I was thinking about doing this review before the show even aired in my area, watching it early via YouTube around 2:30PM. Then I figured, screw it, I can get drunk and review the show later (on DVR after the Sabres game against the Canadiens), since a drunken review may be entertaining. So now I’m finally awake, got some more nachos (hooray, more nachos!), a beer by my side, and I’m ready to fire up the DVR and watch WWE SmackDown!
For the second time this week, we’ve got a WWE show actually starting with it’s intro video!
JR and Tazz welcome us to – wherever SmackDown is broadcast from this week. Are we going to find out who the other two superstars in SmackDown’s elimination chamber are later on tonight? We’ll find out! Speaking of, Edge and Big Show are taking on Triple H and The Undertaker in tag team action tonight.
Vladimir Kozlov and The Great Khali enter the ring, where several other SmackDown Superstars are waiting for them, we’ve got a battle royal to fill in one of the slots of the SmackDown Elimination Chamber. Vickie Guerrero comes out and tells us that if Jeff Hardy recovers in time, he’ll be in the Elimination Chamber.
Vladimir Kozlov won a 20 man battle royal to qualify for the SmackDown Elimination Chamber
Scotty Goldman is eliminated first. Kizarny is gone next. Jesse is eliminated by Shelton Benjamin, who is in turn eliminated by MVP, who is then eliminated by Chavo Guerrero. Benjamin gives a hard shot to MVP on the outside, and we go to…
Khali tosses out Chavo and Kung Fu Naki when we come back. The Brian Kendrick gets tossed onto the two of them. Hawkins and Ryder are eliminated by Khali, but he’s eliminated by Vladimir Kozlov. Primo and Carlito are dumped out by Kozlov, and that leaves R-Truth and the Moscow Mauler – but not for long. Kozlov dumps R-Truth over the top, and he’s going to No Way Out to compete for the WWE Championship.
After the match, Kozlov takes a mic and he says that he won the battle royal and he’ll win the Elimination Chamber and become the Champion.
Still to come, Triple H & The Undertaker take on Edge and The Big Show.
WrestleMania Moment: WrestleMania 2. You know, why don’t they do a WrestleMania from three venues again? It would give more people a chance to be a part of the experience of the event. Trust me, if you’ve been to WWE events, but not a WrestleMania, you still don’t know what you’re missing. There is NOTHING like WrestleMania live!
Todd Grisham is with Hurricane Helms, who is wearing a Hurricane t-shirt. WHASSUPWITDAT? Anyways, Grish wants to know what Helms thinks of what Matt Hardy did to Jeff at the Royal Rumble. Helms says he was surprised at first, but thinking back, he shouldn’t have been. He’s known the Hardys a long time, and Matt’s always had an ego. Jeff finally achieved his dream, but then Matt took it all away. Helms doesn’t think Matt became a new person, he thinks Matt’s revealed who he was all along. Jeff’s not here to stick up for himself, but Helms is, and he’s going to find Hardy.
In Vickie Guerrero’s office, she wants to know what’s wrong with Edge. Edge tells her he’s fine, he’s great, he’s only got to defend his title in the Elimination Chamber against five of the top guys on SmackDown. Big Show asks if Edge wants to have a pep talk for their match. Edge says Show better not walk out on him again or else Vickie will take him out of the Elimination Chamber. Vickie says nobody’s walking out on anybody. Show tells Edge “I believe in you.”
You know, I’m surprised that WWE isn’t trying to say that more people watched them than the Super Bowl last week.
Matt Hardy is in the ring, he says that if Hurricane Helms is looking for him, he’s in the ring. Since Jeff’s not here and he’s got such a problem, why doesn’t Helms come and do something about it. Helms runs down to the ring swinging, and we’ve got a good old fashioned brawl. Matt tries to escape, but Helms comes after him. Matt sends Helms into the steel ring steps, then tosses him back in the ring. Inside, Matt locks in a modified Rings of Saturn, and elbows Hurricane into a state of unconsciousness, but won’t let up until officials run down to stop him.
Still to come, Edge and The Big Show take on The Undertaker and Triple H.
WrestleMania is just 58 days away!
The Gold Standard, the United States Champion Shelton Benjamin makes his way to the ring for action. He takes a mic and says that some people can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality. The reality is that Shelton Benjamin is the longest reigning current champion in the entire WWE, while his opponent thinks that two lucky wins doesn’t make him qualified to try and take the title away from him. This isn’t Cinderella – there’s no fairy Godmother, and there’s no happy endings. We’re going to have to change his name from MVP to VPM – that’s “Very Peyton Manning” – because just like Peyton Manning, with the big game on the line, MVP will blow it. MVP makes his way down to the ring, and we’re ready for action.
MVP def. Shelton Benjamin in a non title match
MVP is aggressive early, but Benjamin changes the momentum with a T-Bone Suplex. He goes for Pay Dirt, but MVP turns it around. It’s all Benjamin for a while until MVP breaks out of an abdominal stretch. Benjamin gets a two off of a bridged German suplex. MVP ducks a Dragon Whip kick, and boots Benjamin in the face for a two count. From here, it’s a very competitive matchup, and MVP hits the driveby kick out of nowhere to pick up the victory over the United States Champion!
Backstage, Carlito and Primo are greeted by the Bella Twins who give them kisses on the cheek for luck. The WWE Tag Team Champions explain that it’s a tough match tonight, which gets them another kiss. R-Truth joins up with them, and apparently we’ve got a six man tag match coming up next!
WWE Smack of the Night: The Miz and John Morrison defeated Primo and Carlito in non-title action two weeks back.
