Money In The Bank Archives - Page 5 of 11

RAW 7.4.11

July 4, 2011 11:17 pm 8 Comments

Ladies and gentlemen, I exist!! I missed you all so much, and I wanna say thanks to the boss man, ThinkSoJoE and Gee, both of which have covered for me a lot lately. I appreciate it. Unfortunately, my situation’s a bit of a bitchy one. I may not be able to cover RAW for you all on a weekly basis. It turns out that I only get my schedule Friday or Saturday nights, and it only covers a week. I never know if I’m working Monday nights during RAW or not. So, I may end up just being a guest reviewer again. I’m sorry!! But, I’ll cover it as long as I’m able!

Anyway, enough of that. Happy Fourth of July everyone! I hope you enjoy it, and I hear fireworks going off now, but I’m ignoring them for the first time in my LIFE to write the RAW Review for you all, since I have been unable to do so for a while. Also, I don’t know what’s been going on. I know Punk got suspended/fired/fed the fuck up, but that’s all I know. Also, thanks to WWE’s FaceBook page, I know that we’ll have a Triple Threat Match between R-Truth, Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio to see who will face John Cena at Money in the Bank for the WWE Championship! OH GOODIE!

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TABLES HURT ME!

John Cena makes his way to the ring with considerably less pomp and circumstance than normal. He looks unhappy… Wonder why. Cena says that there’s major unrest in the WWE Universe. Apparently, Punk said some things that didn’t quite mesh too well with the brass in the WWE. So much so that because of his recent outburst, the WWE has suspended him indefinitely. What that means Is he’s also stripped of his right to compete in his last match in his hometown to face John for the WWE Championship. The WWE has thrown together a Triple Threat match to find a replacement Number One Contender. As for CM Punk, we are just supposed to sweep him under the rug, ignore his accomplishments, outbursts, legacy, and pretend he never existed. John’s never seen eye-to-eye with Punk and he has a voice, and he’s weighing in on the WWE’s decision, and he says it sucks. Punk and John don’t agree on everything, especially Punk’s concept of loyalty to the WWE brand. But Punk has been suspended for speaking his mind, telling everyone how he feels? John knows exactly it’s a PG show and knows what he can and cannot say, but John found nothing wrong with it, despite not agreeing with it. His question to us, the WWE Universe, is where does this stop? Where does the WWE stop? There was an incident where Daniel Bryan was fired for being too aggressive. There’s speculation that WWE can confiscate signs we make. And Punk has been suspended indefinitely for speaking his mind? The audience is chanting First Amendment. John looks like the Kool-Aid Man in jorts. Does the audience have to act a certain way? Cena says that the program is bigger than emails back and forth, so there will be no more back and forth with an anonymous GM during his tirade. Cena was answers from Mr. McMahon. Vince is on his way tonight and promises to be in the building. And when Vince gets there, they’re going to talk it out in the ring, not backstage. And Vince has some ‘splainin to do. More importantly, we will hear first hand from our WWE Champion that he wants to face CM Punk at Money in the Bank.

Oh, God. Next up, the fakey-Champ, Kelly Kelly and Eve are facing the whores. Just saying.

@KeepItFiveStar “I called Vince McMahon earlier today. He is on speed dial. I have him #6 He’s in my group known as AC/DC buddies” – John Cena

@ThingsColeSays OMG, Cena’s not running to the ring! He must be SUPER CEREAL.

@HitTheRopes Haven’t read the spoilers but I’ll assume the Divas match ends under 2 minutes. #WWE

@Niki_Sushi I don’t know ’bout y’all, but I refuse to Chris Benoit @CMPunk. #BWF #RAW #ImSuspended

@KeepItFiveStar Kelly Kelly has moved on from Justin Gabriel with the new man in her life, Eve Torres.

Hey, look! The Miz finally gave up the Money in the Bank briefcase!

The Bella Twins vs. Diva’s Champion Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres

… Don’t get me wrong, okay. I believe that women can wrestle very well. I just don’t believe these women (and Eve) can wrestle well. That’s all.

Anyway. I’m sure there was a match, but I was trying to develop X-Ray vision to see through the house behind me to see the fireworks. It didn’t work.

Divas Champion Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres win via pinfall.

Hey, Andy won WWE Tough Enough. Whoever that was.

R-Truth is on the phone with Flo, from Progressive about getting him some insurance. Scott Stanford interrupts and says that he wants Truth’s thoughts on the Triple Threat match and getting another chance against Cena. Truth says he should be rewarded a title match, not having to compete in the Triple Threat match. A conspiracy. The good news is he saved 15% by switching over to Geico on his car insurance (…). The bad news, someone’s gonna get got. He turns around to see Alberto del Rio and then says “First Little Jimmy, now Senor Jimmy?!” Rio says it’s all about destiny, and his destiny is to become the new WWE Champion, but… Truth already knows that.

@HitTheRopes Truth is talking to Flo? Is it Aunt Flo? Is Truth on the rag? #WWE

@CMPunkSays OK, he was just talking to the Progressive lady, and now he plugs GEICO? They have no idea what they’re talking about, do they? #WWE

@KeepItFiveStar You see what had happen was Kelly Kelly & her Sindel screaming popped the Bellas eardrums. She took advantage and got the win. She cheated

@KeepItFiveStar Kelly Kelly with her Bugs Bunny style of sexual harassment offense

@kickoutblog Eve’s rump-shaking moonsault is as bad as Victoria’s. #SheAintALadyToMessWit

@seraphalexiel Random: I remember the time when Brie went to Maria to make her two of the exact same wrestling gear when they didn’t admit Nikki existed

@ULTIMATEMARKOUT YOU CAN LOOK BUT YOU CAN’T WRESTLE

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. WWE Tag Team Champions David Otunga and Michael McGuillicutty

I’m mad they came out to CM Punk’s music. Put it back to that “We Are One” bullshit. THAT’S RIGHT! PUT IT BACK! Hey, wait. Otunga, this is your chance to take that shit over! Oh, wait, you suck.

Otunga and Marella start it out with Otunga pushing Santino back and Santino tells him to try it again. Otunga does it again and Santino fakes a kick to Otunga, who returns by dropping Santino to the ground painfully. Otunga Whips Santino, who jumps over Otunga and goes for the Cobra. Otunga runs out of the ring, however, and then climbs back in, tagging in McGuillicutty. McGuillicutty kicks Santino, then drops him to the ground. McGuillicutty stands him up, and Santino punches him before dropping him and smacking his head against the turnbuckle. Kozlov gets tagged in and goes for a quick cover, but McGuillicutty kicks out. Kozlov drives some hard shoulders into McGuillicutty, then tags in Santino. Santino is then thrown into McGuillicutty’s torso and goes for a cover. It doesn’t work and he tags in Kozlov, who dominates McGuillicutty, dropping him onto the top ropes. Kozlov goes to throw McGuillicutty, but Otunga distracts him and McGuillicutty takes advantage, quickly tagging in Otunga, both of them double-teaming Kozlov. Otunga kicks Kozlov in the head and then goes for a cover, but Kozlov kicks out. Santino starts a Kozlov chant and Kozlov starts to fight back, but Otunga stops him and tags in McGuillicutty. The two try to suplex him, but Kozlov double suplexes them instead and tags in Santino, who blocks McGuillicutty’s hit and then hits him back, avoiding both of them trying to get him with a split. Santino dive-head butts McGuillicutty, and then sets up the Cobra, but has to hit Otunga with it. McGuillicutty takes advantage and hits Santino with a swinging neckbreaker for the win.

