Tag Archive: Sushi

  1. RAW 1.31.11

    5 Comments

    Hello everyone, and welcome to coverage of the longest running weekly e-Nevermind. I wanted to sound all epic, but the voice in my head was Cole’s, and now I need brain bleach.  Oh, and if you are on Twitter, @Niki_Sushi is a liar.  Just so you all know. *wink!*

    Anyway, this is an exciting RAW (I hope!) because it’s the RAW after the Royal Rumble!  Who outlasted thirty-nine other men to be the winner of the first ever Forty Man Royal Rumble match?!  And who walked out of the Royal Rumble WWE Champion?  All those answers, and more, to come right now!

    Tonight, we will have another Champion vs Champion match between World Heavyweight Champion Edge and WWE Champion, The Miz!

    We start out RAW with Ricardo Rodriguez announcing Alberto del Rio.  I believe he says something about a mariachi performance in celebration of Alberto del Rio’s victory.  And that’s what happens.  Ricardo leads them to the ring.  Wait, is the mariachi band playing Alberto’s theme song?  That’s great.

    Rio takes the mic, silences the mariachi band, and says that his name is Alberto del Riooooooo!… but you already know that.  You people never, never listen.  He told us that it was his destiny to win the Royal Rumble, but we didn’t listen.  That’s our problem.  We never listen.  (as the crowd yells What?)  Tonight, we are going to celebrate Alberto del Rio.  He’s going to headline Wrestlemania!  Even if we don’t’ deserve it, because it’s a blue collar town, he hired the best mariachi in Mexico.  This mariachi only plays for the Mexican president and Rio.  This is not Justin Bieber’s music, this is real music.  I concur.  Anyway, he has something else really important to tell us:  As the winner of the Royal Rumble, he can choose who he’s going to face at Wrestlemania: WWE Champion or the World Heavyweight Champion, and he has made his decision.  And he’s going to tell us right now!  The championship he will be going after at Wrestlemania will be the-

    AWESOME!

    WWE Champion The Miz comes out, Alex Riley in toe.

    Miz says before Alberto makes his decision, he wants to say congratulations.  Him winning the biggest Royal Rumble in the history, is impressive.  Almost as impressive as The Miz’s winning against Randy three times after winning Money in the Bank.  He just hopes that Rio chooses to face him.  Miz says make no mistake about it, he’ll be the WWE Champion by the time Wrestlemania comes around.  He can’t say the same about Edge, because he’s going to lose it at the Elimination Chamber.  Last night, Miz saw Edge celebrating.  He told everyone who would listen that he was going to embarrass Rio at Wrestlemania and mocking his accent, and his tie.  Edge even said that Rio’s cars are all rental.  Miz says that if he doesn’t believe Miz, he can ask Riley.  Riley said that he gives Rio his word: Edge said he has no respect for a second-rate JBL meets Tito Santana.

    Rio takes the mic and says that he knows Miz, and to him, this is a ploy to make him choose Edge instead of Miz.  Is Miz lying to him?  Miz says really?  Really?  Really?  Listen, he took out Edge’s little buddy Christian.  Edge is threatened, doesn’t like, and doesn’t respect Rio.  He just thought he’d tell Rio the truth about Edge, talking behind his back.

    You think you know me…

    As Edge gets in, he plays one of the mariachi trumpets, and the guy laughs.

    Edge says Alberto, Miz is right.  He’s absolutely right.  He doesn’t like or respect Rio.  But, he’s wrong about one thing.  He wouldn’t say those things behind his back, he’d come out and say them to his face.  See, Edge will be champion at Wrestlemania, and if Rio chooses to face him, he will beat him.  He will because he’s the Rrrrrated R Superstarrrr.  But, you already knew that, didn’t you?

    Rio says that the only think he knows is that it is his destiny to be the greatest of the great and at Wrestlemania he will be the new World Heavyweight Champion.  Edge says congratulations, and to take this with you.  He then hits Rio, and looks at Miz, who leaves the ring with the mariachi, who are not going to lose their instruments.  Rio comes back and kicks Edge before grabbing a guitar, which he then breaks on Edge’s back, before locking in the cross-arm breaker.  Edge appears to be tapping, but there’s no ref, no match, and Alberto finally lets go.

    Ha. The mariachi were playing his theme!! I’m like… 95% sure.

    Coming up, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov will take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi OKay. Del Rio dissed the Biebtard. He’s not as obnoxious in my mind now. #BWF #RAW

    @JonHexLives I kind of want to see The Miz vs, Alberto Del Rio in a faux hawk throwdown. #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @seraphalexiel Alberto will be pissed if Edge loses the belt at the Elimination Chamber…..

    @CMPunkSays Del Rio: “You never listen!” Crowd: “WHAT?!” #CantMakeThisShitUp #WWE

    @StrikerSays LOLOLOL, “Alberto Pendejo” sign! I like that they are in RI, so obviously the arena staff didn’t know what it meant, and didn’t confiscate.

    “Tonight, for the first time ever, we’re going to have a RAW Rumble match.  Seven Superstars will participate. T he winner of the RAW Rumble match, will go on to face the WWE Champion at the Elimination Chamber PPV. The remaining six will be in the Elimination Chamber itself.  The participates in the RAW Rumble match are Randy Orton, CM Punk, John Morrison, R-Truth, Sheamus, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and John Cena.”

    WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina vs Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty for the WWE Tag Team Championships

    Marella and McGuillicutty start out, and Santino gets McGuillicutty on the ground before locking in a headlock on McGuillicutty, who runs him into the corner.  Santino lets go, but McGuillicutty hits him with a couple of punches and a kick before being forced off by the ref.  He then runs to jump on Santino, but Santino move sand tags in Kozlov.  Kozlov powers McGuillicutty right into the corner, hitting him with some hard shoulders, before McGuillicutty goes after his knee then kicks him in the head.  McGuillicutty keeps him on the ropes before tagging Harris in.  Harris keeps him in the corner, then Kozlov pushes him off before Kozlov gets him down and goes for a cover, but Harris kicks out.  Kozlov powers Harris over to his own corner and tags in Santino.  Santino does something, but Harris shoves him across the ring and then kicks him.  Harris then spends his time getting Santino up, and Santino tries to Whip him, but Husky counters, and meets Santino’s offense with a shoulder.  Harris shoves Santino in the corner, tags in McGuillicutty, and then throws McGuillicutty into Santino, followed by Harris.  McGuillicutty goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out.  Something happens, but the replay is too big-there we go.  McGuillicutty hits a neckbreaker and goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out at two.  Santino is thrown out by McGuillicutty, and Tamina goes over to check on him.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 YES! Jerry The King Lawler…one more time in the Raw Rumble! …but how did R-Truth get on that list? #RAW #WWE #BWF

    @CMPunkSays By the way, you are now imagining Jerry Lawler in the Elimination Chamber. #WWE

    @HitTheRopes R-Truth? What the phuck? It doesn’t need to be an equal opportunity chamber! #wwe

    @KeepItFiveStar R-TRUTH?! R-TRUTH!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE HASN’T WON A MATCH IN LIKE A MONTH!

