Tag Archive: Redneck

  1. Pintnoir reviews Impact Wrestling – 3/15/2012 (A match for Anderson)

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    We open with Steve and Bobby walking into the arena (from separate entrances of course). For some reason Roode step out of the pyro room which makes me wonder. We get a vignette of Roode vs Sting going into Victory Road this Sunday.

    James Storm our official TNA redneck comes out to make an inring promo about his eventual confrontation in a steel cage with the aforementioned Roode. I smell a slobber knocker coming this April. Just as Storm’s finishes Bully Ray comes out. He taughts the #1 contender tellling him that he won’t make it to Lockdown. And just when we think a fight is about to break out Ray calls out Gunner to take his licks. After a couple of punches the security groupies rush the ramp to separate the two, during the insueing ruckus Ray gets in a cheap shot.

    Another Bobby Roode vignette about Sting.

    Madison and Gail argue about losing the tag titles which they really weren’t defending, but i digress. They confront Sting who tells them that he’s busy dealing with Roode. He sets up two matches Gail vs Mickie and Madison vs Velvet Sky, Rayne’s match is next.

    Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky:

    Madison composes herself on the ramp before cutting into her Killer Queen gimmick, which by the way needs to change but “hearts” to her anyway. Velvet comes out next shaking her pom poms and just as she is ready to staddle a rope for pigeons, she darts toward Rayne spear first. Early on Sky has the advantage with her assorted moves of doom until Madison gets the upper and due to a ref who can’t keep his hands off the knockout. Then the crowd gets behind Velvet which comes out like a druid chant for a death march. I laugh and die on the inside. No offense to the Madison haters but I’m behind her as her move set and more diversified. Anyway after a rollup by Sky which is reversed into another roll up with tights for the win.

    Crimson is smug backstage bragging about the win over the two Robs, which is as brag worthy as breathing. After Morgan questions Crimson’s motives about winning belts and making money they head out.

    Samoa Joe vs Crimson:

    A short match to show that Crimson/Morgan are on the same page and another loss for Joe with Magnus looking weaker even by comparison when he attempts to attack Morgan on the outside only to get irish whipped into the ring post.

    Austin Aries comes out and shows his X division champion reel and brags about being the longest reigning X Division champion exceeding the previous record of 182 days set by Christopher Daniels. Celebrating aside out comes Zema Ion, after some exchanges about breaking necks and nut hair growth, Ion gives the toast right before he throws a drink in is face. Aries answers back by dousing Ion in the hole bottle ruining his pretty hair.

    Gail Kim vs Mickie James:

    There was promos with Sting going on about crowing and craziness but ehh. Mickie and Gail continue to prove their previous WWE stint match was a fluke which they have been trying to allevate through superior matches. This one is no different. After Gail messes with Mickie’s knee we have a methodical attack which culminates with Mickie making a comeback but Kim out smarting her with a belt to the face. she scores the win. heel syle.

    We have a watercooler or Lemonade talk according to Anderson about his involvement with AJ Styles. Daniels is curious why he’s taking Styles side which I had the same question because the story looked to be going good til last week. When Kazarian went from unwilling pawn to bitter assistant to all an out heel which now makes this story seem trite. But we have a match between the Daniels and Anderson to hype.

    Daniels vs Anderson:

    Anderson knocks off some ring rust with Daniels as he seems to not miss a step. Daniels bumps like a madman. Anderson and Daniels battle and during the melee Chris cuts his cheek. Kazarian comes down to the ring to distract Anderson only for AJ to come to the rescue Daniels gets up only to take a mic check. Anderson wins and prepares for Victory Road.

    Jeff Hardy prattles on about Angle being an Olympic gold medalist. and his creatures. Speaking of Angle

    Garett and Angle have a five minute challenge match which I assume (and you know what they say about assuming) will make Bitchoff (not my words but Angle’s) look good. And I guess that old adiom about is right not only does Garett look good but it also hypes Hardy vs Angle this Sunday when Hardy comes out to save Garett when Angle who’s angry about not beating Garett in time locks him in the ankle lock.

    The Two Robs are interviewed by Wonder Years and talk about the upcoming open invitational. Yeah TV title on the line and the person is random. Here’s to an eventual title change so we can have some actual competiton. One can hope right.

    James Storm vs Gunner:

    Here are two back woods southern wrestlers on the opposing sides of the heel/face tangent. What we have so far is a good match between two competitors with Bully Ray egging on the Gunner. But Gunner gets the job done and by that he takes a Last Call to the face. Making James Storm look strong going into Victory Road.

