Hey folks, the man the BWF staff call “Boss” is here to fill in for AlyKat tonight as she is in attendance at the Amway Arena in Orlando, FL for tonight’s edition of RAW. I’ve actually been to a WWE event in that very venue – the 2008 WWE Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. Tonight, however, I’m on my couch in Niagara Falls, NY watching USA HD and bringing you my thoughts on this post-Survivor Series edition of RAW. Will we see John Cena tonight? What kind of mood will Wade Barrett be in? Will Aly have a heart attack in the Amway Arena as The Miz cashes in Money In The Bank? Who knows! It’s uncooked, uncut, uncensored, it’s RAW!
Oh man, it’s been a while since I’ve done this with the tweets and all. Props to Aly for her hard work every Monday night here on boredwrestlingfan.com. Last night, John Cena counted the pinfall that allowed Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship and for that, he’s been fired.
Wade Barrett, not wearing the WWE Championship, makes his way to the ring along with the rest of The Nexus, minus John Cena, of course. Barrett is not happy as the crowd tells him he sucks. Last night, John Cena looked him in the eye and… the crowd doesn’t let Barrett speak, as a “Cena” chant breaks out. Hard luck, says Barrett. He tries again. Last night, Cena looked him in the eye and told him he knew exactly what he was doing. It means that he was willing to sacrifice his entire career to do what he felt was the right thing. It also meant that Barrett went into last night’s match without a fighting chance, because Cena already decided that Orton would win, and that is not fair. In the entire history of the WWE, an official was never allowed to place his hands on a competitor. Cena did just that – he distracted Barrett and pushed him into a waiting RKO. Barrett says it was unjust, unfair, and unprofessional, which is why he’s here now. In the name of justice, he’d like another opportunity to take on Randy Orton, this time with a neutral referee, so he can prove that he can beat Randy Orton and become the new WWE Champion
And I quote…
“There’s no question that there is some validity to this supposition by Wade Barrett, and there’s no doubt in my mind that Randy Orton would like to prove his individual superiority. Therefore, the WWE Championship will be defended when Wade Barrett faces Randy Orton for the title, and it will happen… Tonight!”
Holy crap, a WWE Championship match tonight on RAW?!? Barrett thanks the GM for such a gracious decision. He’s deeply appreciative. In anticipation of such an announcement, he’s decided to allow John Cena to appear here tonight. Don’t get him wrong, he enjoyed firing Cena, but as a fellow competitor and a gentlemen, he felt he owed it to Cena to come here and say his final words to the WWE Universe. Believe him, he’ll enjoy listening to those final words, almost as much as he’ll enjoy becoming the new WWE Champion.
@kickoutblog Well, that didn’t take long, John Cena was fired for 8 minutes.
Next week, RAW is 3 hours again as the King of The Ring tournament happens on the USA Network!
Michael Cole has an announcement. He welcomes the newest member of the RAW broadcast team, CM PUNK! It’s not JR, but hey, it’s good enough for me.
The following match is a qualifying match for next week’s King of the Ring tournament.
Ha! I’m going to steal Aly’s images all night. Especially since nobody’s using our #BWF hashtag on twitter tonight.
Interestingly enough, R-Truth is singing “What’s Up” instead of the Get Crunk song. CM Punk is not impressed with Eve’s dancing.
Sheamus def. R-Truth to qualify for the King of the Ring tournament
Punk thinks Sheamus is going to be an excellent king. Cole points out that we don’t even know who else is in the tournament. Punk says that Sheamus has had a bad month and it’s time to make up for it. Lawler agrees. Truth sends Sheamus reeling to the outside and us to a…
@WWEsAngel_Nef No time to get crunk? #WWE #bwf
@newstouse if i did that split move that R-Truth does… my hemorrhoids would be the death of me. 🙁 #WWE
@Jamzified John Cena’s there… Wade has a title match tonight… I’m praying for a heelturn. & I don’t pray often. #wrestlingmakesmereligious
And we’re back. During the break, Sheamus sent Truth shoulder first into the steel ring post, and is currently working over the injured arm. King Lawler theorizes that the King of the Ring coronation will put the upcoming royal wedding to shame. Truth starts to battle back in this one but can’t put The Celtic Warrior away on a pin cover attempt. After a few more back and forth moments in this match, Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick. Rather than pin Truth, he waits and nails the high cross for the victory.
The announcers plug the new John Cena Experience DVD, with Punk pointing out that it’s the only way you can see John Cena after tonight.