WWE Tag Team Champions David Otunga and Michael McGuillicutty win via pinfall.

OOOH RADIO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!

OMFG IT’S ZACK!

“Woo woo woo. You know it.”

That’s it. I think that he’s definitely throwing down a challenge, and no one’s smart enough to get it.

Money in the Bank ladder match participants: Swagger, Kofi, Rey, Evan, Truth, Rio, Riley, Miz. (unless Truth, Rey, or Rio win tonight).

Coming up tonight, Alex Riley will face The Miz again, one on one.

@dasharpshooters David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty cannot use CM Punk’s theme. Thats like JTG using Shawn Michaels’ music. #wwe #raw

@KeepItFiveStar ZACK RYDER!!!!

@CMPunkSays RYDER RYDER RYDER #WWE

@JRosz78 Oh SHIT Ryder on my tv!!!!!!!

@kickoutblog Webgasm on the way. Zack Ryder is here.

@Niki_Sushi Twitter just blew up. #BWF #RAW #RyderRevolution

!HitTheRopes Holy hell @ZackRyder just made a Raw moment. Don’t know what that moment is but it’s a moment. #WWE

@redsandman99 Zack Ryder appears and 99% of my timeline jizzed themselves.

Vince still has to come out and answer us.

Scott Stanford tells Miz he’s never beat Riley and tonight, are we going to see something new? Miz says that CM Punk has been suspended so there’s another golden opportunity to be WWE Champion, but he wasn’t picked because of Alex Riley. Riley’s a nuisance who sent him off course. Miz could have kicked him to the curb a long time ago, but Miz gave him an opportunity, one that he abused. Miz brought him into the WWE, and he will take him out tonight. It all ends tonight. Because he’s the Miz, and he’s awesome.

Evan and Sgt. Slaughter are backstage, and Evan says that they’re lucky to have him out here tonight. Sgt. Slaughter says that he’s happy to be there to lead everyone in the Pledge of Allegiance. Swagger says that Slaughter was around when the country got their independence, and Swagger should lead the WWE Universe in the Pledge. Slaughter says that everyone makes mistake: him, Evan, Jack’s parents by not using birth control. Swagger says Slaughter should make a mistake by getting in the ring with Swagger.

Now we see “earlier tonight” that McMahon’s jet has landed.

Later tonight, a Triple Threat match with Truth vs Rey vs Alberto.

@Niki_Sushi DAMMIT @WWEUniverse! YOU SHOULD’VE WARNED ME ABOUT EVAN! I JUST SQUEE’D MYSELF! #BWF #RAW

@CMPunkSays Someone call GLAAD! Oh wait, he said “maggot.” False alarm. #WWE #Raw

Jack Swagger vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter and Swagger lock up, then Swagger breaks it with a knee to Slaughter’s gut. He then backs Slaughter into a corner and Slaughter starts fighting back, delivering hard hits to Swagger’s chest. Slaughter starts to Whip Swagger, but Swagger counters. Slaughter locks in the Cobra Clutch, but Swagger manages to fight out. Swagger bounces off the ropes to belly-flop on Slaughter and goes for the cover.

Jack Swagger wins via pinfall.

Swagger then locks in the ankle lock on Slaughter, only for Evan to come out. @Niki_Sushi just lost her mind. Evan chases Swagger out of the ring and talks to the ref to help Slaughter out, and keeps an eye on Swagger as well, who seems to have injured his pride pretty deeply. Evan gets a microphone for Slaughter, and Slaughter starts the Pledge of Allegiance.

Up next, the Triple Threat Number One Contender match.

@Niki_Sushi Guess the Sarge’s chin just wasn’t into the match.. #BWF #RAW

@CMPunkSays EVAN BOURNE IS AMERICA, AND SO CAN YOU #WWE #Raw

@kickoutblog I was really hoping Sarge would’ve turned on Bourne there and formed an All-American alliance with Jackie Swaggs.

Alberto del Rio vs R-Truth (and his lame intro) vs Rey Mysterio

1) Where the FUCK is Ricardo Rodriguez? Wait, I’m sure I actually missed this in the past few weeks. Nevermind.

2) GET SOME GODDAMN THEME MUSIC, R-TRUTH! The overwhelming sound of boos that greets you is about to become your permanent theme.

… Anyway, let’s get on with the match. Because I love more than two people in the ring at a time.

Rio starts immediately on Truth, and Rey goes to town on Rio, then on Truth. Rio delivers a harsh kick to Rey’s knee, then head. Rio throws Rey into a turnbuckle, but Rey moves when Rio tries to jump on him. Rey starts for Truth, but Rio dropkicks him in the head. Rio kicks Truth in the head, then tries to grab Truth before Truth rolls out. Rio then focuses on Rey again, going for a quick cover, but Rey kicks out. Rio Whips Rey, who holds onto the ropes and ducks, sending Rio through them and onto the floor.

Truth gets back in the ring and Rey’s focus is on Rio, but Truth spins and does some purty thing to distract Rey. Truth goes for the cover, but Rey kicks out. Truth pounds on Rey’s head and screams ‘What’s up now?!’, which gets his theme going again. Truth stomps on Rey, who rolls under the bottom rope and falls right out of the ring. Truth follows him out and slaps him right by the audience. Truth then throws Rey head first into the guard rail, and focuses on Rio, throwing him into the fan barrier guard rail thingamajig too. Truth turns his focus back to Rey and kicks him in the stomach. Rey gets back in the ring, and truth goes for another cover, but Rey kicks out. Rey stands up, but Truth follows and Whips him into the other turnbuckle, going for another quick cover. Rey kicks out at two again. Truth argues with the ref.

New block! Truth goes right back to beating on Rey before stepping on his neck. Truth stands Rey up and pimp slaps that ho for not giving him is money! Slaps Rey, but something happens and Truth goes out to beat up Rio for a minute. Rey starts to fight back on Truth, back in the ring, and Truth side-slams Rey. Truth goes for another cover, but Rey kicks out again. Rio comes back into the ring by attacking Truth and then going after Rey again. Rey kicks Rio in the face and Rey then hurricanranas Rio. Truth focuses on Rey again and throws Rey into the turnbuckle. Rey and Truth are on the turnbuckle and Rio fights Truth. Rio gets Truth on his shoulders, Rey then launches on both of them. And-

@HitTheRopes The fact that Mysterio is wearing white just makes Truth seem even darker.

@KeepItFiveStar What the hell is with Rey’s titantron? He’s trying to cause seizures! What a horrible person.

@Niki_Sushi Alberto Del Rio isn’t nearly as cool as he thinks he is. Ricardo Rodriguez brought it all to the table. #RAW #BWF #ButYouAlreadyKnewThat

@HitTheRopes Mark Henry rewind = someone’s gonna get their ass kicked. #WWE

@TKeep123 “Say the pledge, damn it!” -What Slaughter is thinking…. #WWR #RAW #BWF

OHSHITSORRYGOTDISTRACTED!

