So I just finished iMPACT and I’m at a loss for words. Was the episode bad? No but it didn’t make much sense, that major glare of course was the reveal of Dixie and AJ. But first lets go over earlier parts of the show one being the Knockouts. Brooke Hogan is having a meeting with the talent in her dad’s office. I look around at the talent present and all I see is people who have already won the belt or are stuck in asinine story.
Madison- In Love with someone hopefully not Garett Bischoff
Velvet- who has had numerous chances to wrestle Gail and failed for the Women’s title
Mickie- who has been used to prop up Velvet
ODB- another ridiculous in love/jealously story with Eric Young with the Knockout titles no less
Impact is Hogan Country. After only being gone since October, Hogan is now a face official. And out to introduce him is Dixie Carter doing her best Price’s Right impersonation introduces the man in black in blue GM Hulk Hogan.
This time the entire locker room is out there instead of the last weeks 5 or 6 faces. Hogan starts booking matches, Crimson and Morgan will settle their feud at Lockdown and also having Angle vs Hardy right after his speech.
Angle and Hardy ends in a count out after Kurt decides enough is enough. Hogan congratulates him and sets up a Lockdown match between them. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t Kurt legit hurt with a pulled groin so shouldn’t he be taking it easy for those Olympic trials instead of in a cage? But I guess priorities.
Flair is in the back on his cell phone talking to Vince ..er I mean Eric Bischoff about out of control Hogan.
The Bully Ray comes out talk about his name and how he’s taken craps bigger than Austin Aries. Which of course prompts Aries to come out and fling his microphone at him and beat on him in the corner before Ray gets the upper hand and powerbombs Aries. Bully Ray like a kid who forgets that he’s already introduced himself asks “Do you know who I am?”
Then we have Joseph Park still looking for his brother Abyss. This time he hopes that the caterers know where he’s at but to no avail but he leaves his card anyway. At this point he should just go straight to Dixie Carter ask to see the tapes from Genesis, find out the Bully Ray may have something to do with and attack/litigate him to death. Just sayin.
Then we have the knockouts number one contenders match with everyone but Brooke Tessmacher, Sarita and Rosita because you know they don’t exist in the realm of possiblity of getting the title. That right is reserved for Velvet Sky who not only was given a whole new backstory but hot shoted to the title picture because she exudes sexuality! Who needs talented knockouts when one can get first Madison Rayne who is the longest reigning former champion and a women who causes men to “Let the Pigeons Loose”. Glow, Shimmer and Chickfight keep me strong. Velvet wins after apologizing to Mickie and hitting her with “In Yo Face” for her Lockdown rematch.
Wrong Pic but I like it better than a champion Sky
EY has a bachelor party with a bunch of nerds…Our word so I am allowed to say it. Well Jock nerds who play Fantasy Baseball when Dungeons and Dragons is too complicated. Then ODB comes in an places Eric’s face in her boobs. And I died a little inside. KO Tag Titles going to good use.
Aj Styles and James storm was nice and a good flashback to when Roode took on Styles to prepare for Angle. After a moonsault, Storm kicks Styles teeth down in his throat. In a good little short match. Here is something I can get behind now if only AJ could stop being used as enhancement talent which seems to be the case 99% of time.
Montgomery Gentry is in the back and is confronted by Roode and his bodyguards as he spits water into the rednecks eyes. OH SH–t I smell a Canadian lynching! but no that is what security is for.
In one of the oddest turn of events what was once a one on one match between Gunner and Garett is now turned into a Lethal Lockdown match were if Bischoff senior loses he right to the Bischoff name along with being kicked off Impact. Hmm I wonder who is going to win you know with Eric getting work on a project that could and will take him off television for a while but like a cockroach he’ll be back.
Always getting his good side
MCMG have a tag match against Mexican America who I thought had disbanded after the Repo game guy took thier girls but there back too along with Helium Chavo. You know when I can’t have Sarita and to a lesser extent Rosita in the Knockout title picture but they can hang with LAX lite to be fed to the MachineGuns I know what I’m in for in the foreseeable future. Crap. MCMG win and then call out the Joe Daddies. So yeah here comes the tag division and I mean all the meaningful tag teams in a cage for the titles. 4 guys make up a once great division. TNA should look at the total roster and make more and not only that but with them renewing there deal with Spike put on Xplosion on Saturdays with focus on Tag team, Television and X Division story arcs. Internal booking mode off. I’m happy that Sabin is back though.
And the main event is a “dream” match between Mr. Anderson and Roode who in typical heel fashion smacks a beer bottle over his head. And wins only to have Storm then Hogan out to reverse the decision to close out the show.