    Sting and Bobby Roode have their contract signing which is where Roode rips into Sting with all his worth for a good 8 minutes. All the while Sting sits patiently listening untl Bobby turns to leave. Sting flips the table over kicks over the chairs and puts on his makeup and attacks the champion. And while beating on the Roode he applies his trademark black paint to Roode’s face. After Roode scurries out of the ring face ashen from the paint sting gets enpowered by his attack.

    Well here’s to Victory Road.


  2. PNTNR review TNA iMPACT 2/2/12 – Live (Taped) From Wembley Arena. Yeah, it’s Hogan?!

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    We start Impact Wrestling with Champion Bobby Roode and Bully getting heat from the crowd. After taunting Storm (calling him “The Cowgirl James Storm”)calls him out. Storm comes out to raucus applause. The Bully jumps in front of Roode as a protector should as all three men face off. Leading to Steve Borden coming out to announce that Against All Odds will be a four way for the TNA World Title. Making sure to assure fans that Jeff Hardy is well and will be ready to compete. But Storm still wants the two disciples of the Selfish Generation tonight!  Sting faced with this crazy redneck scratches the two on one match originally scheduled and turns it into two separate matches having the cowboy work double duty. Before shouting his now trademark “ta ta for now!” Which the British crowd eats up with mimickry.

    We get a shot of Garett Bischoff walking into the arena on his cell phone. Which makes me wonder how he’s getting reception. I mean its London, England for christ sake.

    Samoa Joe and Britain’s own Magnus approach the ring as the crowd goes wild. Tonight is a Buckingham Brawl, which is essentially a coin toss is done and the winner gets to go by Tornado Tag rules while the opposition has to use traditional tag methods. In which case similar to the Papa Johns commericial with Manning ends with Morgan and Crimson losing the toss. Which the crowd is happy about. This match is a classic example of the MCMG  vs Lethal Consequences feud from a few years back with LC being faces but being booed because the crowd liked the Machine Guns better. Same rules apply here. Joe and Magnus are way over while Morgan and Crimson are booed no matter what they do. After a beat down on the faces, Morgan eats a enziguri into a Elbow drop for the three count. The crowd is estatic.

    Suceeding that match is Eric Bischoff coming out to call out his son, Garett. The crowd is not amused. Not even when Garett arrives to the ring does the crowd ease up. And the torpedo just continues. Eric does his song and dance about Garett being a dreamer and that he will never accomplish half of what he has and how he should just give it up. Which the crowd responds with “Boring” chants. This is followed with Garett on his imaginery phone


    with his trainer who by now should be acknowledged as Hogan. Because this hasn’t been done before sans mystery. Crowd almost down right riots with the boring/booing shaking the arena. And I was watching from the USA and could feel it. Finally this painfully watched segment ends. In the ending segment leading to break Tenay announces Hogan’s return. Before he is revealed as the mysterious trainer.

    Momentarily we will have one of the sickest looking botches of night courtesy of Mark Haskins. A Double vs London’s Hometown Hero Mark Haskins, who I might add hasn’t been seen since August. I defer to this point because Tenay makes light of this but wants us to care. Because he is Britain’s own like Magnus but unlike Magnus who has been getting a push, Haskins walks in to almost half hearted support from his kinsmen. This contrasts Aries who is cheered and chanted. But we do get a good match. Albeit one that ends with the sickest landings I’ve seen on network tele. Haskins goes for a Shooting Star Press as he hits the mat Aries moves, Haskins smacks head first on the mat allowing Aries to brainbuster then pull out a classic Horns of Aries submission for the win. But back to the sickening thud his head made when landing the SSP, Haskins is legit hurt suffering a concussion on his third televised appearance with TNA but wow that was sick. Watch it online if you can.

    Where Art Thou?

    Bobby Roode is up next in his non-title match up with James Storm. Which I won’t lie I was disturbed  by this but realized that with the title not on the line we won’t have cowardly heel Bobby but Heel Roode. Which is exactly what we received. This was a good match that didn’t really spoil anything that would be upcoming on PPV seeing as how the ending allowed Ray to interfere distracting Storm leading to a spear and a pin by Roode giving him a win but making Storm still appear viable with having been screwed again for a win. Good match with each man choreographing each other due to thier long history. Afterwards Roode has Ray bullybottom Storm on the world title. Sting comes out to clear the ring but the damage has been done.