    @Niki_Sushi ‘Ruthless’ is glitterfied on McGillicutty’s ass. I can no longer take him seriously. #BWF #RAW

    We come back to McGuillicutty trying to pin Santino for the cover.  McGuillicutty has Santino in a headlock across the ring from Kozlov, and Santino fights to get to Kozlov, but McGuillicutty is trying to keep him back.  They both get to their feet, but McGuillicutty hits a hard forearm on Santino.  McGuillicutty tries to hit Kozlov, but Kozlov hits back, and Santino gets a hit on McGuillicutty.  Harris and Kozlov are tagged in and Kozlov dominates Harris, going for a cover until McGuillicutty breaks it up.  McGuillicutty this a missile dropkick and Santino tags himself in, sending McGuillicutty over the top rope.  Santino then hits the Cobra on Harris and pins him for the win.

    WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall.

    After the match, Randy runs down the ramp out of nowhere and RKOs McGuillicutty and Harris for costing him the title last night.  He looks up toward the ramp before walking around inside the ring and facing the ramp.  Orton looks off to the side and takes a moment to glare at the crowd before looking at Harris’ unconscious body.  He looks down at Harris and backs away, standing in the corner, watching Harris, setting up for the punt.

    CM Punk, however, interrupts.

    He tells Randy not to do that as he, Otunga, and Mason Ryan come out.  Punk tells him again not to do it.  Punk says that Orton doesn’t want to do this, nothing he wants to be a part of.  It’s nothing he would do.  Punk asks if he has to say please, and Randy look like he could care less if Punk says please.  Punk says he’s not going to beg, but take some advice, for once in his life: Don’t do it.  If Orton kicks Harris in the skull, there will be serious consequences and repercussions.  Orton really doesn’t look like he cares, and Harris is teasing us about getting the fuck up.  Randy stops, however, and looks back at Punk.  He then moves out of that position, hangs his head, and looks back at Punk.  He looks to the crowd, who cheers (sick bastards), and then back at Harris, and then the other side of the arena, then back at Punk.  He smirks, laughs, drops it, and then drops back in the corner, punting Harris in the skull.

    Punk, Otunga, and Ryan all take off after him, but Randy slithers on out, running through the crowd and up to the top, rather nicely silhouetted against the darkness there.  There is a staring match between Punk and Orton now, as Orton’s music plays.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 Randy won’t cave to an implied threat from CM Punk! Don’t worry, Mulligans have HARD heads! #RAW #WWE #BWF

    @KeepItFiveStar Why can’t Randy Orton just talk it out with people? It’s always RKOs with him

    @CMPunkSays NOT Have you ever herped a derp so hard that you jobbed to the Cobra? #WWE

    @ForrestFuller Why not punt Micheal Cole instead of Husky Harris #WWE #RAW #BWF

    Ted DiBiase is joined by Maryse, still, and has a mic.  This’ll be good.

    Ted says that it doesn’t thrill him to say it, but King’s career is over.  And his, his is just getting started.  King doesn’t need any more opportunities.  It’s time for guys like him to step aside for the future. So, why doesn’t he do the right thing, for the future, and give him his spot for tonight’s RAW Rumble?  King takes off his headset and grabs a mic, but Cole snatches it.  Cole says he’ll handle it.  Cole then says that Ted is being disrespectful.  Has Ted ever met King?  He’s a legend, a Hall of Famer.  He’s heard of the Showstopper, right?  King is the Scene Stealer.  There’s no way that he’s going to let his selfish, narcissistic ego take himself out of the match to give it to DiBiase.  It won’t happen.  King takes the mic and says he’s gonna tell both of them something: he’ snot giving his spot up in the RAW Rumble to anybody.  His Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction.  He’s been in the WWE 18 years, and he’s never been to Wrestlemania.  And, as far as he’s concerned, his Road to Wrestlemania starts tonight, and if it wasn’t for Cole, he may be WWE Champion right now.  He knows he can beat the Miz, and he’s gonna be in the RAW Rumble, and he’s gonna win it.  Ted then hits King and moves with Maryse.  King then follows Teddy, but Ted moves Maryse in front of him, preventing King from hitting Ted.  Maryse, on the other hand, is not amused.  Ted can’t think of a good enough excuse, so Maryse slaps him.  Then, King punches Ted.  Poor DiBiase’s having a bad night…  And Cole now lectures King, and King says he’s about to shove his fist so far down Cole’s throat they’ll be afraid to remove it.  He’s beginning to not care if he gets fired…

    Later on tonight, The Miz will take on Edge!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @KeepItFiveStar Maryse with the Princess Peach slap then Jerry Lawler with the Falcon Punch! Ted DiBiase just got Melee’d!

    @TKeep123 Love me some Maryse! Looking even HOTTER, if that’s possible!! #RAW #WWE #BWF

    @KeepItFiveStar Even R-Truth’s photo looks like he doesn’t belong in the RAW Rumble. It’s like “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Lawler, I guess. And REALLY??”

    @kickoutblog FALCON PAAAWWWWNNNNNCH!

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: 2.21.11  Something is coming up…. All we saw was a man in black walking up to a shack in the rain…>

    United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs Tyson Kidd

    The Bellas are talking, but I don’t’ care.  Bryan and Kidd are fighting, Gail ringside, and Kidd gets a good early advantage.  Does anyone remember when he had that big guy?  Me neither.  Kidd goes for a quick cover, but Bryan kicks out two.  Kidd puts Bryan in a headlock, but Bryan shoves him off and does a lot of really fancy things.  Bryan delivers some hard hits to Kidd, and the camera keeps going to the FUCKING BELLAS, Kidd does some stuff, Bryan tries to lock in the LaBell lock, does, and Kidd taps out.

    United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via pinfall.

    Gail hugs Bryan and joins him in his celebration before the Bellas climb into the ring.  One of them hits Bryan, Gail shoves her, and insert the same freaking cat fight we’ve seen for too long already.  It takes two refs holding the Bellas, and Bryan holding Gail to break it up.

    Up next, The Miz and Edge will go one on one!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @CMPunkSays IT’S LIKE I’M REALLY WATCHING MEAN GIRLS #WWE

    @Niki_Sushi I think Gail just ripped out some extensions and killed a bird. #BWF #RAW #justoneleft

    @kickoutblog I already love 2.21.11, WWE hasn’t done anything like this since Jericho’s return.