Rio is owning Rey now. Rey is Whipped across the ring and starts to show momentum, but Rio puts a stop to that and goes for a cover, but Rey kicks out. Rey tries to hide in the corner, but Rio follows and Whips him into another buckle. Rey gives a drop toe hold to Rio, sending his face right into the turnbuckle. Truth is on the apron and sends his shoulder into Rey’s abdomen. Rey stops Truth from lifting Rey off his feet and Rio does something, and then Truth is pimp slapping smacking Rio, then Truth tries to pin Rio. Truth then drops Rey onto his stomach and goes for a cover, but Rio breaks the cover. Rio hits the Codbreaker Backstabber whatever it was on Truth and Rey breaks up the pin. Rio then takes it out on Rey and Rey puts his knee in Rio’s face, but Truth breaks up the pin. I hate Triple Threat matches.

Truth gets Rey to his feet, kicks him in the stomach, then hits the scissor kick Lie Detector and goes for a cover, but Rio breaks the pin. Rio throws Truth into a corner, but Truth dives out of the way when Rio comes at him. Rey hits the 619, climbs up, and then hits the seated Senton. Rio comes in with the cross arm breaker and it’s all over.

Alberto del Rio wins via submission.

John Cena still needs to confront Vince McMahon about CM Punk. That needs to hurry up and get here.

@HitTheRopes What a loser Rey is. He tapped immediately. He didn’t even try to see if Truth would try to break the submission. #Reycist #WWE

@imababyface thats not vintage del rio…thats vintage Carlito!

@WWE_Creative Density has bought Alberto Del Rio to the #1 Contender Slot. #RAWTonight

I am perfection!!!

Holy shit, Dolph is important again! … Well, important-ish.

Vickie and United States Champion Dolph Ziggler make their way to the ring, where there’s a whole celebration set up. Vickie says it’s a special night and we’re celebrating the USA’s birthday! And, since Ziggler is OUR United States Champion, she thought (her first mistake) it’d be fitting if we gave him a birthday to him as well. So, let’s all join her in singing. But, that’s not about to happen. Oh, minus those five people. And Cole.

Vickie sings like Jillian Hall, just lower octave. That’s all.

She asks if he wants to tell us his wish before she blows out his candle-I MEAN HE BLOWS OUT HIS CANDLES!

Dolph says we have no idea how good we have it, witnessing the finest superstar in his prime, or something, and there will never be another Dolph Ziggler. They don’t have an idea what it’s like to be a natural in the ring. Forget Punk, Cena, the WWE Title, and as long as he’s the United States Champion, this is the only title we need to make Monday Night RAW perfection.

Kofi comes out and says that we’re gonna have a party and not invite him? That’s messed up. He guesses Dolph could come out and brag all day and have a party title celebration, but the fact of the matter is that without Vickie in his corner, Dolph cannot beat Kofi. Dolph says he got dis. Kofi, he and Dolph used to be toe to toe, but Kofi’s still here (low), and Dolph’s on his way here (high) (Hahaha, there’s a joke there). Dolph just left him in the dust, so in case Kofi didn’t notice, they’re having a party so BEAT IT! BEAT IT! NO ONE WATNS TO BE DEFEATED! Something happens, but I was jamming to Michael Jackson in my head and Vickie ends up ass first in the cake. Kofi and Dolph fight, and Kofi sends Dolph into Vickie, who ends up torso first in the cake. Vickie doesn’t scream this time, just calmly, with rage brewing deep inside, walks out of the ring.

Up next, Alex Riley and The Miz go one-on-one.

@Niki_Sushi Oh no, ass in the cake! OH NO! FACE IN THE CAKE! Vickie, you might as well just rub some cake on your arms. BATHE IN IT!!! #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Kofi, you have a M.I.T.B. match to focus on. You should move on from the U.S. Title

@KeepItFiveStar S.O.S! I hear them JOBBIN! S.O.S! Why am I tryinnnnnnn?! (I’m jobbin!”

@chynnacena Notice how vicky still licks the cake lmbo #wwe #raw #bwf

@WWE_Creative We may be the only company on the planet with a cake budget that high despite the fact that no one ever gets to eat the cake. #RAWTonight

The Miz vs Alex Riley

Hey! The Miz did his previous thing where he raises his arms with three fi-… Nevermind. I’m having a moment.

Riley runs to the ring and tries to go right for Miz, but the ref stops him.

Miz and Riley lock up, and Miz backs Riley into the corner. Riley shoves him off and Riley pushes Miz into the corner hitting him with forearms. Miz fights back and the two exchange blows. Riley hits a hard almost-clothesline on Miz and then kicks Miz out of the ring. Riley follows and slams Miz’ head on the fan barrier before throwing him back in the ring. Miz kicks Riley before stomping on him a few times. Miz bounces off the ropes to kick Riley in the face before going for the cover, Riley kicking out at two. Miz knees Riley’s chest a few times before gripping Riley’s neck. Riley tries to fight out of it before he finally does, throwing Miz off him. Miz moves out of the corner when Riley tries to hit him, then DDTs (or something) Riley and goes for the cover. Riley kicks out and Miz digs his knee into Riley’s neck. Miz hits Riley then goes for another cover, but Riley kicks out. Miz starts to hit Riley, but Riley blocks and delivers some hits of his own, but Miz fights back and drops Riley on his face before going for another cover. Miz tells Riley that he made him, and Riley’s had enough. He fights back against Miz and delivers hard shoulders to Miz’ torso before another DDT and cover, but Riley kicks out.

@JRosz78 Finally #RAW Just got AWEEEEEEEEESOME! @mikethemiz #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar No one is going to say anything to Alex Riley’s face. Look at what he did to The Miz after The Miz was brutally honest with him!

@kickoutblog WWE video editing team working overtime this week.

@Niki_Sushi According to Cole, Awry’s gonna get got. #BWF #RAW

Riley has the momentum via Riley throwing Miz to the ground, making him land on the back of his head. Both fight to get up and then Riley Spears Miz. The two move in a frenzy, but Riley is getting the upper hand, hitting a Spine buster. Miz kicks out at two, and Riley starts to hit something, but Miz counters. Miz hits his swinging corner clothesline on Riley and then starts to hit a backbreaker, but Riley counters and picks up a cheap victory.

Alex Riley wins via pinfall.

Rage finally gets the best of Miz, and Miz runs back in the ring, attacking Riley from behind and throwing him out of the ring. Miz follows Riley and drives Riley into the fan barrier and then over it, following him again. Miz throws Riley back over, then throws him into the steel steps. Miz stays right on top of Riley though, and tries to rip Riley’s face off via his nose and upper lip. Miz then bounces Riley’s head off the announce table and kicks him in the chin, right over the announce table.

A limo pulls up outside the arena, and out steps none other than Vincent Kennedy McMahon. He comes to the ring up next.

@KeepItFiveStar Charles Robinson with his white parent in a grocery store type of scolding “No Miz! Miz! You go back right now! Miz! Miz! MIZ! …NO!”

@kickoutblog The kick is good! Miz with the extra point!

@WWE_Creative Somewhere @TheRealMorrison is sitting at home with an @AlexRileyWWE voodoo doll. #RAWTonight

@HitTheRopes And finally, Vince McMahon finally decided to get off the Hulk Hogan route to the arena.

