Well it’s me again back with another edition of this very article for you reading enjoyment or something. I hope you enjoyed some of what I did last week since I may be doing more of it in the future. But it’s not about the past, it’s about the present, so lets get this show on the road: (more…)
The Rock has returned to the WWE. (more…)
Note from ThinkSoJoE: Please welcome Robby to BoredWrestlingFan.com. He’ll be chiming in periodically to give us his thoughts on the world of professional wrestling. He’s the administrator of Alexz Johnson’s website, alexz.net. Alexz has a new album coming out in the next couple of weeks, so I urge you all to check it out!
Hello BWF! My name is Robby. This is my first time writing for a wrestling site and even just doing something past watching it among friends. I know you guys don’t need another play-by-play report, but I’ve taken notes as the show went on and may think it best to use those as a foundation.
Opening
A Martin Luthor King video package for MLK day.
Vince enters. Recapping Bret’s appearance. I did it for you. Vince rambles about kicking Bret out 2 weeks ago was the right choice. Claims the fans made the decision and not him that Bret would never come back to the WWE. Undertaker interrupts. Taker tells Vince he was in Montreal. He says Vince screwed Bret. Twice. Calls his act a cowardly act. Vince leaves, Taker talks about his WM match with Shawn and that he wants to deliver a message personally, Shawn enters. Taker’s say “no” to Shawn’s rematch WM challenge. Says he’ll let Shawn fight Taker for the Title tonight on Raw. Shawn says “no”. Says he’ll enter the Royal Rumble and win it to face Taker at WM. Taker and Shawn talk really slow and make for a dragging first segment.
This segment made me think of when Rikishi hit Austin with the car then told the Rock. “I did it for you.” Vince, the perennial villain and getting more senile each day, still wants us to believe that what he’s doing is for our own good. He’s been doing it for years. This would not be a problem if the product were good, but it feels like he’s losing talent faster than he can create new stars. So Takers comes in. Talks real slow. Michaels comes in, talks just as slow, giving us our first dragging segment and a theme that would continue throughout the night. Taker says “no” to Shawn giving him a Wrestlemania rematch for the Title. The streak. We all know what that means. So Michael’s has to go into the Rumble now. Which seemed to be the entire point of this dragging segment. Taker’s words to Vince made it worth watching.
Commercial
Slam of the Week
Orton/Cena/Kingston Triple Threat clip from last week
Match 1 (1 Fall)
Sheamus vs Evan Bourne
NonTitle match with World Champion, should be short. Orton comes in from the stage to the ring. Sheamus sees Orton before he gets to the ring. Bourne taks advantage of the distraction. Near fall from a top rope high risk. Big boot from Sheamus. Outsider Edge/Celtic Cross finisher. Match over. Orton enters the ring determined to blow the spot of another finisher. The look of determination to do it clear in his eyes. Sheamus gets the belt and shows it to him. Sheamus leaves the ring.
This was a quick match. If the Champ ever has a non-Title match on TV that’s not booked or thoguht of by Eric Bischoff it’s going to be short. Come on! Vince has bills to pay! Got to get those commercials in as much as possible. Anyway, Sheamus ends this quick. Orton comes in with his determined constipated look. Sheamus shows he can find shiny things. We move on.
Backstage
Shawn and HHH. Don Johnson interrupts them talking. HHH says he’ll talk to Shawn about the thing he wanted to talk to him about later. HHH talks to Johnson. HHH says who cares if the co-host shows up, and to do it himself. Carlito dresses like Napoleon Dynamite.
If you guessed this was pointless, you were probably right. Carlito’s appearance was quite awesome though and shows what they uses their wrestling for since they devote, maybe, 15 minutes of wrestling to a wrestling show. You’ll see it across my notes as they go on.
Commercial
Royal Rumble promo. Cena. HHH. And Taker up front. Future matches for tonight review.
Foreshadowing. This was staring everyone in the face yet they wanted to make it a big deal tonight. On the Rumble poster, with wrestlers in a line, are their biggest Golden Boys and The Big Show. I didn’t have to know who was challenging for the Championship to know none of these people immediately visible on the poster were not. Logical conclusion? Rumble participants.