    @redsandman99 How can anyone blame Daniel Bryan for choosing Gail over the Bellas. I’d punt those bitches Orton style for her

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Last night, WWE Champion The Miz eliminated John Cena.>

    I saw people in the front row with four signs spelling out AWESOME.  Loved it.

    WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge

    Miz and Edge lock up, and shove one another away.  Then they lock up again, and Edge locks Miz in a headlock, but Miz fights out and gets an elbow to the face, followed by one by the back of the head.  Edge Whips Miz, but Miz counters and Edge counters with a neckbreaker.  Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out.  Edge beats Miz into a corner and hits him a few times.  The replay is starting to piss me off.  Edge has an advantage over Miz, pulling him in a headlock between the ropes.  Edge Whips Miz, who is pulled out of the ring by Riley.  Edge grabs him, but Miz drops Edge’s shoulder onto the top rope.  He pulls Edge out of the ring and sends him into the steel steps.  Miz pulls Edge to his feet and throws him back in the ring, going for a cover.  Edge kicks out at two.  Miz plants his knee in Edge’s spine before twisting himself around Edge and putting his injured arm in a submission.  Edge fights to his feet and punches Miz in the head, but Miz drops down, essentially giving Edge’s arm a stunner before going for a cover, but Edge kicks out.  Miz then puts Edge’s shoulder through the ropes, and Riley punches Edge.  Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out, so Miz returns to a submission on Edge’s shoulder.  Edge fights to his feet, and punches Miz a few times, but Miz puts his knee in Edge’s stomach.  Edge returns the favor by putting his heel in Miz’ jaw.  Edge then starts to do something, but Miz counters, dropping Edge to the mat, and returning to the submission on Edge’s shoulder.  Edge fights to the bottom rope.

    Space!  Miz goes to hit Edge, but Edge fights back and tries to steal a victory, but Miz fights out.  Edge and Miz meet, and then Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out.  Miz sends Edge’s arm right back to the mat, then puts his knee in Edge’s shoulder and stretches the arm out.  Edge fights out of it, and Whips Miz, but Miz kicks Edge, and then the two kick one another in the face.  The ref begins his count.  Miz is up to his feet, as is Edge at eight.  Miz runs for Edge, but Edge drops him on his face.  Edge then drops Miz again, and Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out.  Edge kicks Miz in the stomach and then Whips him, but Miz counters,.  Edge goes for another cover, but Edge kicks out, and then Miz kicks Edge in the face, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out.  Miz gets on the apron and climbs up on the top rope, standing up and dropping down, only to get a boot to the stomach.  Edge then drops Miz on his face.  Edge backs up into the opposite corner, setting up for the Spear.  Miz gets up to his feet, and Edge tries for the Spear, but Miz sends him into the post.

    John Cena says that Miz can do it and says there’s a party, and that they’re just cheering for him.  Miz starts to talk to him, and Cena gets the arena doing a Miz is Awful chant, before Edge Spears Miz.

    World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @CMPunkSays FALL IN A HOLE, CENA. A DEEP HOLE. A HOLE THAT REACHES THE EARTH’S CORE. #WWE

    @bethsharae Stupid Cena…you got the chant wrong. It’s Miz is Awesome! #Raw

    @kickoutblog Once again, the “good guys” cheat to win. Edge with an illegal move and Cena interfered! Should be a DQ win for Miz!

    Stone Cold Steve Austin will return to WWE to host Tough Enough in April!

    I’m feeling like this is a Smackdown invasion again…

    Vickie Guerrero comes out and says that while Edge may have won tonight, but his chances of winning Friday are next to impossible.  Friday, the World Heavyweight Championship will be defended in a way that it never has been before, so please join them.  Whatever.  Oh, hell, it’s our Surprise Champion!

    WWE Diva’s Champion Eve and Natalya vs LayCool

    Really, Natalya?  I wouldn’t have tagged with her.  Tell her to find someone else.  Oh, wait, there is no one else…  For the first time ever, I’m so sick of Eve and Natalya, I want LayCool to win.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Earlier today, LayCool decide that it was the ref’s fault about last night, and make up.  Damn it.>

    Natalya and McCool start out and Natalya goes for an early cover, followed by another, but McCool pulls out.  Natalya keeps an advantage over McCool until McCool gets away and tags in Layla.  Natalya walks toward Layla, who drops to the mat and curls up.  Natalya touches her and she squirms.  Natalya then picks her up and she gets onto her feet and pushes Natalya.  Layla then runs over and attaches herself to McCool between the ropes, and turns around to get a kick from Natalya.  Natalya suplexes her, and goes for the cover, but Layla kicks out.  Natalya Whips Lay, and then Eve clotheslines her.  Eve finally actually does something, and hits a handspring moonsault before going for a cover and Layla kicks out.  Layla kicks Eve, and Eve runs her across the ring and onto the top turnbuckle.  Natalya distracts the ref, and McCool kicks Eve.  Layla hits the Face Lift off the turnbuckle and pins Eve for the win.

    LayCool win via pinfall.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 Michelle’s boot seems to have knocked some accent BACK into Layla’s mouth! #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @Niki_Sushi Goddamn you, RAW. I don’t want LayCool. I just want Lay. Cool can go hang out with Cole and Del Rio in the corner. #BWF #RAW

    @kickoutblog “Your big foot” = LOL

    OH MAH GOODNESS! IT’S THE GIANT JOBBER SQUAD!

    The Great Khali and Mark Henry vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso

    Oh, well.  No matter who wins, this is kind of humiliating…  Josh Matthews has joined Michael Cole as King has gone to get ready for his match.

    “As I see the Usos stand across the ring from the Great Khali and the WSM, let’s face it: they don’t have a chance.  So, to give the Usos a more competitive advantage, I’ve decided to alter the contest, and these two teams will compete in a dance off.  Each team will have the opportunity to strut their stuff, and you, the WWE Universe will have the chance to decide who is the winner. Gentlemen, let’s boogie, woogie, woogie.”

    I hate. The. GM.

    You know what? I started to review this.  I don’t know why.  But now, I have a headache.  If the WWE Universe loves me, they will know that Khali and Henry can’t dance, and will accept that the Usos won.  I hate this. I HATE THI-

    That works. The Usos attack Khali and Henry, and then are met by a Punjabi Plunge and the World’s Strongest Slam, and Khali goes for a cover.  Poor thing.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @StrikerSays Sorry Usos, apparently the Bellas are the only ones with “twin magic.”

