Smackdown 09/20/13
1 CommentLies, I tell you, man (or woman). Lies…
Hopping time you say…
Lies, I tell you, man (or woman). Lies…
Hopping time you say…
So just a basic recap today, rough morning.
Let’s start with…
MATCH RESULTS
ORTON/SHEAMUS DEF. BIG SHOW (HANDICAP MATCH) – A pointless rematch from Friday. Brogue Kick + RKO = Three count.
Rytman Remark: You know, neither Orton or Sheamus are THAT much smaller than the big show. The two of them beating him, is like either of them losing to two normal sized guys.
KOFI KINGSTON DEF. ANTONIO CESARO (NEW U.S. CHAMPION) – Match wastes no time in going into a spot-fest. Kingston rolls out of a sun-set flip, rolls Cesaro backwards into a standing position and hits “Trouble In Paradise” for the three-count and the title.
Rytman Remark: Remember when WWE first ventured out into video games? And how they followed the normal 2-D, side-scrolling fighter format? (I’m thinking Street Fighter, Mortal Combat.) This match was like that, entertaining, but no real story.
WWE TAG CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS – The PTP’s are almost completely jobbed out here. Choke-slam/flying head-butt combo wins this for the champs.
Rytman Remark: The commentator spent this match making jokes about goats in reference to Bryan’s beard, because there was nothing else really to talk about.
R-TRUTH DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT (NON-TITLE) R-Truth wins it by grabbing Barrett by the head and dropping him face-first to the mat. (The Little Jimmy?) After the match, Truth looks just as surprised as the rest of us.
Rytman Remark: There MIGHT be a point to this loss. WWE has a Battle Royal set up for Main Event this Wednesday, to name a #1 contender to Barrett’s belt. If R-Truth wins, it’ll cement the seed planted here.
RHODES SCHOLLARS (Sandow/Cody) DEF. SANTINO MORELLA/GREAT KAHLI (w/Natalya & Hornswoggle)– Santino gets the Cobra on Sandow and chases off Cody. Horny-dawg (yes, I am going to call him that if I want to,) tries to “cobra” Cody. Cody gets rough with him. Khalil comes to the rescue, and Santino gets pinned because he’s not watching Sandow. School-boy, for the three.
Rytman Remark: ( face-palm..)
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JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter) DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E.) – A hard fought match with Ziggler picking up some fan support, but Swagger getting the three-count out of nowhere by dropping Ziggler throat-first into the top rope.
NIKKI BELLA (W/BRE) DEF. WWE DIVA’S CHAMPION KAITLYN – Nikki’s game-plan is to keep taking Kaitlyn’s legs out from under her. Kaitlyn hits the stomach-breaker, but Bree switches w/sis to steal a three count.
Rytman Remark: In order…
Okay, now we look at…
STORYLINES/ANGLES
1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: LET’S JUST GET IT OVER WITH – 3MB (Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal,) came out first, calling out the Shield, demanding an apology for the beating on Smackdown. Instead, they got another beating, from BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK LESNARRRRRRRR! It ends w/Slater takes two F-5’s to the barricade.
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Paul Heyman gets control of Lesnar, gets him in the ring, and gets the mike. He gives Triple H credit for knocking out Lesnar, calling him a “Warrior, worthy of admiration.” Heyman says the score is “one and one,” and it’s “time to get extreme.” He challenges Trips to meet Lesnar in a steel cage match at Extreme Rules and has “two words,” for Trips…
“Challenge, Issued.” – Paul Heyman
2.) ZIGGLER/DEL RIO: WHY WASTE TIME BUILDING THE CHAMP? – Dolph Ziggler comes out with the “Dolph-tourage,” (Copyright: Robert Rytman,) to brag about his title win. Alberto Del Rio comes out with a still hurt Roberto Rodriguez and his left leg taped up. He gets in the ring and demands his rematch now! Before the match begins, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter come out, claiming Swagger deserves the credit for Dolph’s win and deserves the shot more than Del Rio. Swagger gets on the apron and ADR gets in a shot to Swagger’s face. Big E. gets between Del Rio and Ziggler, but Swagger grabs ADR’s leg and works it over in the corner, wrapping it around the ring post and pounding away on it.
Later in the show, we’re in Vicki Guerro’s office. She and her assistant, Brad Maddox are discussing things, when Teddy Long comes in. Apparently he’s taken it on himself to book Ziggler vs. Swagger and he’s given Swagger some “extra incentive,” to compete. Vicki likes the idea. Maddox tells Teddy to go tell someone. Teddy says it’s not his job. Vicki tells Brad to do it.