Jack Swagger comes out to talk about last week saying it was a fluke as well as say “American” lots of times. Issues another All American American American challenge to Santino Marella. Santino comes out dressed like Don Johnson. President of the IDJFC, Italian Don Johnson Fan Club. Marella sounds he found a replacement. Mark Henry comes out for the All American American American American challenge.
Match 2 (All American American Challenge)
Jack Swagger vs Mark Henry
Swagger’s hit to little. Henry lifts Swagger. A quick toss over and the match is done. There’s possibly 5 full minutes of wrestling matches right now 40 minutes into the broadcast.
At least Swagger has a gimmic now, or the start of one. He’s the American American American guy. Clearly the All American American challenge is the proper followup to the one before it, the Master Lock challenge. Over the top, match over. Perfect for a show that seems to be trying to end the broadcast as soon as possible. I like Swagger too, they need to use more and lt him actually wrestle.
Backstage
Black limo. Girls exit. Dynamite exits. Cracks a dumb joke about not knowing where he is. Turns out his name is John Heder.
Nope, it’s not Flair. It’s an underwhelming entrance by a barely known movie star. We can keep going.
Commercial
Did You Know part. Tells us how they book matches for Royal Rumble winners.
So much for Kayfabe.
John Heder and Don Johnson enter. Don rambles for a bit. Heder rambles on after an interruption. They announce the main event. DX versus. Heder continues to ramble, gets to USC. He says “awesome” a lot, then introduces The Miz. Miz enters the ring. Miz thanks John and Don and mentions celebs hosting Raw for a change. Says Heder entered him into the Rumble. Miz mentions HHH’s comment about hosting alone. Miz rambles some more while noone turns off his mic. Ramble. Ramble. After talking about MVP, he interrupts them. MVP apologizes to fans and Johnson. MVP announces he’s in the Rumble. Says he’s going to throw Miz out. Adds in he’ll throw out Heder as well. Big Show interrupts. Big Show lays out MVP. Heder says he and Show have the same agent. Heder in a roundabout way announces his mancrush with Show and Miz. Finally gets to the point for the main event being DX vs Miz and Big Show.
I’m not sure what the point of this was. I mean, later on it seemed to make sense, but for a couple of actors to miss the cue to get a move on it sure dragged. Obviously, by my notes, I didn’t keep a huge amount of attention here. People talked. Other people talked. It was Open Mic Night at the WWE.
Commercial
How to donate to Haiti segment.
Match 3 (Tag Team 1 Fall)
Cena/Kofi Kingston vs Legacy
Cena and some guy start. Dibiase tagged in. Near fall after Cena exhausts almost half of his moveset. Tag back out to Rhodes. He beats Cena a bit in the corner. Near fall. Ref tries to stop Dibiase from using a closed fist. Cena fights back. Missing running into the turnbuckle, countered by clothesline. Near Fall. Falling fist to Cena. Kofi tagged in enters with high risk. Starts taking out Legacy by himself. Does overelaborate high risks in quick sequence. Goes for Trouble In Paradise but stops. Continues to fight off Legacy. Legacy tags out bringing Rhodes in.
Commercial
Kofi and Dibiase in the ring. Di tagges out. Near Fall on Kingston. Kofi starts to fight back. Rhodes quickly puts an end to it. Body slam by Rhodes. Misses followup. Tag out to Di. Misses clothesline. Tag out by Legacy. Kofi brought back into Legacy’s corner. Near fall. Di tagged in. Double team arm bar thingy. Rest hold by Dibiase. Jawbreaker by Kofi to counter. Back suplex by Kofi to counter headlock. Desperate tag to Cena. Cena inserts 5 moves of doom. No need to explain what they are. Side Russian Leg Sweep counter by Rhodes. Cean countered going into the corner. F-U running counter. Di interrupts ref count. Kofi high flies. Kofi pins with flying body splash. Easily as much wrestling in this match as there has been on Raw’s entire broadcast to this point.
This was, by far, be the longest match of the night. Cena’s “5 moves of Doom”? Yeah, you know what those are. This match had some actual wrestling in it. Not surprisingly, none of that actual wrestling was performed by Cena. This match didn’t really have anything at stake, so I really didn’t care who won. Legacy also bores me to tears and I sometimes have to check to see who’s in the ring.