@kellylynndobson @BrdWrstlngFn What color is Eve? Orange, burnt sienna? #BWF
@Niki_Sushi Is anyone surprised Truth lost? Anyone? Yeah, didn’t think so. #BWF#RAW
@cozimawesome Ebook : how to be a pro wrestler with only 3 moves… By John Cena… #bwf #wwe #Raw
It’s come to my attention that the Amway Center that the WWE are in tonight is NOT the Amway Arena that the WWE Hal of Fame ceremony in 2008… My bad.
LayCool are stopped by security trying to get into the building. They can’t get in because they’re not RAW Superstars. Natalya greets them at the security checkpoint. The security guard asks if she knows them. She says she’s never seen them before in her life, and the guard closes the door on them.
Elsewhere, Santino and Vladimir are lamenting on their loss last night. Santino could taste the championship – it was delicious. Santino says tomorrow is not guaranteed, and he’s so depressed. Suddenly, a ukulele starts playing – it’s Tamina serenading him. The two kiss, and she tells Santino to call her.
And in yet another backstage area, Randy Orton is gearing up for his WWE Championship defense, when Josh Matthews asks his thoughts. Orton says Cena called the match right down the middle, and Orton respects him. It doesn’t matter who the referee is, he guarantees that Barrett will not leave the arena with the WWE Championship.
Up next, it’s Ezekiel Jackson vs. The Miz in King of the Ring Qualifying action!
@WWEThatsNotPG SANTINO TASTING TAMINA – THAT’S NOT PG #RAW #BWF
@5CornersxSmootx #RAW OH MY GOD, LAYLA’S MOM, TAMINA IS ACTUALLY TINY TIM. HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS BEFORE? #BWF
WWE Slam of the Week: Ezekiel Jackson = Domination.
The following is a King of the Ring qualifying match…
Ezekiel Jackson makes his way to the ring, and holy crap is this dude ripped. Mr. Money In The Bank… does not come out. Instead, we get Alex Riley in his ring gear. He’s got some news. Ten minutes ago, The Miz suffered an anxiety attack for which he was then prescribed with a new CBD for anxiety. Therefore, Riley’s been authorized to take his place and qualify for him. Punk wonders if Riley’s under the influence. Great, now I have to find Riley’s mugshot from last week…
Ezekiel Jackson def. Alex Riley to qualify for the King of the Ring Tournament
A-Ry manages to hold his own in the early going. Actually, he looks kind of impressive. I’m starting to second guess already typing that Jackson wins this match, but as I type that sentence, Jackson starts to dissect Riley. A Uranage later, and Jackson is in the King of the Ring Tournament.
Still to come, the WWE Championship is on the line as Randy Orton defends against Wade Barrett.
John Cena is backstage talking to R-Truth and Eve. They’re joined by Gail Kim, Yoshi Tatsu, and Santino Marella.
@JSlokeRTO @CMPunk “under the influence” comment about Riley’s DUI LMAOOOOO #wwe #bwf
@TKeep123 I’m concerned that @TheMizMagnet had kidnapped The Miz and that the real reason he didn’t show up against Zeke! #RAW #WWE#BWF
Jerry Lawler is under the impression that Cena is here as part of a trap laid by Nexus. Hey, speak of John Cena…
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR STEPPED IN POO!
For a guy who doesn’t work here anymore, he sure gets a pretty decent entrance. If I got fired from my job, there’s no way my boss would play my theme song and play my video if I walked in. Also, how did Cena get in the building but LayCool didn’t? Huh? Huh?
