So I guess the WWE filmed two weeks of RAW and SD this week in order to tour Atlantis and the Outer Reaches of the Milky Way. I wonder how all that condensed taping affected writing and booking? Come on y’all, let’s take a ride. Don’t you say shit just get inside. It’s time to take your ass on another kind of trip,
coz you can’t have the hop if you don’t have the hip.
Hopefully we can finally get RAW to keep the momentum going. Last week’s show was called by some people I know the best one of the year. I don’t know necessarily that I agree with that, but the crowd was hot and it definitely helped ease the anger of a lackluster Pay Per View the night before. Let’s roll!
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, and then watch the rest while writing RAW in whatever style I feel like. Because this is the “A” show. SmackDown can have their little make believe stuff, they need it since they’re the “B” show. It’s all half assed matches and RAW recaps over there anyway. Screw you, SmackDown review!
Damien Sandow! Randall Keith Orton? The fuck? It’s all part of the plan folks. Trust me. I never lie in my Smackdown reviews. Well maybe half the time.
One thing I can say, is that I’m glad this is a go-home Smackdown episode. Nothing really will be established and I can rip through it in record time. Since I plan on hitting up the world famous Calgary Stampede for an annual day-night of debauchery, I should get my ass to Mars sooner than later anyways.
Hopping time…close enough for me!
“I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. And as J.T. Hogan has observed, it often makes more sense than the program you are actually watching. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.
– No voice over guy again this week. Perhaps since the WWE parodied TNA’s Gutcheck segment on RAW this week, they are taking a break from mimicking them? I’m taking a break from all the gimmicks I do in my reviews too, so I guess we’re even, huh WWE? I’ll still bring the gif love, though. I’m not that cruel.
– * Daniel Bryan vs. Christian. Right into the match, and Christian’s stage screen doesn’t display him as Michael Mcgillicutty as it did on RAW. Peeps versus goats, I suppose. The match has a good start, building up intensity as it should. And while we hit commercials with Christian laid outside the ring, it comes courtesy a sick looking flying knee to the head courtesy of D-Bry. Things return to messy sick moves and referee counting. He’s clearly been paying attention to Sheamus’ lessons. An amusing spot has Bryan exchanging kicks to Christian’s knee, while Christian returns the favor with slaps to the face. In a very solid match, Bryan ultimately submits Christian with a No Lock!
Oops.
– The rest of tonight’s card looks to be very redundant.
– The Ghost of Teddy Long is talking with someone on the phone, and Dolph Ziggler shows up to chat. News for Ziggler, he has the night off. Since ADR is wrestling later tonight, Teddy does not want any interference. Vickie Guerrero was fired on Monday and for some reason Teddy thinks if a run in occurs tonight he’ll be fired. The fuck? A logic gap so wide…
A goddamn broom.
– * Jey Uso vs. Seth Rollins. Getting the hype up for the pre-show Youtube match? Great. Seth Rollins more or less dominates this (as he should) to start. Jey gets a wee bit of offensive attacks in, as he “Samoas Up” no selling a few chops. Jey continues with a Rikishi-esque ass attack to a prone Rollins in the corner, and a near fall with some kind of finisher. But Rollins comes back and wraps up this four minute match. The Shield stand atop the announcer table displaying their belts.
– * Non-Title Match: Curtis Axel {C} vs. Chris Jericho. Again, potential for a good little match. But a meaningless one at that. Non-title, whoop dee doo. Notwithstanding, it’s still a highly watchable match. Paul Heyman’s facials take the cake, as the two deliver in the match. Jericho is doing his best to help make this guy (albeit, is too much damage already been done?). Axel ultimately is counted out and Jericho wins. I don’t think that helped Axel’s push at all, and I have to wonder if he will retain the title on Sunday…
That’s how it’s down. Screw the gun.
– No plot development really this week, as we just once again hop into another bout. I’m not complaining, but am having a tough time with being invested since all the matches of significance are on Sunday. Regardless, it’s a nice break from some of the crap this show can deliver on occasion.
@Charles Barkley @G: “What I’m saying, G, is that I’m convinced if I put the Kane mask on, I can win the MitB match.”
@G @Charles Barkley: “I am still convinced people will know you’re not him. Plus he’s out of the match.”
– * Ryback vs. The Miz. Yawn. FFW on 2/5. The highlight of the match is when Ryback feigns his knee injury shtick like when he couldn’t finish the match, then takes out Miz with the ShellShock. Post match he continues to sell his injury. I don’t know what to think about this.