Backstage
Guest hosts Heder and Team Cheese Whiz. Hornswaggle appears. No one knows what he’s saying. HHH enters. HHH translates for Hornswaggle. Say Swaggle doesn’t like Heder and challenged him. HHH proposes a 6 man match with Heder and Hornswaggle added. Match is a go.
I don’t know why I called them Team Cheese Whiz, seemed to fit and helped me with short hand notes. I think it’s catchy. HHH can book matches? Oh, Steph… riiiight.
Commercial
WWE Rewind: Women’s division flashback.
Match 4 (Diva’s Tag)
Maryce/Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim/Eve Torres
Gail and Maryce start. Quick pin and break. Sholder block into corner by Gail. Top rope double drop kick. Near fall. Outside interference by Fox. Gail thrown to the outside. Tossed by in by Fox. Maryce does back breaker on Gail. Near Fall. Tag out to Fox. Double team on Gail. Gail fights back. Fox ends the offense. Near Fall. Scissor kick miss by Fox. Tag out to Eve. Eve countered running into corner. Hip toss. Clothesline. Flipping senton by Eve. Eve does a rolling arm bar off the top rope. Submission from arm bar by Eve. Winner Gail and Eve.
I normally don’t pay A LOT of attention to Women’s matches unless they’ve got something interesting going on. Gail made this standable and Eve’s Rolling Armbar was a cool finisher to the match. It started slow but got much better. For the first time in a long time I also don’t care who is the Champion here.
Commercial
Backstage
Johnson, Heder, and Kelly Kelly. Kelly leaves. Heder is freaking out about his match. Heder wants Johnson to take his place. Miz enters and reassure Heder. Johnson says Heder’s choice is a mistake. Miz and Show say Heder will be ok. They show Heder his ring attire. “The Flame” is on the back. They try to pitch it to him to make it work. Noone can extinguish the flame.
This is just too easy.
King and Cole fill time by talking about the backstage segment and Rumble theme song. Then go over each of the matches. They announce 3 matches for Raw.
More non-wrestling content added to the biggest wrestling show in the land. Seriously guys, Too much backstage stuff and added video packages for future Raw events.
Backstage
HHH and Vince. Vince is going on about Taker calling him a coward. HHH stops him. HHH says MacMahon’s have to get the last word in. HHH tells Vince his no win situation. Vinces leaves. Shawn enteres. Swaggle enters again stopping HHH from saying what he wanted to at the beginning of Raw. HHH says they’ll talk later. Swaggle rides HHH’s back to match.
Orton walking backstage for his match next.
Speaking of, let’s go backstage. HHH has a point though, making this was of the more important backstage segments in the whole Bret Hart angle. HHH again tries to tell Shawn what we’ve seen on the Rumble poster earlier in the night.
Commercial
Hall of Fame ceremony facts. Sold out in 35 minutes.
Match 5 (1 Fall )
Orton vs Chris Masters w/ Eve Torres
Bell rings. Sheamus comes out at the ramp. Lock-up. Headlock by Orton. Masters counters. Orton throws Euros. Master Lock countered. Mastered countered at corner, powerslam counter on Orton. Orton does his back breaker. Preps for Blown Spot. Masters get to ropes. Master Lock applied. Orton reaches for the rope to break the hold. Orton plays possum, hits Blown Spot on Masters. Match time, ETA 2 minutes. Sheamus kicked Orton. Orton laid out. Stand over him victorious. Sheamus leaves ring.
Orton got out of that lock way too easily. He did a nice fake into his RKO though(noted as “Blown Spot”). This match could have ran longer and been more interesting, but we can’t waste broadcast time on something as trivial as wrestling!
Commercial
Match 6 (6 Man Tag)
DX and Hornswaggle vs Team Cheese Whiz and Heder (Miz and Big Show)
Heder enters from “The Great Ball of Fire” as The Flame. Johnson comes out with DX. All parties enter the ring.