No chance, that’s what ya got…

Vince struts his way to the ring, as per usual. I’m going to watch DX mocking him and Shane after RAW’s over now.

Vince thanks us and then says the CM Punk thing has gotten out of hand. He suspended Punk because he deserved it. Really, it’s like when Punk comes out here and says the things he says and we’d do the same thing he did if we were in his shoes. It’s not about him and his family, it’s about him doing what’s right for us. That’s what he does. He was going to tell us a story about Vince? Vince will tell us a story about him. Punk’s contract is almost over. So, Punk says Vince this is what I want, special limo service, fly first class, etc. etc. Vince says Punk wasn’t worthy of being on DVDs/magazines, and he suspended Punk because he deserved it. Punk is just that, a punk. Vince says he’ll see us next week in Boston.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NO BULLSHIT!

Cena doesn’t even stop this time and walks right down to the ring.

Cena asks if that’s it. After an unbelievable tirade like that, a suspension, and stripping him of his number one contendership, Vince is going to call him a punk and kick him to the curb? Vince says that Punk did it to himself, and John says that he spoke his mind. Vince believes in the first amendment, right? Vince says that’s why Cena’s mic is still working. Cena says that Vince has always been a fighter. He remembers when Vince would walk down the ramp and do his walk (which Cena mimics terribly), and whoever stood in Vince’s way, Vince would fight. Vince took down people because he was a fighter. Punk says a few things that get under Vince’s skin, so Vince suspends him. Has Vince finally gone soft? Are those famous McMahon grapefruits now peach pits? If Vince doesn’t wanna fight anymore, Cena still wants to, and he wants to fight Punk. And if Vince doesn’t feel like fighting, maybe he should hang it up.

Vince says he’ll tell us why Vince really suspended Punk. Vince doesn’t wanna take a chance on Cena. Doesn’t wanna take a chance that Punk defeats Cena. Vince takes calculated risks, which is how he beat everyone who gets in his way. Therefore if Punk defeats Cena, Punk will walk out and into some other organization, and Vince will not be embarrassed. Cena says that the billionaire chairman afraid of being embarrassed. Vince is afraid of Cena not beating Punk. Cena says that he’s not going to guarantee he’s going to beat Punk, but Punk earned a spot and the people want to see it. Oh, and God forbid we embarrass Vince McMahon. As a member of the WWE Universe, MitB is the biggest PPV of the year. Can Punk pull it off? Can Cena win against Punk? It’s not embarrassing, it sounds like the match of the year. But some kid said something that Vince didn’t like, so Vince suspended him. Cena asks if he says something Vince doesn’t like, will Cena gets suspended? Vince tells him not to piss him off. Vince says don’t be Hogan or anyone that came before him. Vince says they’ll talk in front of these people, but talk to him one on one. Vince gave a logical explanation. Vince doesn’t wanna take the chance of being embarrassed. Cena says he should give the people what we want. Vince says Cena is embarrassing him now. Vince doesn’t give a damn what we want because he is not gonna jeopardize who he is and his company. Doesn’t John get this isn’t His company? Before John, there were others. Doesn’t John get that? It’s Vince’s company. And Vince does what’s right for the company, and for each and every one of us. His decisions are good ones. Vince asks if they’re good. John says he gets it and its Vince’s company. He gets it and he’s not stupid. But, if that’s how Vince wants to run it, it’s not something Cena signed up for. He gets it, everyone is replaceable. Cena works himself to the bone for Vince and the brand because he thinks that this stands for something. You’re so worried about Punk taking the championship and making it meaningless, and if you just kick him to the curb, you make it meaningless. Cena passes Vince the Championship and starts to walk out. Vince tells him to stop, and Cena does. Vince tells Cena not to go anywhere and makes his way out of the ring. Vince and Cena stand nose to nose, and then Vince says alright, I hate this has come between them. Punk’s reinstated, and Cena has his match. Vince says Cena shouldn’t be smiling because if Punk walks out of Chicago with the championship, Cena is fired.

Interesting RAW tonight, guys. I’ll be back… when I’m back. Sorry about the lack of appearance, guys. I’m working on it.

Random Randomness

July 3, 2011 11:48 am 2 Comments

Well Happy Independence Day to everyone here in the good old U.S.A. Every go out and celebrate and be safe. Also Happy Canada Day to our friends up north, hop you all had a good day. Now lets get this show on the road:

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WWE RAW 6/28/11: RAW Roulette

June 28, 2011 3:19 am 1 Comment

What? Me again? That’s right folks, it’s the Alpha BoredWrestlingFan, ThinkSoJoE here with you for a third straight week of RAW gimmickry! I don’t mind a gimmick show every now and then, but three weeks in a row? Last week we found out that CM Punk is leaving the company after the Money In The Bank Pay Per View, and he’s got a WWE Championship match that very same night. Also, the voting got screwed up during the Power to the People RAW, and tonight we’ll see Sin Cara take on Evan Bourne because of it. All this, and Shawn Michaels, tonight on RAW!

(more…)

RAW 6/20/11 – Power to the People

June 21, 2011 4:08 am 1 Comment

Alright, it’s Monday Night around 1 AM which means I’ve been playing Spider Solitaire and completely ignoring my facebook and twitter accounts in an effort to avoid spoilers. And since I was on a bus while this show was on and therefore unable to vote, it is my right – nay, my duty to complain about the results of each poll. This is the first time the WWE is ever putting the power in the hands of the people (since they canceled the Cyber Sunday PPV), so this could be interesting. Let’s get started…

(more…)

ThinkSoJoE on Edge

April 12, 2011 12:17 am 3 Comments

I’m going to go on record and say that at the time of this writing, I have not watched the April 11, 2011 episode of WWE RAW. Every Monday night I try to avoid the temptation of reading about what happened on the WWE’s flagship show when I was commuting to work prior to being able to watch the show. Tonight I made the mistake of going on Twitter and seeing a ton of tweets regarding Adam “Edge” Copeland. When I called home, as I usually do when I get to work, my fiancee made it a point to tell me that Edge is retiring. No matter how hard I try, news about Edge does not slip past my RADAR, and with good reason – Edge is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time.

Edge had everything you could want in a professional wrestler. He had great mic skills, he was amazing to watch in the ring, and he managed to evolve along with the business he lived his life for over the past fourteen years. For all fourteen of those, I’ve been an Edgehead. How could you not be? He always had the coolest entrance in the business, whether it was coming in through the crowd at the beginning of his WWE career, rising up through a ring of fire with The Brood, or emerging through a cloud of smoke to the heavy metal laden sounds of Rob Zombie’s “Never Gonna Stop” or Alter Bridge’s “Metallingus.” And that’s just to get you pumped up for the spectacle you’d be about to witness.

Shawn Michaels – my absolute favorite wrestler of all time, for what it’s worth – defined the Ladder Match with Scott Hall. Edge, along with Christian, The Hardys, and The Dudleys, redefined it. Throw in some tables and chairs, and it becomes his match, the TLC Match. Edge innovated in Hardcore matches with Mick Foley at WrestleMania 22 and ECW One Night Stand 2, showing that he’d have been a huge star in the original ECW if he’d opted to ply his trade there. Edge defined the Money In The Bank Ladder Match, and earned the nickname “The Ultimate Opportunist,” and that’s just his resume in stipulation matches. He’s also, for what it’s worth, undefeated in Last Man Standing matches.