    @HitTheRopes Amazing that I was just defending Raw last night to someone who can’t stand WWE. Then we get a dance off. #LeSigh

    @KeepItFiveStar When The Usos smiled you could tell they died on the inside

    @FrankWWEClown I just threw up in my mouth watching Michael Cole dance. #WWE

    @TKeep123 Mark Henry rocking the Bollywood Dance??? Kill me now. #RAW #WWE #BWF

    @JonHexLives The Usos are straight jobbers now. #WWE #RAW #BWF

    The Shack/rain/leather person promo for 2.21.11 plays again.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: The world premiere of the trailer for The Chaperone.>

    YAY RAW HATES ME!

    RAW Rumble Match: Winner faces The Miz for the WWE Championship at Elimination Chamber, and the other Six will be in the RAW Elimination Chamber match.

    When thrown over the top rope, and both feet touch the floor (MORRISON), you lose.  I. Hate these kinds of things.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @seraphalexiel Kidnapping a wrestler’s loved one is apparently WWE films’ recipe for success

    @kickoutblog What is WWE’s obsession with dancing? Just put Kozlov on Dancing With The Stars and be done with it.

    @KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!

    @HitTheRopes JoMo and the ‘E would have been SO pissed if one of them fans got their hand in the way during that spot last night

    ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY

    1)      John Morrison – Sheamus

    2)      Sheamus – King and John Cena


    3)      John Cena – King

    4)      CM Punk – Randy Orton

    5)      R-Truth – John Cena

    6)      Jerry “The King” Lawler – WINNER

    7)      Randy Orton – R-Truth

    I can’t cover this very well, but I’ll give you the interesting stuff.  JoMo and Sheamus give us pretty good one-on-one wrestling action, same as their matches, really.  Sheamus hits the Irish Curse Backbreaker on JoMo and then freezes everything as Cena comes out.

    Cena comes in, obviously furious about being eliminated last night and takes it out on Sheamus.  Cena goes to hit an Attitude Adjustment, and Morrison manages to land on his feet instead of getting hit by it.

    Punk gets in and immediately cleans house, taking on anyone and everyone who gets in his way.  Punk and Morrison are clinging to the ropes like monkeys or something, but stay in.

    Truth comes in and immediately takes on his “friend” Cena.  What a shitty friend.  I’m just saying.  Truth and Morrison both nearly eliminate the other, but hang on, and Truth can’t get his black ass back in the ring.  He finally does, nearly costing Sheamus his chance to beat the shit out of him.

    Jerry runs out and Punk waited for him, and then King punches every-damn-body.  Three of the four corners have people getting ready to be dumped out.

    Punk runs out of the ring, under the bottom rope, when Randy hits the ring.  Randy’s looking for him.  And guesses where he is before getting into the ring, looking under the ring.  He wants Punk.  Orton grabs Punk’s ankle, yanks him out from under the ring and proceeds to beat the shit out of him.  Punk gets into the ring and then Randy follows, and finally enters the RAW Rumble.

    Punk was the first man eliminated, by Orton, followed right after by Orton, who was eliminated by Truth.  Truth nearly got venom spit in his face.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @KeepItFiveStar That’s why R-Truth doesn’t deserved to be in the damn match. He almost got eliminated by the ropes. He probably thinks Parkour is a dance

    @StrikerSays R-Truth doesn’t even RUN to the ring, he fucking SKIPS. He makes me want to punch unicorns.

    @Niki_Sushi Sheamus has his hand ALL the way up John’s ass. Cole 2.0? #BWF #RAW

    @TKeep123 Orton takes out Punk…and R-truth takes out Orton! Tooth is a dead man! :} #RAW #WWE #BWF

    Good news is, no one else was eliminated during the commercial.  Bad news is, I literally just saw King’s hands all over Truth’s ass.  Ew.

    King and Morrison are working together to try to get rid of Truth, but he won’t budge.  Cena grabs Truth and Morrison on his shoulders and goes to eliminate them both, but only manages to eliminate Truth.  Morrison gets Cena on the apron, and the two duke it out, both teetering on the edge.  Sheamus runs over and tries to clothesline them both, but they move, and Sheamus holds on, and JoMo starts slapping his damn hands.  Sheamus is responsible for Cena getting back in the ring.

    Morrison pulls another shit-tacular Parkour move and he hooks his ankles in the bottom rope and keeps himself fin the match.  Goes to eliminate Sheamus, but Sheamus catapults himself right onto Morrison.

    Cena puts Sheamus in an STF, and Sheamus taps.  Like a tard.

    Morrison hits Starship Pain, and literally only hits Cena with one arm.  What the fuck.

    King throws Morrison out, but he keeps himself in by touching the floor with his hands only.

    Morrison is out courtesy of a Brogue Kick from Sheamus.  Thanks, Sheamus.

    Sheamus throws King into Cena and eliminates Cena, and then Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, only for Cena and King to move the rope so that Sheamus eliminates himself.

    Sorry folks, this is Kiharu (@Niki_Sushi) typing at you, because TheMizMagnet is spitting flames at this end. So this is me saying good night, and thanks for reading this review! Tune in next week for…well, more RAW.

    @TheMizMagnet JSODGIJRPOWIGJPOIFJ PDOI APOI OSIDJFPOEWI POI A LVKJDPOI EW OAIJFDA OWIEWR *ragequits*

  2. RAW Tweeter of the Year Contest!

    5 Comments

    Okay, so I was thinking yesterday that it may be nice to do something for the end of the year to make it up to everyone who has tweeted repeatedly throughout the year to be mentioned in the RAW Review.  You all make it more entertaining to read, so why not give back to you?

    So, here’s all you have to do: Vote for your favorite RAW Tweeter in the poll below, then click Vote.  The voting will end December 31st, and I’ll tally up the votes.  What do you get if you win, you ask?  I will buy you a t-shirt from WWEShop.Com!  I’ll announce the winner on my Twitter (@TheMizMagnet), and then the winner needs to DM me so their address and what shirt they want, and their size!  That’s all it takes!  I picked the names based on who I have seen tweet more than once.  SO!  Vote away!!

    Who should be the RAW Tweeter of the Year?
    @kickoutblog
    @thinksojoe
    @Niki_Sushi
    @Lunna1969
    @TKeep123
    @KeepItFiveStar
    @HitTheRopes
    @WWEsAngel_Nef
    @ThingsColeSays
    pollcode.com free polls
  3. RAW 7.26.10

    2 Comments

    What’s up everyone?! I’m on vacation in Chicago with @Niki_Sushi, as a birthday present to us, but I’m still gonna review RAW!  No idea how well this is going to go, but I’m going to do my best, alright?  Why’m I still going to do this review?  No rest for the wicked.

    Now that Cena has gathered a team to do battle with Nexus at SummerSlam, how is the shift in balance going to play out on RAW?  And what about Mister Money in the Bank?  Is he going to cash in on RAW, or is he going to save his opportunity until he sees the champion down at SummerSlam??