Cena says if he’s leaving, this is the way he wants to do it. In case we’ve been locked in sports entertainment solitary confinement, Randy Orton is still the WWE Champion, which means Cena’s fired. A decision that was probable, but Cena didn’t think it would happen. Forget about it. He was living in his car cleaning toilets. He didn’t think any of this would happen. Over the years, we’ve gotten to know him. Here’s the deal, we only see what we see on TV. There’s a lot we don’t know. He needs to tell us this one thing – we have no idea how much he respects this company. Not just the company today, but every single person who’s allowed him to be here today. Guys like Austin, Triple H, HBK, Undertaker. When Cena got a chance in the WWE, Championships were one thing, but his goal was to be able to look at those guys and for them to say “kid, you’re alright.” Cena’s got a smile on his face, and we may think he got a bad deal out of this. He’s gotten to dance in the ring with hall of famers, gotten to meet millions of people, and live out a fantasy. He won’t let Nexus ruin what has been the greatest nine years of his life. One thing we may not know is that life moves fast in the WWE. WWE was a big part of Cena’s life. Then WWE became his life. It was by his choice. He wanted to give everything to every one of us, every time he stepped in these ropes. His family has been so patient with him. They let him be him, and they’re ok with it. Cena’s brother Matt just had a baby girl and he missed it. His mom’s birthday’s in a couple days. He’s going to leave here tonight, and he’ll be in West Newbury, and he’s going to see his new niece, and his mom will get the best birthday present she’ll have in 10 years, because he’ll be there to hug her and tell her he loves her, and all the money in the world can’t buy her that. He loves that the fans are always honest, and he wants to hear half of the arena say Let’s Go Cena, and the other half say… actually he wants it done right. Every woman and child should say “let’s go Cena” and the guys over 18 to say “Cena Sucks.” Punk chants along with the Cena Sucks chant. Holy crap is it coming across loud on TV. Love him or hate him, you don’t not care about him. I say that all the time. He thanks the fans, and asks them to remember that it’s their passion that keeps the wrestlers coming back. He has one last thing to say to Wade Barrett. He thinks he’s got some talent – he says for him to take some advice. Stop taking shortcuts. Stop trying to take the easy way out, because the fans will give him everything if he gives them everything in return. Cena says he’s got to be way over the time they were going to allow him, so in lieu of going through a list of thank yous, he thanks the WWE Universe. He leaves to no music.
The entire locker room is waiting to applaud Cena as he leaves the building, including Randy Orton, who shakes Cena’s hand. Barrett walks up behind Cena as he’s leaving and makes the “you can’t see me” gesture.
@5CornersxSmootx #RAW Love how that one kid was all sad, until he saw himself on the tron and smiled at the camera #BWF
@B_alpha_male Isn’t this how Vince McMahon got blown up in the limo? #WWE#RAW #BWF
Ted DiBiase is already in the ring, and Maryse is on the apron. His opponent in this King of the Ring qualifier is Daniel Bryan, who is caught up to on his way to the ring by Brie Bella. Punk says she’s a 4 at best. Brie stays in Bryan’s corner as the match starts.
Daniel Bryan def. Ted DiBiase to qualify for the King of the Ring Tournament
DiBiase attacks Bryan as soon as the bell rings and prevents The United States Champion from getting out of the box early on. It’s all DiBiase until Bryan reverses a pinfall attempt into the LaBelle Lock for the submission victory!
Nikki Bella rushes to the ring to celebrate with Bryan, who doesn’t seem to be too interested in either one of them.
Still to come, the WWE Championship is on the line as Randy Orton defends against Wade Barrett!
@yassihalima I love Daniel Bryan he is a cute little nerd. He’s like afraid of love. *Hug Daniel* 🙂 #ThankYouCena
@kickoutblog Daniel Bryan politely told the Bella Twins that he is the US Champion, not this week’s guest host.
Natalya is the new WWE Divas Champion, and is all smiles as she makes her way to the ring for non-title action. Punk puts over the ferocity of The Glamazon as Natalya’s opponent, Alicia Fox, makes her way to the ring.
Natalya def. Alicia Fox
Punk rates Alicia Fox a 9.8. He takes off the .2 for her outfit. Alicia takes the offense early on, but after ripping out a good chunk of Natalya’s hair, the Divas Champion takes over. Fox is terrified through the rest of the match, and it’s not too long before she finds herself locked in the Sharpshooter.
Still to come, it’s the WWE Championship on the line as Wade Barrett challenges Randy Orton!
Backstage, Melina and John Morrison are excited about something. He’s got a match coming up, and she pats him on the butt as he turns to go to the ring.
@JonHexLives Oh Natalya. You make me forgive Canada its many faults. #WWE#Raw #bWf
@TKeep123 Melina with a butt slap to John Morrison for luck in his KOTR qualifier! Didn’t Tara do that on #TNA? #RAW #WWE @Lunna1969#BWF
John Morrison makes his way to the ring. Punk mentions that he’d better not be slow motion tonight, as he’s facing Tyson Kidd in a King of the Ring Qualifying match. Kidd is still rocking pink and black, but he’s got some new generic rock music.