The World Tag Team Champions make their way out to the ring for six man tag action. Hopefully this is going somewhere – like unifying the two tag team titles and having them defended over all three brands. Same thing should go with the three World Championships. There are too many titles in the WWE at the moment, it’s watering them down. Anyways, that’s a rant for another time (like, after the 10 part series on WWE Pay Per View and the WrestleMania article that’s coming up in 58 days). Miz and Morrison’s partner is The Brian Kendrick. R-Truth come s out rapping with Primo and Carlito – and almost screws up. I’d think the heels have the advantage here, since Truth, Primo, and Carlito were all in the Battle Royal earlier and only The Brian Kendrick from the other team was.
The Brian Kendrick, The Miz & John Morrison def Primo, Carlito, & R-Truth
At one point in this match, Miz and Morrison hit a double gutbuster on R-Truth, and the announcers make a reference to Demolition! Hooray, Demolition! Anyways, the World Tag Team Champions and The Brian Kendrick cut the ring in half and keep R-Truth away from his partners. R-Truth finally gets a tag in to Carlito, who takes control over The Brian Kendrick. All hell breaks loose from there, and when the dust settles, The Brian Kendrick drops Carlito with The Kendrick for the victory!
Jeff Hardy will be on SmackDown next week!
Last month, Michelle McCool beat the holy hell out of Eve. Speaking of Eve, she’s walking backstage and is apparently in action against Michelle McCool, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK> You know, I love the phrase “Friday, February 13th.” Not because the new Friday the 13th remake comes out that day (because I hate remakes and won’t see it), but because unless it’s a leap year, that means that mine and JT’s birthday will be Friday the 13th in November. I’m cooler than JT, btw – I was born on Friday the 13th!
We come back to a video package on the WWE Divas Champion, Maryse.
Eve looks happy, yet terrified as she makes her way to the ring for her first official match here on WWE SmackDown. Michelle McCool, on the other hand, looks confident as she makes her entrance.
Michelle McCool def. Eve
Michelle just toys with Eve early on. She gets overconfident, however, and Eve gets a burst of energy, rolling for a moment before Michelle rolls out of the ring to slow down the pace, citing something in her eye. When she gets back in the ring, she takes control back. Eve tries to fight back, but Michelle just dominates. Michelle locks in a modified half crab, but Eve manages to fight out of it. Eve even gets a two count off of a hotshot, and then starts with offense of her own. Michelle catches her off of the top rope and locks in the Brazillian Heel Hook and Eve’s got no choice but to tap out.
Michelle refuses to let go of the hold, at least until Maria comes running down to the ring to chase her away.
Matt Hardy is asked by JR about his brother coming back next week. Matt says that he’d like to re–iterate that he doesn’t have a brother anymore, and before we all get excited about Jeff coming back, we should remember a lot can happen in seven days. He might have another accident. If Jeff should show up though, Matt will be waiting for him with open arms.
Still to come, Edge and The Big Show take on Triple H and The Undertaker.
WrestleMania Moment: WrestleMania X.
YOUMANGA~! makes his way out to the ring for dinner action. His victim opponent tonight is Kung Fu Naki.
YOUMANGA~! def. Kung Fu Naki.
Umaga destroyed Kung Fu Naki as I played a little tune with my empty and half full beer bottles.
The Game is gearing up for action. Did you know he’s teaming with The Undertaker to face Edge and The Big Show later tonight?
RAW: Orton tried to destroy Shane and Stephanie McMahon
We get a rundown of the No Way Out card.
You think you know me.
Edge is ready for action as he makes his way to the ring. His tag team partner, The Big Show is out next.
Triple H waits for the break to be over to make his entrance. Which means that The Undertaker is going to get a full entrance and this match will be short. Yep. HURRY THE F*(# UP AND GET TO THE RING, UNDERTAKER!
I really don’t care about this match. The only guy I’m a huge fan of in here is Edge – not to say I don’t respect the other three guys, just that Edge is the one I’ve become – and remained – a huge fan of over the years. Anyways, Triple H almost Pedigrees Edge out of a Spear just before the…
It’s Triple H in control of the match when we come back – at least until Show tags himself in and takes over. Show tags Edge back in once Triple H is reeling. From there, the WWE Champion and The Big Show cut the ring in half and continued their assault on Triple H. Show missed an elbow drop, which caused some well needed Separation for Triple H. The Game drops Show with a tornado DDT, and gets the hot tag to The Undertaker who cleans house. ‘Taker hits Old School on Edge, but he gets distracted by The Big Show on the outside. Edge tries to capitalize, but Undertaker locks in the Devil’s Gate, which is broken up by a Big Show leg drop. Taker tags Triple H back in, and The Game hits the facebuster on Edge, but gets chokeslammed by The Big Show out of a Pedigree attempt. Edge and Show argue momentarily, which causes Show to knock him out with a big right hand. Show walks back over to the corner, and Triple H gets the tag in to The Undertaker, who hits the Tombstone on Edge and pins him as The Big Show just watches.
Big Show leaves, as Triple H stares at a fallen Edge while Undertaker stares at Triple H. ‘Taker looks back at Triple H, and SmackDown goes off the air.
My Thoughts: Matt Hardy’s words about his brother seemed pretty cryptic, don’t you think? If I were Edge, I would fake an injury and get Vickie to make the WWE Championship Elimination Chamber into a number one contenders match, that way, Edge would be guaranteed to still be champion come WrestleMania. That’s just me though. I’ve got nothing else this week. Stay tuned for Random Randomness tomorrow and part two of our WWE Pay Per View series this Sunday!
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