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week: Nexus meets Team Cena.>

    BRRRRRRRRRRR MONKEY POO!!!!

    Cena makes his way to the ring. One day, he’ll realize that orange isn’t his color, I’m hoping.  And he stands there… and stands there… And says everything’s better in Texas.  Seven weeks ago, Nexus attacked and took over RAW with no warning.  Superstars, commentators, cameramen, the Chairman, Hall of Famers, no one was safe.  They did it for reasons only they knew.  The point is, if Nexus wanted you hurt, you got hurt.  Until last Monday.  RAW finally said they have had enough.  Friends and enemies stood side by side in the ring with one common goal: to beat Nexus at SummerSlam.  You will see that they are not invincible.  It’s about time, because the more they terrorize, the more power they get.  And with power comes great responsibili-I mean influence.  With more influence, they’ll start to take out the show. He’s not saying it’s going to be easy, he’s not Superman, he sees himself more as Aquaman.  Jericho and Edge aren’t Batman and Robin.  The idea of Khali walking around like Wonder Woman is just wrong.  Cena photoshopped it, and it was very very disturbing.  Every person on team Cena was chosen for a reason, and at SummerSlam-

    BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

    I love Jericho… especially in a tux.  Just sayin.

    Cena points out Jericho is on the SummerSlam team.  The crowd has a Y2J chant going, and Jericho looks a little confused.  He says that he was standing backstage, biding his time, counting the minutes until Cena said what Jericho knew he would say.  “My team.” “John Cena’s Team.”  All week long, people have been approaching Jericho, saying they’re happy he’s on Cena’s team, and has changed his ways.  Jericho wants to make something clear: He didn’t get involved to be a part of Cena’s team, to bask in the glory of a hero, or to shamelessly pander to a group of parasites.  He got involved because of his personal problems with Nexus and Barrett, a man he molded from the moment he first came into the company.  Jericho knows Barrett and Nexus, therefore he’s more qualified, and this is Jericho’s team.  Cena says fine, and the team is sold to Jericho, at a bargain price.  Call them whatever he wants.  He doesn’t care; he just wants to beat Nexus.  Jericho tells Cena not to patronize him.  He will be honest and clear: the team lives or dies by Jericho.  Cena knocks the mic out of Jericho’s hand, and Jericho looks ready to either run or smack a Sunkist bitch.

    Cena says it ain’t about Jericho.  It’s not about him.  It’s about the damn business.  Nexus has taken over the company.  Last week, they got Jericho, they got Cena, whatever they want.  Jericho loves the business, and that’s why they’re doing it.  Does Jericho understand what Cena is saying to him right now?  They have to co-exist.  Yes, he knows Barrett better than anyone.  Jericho is essential to the team.  Jericho picks up the mic again and tells Cena never to knock the mic out of his hand again.  Second of all, Jericho knows how essential he is.  More than that, he sees the big picture.  Nexus isn’t the only threat to the company.  The other threat is John Cena.  Because Cena is more like Nexus than he thinks.  He walks around, interrupting whoever he wants, doing what he wants to do.  The only difference is he does it with the support of the WWE Universe.  Jericho is warning Cena: As soon as Nexus is gone, he’s going to take the next logical step, and turn his sights on Cena.  He’ll either do it with his team’s help, or he’ll do it himself.  Cena says he’s standing right there, take your best shot.

    You’ve got mail!

    Cena threw his hat.  “Cena, Jericho.  Your match against the Nexus at SummerSlam will now be an Elimination Match.  The team that eliminates all the members of the opposing team first will be victorious.  And in a preview of SummerSlam, the Nexus will face seven RAW superstars in an elimination match tonight.  Your match at SummerSlam is all about teamwork.  Tonight, let’s see how you, John, and you, Chris, function as a team against opponents of my choosing.  And if you’re not down with that, I’ve got two words for you.”

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi The LOOK on @IAmJericho’s face is ‘I’m being cheered for. I do not approve.’ #BWF #RAW

    @SadieandCompany Good grief folks, hold onto your socks. HBK is not in the house tonight. Sigh… #WWE #BWF

    @RAWMysteryGM   I don’t trust Cole to get me food, it’ll probably be moldy. He loves the Vintage thing RT @Tommyspud: @RAWMysteryGM ‘Get me a pizza’

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Last week, R-Truth interrupts The Miz’ attempt to cash in Money in the Bank.>

    It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

    Sheamus makes his way to the ring, and Jerry says he is what the future of the WWE is all about.  He sits down next to Jerry Lawler.

    I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me…

    Randy Orton vs. Jey Uso with Jimmy Uso and Tamina

    Last week, Orton won a triple threat match between Jericho, himself, and Edge to get the title of Number One Contender for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam.

    Looks like the Usos are starting to really get up here if they get to fight Randy.  Anyway, I’m kind of interested in this match.  The two lock up, and Uso gets a hit to the face that takes him down.  Orton keeps the momentum, punching Uso in the side of the head before getting Uso under the bottom rope, and dropping him up into it.  Orton then pulls Uso to the apron by his hair.  Uso pulls Orton’s head down on the rope, however, and then manages to keep Orton down for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two.  He gets Orton in a headlock, but Orton stands up and powers out.  The two exchange blows before Orton gets the advantage with a couple of clotheslines, and then a scoop slam.  Jimmy Uso tries to help, but Orton gets him.  Orton then DDTs Jey off of the second rope, and Randy gets riled up, slamming on the mat, and hitting the RKO.  He goes for the cover, and secures a victory.

    Randy Orton wins via pinfall!

    Orton paid too much attention to Sheamus, and Jimmy Uso attacked him.  Orton begins to attack back, and Sheamus sneaks in.  Orton ducks an attempted kick to the face from Sheamus, and then RKO’s Sheamus.

    AWESOME!

    Miz runs out there with a referee behind him, and cashes in the Money in the Bank contract.

    The Miz vs WWE Champion Sheamus for the WWE Championship

    However, before the match can even begin, Randy RKOs The Miz, and it seriously looks like Randy just mouthed ‘mother FUCKER’.

    Edge is backstage, talking, saying he can’t wait for SummerSlam.  However, he wishes Ted was on his team instead of Khali.  Cena comes to Edge and says he has an unstoppable unit, but Khali?  Khali’s clumsy, uncoordinated, and not that bright.  Maryse says that they don’t understand him, but Edge doesn’t look like he understood her.  Ted says neither Khali nor Morrison deserve to be there.  Edge says if he has to, he’ll force Cena’s hand and take Khali out himself.  As he walks away, he passes Ranjin Singh.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123   …and this could go on for a year! :} RT @markjamesbrand: Poor Miz. Thwarted again.