John Morrison def. Tyson Kidd to qualify for the King of the Ring tournament
Oh man, this should be a good one. Punk points out that the Divas are chasing guys tonight. He says that Melina’s a 2. Kidd is aggressive in this one, letting out a scream as he slapped on a rear chinlock. Morrison turns the tide with a reverse roundhouse to the back of Kidd’s head. Punk and Cole argue about whether or not that is considered Parkour. Kidd turns the tide with a kick to the head of his own, and gets a two off of a reverse neckbreaker. Morrison nails the Flying Chuck, which is finally called properly by CM Punk, followed by Starship Pain for the victory.
Up next, the WWE Title is on the line!
@Niki_Sushi Whoa. Wait. Is this his own theme song, or has Tyson Kidd always had it? O.o #BWF #RAW #ThankYouCena
@drewhibbard The wife says that John Morrison looks like he was attacked by a Bedazzler. #WWE
@RDLee Tyson Kidd just hit the “Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Credenza” on John Morrison so I must give him some mad props!#PerrySaturn
Sheamus, John Morrison, Ezekiel Jackson, and Daniel Bryan have qualified from the RAW brand, and this Friday on SmackDown, Kofi Kingston, The Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, Drew McIntyre, Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes, and MVP all have their shot to qualify for the King of the Ring tournament.
This contest, set for one fall, is for the WWE Championship!
Tradition be damned, WWE Champion Randy Orton is out first for this one. He gets halfway down the ramp before he’s assaulted by Nexus. Officials restrain the black and gold clad faction and Orton clutches at his right knee. Orton gets back up to his feet, only to have his leg kicked back out from under him by Husky Harris. Orton is hurt, and our WWE Championship match is in jeopardy…
@5CornersxSmootx #RAW The Nexus World Order is doing the people who legitly paid for the PPV last night a favor. #BWF
Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring as we find out that Michael Cole got a message on his Blackberry from the RAW GM stating that Nexus is banned from ringside during this match, but Punk points out that the damage is already done. Orton’s music plays, much to the surprise of Wade Barrett, who thought he’d win the title via forfeit. Orton doesn’t come out right away, prompting Barrett to once again ask the referee to call the match. Orton finally limps his way out to the ring. We get the big fight introductions from Justin Roberts, and we’re set for WWE Championship action!
Randy Orton def. Wade Barrett to retain the WWE Championship
The bell rings, and Barrett goes right after the injured leg. It’s all Barrett in the early going. He goes for several covers, which Cole kindly points out sends pain through the knee as Orton kicks out each time. Orton tries to battle back, he hits the back/neckbreaker, but that hurts Orton’s knee more. Barrett manages to nail Wasteland, but John Cena comes in through the crowd to pull the referee out. He nails the Attitude Adjustment on Barrett and bails through the crowd before Nexus can catch him. Back in the ring, the referee has no clue what just happened. Orton catches Barrett with an RKO, and picks up the pinfall victory!
I CAME TO PLAY!!!
You know, in the introductory paragraph to this review, I joked about The Miz possibly cashing in Money In The Bank, but I never thought it would actually happen. AlyKat is having to be revived with smelling salts right about now…
The Miz def. Randy Orton to become the NEW WWE CHAMPION!
Miz tries to go after the injured knee, but Orton manages to avoid it early on, but Miz finally kicks it out from under him. Miz wraps Orton’s injured knee around the ring post. Orton finally shoves Miz off and gets a second to regroup. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton manages to avoid it. He goes for the guillotine DDT, but Miz escapes and goes after the knee. Orton hits a powerslam and sets up for the RKO. He goes for it, but The Miz reverses it into the Skull Crushing Finale – The Miz wins!!!
They finally pulled the trigger! The Miz is the WWE Champion! And AlyKat, who’s twitter name is TheMizMagnet, was in attendance! The Era of Awesomeness has begun on Monday Night RAW!
My thoughts: I’d be remiss if I didn’t use this image. If you’re a wrestling fan and following a lot of other wrestling fans on Twitter, you’ll definitely be wondering why everybody is using this as their avatar tomorrow…
This is the first shot they cut to after The Miz won the WWE Championship. This little girl does not look too happy right about now. One girl who is happy? AlyKat. She was four rows back behind the announce table tonight, and her favorite wrestler won the WWE Championship for the very first time. Hopefully she’ll grace us with her presence in the next couple of days and share her experience with us. Until next time, this is ThinkSoJoE reminding you to use #BWF in your Monday Night RAW tweets to help us notice them for inclusion in our reviews!
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