    Now its Cougar Town’s own Tara

    Yep still having trouble finding a suitable picture. But this will do.

    taking on (again) in a non-title match up Gail Kim w/ groupie err Tag partner Madison Rayne. Tara who came out pumped to see the London crowd attempted to slap everyone’s hand on the way to the ring. Hyping herself up for the match. We get a decent serving of whats to come during AAO, with Tara and Gail feeling each other out. The crowd in a similar response in the IMpact Zone feel silent for most of the match prompting Tara to unleash the “come on” screech to a momentary crowd noise. The crowd finally picked up when Tara after having been beat down by Ms. Kim finally made a come back (even pimp handing Rayne who was on the apron) leading to Madison reappearing to attack Tara from behind only for Tara to have sixth sense and ninja sidestep allowing Rayne to pop Gail. Rayne is tossed out and Tara wins with the Widow’s Peak. Allegiance aside wouldn’t any interference lead to disqualifiction on either side?

    Garett returns. He is ready to announce his trainer, but before he does Big Bischoff returns to piss on Lil Bischoff’s parade. Bringing along that anger management future attendee Gunner along for the ride. EB spouts one of the best one liners I’ve heard from this program for quite sometime. Attempting his usual threats and promises is interrupted by none other than Hulk Hogan. The United Kingdom explodes. Hogan and G. Bischoff take turns Hulk punching Gunner. With that out of the way we see Eric cowering in a corner. But of course he is thankfully pulled out before HH and GB can get to him.

    Now after that segment we have a backstage or back street more likely chat with Lil Bischoff and Hulk Hogan. Hogan hypes up the UK, talks about how TNA is on the cusp of greatness a smidgeon away from being a thousand times bigger than it is now. What started as a Hogan/Bischoff shoot on Eric became muddled in a rallying cry for iMPACT Wrestling. Having Hogan in his own words leading the ship as the mantle piece on front seeing through the fog of doubt. And for those not smelling the greatness he’ll gladly grab them direct them toward it?!

    We saw what happened to the last boat Hogan helped steer.

    Yeah my thoughts exactly.

    The Main Event: James Storm, now with taped ribs taking on Bully Ray the man with the massive calves. The crowd is loving the chant “Where is Devon?” Ray takes control early on and is shouting “I’m going to break your ribs” to Storm. Soon after the start of the match Bobby Roode comes down. This of course is followed by Borden bring his trademark…Cricket bat. Oh yeah, baseball doesn’t exist in England. Soon Storm makes a comeback and as happenstance should have it a ref bump/both wrestles laid out in the middle of the ring occurs. Roode slids in followed by Steve. This causes the champ to run like the wind with Sting in pursuit. Ray goes to reach out to Roode only to turn around and face the last call. Storm wins as a distraught champion looks on in anger.

    Next week will be a Star Wars Themed Impact again taking place in Wembley Arena. Because TNA and Star Wars share a common interest? OH wait most of the original film crew for Star Wars: A New Hope were Brits. But when it airs Star Wars: The Phantom Menace is coming to theatres in 3D which was filmed by….Jamacian stereotypes disguised as floppy haired creatures? OH NO WAIT…Is it because TNA hopes to capitalize off the launch of Star Wars to make money for itself. Good Good very WWE of you guys.

    Meesa so proud. TNA TNA TNA


  3. Late Edition- Pintnoir’s thoughts on Impact Wrestling-11/17/11

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    Since I’m past the date of due, I decided after watching Impact Wrestling a day late to just run through what I liked and what really irritated the hell out of me.  Why you ask? Because after treading around for hours for a site to view it from I watched what could be only described as a shitty attempt at booking and story. The backstage segments felt just sadly inserted into the show where it looked as if Steve Borden (Sting minus makeup) Ninja vanished into a locker room only after seconds earlier talking to Matt Morgan and Crimson and convincing them to take on Mexican America. And lets not forget watching James Storm trek through the back looking for his assailant in one asinine confrontation after another.

    Lurking like a ninja in the dark.

    But before I spill all my guts about this travesty lets look at how the show starts.

    Show opens with Turning Point main event between Roode and Styles in which Roode wins via heel win. (For those not in the know he rolled up AJ and held the tights.) Roode comes out talking down to the rest of Fortune. Making sure everyone knows he was the leader and carried the rest of the group, but that now he had to scrap them off his boots. He tells Storm that he needs to get out of his shadow which of course prompts Storm to come out he makes the obligatory comments about being a redneck cowboy and calling Roode a jackass and a dumbass in the same sentence. Not making that up.  Making his way to the ring security intervenes. Skipping ahead AJ comes out and attacks Bobby. Later after Sting comes out and makes a 30 minute Iron Man Match; Roode attacks Dixie and eventually Styles again who comes to the rescue before security separates him from the owner of the company.