    @Niki_Sushi ‘WWE’ is #9 trending in Chicago! #BWF #RAWSheamus and Miz are still in the ring, yelling at one another.

    You’ve got mail!

    “I found the team that will challenge Chris Jericho and John Cena tonight.  The United States Champion The Miz, and the WWE Champion Sheamus.”

    I just noticed, the briefcase is dented.  Probably from beating Sheamus in the head with it.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Honkytonk Man vs. Ultimate Warrior for the Intercontinental Championship.>

    Backstage, Edge is on the phone and Khali starts yelling at him.  Ranjin says he heard earlier what Edge said, and he told Khali.  Edge claims he never said that, and that he has nothing but the utmost respect for Khali.  Khali grumbles something, or spits it, and it apparently translated to Edge is a nincompoop, and challenges him to a match right now.  Khali manages to say: YOU! ME! NOW!, which is just plan dirty.  Edge says fine.  But if Edge wins, Khali is off the team.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @HitTheRopes “I received another manager from the general email.” — Michael Cole. LOL #WWE

    @RAWMysteryGM Cole screwed up my E-mail, I will replace him with Byron Saxton starting next week #WWE

    @Niki_Sushi Well, Edge is gonna get a Great Fist up his ass and a pinky and index through his eyeballs. #BWF #RAW

    The Great Khali vs. Edge

    Khali comes out, and everyone’s dancing, and I’m so sick of that dance it’s not even funny.  Lawler is gone because he’s going to be part of the seven-on-seven tag team elimination match later tonight.  I hope Striker comes back on commentary.

    Khali starts towards Edge, but Edge moves.  Edge is then thrown into a turnbuckle, and Khali licks his han- okay, not really.  He smacks Edge in the chest, and then manhandles him a bunch, throwing him into the opposite turn buckle.  Edge gets up and manages to punch Khali a couple times, and then Khali clotheslines him, trying a leg drop and missing as Edge rolls away.  Nexus makes their way out to the ring, and Edge climbs out of the ring, and into the crowd.  Nexus surrounds the ring.  Khali’s glaring at Nexus, and they make their way into the ring.  They move away, creating an opening for him by the ramp.  Khali cautiously gets out of the ring, and he backs up the ramp.

    Later tonight, it’s John Cena and Chris Jericho against United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus.  However, before that, it’s the seven-on-seven elimination match.  I saw Yoshi Tatsu, the Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, and Jerry Lawler.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @BrdWrstlngFn Why did the GM choose to torment us by having Michael Cole on commentary by himself?

    @HitTheRopes Dammit Edge, if you allowed the Nexus to beat you up, you would have won by DQ and Khali would have been off the team. #wwe

    Seven-on-Seven Tag Team Elimination Match
    Team RAW vs Team Nexus
    Yoshi Tatsu, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Goldust, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Mark Henry, and Evan Bourne vs. Darren Young, Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Michael Tarver, Heath Slater, Skip Sheffield, and David Otunga

    Tarver and Yoshi start out, and Tarver gets the upper hand, throwing Yoshi into the turnbuckle.  Tatsu runs at him, but Tarver scoop slams him, and eliminates him.

    Yoshi Tatsu Eliminated by Michael Tarver.

    Evan Bourne takes over against Tarver, and Tarver keeps an advantage, tagging in Justin Gabriel.  Tarver was holding Bourne back, but Bourne used it to his advantage.  He then tagged in Lawler.  Lawler goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out at two.  Barrett pulls Gabriel out, and they begin to work out a plan.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @seraphalexiel Why did Tyson send Nattie to the back? She can handle the Nexus. And I don’t like seeing Jerry in the ring

    @Niki_Sushi ‘VINTAGE LAWLER!’ You know what’ll be vintage? Your life when I figure out how to morph through TVs, Cole. Wait for it. #BWF #RAW

    @SadieandCompany Love Jerry Lawler’s “Wonder Woman” outfit! He’s still fabulous!! #WWE #BWF

    @ IAmJHPunk Dammit Bourne vs Gabriel would have been great! #wwe #raw #bwf

    Jerry Lawler was eliminated during the break by Heath Slater, which is sad, but oh well.  Tyson Kidd is in the ring now, and Heath Slater is taking a beating.  The ref gets Tyson off Heath, and then tags in David Hart Smith.  Smith kept him up in the air for a while before finally dropping him in a suplex, and then went for the cover, but Slater kicked out at two.  Smith keeps the advantage, getting Slater down in the corner before Irish Whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle.  Slater gets up on the top rope, and Smith gets distracted by Gabriel.  Slater hits Smith from behind, and eliminates him.

    David Hart Smith eliminated by Heath Slater.

    Goldust is in now, and Slater get s quick advantage, but Goldust hits a shoulder block before slapping Slater around.  Slater tags in Otunga.  Goldust gets momentum, but Young holds his ankle and lets Otunga get an opportunity.

    Goldust eliminated by David Otunga.

    Mark Henry comes in and lifts Otunga before dropping him.  Henry then throws Otunga into the turnbuckle, and Slater is tagged in.  Slater is thrown around by Henry, who then hurls him across the ring again.  Slater then tags in Young, who is clotheslined as soon as he comes in.  Henry then hits a boot that actually hurts both me and @Niki_Sushi.  Sheffield comes in and the two get in a yelling match for a minute.  Sheffield then hits some blows on Henry, before going for his clothesline.  Henry then drops him with a suplex, I think, and then again.  He then throws Gabriel into the ring, before running right into him in the turn buckle.  Turns out Henry forgot about Sheffield, who hits him with his spear-like clothesline.

    Mark Henry eliminated by Skip Sheffield.

    Only Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne are left.  Sheffield ran at them, and they both kicked him before Kidd went in.  Kidd then was clotheslined in mid air. Sheffield tags in Young, who hits Kidd.

    Tyson Kidd eliminated by Darren Young.

    Wade Barrett comes in and runs at Evan.  Evan then attacks everyone he can, but Wade gets him and drops him.  Wade goes for the cover, and it’s over.

    Team Nexus wins, seven to nothing.

    Evan’s still lying in the ring, and they get him up, as usual, and then run him right into Sheffield’s Spear-Clothesline.  Otunga then lifts Evan, and then drops him.  As Evan lies there, Justin gets up on the top rope, hitting the 450 Splash.