Even without weapons, Edge was a deadly foe in the ring. He could beat you any way he wanted to. Edgecution. Edgeucator. Edge-o-matic. And of course, his weapon of choice toward the end of his career, the Spear. A Ten-Time World Champion. That’s not something that just any bum off the streets can pull off – that’s an indication that you are one of the best in the world at this profession. To retire as Champion is unheard of – there goes Adam Copeland innovating this business again.

My hat goes off to Edge for knowing that his body cannot continue to take the abuse that he puts it through night in and night out on the road for the WWE. Thank you, Adam “Edge” Copeland, for entertaining me week in and week out for the last fourteen years. We’ll miss you!

Discount Bin Review: Wrestlemania 25 (DVD)

April 2, 2011 9:52 pm 3 Comments

Our Celebration of Professional Wrestling continues!

I always enjoy watching wrestling with a good, chatty crowd. When I saw this Wrestlemania, the running commentary was pretty enjoyable. The show was a little less so; with the exception of a few matches the show felt a little “meh” – nothing downright terrible, just not terribly exciting. Won’t go into a lot of detail on each match, just some thoughts on each.

The following comes to us courtesy of Jonkind from Wonderpod-Online.com

Read the rest of this entry »

RAW 1.31.11

January 31, 2011 11:24 pm 5 Comments

Hello everyone, and welcome to coverage of the longest running weekly e-Nevermind. I wanted to sound all epic, but the voice in my head was Cole’s, and now I need brain bleach. Oh, and if you are on Twitter, @Niki_Sushi is a liar. Just so you all know. *wink!*

Anyway, this is an exciting RAW (I hope!) because it’s the RAW after the Royal Rumble! Who outlasted thirty-nine other men to be the winner of the first ever Forty Man Royal Rumble match?! And who walked out of the Royal Rumble WWE Champion? All those answers, and more, to come right now!

Tonight, we will have another Champion vs Champion match between World Heavyweight Champion Edge and WWE Champion, The Miz!

We start out RAW with Ricardo Rodriguez announcing Alberto del Rio. I believe he says something about a mariachi performance in celebration of Alberto del Rio’s victory. And that’s what happens. Ricardo leads them to the ring. Wait, is the mariachi band playing Alberto’s theme song? That’s great.

Rio takes the mic, silences the mariachi band, and says that his name is Alberto del Riooooooo!… but you already know that. You people never, never listen. He told us that it was his destiny to win the Royal Rumble, but we didn’t listen. That’s our problem. We never listen. (as the crowd yells What?) Tonight, we are going to celebrate Alberto del Rio. He’s going to headline Wrestlemania! Even if we don’t’ deserve it, because it’s a blue collar town, he hired the best mariachi in Mexico. This mariachi only plays for the Mexican president and Rio. This is not Justin Bieber’s music, this is real music. I concur. Anyway, he has something else really important to tell us: As the winner of the Royal Rumble, he can choose who he’s going to face at Wrestlemania: WWE Champion or the World Heavyweight Champion, and he has made his decision. And he’s going to tell us right now! The championship he will be going after at Wrestlemania will be the-

AWESOME!

WWE Champion The Miz comes out, Alex Riley in toe.

Miz says before Alberto makes his decision, he wants to say congratulations. Him winning the biggest Royal Rumble in the history, is impressive. Almost as impressive as The Miz’s winning against Randy three times after winning Money in the Bank. He just hopes that Rio chooses to face him. Miz says make no mistake about it, he’ll be the WWE Champion by the time Wrestlemania comes around. He can’t say the same about Edge, because he’s going to lose it at the Elimination Chamber. Last night, Miz saw Edge celebrating. He told everyone who would listen that he was going to embarrass Rio at Wrestlemania and mocking his accent, and his tie. Edge even said that Rio’s cars are all rental. Miz says that if he doesn’t believe Miz, he can ask Riley. Riley said that he gives Rio his word: Edge said he has no respect for a second-rate JBL meets Tito Santana.

Rio takes the mic and says that he knows Miz, and to him, this is a ploy to make him choose Edge instead of Miz. Is Miz lying to him? Miz says really? Really? Really? Listen, he took out Edge’s little buddy Christian. Edge is threatened, doesn’t like, and doesn’t respect Rio. He just thought he’d tell Rio the truth about Edge, talking behind his back.

You think you know me…

As Edge gets in, he plays one of the mariachi trumpets, and the guy laughs.

Edge says Alberto, Miz is right. He’s absolutely right. He doesn’t like or respect Rio. But, he’s wrong about one thing. He wouldn’t say those things behind his back, he’d come out and say them to his face. See, Edge will be champion at Wrestlemania, and if Rio chooses to face him, he will beat him. He will because he’s the Rrrrrated R Superstarrrr. But, you already knew that, didn’t you?

Rio says that the only think he knows is that it is his destiny to be the greatest of the great and at Wrestlemania he will be the new World Heavyweight Champion. Edge says congratulations, and to take this with you. He then hits Rio, and looks at Miz, who leaves the ring with the mariachi, who are not going to lose their instruments. Rio comes back and kicks Edge before grabbing a guitar, which he then breaks on Edge’s back, before locking in the cross-arm breaker. Edge appears to be tapping, but there’s no ref, no match, and Alberto finally lets go.

Ha. The mariachi were playing his theme!! I’m like… 95% sure.

Coming up, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov will take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships.

@Niki_Sushi OKay. Del Rio dissed the Biebtard. He’s not as obnoxious in my mind now. #BWF #RAW

@JonHexLives I kind of want to see The Miz vs, Alberto Del Rio in a faux hawk throwdown. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@seraphalexiel Alberto will be pissed if Edge loses the belt at the Elimination Chamber…..

@CMPunkSays Del Rio: “You never listen!” Crowd: “WHAT?!” #CantMakeThisShitUp #WWE

@StrikerSays LOLOLOL, “Alberto Pendejo” sign! I like that they are in RI, so obviously the arena staff didn’t know what it meant, and didn’t confiscate.

“Tonight, for the first time ever, we’re going to have a RAW Rumble match. Seven Superstars will participate. T he winner of the RAW Rumble match, will go on to face the WWE Champion at the Elimination Chamber PPV. The remaining six will be in the Elimination Chamber itself. The participates in the RAW Rumble match are Randy Orton, CM Punk, John Morrison, R-Truth, Sheamus, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and John Cena.”

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina vs Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships

Marella and McGuillicutty start out, and Santino gets McGuillicutty on the ground before locking in a headlock on McGuillicutty, who runs him into the corner. Santino lets go, but McGuillicutty hits him with a couple of punches and a kick before being forced off by the ref. He then runs to jump on Santino, but Santino move sand tags in Kozlov. Kozlov powers McGuillicutty right into the corner, hitting him with some hard shoulders, before McGuillicutty goes after his knee then kicks him in the head. McGuillicutty keeps him on the ropes before tagging Harris in. Harris keeps him in the corner, then Kozlov pushes him off before Kozlov gets him down and goes for a cover, but Harris kicks out. Kozlov powers Harris over to his own corner and tags in Santino. Santino does something, but Harris shoves him across the ring and then kicks him. Harris then spends his time getting Santino up, and Santino tries to Whip him, but Husky counters, and meets Santino’s offense with a shoulder. Harris shoves Santino in the corner, tags in McGuillicutty, and then throws McGuillicutty into Santino, followed by Harris. McGuillicutty goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Something happens, but the replay is too big-there we go. McGuillicutty hits a neckbreaker and goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out at two. Santino is thrown out by McGuillicutty, and Tamina goes over to check on him.