Commercial
Back from commercial with the match already happening. Miz and Shawn in the ring. Quick pin by Miz. Kick out. Mounting punches. Miz tags out to Show. Show headbutts Shawn. Picks up Shawn from the ground for a sidewalk slam. Tags out to Miz. Miz sets up Shwn in the corner. Running kick connects. Shawn reverses and goes offense. Michaels chops. Both wrestlers down trying to tag. Swaggle tags himself in. Dropkicks Miz. DX chops. Clothesline on waggle. Heder tagged in. Flamer takes out ring rope. Kicks Swaggle. Misses a turnbuckle attack by Flamer. HHH tagged in against Flamer. Johnson makes Flamer go back in. HHH punches Flamers. HBK superkicks Show, Miz. Swaggle to the top rope. Splash. Swaggle pins Flamer for the win.
HHH talks to Shawn about HBK. HHH says it won’t work out for HBK. Cena enters. Goes to ring already with a mic. Cena says he has an announcement. Cena announces he’s in the Rumble after being shown many times tonight. Says he won last time ignores being injured and coming back the last time. Says he’ll win the Rumble again. HHH starts to talk but Show reenters the ring. Show says he has an announcement that he’s in the Rumble too. Show says he’ll win. Show attacks DX, Cena jumps in. Cena does one of his three moves. DX throws out Cena. HHH throws out HBK. HHH announces he’s in the rumble, something we all knew from before with the Rumble promo shot.
End show.
Now running short on time WWE brings us back with the match in progress. DX shows offense. Cheese Whiz shows offense. It’s a good main event with lots of action going on. Good thing we have our Glass Ceiling Talent out there carrying the show… Then we get to the announcements which everyone has figured out by now. Everyone’s in the Rumble, big surprise. Quite an underwhelming ending to a Raw that was going so well. Wait. No it wasn’t. Well, Vince, you’re finally not broadcasting anymore. Two painful hours. Maybe I should do TNA next time.
Robby is a huge wrestling fan following it since the early 1990s. His favorite musician is Alexz Johnson, likes pizza, and hopes this won’t be his last article on BWF.
In a recent interview, TNA President Dixie Carter stated that the biggest challenge facing the business was “making new superstars.” The interview in its entirety can be read here:
In a recent interview, TNA President Dixie Carter stated that the biggest challenge facing the business was “making new superstars.” The interview in its entirety can be read here:
http://www.tnawrestling.com/content/view/1575/84/
The time for mysterious notes are over.
Have you ever wondered that your wrestling week, just doesnt seem complete? I mean, there’s RAW on Mondays, ECW Tuesdays, iMPACT Thursdays, Smackdown! Fridays, the new ROH show on Saturdays and a Pay-Per View on Sunday. Why is there nothing wrestling-related happening on Wednesdays? Well, here at BWF, things have changed. Your Wednesday night fix has arrived!
BWF’s newest columnist is here to save those from complete and utter boredom, and to give you about ten minutes of 100% dribble, as I, ramble on, about the comings and goings, the world, not just in the wrestling business, but outside it as well.
As you can tell, I’m not the best with intros, so let’s get right down to business.
TNA Lockdown
This PPV will have Sting and Mick Foley main eventing, with the TNA Championship on the line. Now, didnt Jeff Jarrett, say several weeks ago, that he wanted to push young, up and coming talent, and create new stars for TNA? Then why are two guys, who made names for themselves somewhere else, wrestling for the world title, instead of these “up and coming” stars you say you have? It’s about time, that you stop relying on known stars that will get you your 1.1 rating, and start taking chances on guys that havent received their shot.
Danny Bonaduce vs Eric Young? Are you f*cking serious? Even though Eric Young sucks, he must’ve pissed Kurt Angle off real bad to get drawn this rubbish. I mean, come on, he’s wrestling a guy, who was a child star in the Partridge Family, and now, had a reality show about him, in which the only thing it was good for, was watching Joel McHale on E!’s ‘The Soup’, take the piss out of it each week. Bonaduce is washed up, why are TNA even bringing this guy in? Do they think that Danny Bonaduce = buyrates? I think not.
