Twitter’s @DCsPeoplesChamp is in the Verizon Center as I type this, and tweeting from the show. I’m not watching, actually, but that’s because The Simpsons are on. Why can’t these companies have their PPVs on a night when nothing else is on, like a Saturday? Anyways, I digress…
World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho (Triple Threat Match):
JT: Jericho over Undertaker & Big Show
Drowgoddess: Undertaker wins. Either Jericho or Show will cost the other the win, and they’ll continue to fall apart as a tag team. Taker’s not losing anything at this point.
ThinkSoJoE: I think we all know who’s prying that belt from the cold, dead hands of The Undertaker – and it’s not Chris Jericho or The Big Show. Somebody had a feud over the World Heavyweight Championship with The Undertaker that never had a proper finish, and he just turned heel. Expect ‘Taker to walk out with the gold in tact.
Rey Mysterio vs. Batista
JT: Batista eats Mysterio then gets injured
Drowgoddess: Batista wins. ‘Nuff said.
ThinkSoJoE: I don’t think it’s so much a question of who is going to win, but more of if this match is going to live up to the buildup. Batista made Rey sign a hold-harmless agreement – Since I’m pretty confident The Animal is taking this one, he’d better leave Mysterio half dead in the center of the ring.
Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, & Christian) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase Jr. , CM Punk, & William Regal) :Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match:
JT: Team Orton over Team Kingston
Drowgoddess: This is a tough call. I really don’t care about the teams as a whole, but I’m a tremendous fan of both Kofi Kingston and CM Punk. I’m essentially chosing between them. I’ll go with Team Kofi to win, as Punk has not been the same since his World title loss to Undertaker. Neither he nor the team of which he is a part will win here.
ThinkSoJoE: Randy Orton’s got a reputation to uphold. He’s been the sole survivor a few times at the Survivor Series, so I’m kind of leaning towards that happening here. Orton will stand alone and still manage to win.
Team Morrison (John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, & Finlay) vs. Team Miz (The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger) : Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match
JT: Team Morrison over Team Miz
Drowgoddess: Why is this ppv sounding so much like the “Twilight” movies? Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team This, Team That. At least these guys don’t sparkle in sunlight. With the possible exception of Sheamus. Like anyone’s going to tell him! In any case, despite the level of fandom I have for both Morrison and Bourne, I’m going with Team Miz to win here. Sheamus and McIntyre are absolute BEASTS, Swagger and Ziggler can play the technical game, and The Miz is simply awesome.
ThinkSoJoE: Miz beat Morrison at Bragging Rights – Morrison should get his revenge here. The way I see it, Morrison can pin The Miz here, and then maybe they run into – and eliminate – each other at the Royal Rumble setting up a WrestleMania match. For what it’s worth, I also see Team Miz imploding and costing themselves the match.
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels (Triple Threat Match)
JT: Cena over D-X, yeah I said it.
Drowgoddess: *YAWN* I so don’t care. Honestly, I’m not being smarky, I sincerely don’t care the slightest little bit about this match or who wins it. Considering what I predicted in the World title 3-way above, HBK steals a win from underneath HHH, and the DX split takes front and center.
ThinkSoJoE: I’m going to get heat for this, I know it – but Shawn Michaels is the best professional wrestler in the world today. It’s been years since HBK had a title run, and I’d love to see it happen here, but since this match was just randomly thrown together by two guys who turn left for a living and a leprechaun, I’m fully expecting Cena to win.
Team Mickie (Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Melina, & Gail Kim) vs. Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, & Layla) :Traditional Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match
JT: F@^& the Divas Match
Drowgoddess: Another yawner for me, since I have no interest in nailing any of these women. I love Beth Phoenix, and she’s so much better than this, but I’m choosing Team Mickie. Mickie, Gail Kim, and, to a lesser extent, Melina, can actually wrestle. Plus, I live for the day that Michelle McCool gets hit by an 18-wheeler hauling toxic waste. Don’t mistake that for heel heat. She’s not that good. It’s “get off my tv and out of my world” heat.
ThinkSoJoE: So wait, let me see if I’ve got this right. Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, and Layla all got into this match, but Natalya, one of the few women on the roster who can actually wrestle, didn’t? Who books this crap? My prediction is half the audience gets up and goes to use the restroom during this one.
I should’ve done this when I re-watched the show, but since I didn’t, here’s the quick results of WWE Survivor Series 2008.
Team HBK defeated Team JBL. Your sole survivors: HBK, Rey Mysterio, & The Great Khali. I’ve always hated when there’s more than one person left on the winning team, and they call them “Sole Suvivors.” That’s like naming a band “The Lone Rangers.” Isn’t that right, cast of Airheads?
Team RAW Divas defeated Team SmackDown Divas. Your sole survivor: Beth Phoenix. Maryse put on a pretty strong showing in this one.
The Undertaker defeated The Big Show in a casket match. In a unique finish, Show destroyed the first casket, but when a second casket was brought out, he stood it up on it’s side. The Undertaker whipped Show into it, sending it crashing to the ground with Show inside, the lid closing behind him.
Team Orton defeated Team Batista. Your sole survivors: Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes. Orton blind tagged Rhodes when Batista had him up for a Batista Bomb. The Legend Killer dropped the unsuspecting Batista with an RKO for the victory.
Edge defeated Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov in a triple threat match to win the WWE Championship. Yes, you read that right, Edge won the WWE Championship. Storyline wise, Jeff Hardy was assaulted in his hotel and rendered unable to compete in the match. The match started off as a singles match between Triple H and Vladimir Kozlov. After a hard fought fight, Triple H dropped Kozlov with a Pedigree, though he was too out of it to make the cover. Vickie Guerrero game out on the stage and announced that it’s going to be a triple threat after all, because “he’s here!” “He” turned out to be Edge, who came out and speared Triple H. Before he could make the cover though, Jeff Hardy came out and attacked him. Hardy swung with a chair, missing Edge and connecting with The Game, followed by a shot for the Moscow Mauler. When he went to swing for Edge, he ate a spear instead. Edge covered Triple H for the three and won the WWE Championship!
John Cena def. Chris Jericho to win the World Heavyweight Championship. After the match, Cena celebrated with his family in the crowd before walking up the ramp triumphant as the new World Heavyweight Championship.
Looks like we’ve got a good week of WWE programming in store for us this week!