Thoughts: I find the introduction to be really Razzie bad by Dixie but after that the show really took off and we got some good matches and some good progression what with the Motor City Machine Guns back and kicking ass and maybe we will have an official who watches the matches and intervenes when something goes wrong unlike Sting for the last few months. Here is to a better Go Home show then last PPV what with it being Lockdown.
See you next Week
And no visible pics. yeah this is awesome. Hope to get that fixed for next time. (ThinkSoJoE note: Fixed!)
We open the show with the drawn out conclusion of Victory Road. This leads into Dixie Carter coming to the ring putting her best crying face on. She goes over how horrible of a champion Roode is and how she has conversed with Lawyers for the past week, but the incident only happened last night, but thats what happened when you tape a show. Mr. Borden comes to the ring to make a case for keeping Roode so James Storm and the fans can get revenge at Lockdown. Because you know when and if I put hands on my boss nothing will be down until he gets revenge at a later date. Sting seems reinvigorated with becoming a wrestler again and decides to abducate the GM position and elects Hogan to Dixie’s chargin.
We then cut to Bully Ray who seems obsessed with taking hostages for whatever reason. Which with the X Division match coming next is apparent foreshadowing. Some one always has to take out the X guys to prove a point to which point I wish I knew.
Austin Aries (c) vs Kid Kash vs Anthony Nese vs Zema Ion: A really good match. Especially for Nese who was able to show off his abilities and hopefully gets a shot at a story with Aries. Everyone gets as least one show moment in and out of the ring leading to a tower of doom in the corner. Then (like foreshadowing demands) Bully Ray comes in as the competitors are all laid out and attacks. Aries the only one left standing gets a boot to the face. Yeah that was awesome.
So Mexican America is outside with Josh Matthews who is about to repossess their ride. What happens next is typical Repo Games which Chavo or should I say Anarquia gets wrong except for the first one. Leading to begging for a chance to pay Matthews when each set wins their respective tag titles, honestly they should both just play easy slots games.
Sarita and Rosita vs Eric Young and ODB: This match was short and to the point, as with that I mean we got the typical EY antics which lead to him goofily playing around the ring since male on female violence isn’t allowed on Spike TV. Eventual Eric strips which causes the girls to flock around him (because Sarita has nothing better to do) hitting on him. ODB jealous takes out the pair before hitting the BBAM on Rosita she starts in on EY for messing around with other girls and where his ring, they kiss and she tosses him on top of Rosita for the pin. Yeah so Bully Ray couldn’t interrupt this match.
Crimson is backstage previewing the new Direct Auto Insurance with Morgan before going all heel and saying Morgan was the selfish one. Morgan appears and attacks Crimson until security pulls them apart. Crimson crawls away.
James Storm comes out and calls out Roode for attacking Dixie and for just being a bad friend. Instead of Roode we get Randy Orton circa The Evolution who is the British attorney for Robert Roode who is hiding at home until Lockdown but Storm is more than welcome to fight either Daniels or Kazarian. James opts for both then Last Calls the lawyer William Kelly.
Kurt Angle is having an interview with Wonder Years when after being asked about the rematch with Hardy which Kurt declines, is presented with the fact that he lost against Garrett which causes Kurt to seek out the kid which takes 5 seconds rechallenging him for three minutes.
Garett vs Angle: Garett and kurt have a pissing contest until a shoving match fires up Garett causing him to do a couple clothelines and a face plant. But when bischoff jr goes for one face plant too many Kurt tossing Garett out of the ring. Garett sees the clock and decides to duck Angle for the remaining time. Until that is Gunner comes out and attacks Garett. Bisch Junior wins by DQ. Hardy comes out for the save.
Tag Title Match Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Mexican America: MA takes early advantage isolating Magnus as Joe watches from the sidelines. Magnus eventually gets the hot tag and Joe cleans house locking Anarquia in a choke hold. The Sitas hope up on the apron to distract the ref who doesn’t see that Chavo Jr has tapped. Then Josh Matthews comes down and repossess the girls. Hernandez breaks the hold and is about ready to powerbomb Joe when Magnus big boots him and takes Chavo jr setting up for the back kick into the elbow drop. Magnus and Joe wins.
Afterwards in the lot MA is trying to get the car back only to attack Matthews who fights Anarquia off. Proving that they have no money or power to take on Matthews the girls leave with Josh. Hopefully ending Mexican America.
James Storm comes out to have his handicapp match with Kaz and Daniels which lasts a total of 5 minutes including entrances. Oh and before that we get news on how next week we are having the official video of Longnecks and Rednecks (Storm’s theme) with Montgomery Gentry and Cowboy Troy! IF you not into country you may not know who that is. Storm wins after a Double Last Call on Kaz and Daniels respecitvely.