Team 3D vs Beer Money Inc. The PPV is in Philly. ECW originated in Philly. Team 3D, just happened to be a big part of ECW back in the day, which means, that chances are, Team 3D will walk away with all the tag gold, except the Tag belts around the waists of MMG. Now, if I was booking this match, I would have Beer Money win. Here’s why. You want to push talent up the ranks? Who better than the best Tag Team in wrestling right now? Robert Roode and James Storm are the only reason I watch TNA. What a better way to push these guys up, than to have them beat Team 3D, in Team 3D’s own backyard? It wont happen, but it should happen.
WWE Wrestlemania XXV
Edge, Cena, Big Show. Apparently, all three of these guys, want a piece of the ugliest thing going around. Now I’ve dated some ugly broads in my time, but Vickie Guerrero, you are one ugly sumbitch. From how I see it, no matter which way you look at it, there isnt a winner in this match. Is the World Heavyweight Championship, really worth Vickie Guerrero in your bed?
Triple H vs Randy Orton. Is there anything Triple H cant do before he gets jail time? Is there anything else that can be done to build up this match? The answer to both questions is no, and that’s sad really, because there is still two weeks of build up left.
Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. The Streak vs Mr. Wrestlemania. Undertaker is 16-0 at Wrestlemania. Thats impressive to say the least. The New England Patriots were also 16-0. They won two more games before falling to the New York Giants. The Undertaker has beaten 17 different wrestlers going into Wrestlemania 25. Comparing the Patriots to the Undertaker, it seems that Undertaker will win at the Wrestlemania as well. But this time, the Undertaker doesnt have to face Nathan Jones and A-Train, or Giant Gonzalez, or Mark Henry. He faces Shawn Michaels. The same Shawn Michaels who lasted over an hour with Bret Hart at Wrestlemania XII, to win his first WWF Championship. The same Shawn Michaels who competed in the first ever Ladder match at Wrestlemania. The same Shawn Michaels, that no matter who his opponent is, always seems to have the best match, on a Wrestlemania card. Which leaves one question. Will Shawn Michaels be the New York Giants of the wrestling world? If the Undertaker cruicifies Marty Jannetty in the next two weeks, the answer is yes. Otherwise, I think Taker may stay undefeated.
Legends of Wrestlemania
This game is the latest installment of wrestling games by THQ, to celebrate 25 years of Wrestlemania. Does it live up to the hype? Maybe. I was in a games shop today, browsing around because I have some money to burn, and was listening to the two guys in this games store talk about LoW. Neither of them have played the game, but one didnt like what he heard. He was complaining about the game being ‘too arcadey’ for his liking. I tend to agree in this aspect, otherwise, I see little complaint. Sure, I’d like to see more Legends represented in the game than 42, but the addition of being able to import the wrestlers from SmackDown! vs RAW 2009 onto the game, makes up for that. Sure, pinfalls are a pain to kick out of, but if you are good enough at the game, you shouldnt be getting yourself in that position. This game doesnt have it all, but it gives those who love nostalgia the chance to have a blast from the past, and pit their favourite wrestlers of yesteryear against each other, or have dream matchups against the current day superstars. This game gets a 4 out of 5. Like I said, it could be improved in some places, but it’s easy to pick up controls, and the variety of wrestlers on the game, means a must for all wrestling fans.
Albert Park roars in the twilight
The Formula One season starts its 2009 in Melbourne, Australia at the Albert park street circuit this weekend, and for the first time in its history, it will be a twilight race, to ensure that European viewers can watch the race live, at a more convienent time for them. With new rules and guidelines, new drivers and teams, plus a later starting time, could make this version of the race, the most exciting race. Australian hopes lie with Mark Webber, who drives for Red Bull Racing. However, during the Mark Webber Challenge, held each year in Tasmania, Webber was struck by a four-wheel drive whilst on a mountain bike, and broke his leg. It hasnt affected his testing for Red Bull racing this year, but Webber says that is comfortable behind the wheel of his race car, and that the most trouble he has at the moment, is walking. For those, who may watch this race, look out for Ferrari’s pair of Kimi Raikkonen from Finland, and Felipe Massa from Brazil, Briton Lewis Hamilton, who drives a McLaren Mercedes and Renault driver, Fernando Alonso of Spain, to be the front runners.
Thats it for the first installment of Wednesday Night Delight. Your weekly fix is now complete.