After Swagger’s win, (see above,) Del Rio attacks Swagger and goes after the arm. Officials break it up and Del Rio stands tall.
Rytman Remark: Okay, I’m thinking this angle is the one getting rushed. Having Del Rio demand a rematch while he’s still hurt makes him look more like a fool then a fighter. Why not do a Ziggler/Swagger program and save Del Rio for next month?
3.) FAHHHN-DAHHHN-GOING-GOING-GONE! – FANDANGO comes out to be interviewed by Lawler. When Fandango asks Lawler about moving his hips, Lawler decides to move his hips back to the announcers table. Fandango tries to get the crowd “Fandangoing,” with mixed results. A few minutes of this and Fandango tells the crowd to go “Fandango” themselves.
Rytman Remark: PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS THE END OF “FANDANGOING!”
4.) SHEAMUS/HENRY: IRISH CREAMED! (NOT THAT WAY YOU SICKOS!) – Matt Striker is backstage interviewing Sheamus when Henry bull-rushes him down for the second time since last Friday.
Later in the show, we get an announcement for Smack-Down this Friday. Team White-snake (Sheamus/Orton) vs. Big Show and Mark Henry.
Rytman Remark: And we couldn’t do this match tonight because?…
5.) C.M. PUNK: PUNK OUT? – C.M. Punk came out with Heyman. Punk talks about how he could never enjoy what he has at the time, because he’s always looking “around the corner” for the next hurdle, how after holding the title for more than 400 days, he went right after the Undertaker’s streak. In the middle of the promo, the crowd starts a dueling chant for him and the Taker. Punk goes flat. His eyes, his posture, it becomes that of a man crushed. Punk hugs Paul, gives him the mike, and limps off, bypassing the stage and going right for the exit.
Rytman Remark: I am aware that Punk is taking the time off to heal up. However, I’m giving him credit for his performance. He came off like he really did “lose his smile,” and if you wanted to start retirement rumors (or an angle,) you could easily use this promo. I’m predicting a HUGE comeback for Punk – maybe even a face turn – when WWE realizes how much they miss him.
6.) BOOKER T/TEDDY LONG: CLASH OF THE TITANS (KINDA) – Backstage, Booker T is NOT happy with Teddy Long going over his head. He makes the match at Extreme Rules a three-way for the title and tells Teddy to “handle his business.”
Rytman Remark: I’m glad Teddy’s getting to assert himself, as opposed to being a constantly put-upon errand boy, but do we need ANOTHER POWER STRUGGLE ANGLE!? GOOD GRIEF!
Side Note: I heard Michael Cole on one of the shows, talking about Booker T letting the HOF honor go to his head, and how that may be contributing to his problems with Teddy. Guys, Booker is NOT the one coming off as a heel in this.
7.) CENA/RYBACK: CONTINUITY! (BOOM) PART 2– All night we’re teased with Ryback speaking out tonight about his actions. Striker has Cena backstage, where he comes out to almost NO reaction. Cena says he’ll be in the ring with a yellow shirt and his WWE title and he will confront Ryback tonight.
Ryback has his say in a pre-taped promo. Ryback starts by comparing his spot with Cena’s after Mania. Cena was on top, Ryback was on the bottom. Only one place each for them to go. Ryback goes over his past few months in WWE. He credits Cena as a friend and mentor, even mentioning last October when Cena nominated him for a shot at the WWE title. Ryback then goes over his feud with the Shield and Mark Henry, pointing out how Cena never came to help him out when he was jumped by the Shield, but he almost always had Cena’s back when he was jumped.
“I am not an afterthought. I am not a sidekick. … If you were Superman, say hello to Kryptonite!” – Ryback
He says being Cena’s “friend” meant staying in his shadow, and he’s not staying there anymore.
Our “main event” for the evening is Cena calling out Ryback.
“This week, I say you make a move, and see if you have what it takes to EARN a championship!” – John Cena
Ryback backs down and walks away.
SIERRA,HOTEL/INDIA/ECHO/LIMA/DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD!
The Shield come down to the ring and surround Cena. They hold back, waiting to see what Ryback will do.
Ryback walks off, and RAW ends with a Shield beat-down on Cena.
Side Note: We caught a second of the Shield in the “Gorilla” position by accident, which kinda gave it away.
So, you know someone lost a job.