Wow the main event is Hogan and Sting with Dixie talking about the GM position which could of been handled at the beginning of the show. Awesome. As I try not to fall asleep as Sting kisses Hogan’s ass we are left decisionless which means that this will continue into next week on a taped show. yeah again. sigh.
No disrespect to the fans with the title. I’m a fan myself but this show with all this innuendo of changes lacked any. The ring and outside arena still had TNA posted everywhere with a hue of blue and added rows of seats which another reviewer on TNAsylum pointed out. Was that the change? I doubt it. But here’s to Thursday on finding out. Well lets get into what TNA Impact Wrestling is all about. Impact Wrestling presents Sacrifice.
Mexican America vs Ink Inc.
I wasn’t expecting much from this match. I mean Anarquia has shown a total disregard to impress and Hernandez just doesn’t seem to care anymore. But then you have Jesse Neal and his infectious energy makes me smile. Oh and Shannon Moore and his book make me shake my head. But then seeing as how Moore had one of the best spots of the evening. Sailing off the ring onto Hernandez with a moonsault. The match was sub par besides with predictable interference by Rosita and Sarita. And a botched over the top rope clothesline by Moore on Anarquia. Shockingly due to a miscommunication involving Moore attempting to hit Rosita and Neal objecting. Hernandez was able to hit his modified border toss on Neal giving the win to Mex America. Why was I shocked? Ink Inc is the number one contender for the tag titles leading into Slammiversary. I’m adamant that Christina Von Eerie should be there as well but that is probably wishful thinking. So naturally, Ink Inc getting the win would make them look strong going in. But we still have 3 weeks to make amends.
Hopefully with it now being iMPACT Wrestling we can stop having Promos in our PPV’s. We get one here as Jeff and Karen come out to announce that they can not compete in the mixed tag match. Foley comes out again the announcement “wrestling matters” is uttered. He tells the Jarretts that the next time they bring X rays make sure it doesn’t belong to a 6’6 African American male. Karen shrieks throws off boot in a temper tantrum leading to Mick exiting. Match on. The crowd is amp to have Chyna.
Brian Kendrick…shoots a promo on the X Division. I wish I knew what he was saying since he is all mystical and what not. All I caught was the word molested. I don’t now in what context. But it was said. To sum up he just promises to show how important the X division is.
Brian Kendrick vs Robbie E w/ Cookie.
Robbie comes out as Cookie walks out messing with he phone/camera? Anyway the crowd seems to be nonchalant. Mr. Gym Tan Wrestling, fist pumps for Cookie while she takes a picture. Again the crowd could care less. Kendrick steps out in his white robe to a good crowd pop. Kendrick 1, Robbie 0. Once in he puts on his gimmick meditating dead center in the ring. Cookie, trying to win a screeching contest against Karen shouts that “you’re a freak!” As Robbie holds her back. Exit Cookie. And we have Kendrick alive and booting E in the face. Kendrick 2, Robbie 0. Then the junior banshee interferes. Distracted Robbie takes control beating Kendrick ragged even getting him outside of the ring. Where Cook’s proceeds to choke him with her boot. Robbie setting up for his signature neck-breaker (god forbid I have no idea what’s its called. And I refuse to call it “Rude Awakening” in fear that Rick would haunt me) Reversed. Kendrick beats Rob with a dropkick into a pin. Huh?! I knew he sucked but really. Kendrick acts all crazy holding Earl Hebner’s hand. He even weirds out Rob when he tries to shake his hand. Your winner: Kendrick.
Promo time again folks. But this time its hot cougarish Tara. Trust me I’ve seen this woman without make-up Vickie has nothing on her. Tara’s unhappy with Madison. The bossiness and in general being a lackey. Then Madison appears to remind Tara about how she has a job because of her. Folks I won’t lie when she came on all that kept going through my mind was “Why is she here?” “She should of stayed in a shimmer tag team” and my favorite thought “God, please severe her vocal cords. please I’ll go to church,eventually”. Time for the match.
Mickie James (c) vs Madison Rayne (With Tara’s freedom on the line)
Here comes the Queen Bee (seriously she has a sash with the title) and the gaudiest oversized crown I’ve ever seen. That better be from the dollar general. In full royal mode, the crowd is dead. Canned heat where are you? In the words of another TNA watcher, The Rayne Experiment has failed. No one and I do mean no one cared when she came out. Then Mickie came out. The roof exploded. She could do no wrong. I seriously believe that she could of killed a puppy and folks would still cheer for her. Lets get ready to… Tara’s theme music hits. The crowd breaks into further excitement. Again the Rayne Experiment elicits no response. A faceoff between Rayne and Tara distracts long enough for Mickie to get on the offensive. Tara seems conflicted. Should she hit Mickie. Only a minute in and I’m already sensing an overbook coming on.