– Backstage Renee Young interviews Unmixed Strawberry Yogurt about the All Star MitB match. Sheamus rambles on about how the Irish chased the snakes out of Ireland, and not being afraid of heights. He promises to win and take the briefcase. Then he hits on Renee a bit. Great.
Sometimes you have to slow down and smell the foot kicking you in the face.
– Teddy Long is in the ring with a whole lotta Divas for a contract signing between AJ Lee and Kaitlyn. AJ notes that no one cared about the Diva division until she won the title (sadly true). AJ is cut off from her rant by Long to shut up and sign the contract. AJ continues to berate Kaitlyn and lists off her messages to her secret admirer which buries Natalya, The Funkadactyls, and further cyber bullying. AJ attempts to use this to manipulate Kaitlyn into backing down. Nope. Kaitlyn drops the “C” word, gets a smack from AJ. So Kaitlyn shoves the table and AJ seated on the other side into the corner of the ring trapping her!! Then she proceeds to pummel the shit out of her, until Biggie Smalls pulls her off the table. Wow! That was surprisingly entertaining and awesome. Well, I’ll be damned. I’m more interested in that than anything I’ve seen tonight.
Give the guy a break, he’s dead after all.
– * Fandango vs. Wade Barrett. Another match I could give a shit about. I’ll watch it, that’s part of the deal. But not with my FULL attention. What to say here… hmm… Coulter is on commentary with Swagger and Cesaro standing looking on. Team Rhodes Scholars comes out and starts yelling at them, this distracts Barrett, and Fandango rolls up Barrett for the win. Wow.
It’s not his fault.
– Clips of the Bray Wyatt family debut on RAW. Great stuff, loved the segment. Hated the “Husky Harris” chants, but fuck those smarks. They’re probably the same pricks online complaining about the WWE not making new stars. Good job, fuckwads.
– * Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara. Why? Blue lights last seconds, fortunately, since most people hate those. Sin Cara starts heavy and hard on the offensive, and is surprisingly awesome, but that’s because it’s Dolph Ziggler under the mask. The announcers act the fool, but last time I checked, Sin Cara doesn’t have blond hair. EXCUSE ME! The fuck? Vickie is back shrieking about being fired, and that Teddy Long should be fired for this. I think, I can’t understand her. Teddy Long makes his way out. “On Monday Night, Stephanie McMahon had two words for you: You’re fired. Well, tonight I have one word for you: Security!”. She is escorted from the arena, and lord knows how in storyline mode she actually was allowed into the building. Oh well, that was surprisingly fun. Next up? Yawn.
Not so fast fella, Goat powers include amazing agility and speed.
– Teddy Long walks up to Sin Cara asking him why he’s here, thinking it was Dolph Ziggler. Then Ziggler jumps into the shot, thanking Long for the night off. Shenanigans involving Ziggler and Sin Cara? Weird. Just plain weird.
App? App? App?
– * Sheamus vs. Randy Orton (Fandango Classic Rematch!). Fuck this. Remember WHY the fans started doing the dance on the RAW after WM29? Because, this. I FFW through all of this. Until the end when Daniel Bryan runs out, pulls a ladder from beneath the ring and uses it to hit both the robot and the yogurt simultaneously. He then proceeds to go for the briefcase (for some reason), but Sheamus thwarts him. Then Christian runs in, more thwarting, but is reverse thwarted. Another reverse thwart. Daniel Bryan pushes the ladder over, tossing Captain Charisma to the outside, attempts to climb, Nope! Randall Keith Orton Cheeseburger’s the Goat and climbs for the fake MitB contract. Orton gets it, but IT MEANS NOTHING! He stares at it intensely, possibly wondering why the hell this is the end of the show.
I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.
Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet
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WTF?
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When will Joe noticed I changed this section? Maybe on BWF Radio, this Sunday at 2 PM EST? Which Sunday?
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Shameless Plugs!
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G fails to appear for the first half of the show, leaving the rest of the crew to wonder whether or not the 75 week appearance streak would end. JT fills in for him in his absence while we relive what happened on wrestling television this week. After the break song, picked by Jorge, G returns for the news, as Joe defends himself from Ustream commenters insisting he does whatever WWE tells him to do. It’s a claim Joe denies despite tweeting while watching the WWE App during SmackDown on Friday. In the news, we hear of Hogan’s horrific injury, mourn the loss of Hector Garza, and get a detailed report from our dear friend Benson about the fan brawl during RAW. Find out what happens when you call Bully Ray a “mediocre athlete.” Has WWE been reading BWF? Joe ponders this as news of an animated Flintstones movie featuring WWE stars makes it’s way through the offices. Meanwhile, the crew attempts to uncover the identity of the mysterious “Mavenfan.” Tune in!