@TKeep123 YES! Jerry The King Lawler…one more time in the Raw Rumble! …but how did R-Truth get on that list? #RAW #WWE #BWF

@CMPunkSays By the way, you are now imagining Jerry Lawler in the Elimination Chamber. #WWE

@HitTheRopes R-Truth? What the phuck? It doesn’t need to be an equal opportunity chamber! #wwe

@KeepItFiveStar R-TRUTH?! R-TRUTH!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE HASN’T WON A MATCH IN LIKE A MONTH!

@Niki_Sushi ‘Ruthless’ is glitterfied on McGillicutty’s ass. I can no longer take him seriously. #BWF #RAW

We come back to McGuillicutty trying to pin Santino for the cover. McGuillicutty has Santino in a headlock across the ring from Kozlov, and Santino fights to get to Kozlov, but McGuillicutty is trying to keep him back. They both get to their feet, but McGuillicutty hits a hard forearm on Santino. McGuillicutty tries to hit Kozlov, but Kozlov hits back, and Santino gets a hit on McGuillicutty. Harris and Kozlov are tagged in and Kozlov dominates Harris, going for a cover until McGuillicutty breaks it up. McGuillicutty this a missile dropkick and Santino tags himself in, sending McGuillicutty over the top rope. Santino then hits the Cobra on Harris and pins him for the win.

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall.

After the match, Randy runs down the ramp out of nowhere and RKOs McGuillicutty and Harris for costing him the title last night. He looks up toward the ramp before walking around inside the ring and facing the ramp. Orton looks off to the side and takes a moment to glare at the crowd before looking at Harris’ unconscious body. He looks down at Harris and backs away, standing in the corner, watching Harris, setting up for the punt.

CM Punk, however, interrupts.

He tells Randy not to do that as he, Otunga, and Mason Ryan come out. Punk tells him again not to do it. Punk says that Orton doesn’t want to do this, nothing he wants to be a part of. It’s nothing he would do. Punk asks if he has to say please, and Randy look like he could care less if Punk says please. Punk says he’s not going to beg, but take some advice, for once in his life: Don’t do it. If Orton kicks Harris in the skull, there will be serious consequences and repercussions. Orton really doesn’t look like he cares, and Harris is teasing us about getting the fuck up. Randy stops, however, and looks back at Punk. He then moves out of that position, hangs his head, and looks back at Punk. He looks to the crowd, who cheers (sick bastards), and then back at Harris, and then the other side of the arena, then back at Punk. He smirks, laughs, drops it, and then drops back in the corner, punting Harris in the skull.

Punk, Otunga, and Ryan all take off after him, but Randy slithers on out, running through the crowd and up to the top, rather nicely silhouetted against the darkness there. There is a staring match between Punk and Orton now, as Orton’s music plays.

@TKeep123 Randy won’t cave to an implied threat from CM Punk! Don’t worry, Mulligans have HARD heads! #RAW #WWE #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Why can’t Randy Orton just talk it out with people? It’s always RKOs with him

@CMPunkSays NOT Have you ever herped a derp so hard that you jobbed to the Cobra? #WWE

@ForrestFuller Why not punt Micheal Cole instead of Husky Harris #WWE #RAW #BWF

Ted DiBiase is joined by Maryse, still, and has a mic. This’ll be good.

Ted says that it doesn’t thrill him to say it, but King’s career is over. And his, his is just getting started. King doesn’t need any more opportunities. It’s time for guys like him to step aside for the future. So, why doesn’t he do the right thing, for the future, and give him his spot for tonight’s RAW Rumble? King takes off his headset and grabs a mic, but Cole snatches it. Cole says he’ll handle it. Cole then says that Ted is being disrespectful. Has Ted ever met King? He’s a legend, a Hall of Famer. He’s heard of the Showstopper, right? King is the Scene Stealer. There’s no way that he’s going to let his selfish, narcissistic ego take himself out of the match to give it to DiBiase. It won’t happen. King takes the mic and says he’s gonna tell both of them something: he’ snot giving his spot up in the RAW Rumble to anybody. His Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction. He’s been in the WWE 18 years, and he’s never been to Wrestlemania. And, as far as he’s concerned, his Road to Wrestlemania starts tonight, and if it wasn’t for Cole, he may be WWE Champion right now. He knows he can beat the Miz, and he’s gonna be in the RAW Rumble, and he’s gonna win it. Ted then hits King and moves with Maryse. King then follows Teddy, but Ted moves Maryse in front of him, preventing King from hitting Ted. Maryse, on the other hand, is not amused. Ted can’t think of a good enough excuse, so Maryse slaps him. Then, King punches Ted. Poor DiBiase’s having a bad night… And Cole now lectures King, and King says he’s about to shove his fist so far down Cole’s throat they’ll be afraid to remove it. He’s beginning to not care if he gets fired…

Later on tonight, The Miz will take on Edge!

@KeepItFiveStar Maryse with the Princess Peach slap then Jerry Lawler with the Falcon Punch! Ted DiBiase just got Melee’d!

@TKeep123 Love me some Maryse! Looking even HOTTER, if that’s possible!! #RAW #WWE #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Even R-Truth’s photo looks like he doesn’t belong in the RAW Rumble. It’s like “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Lawler, I guess. And REALLY??”

@kickoutblog FALCON PAAAWWWWNNNNNCH!

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs Tyson Kidd

The Bellas are talking, but I don’t’ care. Bryan and Kidd are fighting, Gail ringside, and Kidd gets a good early advantage. Does anyone remember when he had that big guy? Me neither. Kidd goes for a quick cover, but Bryan kicks out two. Kidd puts Bryan in a headlock, but Bryan shoves him off and does a lot of really fancy things. Bryan delivers some hard hits to Kidd, and the camera keeps going to the FUCKING BELLAS, Kidd does some stuff, Bryan tries to lock in the LaBell lock, does, and Kidd taps out.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via pinfall.

Gail hugs Bryan and joins him in his celebration before the Bellas climb into the ring. One of them hits Bryan, Gail shoves her, and insert the same freaking cat fight we’ve seen for too long already. It takes two refs holding the Bellas, and Bryan holding Gail to break it up.

Up next, The Miz and Edge will go one on one!

@CMPunkSays IT’S LIKE I’M REALLY WATCHING MEAN GIRLS #WWE

@Niki_Sushi I think Gail just ripped out some extensions and killed a bird. #BWF #RAW #justoneleft

@kickoutblog I already love 2.21.11, WWE hasn’t done anything like this since Jericho’s return.

@redsandman99 How can anyone blame Daniel Bryan for choosing Gail over the Bellas. I’d punt those bitches Orton style for her

I saw people in the front row with four signs spelling out AWESOME. Loved it.

WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge

Miz and Edge lock up, and shove one another away. Then they lock up again, and Edge locks Miz in a headlock, but Miz fights out and gets an elbow to the face, followed by one by the back of the head. Edge Whips Miz, but Miz counters and Edge counters with a neckbreaker. Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Edge beats Miz into a corner and hits him a few times. The replay is starting to piss me off. Edge has an advantage over Miz, pulling him in a headlock between the ropes. Edge Whips Miz, who is pulled out of the ring by Riley. Edge grabs him, but Miz drops Edge’s shoulder onto the top rope. He pulls Edge out of the ring and sends him into the steel steps. Miz pulls Edge to his feet and throws him back in the ring, going for a cover. Edge kicks out at two. Miz plants his knee in Edge’s spine before twisting himself around Edge and putting his injured arm in a submission. Edge fights to his feet and punches Miz in the head, but Miz drops down, essentially giving Edge’s arm a stunner before going for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz then puts Edge’s shoulder through the ropes, and Riley punches Edge. Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out, so Miz returns to a submission on Edge’s shoulder. Edge fights to his feet, and punches Miz a few times, but Miz puts his knee in Edge’s stomach. Edge returns the favor by putting his heel in Miz’ jaw. Edge then starts to do something, but Miz counters, dropping Edge to the mat, and returning to the submission on Edge’s shoulder. Edge fights to the bottom rope.

Space! Miz goes to hit Edge, but Edge fights back and tries to steal a victory, but Miz fights out. Edge and Miz meet, and then Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz sends Edge’s arm right back to the mat, then puts his knee in Edge’s shoulder and stretches the arm out. Edge fights out of it, and Whips Miz, but Miz kicks Edge, and then the two kick one another in the face. The ref begins his count. Miz is up to his feet, as is Edge at eight. Miz runs for Edge, but Edge drops him on his face. Edge then drops Miz again, and Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out. Edge kicks Miz in the stomach and then Whips him, but Miz counters,. Edge goes for another cover, but Edge kicks out, and then Miz kicks Edge in the face, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out. Miz gets on the apron and climbs up on the top rope, standing up and dropping down, only to get a boot to the stomach. Edge then drops Miz on his face. Edge backs up into the opposite corner, setting up for the Spear. Miz gets up to his feet, and Edge tries for the Spear, but Miz sends him into the post.

John Cena says that Miz can do it and says there’s a party, and that they’re just cheering for him. Miz starts to talk to him, and Cena gets the arena doing a Miz is Awful chant, before Edge Spears Miz.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.

@CMPunkSays FALL IN A HOLE, CENA. A DEEP HOLE. A HOLE THAT REACHES THE EARTH’S CORE. #WWE

@bethsharae Stupid Cena…you got the chant wrong. It’s Miz is Awesome! #Raw

@kickoutblog Once again, the “good guys” cheat to win. Edge with an illegal move and Cena interfered! Should be a DQ win for Miz!

Stone Cold Steve Austin will return to WWE to host Tough Enough in April!

I’m feeling like this is a Smackdown invasion again…

Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that while Edge may have won tonight, but his chances of winning Friday are next to impossible. Friday, the World Heavyweight Championship will be defended in a way that it never has been before, so please join them. Whatever. Oh, hell, it’s our Surprise Champion!

WWE Diva’s Champion Eve and Natalya vs LayCool

Really, Natalya? I wouldn’t have tagged with her. Tell her to find someone else. Oh, wait, there is no one else… For the first time ever, I’m so sick of Eve and Natalya, I want LayCool to win.

Natalya and McCool start out and Natalya goes for an early cover, followed by another, but McCool pulls out. Natalya keeps an advantage over McCool until McCool gets away and tags in Layla. Natalya walks toward Layla, who drops to the mat and curls up. Natalya touches her and she squirms. Natalya then picks her up and she gets onto her feet and pushes Natalya. Layla then runs over and attaches herself to McCool between the ropes, and turns around to get a kick from Natalya. Natalya suplexes her, and goes for the cover, but Layla kicks out. Natalya Whips Lay, and then Eve clotheslines her. Eve finally actually does something, and hits a handspring moonsault before going for a cover and Layla kicks out. Layla kicks Eve, and Eve runs her across the ring and onto the top turnbuckle. Natalya distracts the ref, and McCool kicks Eve. Layla hits the Face Lift off the turnbuckle and pins Eve for the win.

LayCool win via pinfall.

@TKeep123 Michelle’s boot seems to have knocked some accent BACK into Layla’s mouth! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Goddamn you, RAW. I don’t want LayCool. I just want Lay. Cool can go hang out with Cole and Del Rio in the corner. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog “Your big foot” = LOL

OH MAH GOODNESS! IT’S THE GIANT JOBBER SQUAD!

The Great Khali and Mark Henry vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso

Oh, well. No matter who wins, this is kind of humiliating… Josh Matthews has joined Michael Cole as King has gone to get ready for his match.

“As I see the Usos stand across the ring from the Great Khali and the WSM, let’s face it: they don’t have a chance. So, to give the Usos a more competitive advantage, I’ve decided to alter the contest, and these two teams will compete in a dance off. Each team will have the opportunity to strut their stuff, and you, the WWE Universe will have the chance to decide who is the winner. Gentlemen, let’s boogie, woogie, woogie.”

I hate. The. GM.

You know what? I started to review this. I don’t know why. But now, I have a headache. If the WWE Universe loves me, they will know that Khali and Henry can’t dance, and will accept that the Usos won. I hate this. I HATE THI-

That works. The Usos attack Khali and Henry, and then are met by a Punjabi Plunge and the World’s Strongest Slam, and Khali goes for a cover. Poor thing.

@StrikerSays Sorry Usos, apparently the Bellas are the only ones with “twin magic.”

@HitTheRopes Amazing that I was just defending Raw last night to someone who can’t stand WWE. Then we get a dance off. #LeSigh

@KeepItFiveStar When The Usos smiled you could tell they died on the inside

@FrankWWEClown I just threw up in my mouth watching Michael Cole dance. #WWE

@TKeep123 Mark Henry rocking the Bollywood Dance??? Kill me now. #RAW #WWE #BWF

@JonHexLives The Usos are straight jobbers now. #WWE #RAW #BWF

The Shack/rain/leather person promo for 2.21.11 plays again.

YAY RAW HATES ME!

RAW Rumble Match: Winner faces The Miz for the WWE Championship at Elimination Chamber, and the other Six will be in the RAW Elimination Chamber match.

When thrown over the top rope, and both feet touch the floor (MORRISON), you lose. I. Hate these kinds of things.

@seraphalexiel Kidnapping a wrestler’s loved one is apparently WWE films’ recipe for success

@kickoutblog What is WWE’s obsession with dancing? Just put Kozlov on Dancing With The Stars and be done with it.

@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!

@HitTheRopes JoMo and the ‘E would have been SO pissed if one of them fans got their hand in the way during that spot last night

ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY

1) John Morrison – Sheamus

2) Sheamus – King and John Cena

3) John Cena – King

4) CM Punk – Randy Orton

5) R-Truth – John Cena

6) Jerry “The King” Lawler – WINNER

7) Randy Orton – R-Truth

I can’t cover this very well, but I’ll give you the interesting stuff. JoMo and Sheamus give us pretty good one-on-one wrestling action, same as their matches, really. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse Backbreaker on JoMo and then freezes everything as Cena comes out.

