Tag Archive: Mauler

  1. ECW on SyFy 7/14/09

    2 Comments

    I remembered to watch ECW this week!  We’re gonna do this in real-time, so refresh every 10 minutes or so if you’re reading while the show is on!

    ECW is coming to us from Miami Florida, where the fans are chanting ECW to kick off the show.  Speaking of kicking off the show, the number one contender for the ECW Championship at Night of Champions, Christian, is the first superstar out this evening.  His opponent is the guy who got his revenge on Yoshi Tatsu last week, Shelton Benjamin.

    Shelton Benjamin def. Christian

    Christian was in control of this match, but he climbed to the top rope and Vladimir Kozlov’s music played and the Moscow Mauler made his way down to the ring, allowing Benjamin to dropkick Christian to the outside, and allowing us to take a quick…

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Kozlov has joined in on commentary, and Shelton Benjamin has taken control of this match.  Christian shows some signs of life but The Gold Standard keeps on him.  Christian manages some separation and hits a missile dropkick.  At one point, Christian gets Benjamin draped over the ropes, and some little kid starts chanting “619, 619.”  Christian didn’t oblige, however, instead standing on the back of Benjamin and choking him across the ropes.  Benjamin hit an armbreaker from the top rope on Christian, but only scored a two count.  Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Benjamin manages to escape.  He tosses Christian shoulder first into the ringpost and hits Paydirt for the win.

    Kozlov smiles at the announce table after the match and says that Christian is “nothing.”

    Last week on ECW, Ezekiel Jackson, who is a part of the new superstar initiative despite the fact we used to see him on SmackDown every week, beat the hell out of some jobber.  This week, he’s here with Gregory Helms.  He’s very happy to be on ECW, and he’s only got one chance to make a good first impression.  Helms asks if he felt he needed to break out of The Brian Kendrick’s shadow.  Jackson says Kendrick hired him because he needed him.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Paul Burchill is already in the ring.  Know what that means?  That means he’s doing the job.  His opponent was impressive the last couple of weeks in matches with Shelton Benjamin, Yoshi Tatsu.

    Yoshi Tatsu def. Paul Burchill

    Burchill is aggressive to kick things off, which should be expected from The Ripper.  Tatsu fights back, but not for long, Burchill locks in a camel clutch.  Tatsu fights out of it and starts throwing kicks.  Tatsu goes for a springboard missile dropkick but he slips (and much to Drowgoddess’s delight, there’s no “you f*&#ed up” chant).  Burchill takes advantage, but Tatsu manages to hit a “buzzsaw-like” kick to the head of Burchill (to which Matt Striker exclaims, “you’ve got to be Karate Kidding me!”) and picks up the victory.

    Still to come, Tommy Dreamer takes on Vladimir Kozlov

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    ZZ Top will be the guest hosts of RAW next Monday.

    Tiffany is in her office, and Tyler Rekes enters her office and asks about actually wrestling on ECW instead of on Superstars.  She says she’ll book him for next week.

    This week, however, she’s booked somebody else.  You might know him.  If you do, you will remember the name… Goldust.  Can you guess who his opponent is?  Did you guess Zack Ryder?  Woo Woo Woo, you know it!

    Zack Ryder def. Goldust

    Good to see Goldust actually getting to wrestle instead of being stuck in stupid backstage skits.  It’s not like the guy can’t wrestle.  Realistically, this should be a showcase for Ryder with Goldust getting his offense in, and thusfar, that’s what it’s been.  I just noticed – there’s a new referee!  I have no idea what his name is, and we’ll probably never find out.  Goldust hits a Bionic Elbow from the middle rope, but he didn’t do the little dance that Dusty used to do, so he only got a two count.  Ryder winds up hitting the Zack Attack moments later and picking up the win.

    RAW REBOUND: Guest Host Seth Green got himself involved in the main event.  As in, he wrestled as the tag team partner of John Cena and Triple H as they took on Legacy.  His team lost by disqualification.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Strange things have been happening in ECW, involving a mysterious superhero in green who “blew in and saved the day.”  Hahaha, blew in.  Matt Striker, you’re so punny.

    Sheamus is set for action against some jobber.  Sheamus tells him that he’s come to plant his flag as the most dominant superstar in ECW.

    Sheamus def. Roman Cornell

    If you’re over 15 years of age, you’ll recall the original WWF Superstars of Wrestling television program.  You’ll also recall the matches – the established star beats the crap out of the newcomer.  That’s what this felt like, despite the fact that Sheamus is a new guy himself.  Sheamus picks up the easy win.

    Up next, Tommy Dreamer takes on Vladimir Kozlov

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Next week, Christian and Tommy Dreamer will be guests on the Abraham Washington show.