Rytman Remark: Best Ryback Promo Ever. The guy knocked it out of the park, in regards to setting himself up as bitter/jealous. I commend whoever it was, that figured out how to string Ryback’s past booking together into a cohesive narrative. If you entertain the notion that this was the game plan all along, it explains why WWE booked him as a choke-artist. It gives him motive to turn bitter and blame Cena.
Here’s the problem…
If you want to call out Cena for not doing a run-in, you’re going to have to call out the ENTIRE WWE for not running in and helping out their “friends.” In the past year, building to Mania, the only person I’ve seen run-in to save someone from a beating was R-Truth helping out Kofi Kingston when he came back. I’m aware that Orton/Sheamus/and Big Show did run-ins w/each other during their feud w/the Shield, but that was under the premise of a common enemy, not “friendship.”
Rytman’s Review: Okay, not an earth-shattering RAW by any means, but an effective place-holder-episode. “Auto-pilot” isn’t always a bad idea, if it keeps things moving. This RAW did it’s job, setting up the next PPV. And speaking for myself, I appreciate keeping the drama brief.
As the world turns it’s attention to Big Bird, and MLB playoffs, or the accurate celebration of Thanksgiving, the WWE is a busy beaver. RAW went head to head with a huge NFL game. The debuting Main Event program in the US market would contend with Presidential Debates and Triple Crown feats. What a great idea! But, Smackdown continues to dwell in it’s miserable timeslot on Friday although now up against two wildcard MLB playoff games, and that means it’s time to hop to it, shall we?
MATCH RESULTS
KOFI INGSTON & R-TRUTH W/SIN CARA def. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS W/CODY RHODES – Before the match, we get a recap of Truth celebrating his teams win at Summerslam by dumping Gatorade on little Jimmy, and a shot of the unflattering cartoon Cody Rhodes had made up of Sin Cara. Kofi and Truth started of the match with fast paced double-teaming on each of the PTP while Sin Cara ran off Rhodes. The heels took control on R-Truth, until he makes the hot tag to Sin Cara. Kofi and Truth take out the PTP’s while Cody and Cara wind up the match. Cody’s obsession with Cara’s mask gets him pinned for the three-count.
RYBACK def. MIKE SPINNER & ANDY TAVARES – Another Ryback squash with Jinder Mahal running in to get in a sneak attack. Ryback fights him off with his jawbreaker variation and proceeds to kill the jobbers while Mahal runs off.
RANDY ORTON def. ALBERTO DEL RIO – Del Rio leaves the car in the back and storms out angry. He shows us a picture from his match with Sheamus at Summerslam, proving his foot was clearly on the ropes and demands a rematch with Sheamus right now. AJ skips out and greets Alberto with “hello” in Spanish. (I don’t know how to spell it.) She can’t give him a shot at Sheamus because that’s Booker T’s call. She does give him a match and tells him to “say hello” to his “little friend.” Randy Orton comes out. After the break, Sheamus comes out to join commentary. The match is back and forth with a lot of striking, stomping, and highspots. Del Rio goes for the win but Sheamus gets the ref to see Orton’s foot on the rope. Del Rio gets hot with Sheamus and turns around into an RKO, for a three-count.
DAMIEN SANDOW def. BRODUS CLAY – We start off with a brief recap of the feud and how Sandow hurt Clay’s leg. As Sandow walks to the ring, we get picture-in-picture comments from Sandow vowing to get rid of Clay once and for all. We’re welcome. The match is basically Brodus tossing and squashing Sandow, and Sandow going after the bad knee. Sandow dodges a charge and rolls up Clay for a three-count with a hand full of tights, despite Clay NOT having both shoulders down, but I guess I’m the only one who cares. After the match, Clay got his revenge with a t-bone suplex and the big splash on Sandow. And we get a celebratory hug from the Funkadactyls and a dance party with kids.
BIG SHOW def DAVID OTUNGA – Earlier tonight, Otunga offered his legal services to AJ, but made the mistake of using the “c” word. (NOT THAT C-WORD! THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW! “CRAZY!” HE SAID “CRAZY!”) AJ ordered him to wrestle an opponent of her choice. This was a straight-up squash, with an angry Show just overwhelming Otunga with a brutal beat-down.
KANE & ZACK RYDER vs. BRYAN AND THE MIZ: NO CONTEST – AJ ordered this match as a way of making Kane and Bryan deal with “anger issues.” The match ends with the heels bailing (in Bryan’s case, through the crowd,) and Kane brutalizing the timekeeper and Tomb-stoning Ryder.
