. I hope Daffney doesn’t get wasted on a non-wrestler, though.
12. Matt Morgan? Offering his services to the MEM? Uh, ok. It may fit character-wise, but he doesn’t meet the requirements. Lashley does. Morgan/Lashley?
13. AJ loses because Joe doesn’t show up. Sure, I’m curious, but isn’t this pretty much admitting that there is no Main Event Mafia versus Front Line?
14. Sting returns. Ok. A bit soon, methinks.
15. Foley losing his mind and being all over the place is more intriguing than nice-guy Legend Foley. No, I don’t want him at the top of the food chain for a year, but I’m interested in seeing where this goes.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Backlash
Backlash has been and gone. Matches were won and lost, and i didnt do any predictions. So, let’s just examine the happenings.
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become new ECW Champion.
Well, well. He finally wins the title. I knew that sooner or later he was gonna win. But the big question remains. Does this count as a major title win? I know that the ECW Championship counts as a major championship, but I, along with several other people, doesnt see the ECW Championship as nothing more than a re badged European Championship. Is this the stepping stone to Main Event level for Christian? My guess is no, as he needs to step up an extra couple of rungs up the ladder before he makes true Main Event status.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky Steamboat
Nice to see Jericho got the win. A loss here would have destroyed the small amount of credibility he has left. Also, I hope this is the end for Steamboat. He may still be able to go a little, but that doesnt mean that he should go a little. The novelty has worn off for Steamboat. As for Jericho, hopefull SmackDown! pushes him back up to Championship status, although seeing him stare down the Intercontinental Champion during the Draft coverage a few weeks back, spells his future.
Kane def. CM Punk
The relevance of this match? Filler. Thats all it was. they made up some thing about Kane being upset about not winning Money in the Bank at WrestleMania, but that did a rather lame job of hiding the fact that this match was only put there to fill up the card. Sadly, this match got in and yet the US Title, the Tag Titles, the IC Title and both Womens Titles didnt get defended. Just goes to show you how much the WWE think people want to see CM Punk. Even if the matches don’t mean anything.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy
This match was an I Quit match. If I am forced to sit down, and watch this Vampiro ripoff anymore, then I will quit. I do not understand how this guy is popular. Do they feel sorry for him because his house burned down? Do they feel sorry for him because he thought the name of this PPV was ‘Cracklash’? But seriously, I have no idea how Jeff Hardy got pushed, whereas Matt, the better of the two Hardys, didnt. Jeff became WWE Champion. He beat Edge for the belt, and was challenging former champion Triple H all the way. Yes, thats right, Triple H. The same Triple H whom Jeff Hardy beat for the Intercontinental Title back in 2001. Whereas Matt Hardy, well he beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. The same ECW Championship that I referred to as a re badged European Championship earlier. I wonder what will happen now that they are on different shows? My guess is, Matt Hardy will do nothing, whilst Jeff challenges for the World Title.
Khali Kiss Cam
Joke. Santina loves JR and Khali beats up Beth Phoenix. What has Beth Phoenix done to piss someone off? She must’ve done something real bad to be invovled in this Santina/Santino, To-may-to/To-ma-to let’s call the whole thing off nonsense. Thats what they should do with Santina Marella. Call the whole thing off. it’s becoming more ridiculous by the second. Nice way to destroy Beth’s career.
Legacy def. Trips, Shane O and PenisHead, meaning Randy Orton is new WWE Champion
Oh my god, the all mighty Triple H got beaten. What ever will we do? I know, send Penishead after him. He’ll save the day! Newsflash. Deacon Dave is inept. The only thing he’s good for is holding collection boxes. On the other hand, having Randy as champ is a big PLUS. Now, why couldnt they have Orton win at ‘Mania? Surely that would’ve been the best time to have him win the belt.
Edge def. John Cena to become World Heavyweight Champion
Edge win the belt, with a very big assist from the Big Show. Let me make this loud and clear. John Cena is NOT Hulk Hogan. John Cena is NOT some sort of being with superhuman powers. John Cena is NOT a member of the X-Men. Is Edge not good enough to beat John Cena on his own? Does the major title on SmackDown!, have to change more than Vickie Guerrero does love interests? However Ladies and Gentlemen and this is where they really grind my gears. John Cena, appeared on RAW. Thats right, just one day after being thrown into a spotlight, John Cena appears the next night. Hulk Hogan sold more in his career, than John Cena ever will. I hope Edge holds the belt for awhile, unless he loses it to Jericho. Anyone else, and it will be a travesty.
TNA
Have I missed anything? Oh yeah, they have a PPV coming up. It’s like they have one every month or something. Anyways, the up-coming PPV is Sacrifice and Mick Foley will defend his belt against … well it could be a list of people. From Bug-Eyed Lashley, to BrokeNeck Angle, to Stung, to Mike Tyson’s lookalike. The list goes on and on. Also, theres a Tag Team Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the gold. The winner also receives a trophy and $100,000. If Beer Money doesnt win the tournament, then their belts back, then once again, it’s a travesty.
The Rest
Just some short little tidbits here. Whomever entered the competition won. You all win jack, and shit. Thank you for entering.
Finally, don’t forget my review of the WWE Vintage Collection will be up at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com inside the next 24 hours, so go check that out. Also, check out the various videos and toilet breaks throughout the review.
I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you to stay away from fat chicks, as you might end up with swine flu.
I wasn’t home and missed the first half of SmackDown, so here are the results courtesy of tvfanatic.com:
WWE SmackDown was taped this week from London. In the main event, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase took on Shane McMahon and Batista. Here’s a rundown of events and matches from the event…
– Edge comes (to the) ring and cuts promo on Sunday’s Backlash. Lots of heat when he mentions Vickie Guerrero. She sucks.
– Matt Hardy and Kane defeat Jeff Hardy and CM Punk; Solid match. Matt gets the rollup on Jeff for the victory.
– The Big Show defeats The Undertaker; The Big Show delivers a knockout blow to the back of Undertaker’s head. The referee stops the match because Undertaker can’t continue. But The Undertaker gets up and punches Big Show out of the ring.
– Maryse defeats Gail Kim, retains the WWE Divas Championship; very boring match.
– MVP defeats Chavo Guerrero; quick match that was followed by a challenge to MVP by Dolph Ziggler for a match next week.
– Shane McMahon and Batista defeat Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase; Shane gets the pin but also accidentally knocks Batista off the ropes during the match. Uh-oh.