    Barrett gets the mic, and says that what they just saw was an act of total domination.  The Nexus has always been 100% behind the common purpose.  Cena, or Jericho’s team is already showing cracks.  The cracks are due to their individual egos and agendas.  Barrett assures us that come SummerSlam, the cracks are going to destroy the team.  Sheffield says that he has a team of individuals who have no singular focus.  No member of Cena’s team is willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the group, like Nexus will do and has done.  What Cena’s looking at is the Nexus.  And they are unbreakable.  Tarver takes the mic and says that SummerSlam will be no different than tonight.  They will eliminate everyone until there’s only one person left, and Tarver hopes it’s Cena.  They’ll treat him like a piece of meat, until they’ve all had their fill.  They’ll pounce, and when they do, they’ll put him out of his misery.  And then it’ll be over, mercifully for Cena, in more ways than one.

    Miz is sitting backstage, massaging his forehead from the RKO, and then Sheamus comes up.  Sheamus starts hating on Miz, and says that Miz is dreaming if he thinks that he can beat Sheamus.  Miz just stares at him.  Sheamus asks if Miz thinks he can, just name the time and place.  Miz says how about tonight, immediately after they face Cena and Jericho.  After Miz wins that match, and throws Sheamus back in the ring.  After Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment, and Jericho puts him in the Walls of Jericho, and he’s screaming in pain…  Miz has a really good Irish accent, btw, and then Miz cashes in on Sheamus.  Sheamus says if Miz keeps pushing him, he’ll make him regret it, and knocks the briefcase across the room.  Miz looks around and then scoffs.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @kickoutblog When Michael Tarver speaks, you better listen, but don’t look directly into his eyes or else he’ll consume your soul.

    @HitTheRopes A clothesline took out the “World’s Strongest Man”? Really? #wwe

    @Niki_Sushi Little Known Fact: Mark Henry and Skip Sheffield have a rap battle every night over drinks.

    @TKeep123 Team Steroid vs. Team Jobber ….. outcome as expected. #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @BrdWrstlngFn Come on WWE, pull the trigger – you know you want The Miz as the WWE Champion!

    @kellylynndobson To Barrett Bourne must have weighed nothing after botching kool aid last week. #bwf

    Brie Bella with Nikki Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox

    Dear God… It’s the Bellas.  Jerry is, however, finally back, so we don’t just have to listen to Cole.  The Bellas are dressed alike, so I smell a Switcheroo.  Jillian came out to stop the twins from doing said Switcheroo, and Nikki nearly pinned Alicia, but Alicia came back and hit her with her finisher, whatever it’s called.

    Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox wins via pinfall!

    Someone made the mistake of letting Jillian pick up a mic.  Jillian says that she has a gift for Alicia, and she’s gonna sing.  She’s singing a fucked up version of We Are the Champions by Queen, but Alicia hits her with her finisher too, and another stupid segment is ended.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @dasharpshooters Whores are forever, and so are the Bella Twins. #wwe #raw #bwf

    @IAmJHPunk How does Jillian still have a job?! #wwe #raw #bwf

    R-Truth is out, screaming his constant question, to be on commentary.  Anyway.

    Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. John Morrison

    DiBiase and Morrison lock up, as Cole questions Truths’ motives.  Maryse grabbed Morrison, and allowed DiBiase to get a chance to beat him up a little.  DiBiase goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two.  I don’t really care what Truth says, stop focusing on him.  DiBiase went for another cover, but Morrison kicked out.  DiBiase gets Morrison in a headlock, but Morrison fights out, only to get beat up a bit.  Morrison fights back, and Morrison hits DiBiase with his spinny-kick thing, and DiBiase kicks at Morrison.  Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to the corner, but Maryse gets on the apron and distracts Morrison.  DiBiase puts his feet on the rope to try to cover Morrison, but Truth shoves his feet off.  DiBiase attacks Truth, and then Morrison tries to take advantage, only to kick Morrison in the face.  DiBiase manages to pin Morrison for the win.

    Ted DiBiase wins via pinfall!

    Truth and Morrison start arguing in the ring, about Truth’s interference, and Morrison leaves, obviously upset, further creating cracks in Team Cena or Team Jericho.  Cena’s watching this, worried about how this is going to affect the team.  Truth admits that it was his bad, but Morrison doesn’t look impressed.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @KeepItFiveStar His name is NOT “Jo Mo Fo Sho” it’s John Morrison. Don’t bring him down to your level.

    @BrdWrstlngFn Can we get Alicia Fox out here to kick R-Truth too?

    @dasharpshooters Morrison turning heel? Hope so. #wwe raw #bwf

    @KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase’s purple tights are made from actual skin from Grimace. It’s amazing what money can buy.

    “Rip It Up” by Jet is the official SummerSlam theme song!

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Team Nexus? Meet Team Cena (Jericho).>

    Lawler has a Cena Slurpee cup with a Triple H straw…

    Josh Matthews is backstage with Randy Orton now! He says that earlier, Randy prevented Miz from cashing in.  Orton says that before he RKO’d Miz, he RKO’d Sheamus. T he message he sent tonight was clear: the question of who will be champion walking into SummerSlam doesn’t matter, because the question of who’s leaving as champion will be answered with an RKO.

    AWESOME!

    United States Champion The Miz and WWE Champion Sheamus vs John Cena and Chris Jericho

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @RAWMysteryGM Spoiler Alert: Miz opens next week’s RAW with the World Heavyweight championship explaining why he cashed in on Kane on Smackdown #WWE

    @kickoutblog Y2J chant? Get out of 1999 you parasitic tapeworms!

    It’s a shame that they lost their heads…

    Sheamus comes out, and there’s already tension between Miz and Sheamus, and everyone knows Jericho and Cena were going to have tension…