KAITLIN WINS DIVA ROYAL – Sloppy filler, dragged out to long. Kaitlin wins by eliminating Eve, and becomes new #1 contender to the Divas title, held by Layla, who was at ringside.
DOLPH ZIGGLER def. CHRIS JERICHO: CONTRACT VS. CONTRACT – Earlier in the night, AJ skipped in on an argument between Jericho and Ziggler and made this match with the stipulation that if Jericho wins, he gets Ziggler’s MiTB briefcase, and if Ziggler wins, Jericho’s contract is cancelled. The match is a face paced exchange of back and forth high-spots, including a scary flip off the top rope that I’m not sure went according to plan. Jericho hooked Ziggler under the arms with his legs, and flipped backwards, tossing Ziggler up and over. Ziggler landed on his head and it looked scary. Match ends with Jericho’s Lionsault hitting Ziggler’s knees and a Zig-Zag for the three-count. After the match, Jericho beats Ziggler down with his own briefcase.
HIGHLIGHTS
•Paul Heyman opening the show with Lesnar – Heyman coins the term “Brocktagon,” and refers to Brock as the new “King of Kings,” and “Lord and Master of the WWE.” Lesnar calls out the ref from Sunday night’s Summerslam match to tell him two words – “good job.”
•AJ coming out to book Orton/Del Rio – She came off slightly racist with the Spanish hello and Scarface quote.
•Summerslam Recap – Antonio Cesaro winning the US title and “touting” from the ring, followed by Summerslam week highlights in L.A. (Santino working in a restaurant, Be a Star anniversary, Divas on the red carpet.)
•Shawn Michaels Live Satellite interview – Shawn sells the schmaltz big with his confession that he should’ve told hunter he couldn’t beat Brock. He tells Hunter “I love you,” “We all love you,” “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
•C.M. Punk offering Cena a title shot IF he admits Punk is the “best in the world.” Cena refuses and dares Punk to pick someone else.
•Punk demanding an apology from Lawler – Lawler apologizes, but when he refuses to call Punk “the best in the world,” he gets a kick to the back of the head.
TWITTER AND TOUTS
•Punk on Tout, announcing he would pick his own #1 contender that night.
•The entire WWE universe – Commenting on Hunter/Lesnar; via Twitter
•Summerslam recap interviews: Punk demands respect, Cena is disappointed, Big Show is angry.
RYTMANS’ RANT
No one thing to rant about this week. I have to admit that for the most part, his show was pretty solid and kept moving nicely. Of course, they STILL went overtime but…
I do want to comment on how badly Alberto Del Rio and Sheamus are being booked. Sheamus is losing credibility as a champion, as he can’t seem to finish off this feud convincingly. And the whole “taking the title shot away from Del Rio just to give it back” routine ran out of gas a week ago. IF Del Rio were a face, winning back his title shots from a heel GM, this might work, however it’s a heel, who we’re supposed to root against, constantly given legitimate complaints. It’s time for Sheamus to move on to someone else.
SIDE NOTE: Is there a reason Randy Orton is beating all the top heels? It would make sense if he was being built as Punk’s next challenger, but that doesn’t seem to be the plan.
How is AJ supposed to be better than Johnny Ace? Isn’t she doing the exact same things he did? AJ has to do something else besides torment her ex-boyfriends. You’re just wasting what was at first a fresh; interesting character on the same BS you’ve been doing all damn year.
Also, if Cena had just come out and said to Punk, “Take your title shot and shove it,” or words to that effect, he would’ve gotten the effect he wanted, maybe won over a few fans, and FINISHED THE SHOW ON TIME!
That’s it for this week peep-holes. I’ll see you next time, on RYT-TIME.
Let’s do things a bit differently this week.
MATCH RESULTS
• CM PUNK VS BIG SHOW – NO CONTEST: It’s basically Big Show dominating, with Punk fighting back from behind until Daniel Bryan comes out in a full mad-on. Bryan slaps the “no” lock on Punk and Show joins in for a “little rough up the champ” action until Cena makes the save. AJ comes out and pulls a “Teddy,” making a tag match for later in the night.
• RYBACK DEFEATS JTG – This was in response to JTG griping backstage about not getting TV time. It’s the same match we’ve seen for about… ever.
• R-TRUTH DEFEATS HEATH SLATER – After the match, the PTP (minus AW) run in for a beat down on R-Truth. Kofi supposedly is out of the country, leaving Truth outnumbered.