    Where is security when the owner of the company is being assaulted? They came quick for Storm but not for Dixie? Anyway this does very little for Roode’s heel heat which would actually have worked with a simple “Roode attacked Storm to get out of facing him for a second time” But no. We have the Cowboy come out and accuse Roode only to be told by his two faced former partner that oh no I didn’t attack you. And he buys it. Its good to know that Pritchard is filtering Russo to such wonderful success.

    And another thing what is up with the in ring brawl with security who for some reason can’t seem to successfully separate people. Gives me migraines of Hardy/Jarrett.

    Sting confronts Roode for shoving Dixie. Roode who now goes from Balboa back to his money heel promises to have his lawyer(s) plural sue Sting if he touches him. Consistency is a wonderful lost art.

    Devon (who is out of shape and obviously going to job for the television title)- ugh- His kids and the Pope all come to the ring like a wonderful same sex couple. Because Devon’s wife has all but vanished ninja style. But I digress they are all coming to give cannon fodder to Robbie E and Rob Terry, I’m having flashbacks to Disco Inferno and not in a good way. Long story short Devon dominates before the Pope is knocked out by Rob T, leading to Devon’s kids coming to his aid. This of course distracts Devon who is rolled up and losses the match.

    And I thought Pritchard killed this story.

    Tag Match with Austin Aries (who is one of the bright spots of Impact) Kash vs Sorenson (who is slowly forming a personality??!!) With Kendrick who could of easily been replaced by Xima Ion very easily.  Typical heel disruption causes Kash to eat a crossroads for the faces to win.

    Aries leaves and the match loses 50 cool points which is the only cool points it had to begin with.

    Karen gives Gail the night off. Sends brown nose Madison out to take care of Velvet. Pointless Storm search leads to Anderson who is playing Madden when he should be playing a new TNA Impact game if we ever get one on par with WWE’ 12. Any who pointless stare down and posturing leads to Storm unplugging the game.

    10 woman Knockout Elimination match-Velvet who is out first faces Rosita. Bell rings and 5 seconds later Sky hits the impact buster for the pin. Next its Tessmacher who gets a bull dog and waltzes out 3 minutes later. Angelina follows she pins Velvet with trunk assistance. Love gets taken out by Mickie James shortly after. Mickie then faces…Sarita, boy this should be a good match especially after she reverses the implant ddt but a minute later she is taken down with what looks like a funky version of a implant ddt. Next is Tara but a couple minutes later she is out with a DDT. Winter’s next, spin kick and out. ODB comes out and gets a solid reaction from the crowd. After some scuffle she is taken down with a top rope lou thesz press. After a tantrum where she takes out Mickie with an F5 maneuver which lays out James. Madison comes to the ring to crickets taking her time and I do mean she goes at a turtle pace before sliding into the ring for the pin only to be rolled up. Mickie wins. Yeah this was sad filler.

    Sarita versus Mickie; Sarita in the main event; The whole damn match!

    At this point I start to tune out as I see Storm confront Bully Ray who tries to get him into Immortal. Jeff Hardy has a confrontation with the Jarretts (specifically Karen Jarrett) which drags on way to long to be entertaining. Karen who looked so lost before and after Jeff Jarrett entered the ring is just a sign that she needs to be taken off television or put into OVW to sharpen her skills.

    Where sub par talent goes.....to hopefully never return

    So the makeshift tag team of Crimson Blueprint takes down Mexican America after only one night together while Ink INC with the addition of Von Erie aka Toxxin could not do. Bullsh…….

    Garrett beats Gunner with a Mickie style DDT. That was the main event by the way.

    Finally we have Storm. Who came out to accuse AJ of attacking him, seen as he has now been given two shots against Roode. Fight breaks out before Kazarian comes to the ring to break it up. Because that is all Kaz can do is break up bitch fights with team mates instead of the feud he should of had with Jarrett. But I digress again because who knows what is going on back in the writing room.

    When Kaz meets a storyline

    Kurt who was lurking under the ring comes out as Storm leaves. He attacks and shoves Storm back into the ring admitting it was him. This of course is followed by that crappy Impact Music of Doom. And I vomited.


  4. Impact Wrestling: 07/07/11


    Back on Thursdays, is this G here. Yep, another week of craziness bookended by a long weekend up North and down South… which included all the drama of the NHL free agent frenzy. But you don’t care about holidays or hockey, no valued reader. You want to know what happened over in Orlando… and who Sting will emulate, tonight? Hell, I’ll even toss the Power Poll at the end for you!

    It is the go-home show before this Sunday’s Destination X PPV.