To break it down simply this match is a TNA haters dream. Overbooking. check. horrible in ring competitor. check. A last minute reintroduction of the loaded glove. check. Tara makes the save for Mickie after 2!! Ref bumps. Tara finally makes the decision to cold cock Rayne with the loaded glove letting Mickie get the 3count. Crap match over.
Sorry about that but I was a big fan of the Knock out division. In 2009. This was a bad match indeed. But it will get better in the future, right? No. Chances are we will see Velvet Sky vs Mickie for the title. At least she’s over?!
Fortune promo. Line remembered. Kaz- Max Buck you wouldn’t be a star even if thrown by a ninja. Or something to that effect. Other smack talk by Beer Money and AJ. Next.
Max Buck vs Kazarian(c)
Good mat wrestling. (I swore when this was going on someone yelled “boring”) Buck plays the egotistical heel to perfection. Slapping and name calling. Some really cool spots with a over the ropes leg drop. Buck reversed 3 fade to blacks by Kaz. Kaz follows up with a powerbomb to the outside. Buck comes in with a top rope cutter and a 450 degree splash for a two count. Kaz goes old school (shout out to Allison Danger) and beats Buck with a shining wizard. Good. Now if only it was hyped.
Promo. A 6’6 360lb homeless man talks about pain and breaking a undefeated streak. Then I realize that its Abyss. Next up its TNA’s John Cena taking on Crimson.
With Crimson’s imaginary 5 month winning streak on the line (I now I’m being harsh but times have changed from Samoa Joe) he takes on Abyss strong only slowing down when he spears a turnbuckle. After that the Cena of TNA controls the majority of the match. Crimson resumes control with one double clothesline and a seven count. Abyss reverses with a chokeslam. then comes Janice. Crimson spears Abyss, Abyss loses Janice. Crimson goes to the well once too often and is big booted. Abyss pulls out a Vader Bomb from the corner. 2 count. Crimson hits Cena with the Red Sky Powerbomb (D’lo Brown’s Sky High) keeping his streak intact. After some posturing Abyss goes back to lick his wounds. Now please can we have Joe vs Crimson now?
Promo. Its like deja vu. No. Its a vignette. Beer Money vs Hardy/Harris
I’ll keep it short. Harris plays a heel and won’t fight Storm one on one. He’ll only sneak attack. So no big showdown between the two. Which would of made sense. Remember 2006 when the team of AMW split? Storm was the one who attacked Harris. Almost taking out an eye. Leading to that hilarious blindfold match. Well now its Harris’ turn to play heel as he and Matt lose after Beer Money hits Harris with the AMW finisher Death Sentence. Mind Games no avail. Next.
Oh its Bully Ray being interviewed by Jeremy Borash. And he is being a bully threatening to beat on Borash and making lewd comments about AJ’s wife. I hope she isn’t watching. So we will see Ray vs Styles? Nope.
Dreamer vs Styles
Lets keep it real short. Ray interferes in this No DQ bout this sets Styles up for a piledriver on a table. Dreamer wins. Next.
Another vignette. Not complaining as long as its not a promo.
The Jarret’s vs Angle/Chyna
Kurt is an undiscovered comedian. His smirk during the entire match was classic. It brought back memories of the axe wielding incident at the wedding. Chyna is over big time. Fans are chanting for her to kick Karen’s butt. After a good back and forth between Jarret and Angle, Chyna is finally tagged in. The fans erupt. false alarm. Jarret stays in the ring and continues the fight with Kurt. Angle goes for his exploding triple Germans then an Angle slam. 2count. Chyna comes in and body slams then vertical suplexe’s Jarret. Eventually chasing Karen back into the ring Chyna splashes Karen in the corner. Karen dazed is hit with the double under hook DDT. (pedigree for wwe fans). Chyna locks in the ankle lock followed by Kurt on Jarret. Karen taps. Angle/Chyna victorious.
Main Event Vignette.-Then Anderson comes out to blog and commentate.
RVD vs Sting
The match is decent. Rob shows off. Sting pulls out some moves. They fight in the crowd. RVD pulls an impressive cross body onto Sting from the second stands. Sting blocks Rolling Thunder. A Stinger Splash is countered by a spin kick. One botched deathdrop then a rinse and repeat Deathdrop closes the match with the win for Sting. Afterwards Anderson has a stare down with Sting. Slammiversary IX promo
And that is the end of Sacrifice. Wasn’t great but I didn’t pay for it so decent. Here’s hoping for the iMPACT arena changes come Thursday.