Cena comes in, obviously furious about being eliminated last night and takes it out on Sheamus. Cena goes to hit an Attitude Adjustment, and Morrison manages to land on his feet instead of getting hit by it.

Punk gets in and immediately cleans house, taking on anyone and everyone who gets in his way. Punk and Morrison are clinging to the ropes like monkeys or something, but stay in.

Truth comes in and immediately takes on his “friend” Cena. What a shitty friend. I’m just saying. Truth and Morrison both nearly eliminate the other, but hang on, and Truth can’t get his black ass back in the ring. He finally does, nearly costing Sheamus his chance to beat the shit out of him.

Jerry runs out and Punk waited for him, and then King punches every-damn-body. Three of the four corners have people getting ready to be dumped out.

Punk runs out of the ring, under the bottom rope, when Randy hits the ring. Randy’s looking for him. And guesses where he is before getting into the ring, looking under the ring. He wants Punk. Orton grabs Punk’s ankle, yanks him out from under the ring and proceeds to beat the shit out of him. Punk gets into the ring and then Randy follows, and finally enters the RAW Rumble.

Punk was the first man eliminated, by Orton, followed right after by Orton, who was eliminated by Truth. Truth nearly got venom spit in his face.

@KeepItFiveStar That’s why R-Truth doesn’t deserved to be in the damn match. He almost got eliminated by the ropes. He probably thinks Parkour is a dance

@StrikerSays R-Truth doesn’t even RUN to the ring, he fucking SKIPS. He makes me want to punch unicorns.

@Niki_Sushi Sheamus has his hand ALL the way up John’s ass. Cole 2.0? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Orton takes out Punk…and R-truth takes out Orton! Tooth is a dead man! :} #RAW #WWE #BWF

Good news is, no one else was eliminated during the commercial. Bad news is, I literally just saw King’s hands all over Truth’s ass. Ew.

King and Morrison are working together to try to get rid of Truth, but he won’t budge. Cena grabs Truth and Morrison on his shoulders and goes to eliminate them both, but only manages to eliminate Truth. Morrison gets Cena on the apron, and the two duke it out, both teetering on the edge. Sheamus runs over and tries to clothesline them both, but they move, and Sheamus holds on, and JoMo starts slapping his damn hands. Sheamus is responsible for Cena getting back in the ring.

Morrison pulls another shit-tacular Parkour move and he hooks his ankles in the bottom rope and keeps himself fin the match. Goes to eliminate Sheamus, but Sheamus catapults himself right onto Morrison.

Cena puts Sheamus in an STF, and Sheamus taps. Like a tard.

Morrison hits Starship Pain, and literally only hits Cena with one arm. What the fuck.

King throws Morrison out, but he keeps himself in by touching the floor with his hands only.

Morrison is out courtesy of a Brogue Kick from Sheamus. Thanks, Sheamus.

Sheamus throws King into Cena and eliminates Cena, and then Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, only for Cena and King to move the rope so that Sheamus eliminates himself.

Sorry folks, this is Kiharu (@Niki_Sushi) typing at you, because TheMizMagnet is spitting flames at this end. So this is me saying good night, and thanks for reading this review! Tune in next week for…well, more RAW.

@TheMizMagnet JSODGIJRPOWIGJPOIFJ PDOI APOI OSIDJFPOEWI POI A LVKJDPOI EW OAIJFDA OWIEWR *ragequits*

WWE RAW results 11/29/10

November 30, 2010 6:05 am 3 Comments

It is I, the King of the BoredWrestlingFan crew, and I have returned for a second straight week with a review of wWE RAW! I took over writing duties for tonight after the show ended, so I won’t be using tweets in tonight’s review (sorry, @TKeep123, @WWEsAngel_Nef, among others). AlyKat should be back next week. She would have been back this week, but she’s spent the last week popping open bottles of champagne due to The Miz’s WWE Championship victory and her wrists hurt too badly to type. Are you ready? Because tonight’s show is simply this: RAWWWWWESOME!

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WWE RAW results 11/22/10

November 23, 2010 4:05 am 8 Comments

Hey folks, the man the BWF staff call “Boss” is here to fill in for AlyKat tonight as she is in attendance at the Amway Arena in Orlando, FL for tonight’s edition of RAW. I’ve actually been to a WWE event in that very venue – the 2008 WWE Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. Tonight, however, I’m on my couch in Niagara Falls, NY watching USA HD and bringing you my thoughts on this post-Survivor Series edition of RAW. Will we see John Cena tonight? What kind of mood will Wade Barrett be in? Will Aly have a heart attack in the Amway Arena as The Miz cashes in Money In The Bank? Who knows! It’s uncooked, uncut, uncensored, it’s RAW!

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Power Poll 11/3/10

November 5, 2010 6:10 am Leave a Comment

Power Poll No. 22 11/3/10

1. Kane (1)

I was looking at an issue of WWE Magazine from a couple months back and saw an ad for Night of Champions with Kane holding the World Heavyweight Championship, and I’ve realized how far Kane has come in the last few months since he started this storyline with The Undertaker. He’s consistently cutting some of the best promos on WWE television, and his eulogy for his brother was strong enough to keep him at the top of the Power Poll. (My vote: 2)

2. Edge (6)

The Rated R Superstar still manages to thrive in a PG setting, defeating Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio in a triple threat match this past Friday on SmackDown to become the number one contender to the aforementioned Kane’s World Heavyweight Championship. (My vote: 1)

3. Randy Orton (4)

The Viper may well be screwed this Sunday at Survivor Series, but didn’t seem that way when he led himself and R-Truth to victory over Wade Barrett and David Otunga this past Monday with special guest referee John Cena. (My vote: 3)

4. Daniel Bryan (3)

Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the waaaaabit! Dolph Ziggler on Friday, Ted DiBiase on Monday, who’s next to tap out to the WWE United States Champion? (My vote: 7)

5. Wade Barrett (2)

With John Cena stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place, things are looking good for Barrett as Survivor Series draws nearer, despite a loss this past Monday in tag team action. (My vote: 6)

6. John Cena (5)

Despite being Wade Barrett’s errand boy, John Cena continues to impress the Power Poll voters with great promos and body language. (My vote: N/A)

7. The Miz (7)

Despite not making any effort to cash it in as of late, The Miz is not letting anybody forget that he’s still got that Money In The Bank briefcase. Isn’t that right, Big Show? (My vote: N/A)

8. Matt Morgan (NR)

Matt Morgan standing up for an injured Mr. Anderson has endeared him to the fans, Christopher Nowinski, and Power Poll voters alike. (My vote: 5)

9. Jeff Hardy (8)

The self proclaimed new AntiChrist of professional wrestling, Jeff Hardy, may not have seen much in ring action on last week’s iMPACT, but the video packages kept him, and what he did at Bound For Glory, fresh in our minds. (My vote: 4)

10. Alberto Del Rio (NR)

Interrupting Kane? Now that takes some juevos. Alberto Del Rio steps back up and jumps back in to the top 10 this week. (My vote: N/A)

Dropped out: Dolph Ziggler, Big Show

Also voted on by me: Sheamus (8), Santino (9), and Big Show (10)

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wonderful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, Smarks Anonymous, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com, Wrestling Nuggets and Wrestlespective. Follow the Power Poll voters on Twitter. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective@gmail.com.

Tag Archive: Money In The Bank

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