BoredWrestlingFan Radio live moves to Ustream with Episode 75. Jorge is absent, leaving Joe, G, and JT to their own devices. Wrestling television, including WWE Extreme Rules, is talked about. That Damn Double C chimes in on some of the news via infiltration of our internal documents. The Daily Show reveals why G’s SmackDown reviews are always so… entertaining. In the news, we find out what Sunny was up to during her time in jail. We find out if there really are any political aspirations for Kane. We tell you where you can watch Bret Hart Appreciation night after RAW. We tell you what happened when Jerry “The King” Lawler returned to the ring after his heart attack. Who is Suicide? Where are the released NXT talents? How is The Rock? All this and much more on BoredWrestlingFan Radio!
Yup. Just like the Thursday show is called “Superstars”
This week, G’s ass has ripples and JT’s been pretty clogged, while Jorge laughs maniacally and Joe eats brains. Or something like that. Then we put the whole thing through Gizoogle, biatch. RAW recap, Main Event mania, and SmackDown synopsis, followed by some Iron Sheik goodness and the news! When will we see Punk again? Which WWE Hall of Famer almost backed out of the induction ceremony? Who were the WWE Eurocontinental Champions? Why am I asking you? We obviously know the answers, and you can hear us stumble over them by clicking the link below!
Big E, Big E, Big E, can’t you see, sometimes your fists accidentally hit me?
Fandangoing spills over into BWF Radio, as our own ThinkSoJoE was in the crowd at the IZOD Center this past Monday. Joe, along with JT, G, and Jorge discuss the poor quality of this year’s WrestleMania, leading Joe to make an interesting offer to World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. It’s explained why Mike Chioda got the first chant during the Sheamus/Orton match on RAW. We ponder who was controlling the temperature on Thursday’s IMPACT, and do away with Sign Guy during the reading of G’s SmackDown review, for some reason. Rick is still very much alive and well, as far as we know. Iron Sheik tweets are handled by JT, and we find out why Rock, Brock, and Punk were all missing from RAW in the news. Plus, for episode 69, That Damn Double C brings us some Bloodhound Gang in our musical break. All this and MUCH more, on BWF Radio!
This is it! BoredWrestlingFan’s WrestleMania week is in full swing, which kicked off with the WrestleMania 29 prediction podcast. My contribution to WrestleMania week this year will be reviews of the first six WrestleMania events, starting yesterday with 1985′s WrestleMania, and finishing up Saturday with a review of WrestleMania VI. And don’t forget to tune in to BoredWrestlingFan Radio this Sunday at 2PM Eastern as I will be reporting LIVE from Met Life Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ, the site of WrestleMania XXIX!
Wow. WrestleMania 2. I often say that the first thing I ever remember seeing in professional wrestling was a promo that Hulk Hogan cut prior to this show, talking about how he’s going to get that big dude (King Kong Bundy) in a cage at WrestleMania. I don’t remember anything else between that time and WrestleMania V, but when I finally started following pro wrestling religiously, my uncle handed down some old WWF Magazines, one of which was a recap of this particular show. I have seen the show before, but that was decades ago, and I was just a kid back then, so this will be another great experience for me on this year’s proverbial Road to WrestleMania.
Well, I have a better idea today than I did when I started yesterday about how I’m going to cover this show. It’ll be mostly straightforward, unless I see a blatant opportunity for some wildly outlandish thing a la G’s SmackDown reviews. Let’s go!
This is it! BoredWrestlingFan’s WrestleMania week is in full swing, kicking off with yesterday’s WrestleMania 29 prediction podcast. My contribution to WrestleMania week this year will be reviews of the first six WrestleMania events, starting today with 1985’s WrestleMania, and finishing up Saturday with a review of WrestleMania VI. And don’t forget to tune in to BoredWrestlingFan Radio this Sunday at 2PM Eastern as I will be reporting LIVE from Met Life Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ, the site of WrestleMania XXIX!
I would like to preface this review by stating that I have NEVER watched this first WrestleMania before. I’ve seen every other WrestleMania, but this is the very first time I’m watching this one. So, this should be an interesting experience, especially considering how much the business has changed over the last 28 years. As G would say, it’s hopping time!
I will warn you – I haven’t decided whether or not to take this seriously, or if I would rather do the standard goofball stuff that you regularly see on G’s SmackDown reviews here on BWF. We’ll figure it out as we go along.