    Vladimir Kozlov is smiling on his way to the ring.  I don’t want to see this guy smile, I want to see this guy kick ass, because that’s what he does, he kicks ass.  Speaking of guys that kick ass, Tommy Dreamer is Kozlov’s opponent.  I’m looking forward to a good fight here, that will probably get interrupted by Christian.

    Tommy Dreamer vs. Vladimir Kozlov

    You know, I was looking for a fight, and I got a wrestling match early on here.  The thing is, even though these are two very tough guys who could easily kick your ass, they’re also capable of wrestling.  The action spills to the outside, and Dreamer ducked a kick from Kozlov, who kicked the steel post instead.  Very good match here.  Not a match of the year contender by any means, but it’s entertaining.  Kozlov catches Dreamer coming off the top rope with a headbutt to the chest, and drops the ECW Champion with a modified spinebuster for the victory.

    Kozlov locks in a submission hold on Dreamer after the match, prompting Christian to come out for the save.  Kozlov ducks Christian, who inadvertently hits Tommy Dreamer instead, then Kozlov nails a headbutt to the chest of Christian, leaving both the ECW Champion and his number one contender lying in the ring as the show goes off the air.

    My Thoughts: Both the ECW Champion and his number one contender lost their matches tonight, and were both left lying by Vladimir Kozlov at the end of the show.  I enjoyed tonight’s show, and I’m glad that Yoshi Tatsu and Sheamus were part of it.  Out of the new Superstars they’ve debuted on this show over the last couple of weeks, those are the guys I think have what it takes to make it.  I’m not sure about Tyler Rekes yet, and Abraham Washington hasn’t really done anything.  It was an enjoyable show tonight for sure.  I’ll see you guys Friday for SmackDown!

  2. SmackDown on DVR review – 2/6/09

    8 Comments

    I was thinking about doing this review before the show even aired in my area, watching it early via YouTube around 2:30PM.  Then I figured, screw it, I can get drunk and review the show later (on DVR after the Sabres game against the Canadiens), since a drunken review may be entertaining.  So now I’m finally awake, got some more nachos (hooray, more nachos!), a beer by my side, and I’m ready to fire up the DVR and watch WWE SmackDown! (more…)

  3. SmackDown review – 1/23/09

    5 Comments

    What’s up, folks?  An inexplicably tired ThinkSoJoE here with you after a short nap to review the blue brand’s go home show before the Royal Rumble.  Triple H has been ordered by SmackDown General Manager Vickie Guerrero to face the Moscow Mauler Vladimir Kozlov tonight, and WWE Champion Jeff Hardy, who was burned in a pyrotechnics accident at the close of last week’s broadcast, giving us an update on his condition just two days before his title defense against the Rated R Superstar, Edge!

    SmackDown results, after the jump! (more…)

  4. Survivor Series quick results – 11/23/08

    Leave a Comment

    I should’ve done this when I re-watched the show, but since I didn’t, here’s the quick results of WWE Survivor Series 2008.

    Team HBK defeated Team JBL.  Your sole survivors:  HBK, Rey Mysterio, & The Great Khali.  I’ve always hated when there’s more than one person left on the winning team, and they call them “Sole Suvivors.”  That’s like naming a band “The Lone Rangers.”  Isn’t that right, cast of Airheads?

    Team RAW Divas defeated Team SmackDown Divas.  Your sole survivor:  Beth Phoenix.  Maryse put on a pretty strong showing in this one.

    The Undertaker defeated The Big Show in a casket match.  In a unique finish, Show destroyed the first casket, but when a second casket was brought out, he stood it up on it’s side.  The Undertaker whipped Show into it, sending it crashing to the ground with Show inside, the lid closing behind him.

    Team Orton defeated Team Batista.  Your sole survivors: Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes.  Orton blind tagged Rhodes when Batista had him up for a Batista Bomb.  The Legend Killer dropped the unsuspecting Batista with an RKO for the victory.

    Edge defeated Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov in a triple threat match to win the WWE Championship.  Yes, you read that right, Edge won the WWE Championship.  Storyline wise, Jeff Hardy was assaulted in his hotel and rendered unable to compete in the match.  The match started off as a singles match between Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov.  After a hard fought fight, Triple H dropped Kozlov with a Pedigree, though he was too out of it to make the cover.  Vickie Guerrero game out on the stage and announced that it’s going to be a triple threat after all, because “he’s here!”  “He” turned out to be Edge, who came out and speared Triple H.  Before he could make the cover though, Jeff Hardy came out and attacked him.  Hardy swung with a chair, missing Edge and connecting with The Game, followed by a shot for the Moscow Mauler.  When he went to swing for Edge, he ate a spear instead.  Edge covered Triple H for the three and won the WWE Championship!

    John Cena def. Chris Jericho to win the World Heavyweight Championship.  After the match, Cena celebrated with his family in the crowd before walking up the ramp triumphant as the new World Heavyweight Championship.

    Looks like we’ve got a good week of WWE programming in store for us this week!