• SIN CARA DEF TENSAI – Tensai spends most of the match overpowering Sin Cara, until the Lucha legend side-steps him into Sakamoto and hits a DDT from the top rope. Tensai beats down Sakamoto after the match.
• DOLPH ZIGGLER DEF JERICHO/THE MIZ (3-WAY) – Jericho won a twitter poll to be the guest on Piper’s Pit. After a few minutes, Ziggler and Vicki come out to run Jericho down. Miz joins in and tries to kick Piper and Jericho out. After Jericho cleans house, we get a commercial break. When we come back, we’re told AJ made this match via twitter. Dolph gets the pin on the Miz.
• LAYLA & KAITLYN DEF EVE & BETH PHOENIX – Pretty standard tag, with Layla actually trying to show some personality. (Nice spot with Layla butt-bumping Eve in the face.) Ends with Kait rolling Beth up for a three count.
• JOHN CENA & CM PUNK DEF BIG SHOW & DANIEL BRYAN – Interesting theme here. NO ONE wants to tag out on either side. Bryan tags in whenever Show gets close. Show gets more and more bothered. Cena tags in whenever Punk gets close. Punk returns in kind. Punk and Cena do the “stealing each other’s moves,” routine, and eventually both Show AND Punk wash their hands of the whole thing. It ends with an AA on Bryan for the pin, and Punk rescuing (?) Cena from an attack from behind by Big Show.
• DAMIEN SANDOW DEF CHRISTIAN – I have NEVER seen Christian jobbed out like this. Christian gets in an elbow shot from the top rope, but when he follows Sandow outside to the floor, and gets sent into the steps, Sandow bounces his head against the steel steps. Brodus Clay hobbles out on his bum leg to distract Sandow, but all Christian gets is a roll-up for two. Sandow ends this with his neck-breaker variation.
Okay so, why the new approach? Well one, I’m sick of being up till three in the morning trying to recap EVERY segment in detail, and two, I wanted to get that stuff out of the way for my 1st official…
RYTMAN RANT!
Re: This show’s pacing, W.T.F?
Here’s the deal, we have Shawn Michaels guest starring tonight. Apparently, Triple H’s flight was delayed, and he’s not there yet, so Shawn is scared. Every segment is Shawn looking over his shoulder like Daffy Duck during duck season, waiting for his inevitable Brock Beat-down. Eventually, Shawn is in the ring with Brock and Paul Heyman, and Hunter rolls in just in the nick of time to protect Shawn (which is a whole other thing) and sign the contract. Brock signs and leaves. Perfect spot to end the show…
Except we have 15-20 minutes left.
Okay so, umm… commercial break!
And we’re back. Well, okay… let’s have a shot of Shawn and Hunter having a heart to heart that ends with Shawn walking off possibly pissed at Hunter. And we’re out!
No we are not.
Hoo-boy, okay-commercial… and interview Big Show about going into Summerslam-WAITAMINUTE! SOMETHINGS HAPPENING IN THE PARKING LOT! Heyman is blocking Shawn’s car with his car. They’re yelling at each other, AND LESNAR GRABS SHAWN! The camera goes black and we hear Lesnar beating down Shawn.
Okay, end on a cliff-hanger; what happened to Shawn? Good, we’re out-no we’re not.
We come back from commercial (notice a pattern?) to see Hunter and everyone else who wanted some extra camera time worrying about Shawn. We cut back to ringside where Lesnar has Shawn up in a fireman’s carry and is walking to the ring. Shawn takes the F-5 and as Hunter runs to the rescue, Lesnar locks on the arm-breaker. Heyman warns Hunter not to take another step, or Lesnar breaks Shawn’s arm; which he does anyway. Raw ends FOR REAL with trainers trying to help Shawn, and Lesnar running away with an evil grin on his face.
And Raw comes in at 10:01 p.m. here in Chicago.
Seriously
We honestly couldn’t have Shawn get beaten up at the beginning of the show? We couldn’t put this contract signing crap in the middle of the show and get it over with in time for (what should’ve been) the main event? Did you guys try SO HARD to end on time that you wound up short? Could you have given that extra time to, maybe Christian/Sandow?
This was a HUGE step backwards, I’m sorry, it is. You went from going overtime with the Main Events over the last two weeks, to going under trying to make time for a stupid segment that you had to strrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch out with false endings to fill up time THAT YOU TOOK AWAY FROM THE MATCHES!
(Sigh)
Seriously WWE, re-evaluate your damn priorities before Raw goes the Nitro route.
Cancelled