    Both teams are arguing over who’s going to start the match.  I saw Miz go, “Okay, you start it? You start it?” and then run to attack Cena.  Cena hits a bulldog by the time I look up, and Miz rolls out of the ring. Miz then tags in Sheamus, who blends in with the ring ropes.  They lock up, and Sheamus gets the advantage, keeping Cena in a headlock, but Cena powers out and puts Sheamus in a headlock.  Cena hits the shoulder block, and then shoves Sheamus in the corner.  Cena holds his hand out and Jericho tags in, cornering Sheamus, before Sheamus turns it around on Jericho.  A Y2J chant is starting up, and it makes me happy.  Jericho hits a missile dropkick on Sheamus before standing on both Sheamus and the ropes.  Jericho gets a kick in the stomach before some moves are exchanged and Sheamus gets flipped out of the ring.  Jericho clears the ring, and then Miz mocks Sheamus outside the ring.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    We come back to Cena and Sheamus, just in time for Cena to get a huge clothesline.  Sheamus tags in Miz, but Cena gets the advantage and goes for a cover, only for Miz to kick out.  Jericho comes in off the tag and knees Miz right in the nose.  Jericho bounces around and goes for a cover, only to try for the Walls of Jericho.  Sheamus goes to attack Jericho, but Jericho ducks and finally manages to hit the Lionsault on Sheamus, but Miz takes advantage.  Miz gets Chris up and back into his corner, kicking him before Sheamus tags himself in.  Sheamus then attacks Chris in the same way, pandering more to Miz than the crowd, as the Miz chokes Chris on the apron as Sheamus distracts the ref.  Sheamus clotheslines Jericho and goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out.  Sheamus gets Jericho in a headlock after that, and Jericho gets to his feet and powers out.  Sheamus drops Jericho onto his knee and then goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at two.  Sheamus gets Jericho back to his feet, and then drops him again.  Sheamus tags Miz in, and Miz drops his boot on Jericho’s back before hitting him with some forearms.  Miz then keeps Jericho on the rope, and slams his throat into it.  Miz goes for a cover, but Jericho grabs the rope.  Miz then gets a kick to the chin, and then a missile dropkick from the top rope.  Cena is yelling at Jericho to tag him, and Miz rolls over to tag in Sheamus.  Sheamus then gets Jericho in a headlock, and Cena seems to be trying to walk Jericho through it on the apron.  Jericho manages to get up and power out of the headlock and Miz tags his way in.  Miz then bounces Jericho’s head off the turnbuckle, and beats him in the corner.  The ref forces Miz off, and then Miz yells at him before attempting his swinging corner clothesline, only for Jericho to win.

    Miz is slowly rolling to Sheamus, as Jericho crawls to Cena, and it’s now Cena and Sheamus.  Cena takes Sheamus down with some shoulder blocks.  Cena then sets up and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Miz distracts the ref, and Chris is in the ring too.  Chris hits the Code Breaker on Cena, Miz tags in himself, and goes for the cover on Cena.

    The United States Champion The Miz and the WWE Champion Sheamus win via pinfall.

    Miz already starts walking out of the ring and away from them.  Jericho is watching Cena, before climbing back in the ring.  Jericho then puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho.  Cena flips it and puts Jericho into the STF.  Jericho taps, but Khali comes in, trying to talk some sense into them.  Edge then hits a Spear on Khali.  Cena asks what the hell Edge is doing only for Morrison and Truth to come in.  Team Cena/Jericho/whatever is all arguing in the ring.  Khali then hits Morrison and Edge, and then everyone tries to tell Khali to stop.  Jericho starts screaming at all of them too, telling everyone to stay down.

    Looks like the tension on Team Cena/Jericho/YankeeDoodleDandy is going to make everyone a little crazy.  How will Nexus take advantage of this?  Will Miz ever cash in the Money in the Bank contract, or is he just going to hold onto it forever until the year mark and then cash it in?  Later, BWF tweeters.

  4. RAW 6/7/10

    7 Comments

    Alright, this is my first time posting this myself, so forgive me if it comes out looking a little weird or anything!!

    So, I had to start about a half hour late, due to class and trying to eat.  However, my friend, @Niki_Sushi covered me on what happened, though I didn’t miss that much.

    Apparently, Smackdown General Manager, Theodore Long and RAW General Manager, Bret Hart, have asked the Miami audience to vote on what match should happen later on.  I don’t know what the choices were, but the result is Edge vs Randy Orton in match, where Edge will have one hand tied behind his back.

    Next, the fans vote between a bodyslam match, a submission match, or an Over the Top Rope match for Big Show and Chris Jericho.  They chose a BodySlam match.

    Big Show vs Chris Jericho in BodySlam Match

    Show hit him in a submission, and then threw him over the top rope anyway.

    Big Show wins.

    Who will face the Hart Dynasty?  The Usos, The DudeBusters, or Hornswoggle and The Great Khali?  Vote now!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 For tonight’s #RAW I’m actually going to try and believe that internet voting really counts! :} #WWE #BWF

    We come back to RAW to see the Hart Dynasty in the ring.  Matt Striker tells us that The Great Khali and Hornswoggle will be facing the Hart Dynasty.

    Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty vs The Great Khali and Hornswoggle

    Not sure what happened, but it was a quick match.

    Hart Dynasty wins.

    The Usos attack, but Hart Dynasty finally managed to gain the upper hand and kick the Usos out of the ring.  As Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are talking, Jerry starts looking around, and then says that they have a problem, and then walks off.

    SMACKDOWN REPLAY: Kane found Taker in a vegitative state over Memorial Day weekened.  I have no idea what happened here, because I wasn’t here.  Either way, just sounds like what was on Smackdown.  Up next, the cast of The A-Team arrives!!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Bruce412 Is King going to go get JR to save this damn show? #WWE #BWF

    Justin Roberts introduces the cast of The A-Team, but only Bradley Cooper comes out.  He says that he’s not sure where the others are, but The A-Team opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, and he says that he’s excited to host RAW tonight.  The screen moves, and we see Jerry Lawler walking around backstage.  People stop him, but he claims he’s looking for someone.  The other two cast members from The A-Team show up and King says that someone stole his crown.  Rampage says that he thinks he knows who has it, and they leave.  However, the Bella Whores I MEAN TWINS start talking and talking, and I don’t know what they said, becuse I don’t like them!!

    Next up, Santino comes up, and we’re told that the choices for this match are either an actual match, an arm-wrestling competition, or a dance-off.  Three guesses what this one’s gonna be…

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Vladimir Kozlov comes out and gets in the ring, and then Matt Striker tells us that the fans voted on a dance-off.  Surprise.  Surprise.

    Santino Marella vs Vladimir Kozlov in a Dace-Off

    Santino starts first and it’s surprisingly not that bad.  I mean, it’s not that great, but it’s not that bad.  He does the running man, I believe, turned his Cobra move into a dance move, a Chippendale type thing, and then ended it with his Cobra again.  Now, it’s Vlaidimir’s turn.  The Moscow Mauler shows that he actually does have some kind of rthym, and manages to win.  Oh, and Cole, it’s not vintage if he’s never done it before.  Shut up.

    Vladimir Kozlov wins dance-off

    He does some weird ass belly roll thing and then dances with Santino, and leaves the ring.  Whatever.  Next up, you vote on the Diva’s action!! Either a six-on-six Diva Tag Match, a Diva Battle Royal,  or a Champion vs Champion match!!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    All the Divas come out to the ring to Eve’s music, and Jerry’s in the ring.  He says that you all voted, and the Diva’s match will be a Diva’s Battle Royal!

    Divas Battle Royal

    I hate trying to cover Battle Royals, because my ADD kicks in.  Anyway, here’s the order of eliminations: Rosa Mendes, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Nikki or Brie Bella, Brie or Nikki Bella, Layla, Michelle McCool, Eve Torres and Jillian Hall.

    Winner: Maryse

    Later on tonight, Edge takes on Randy Orton, with one arm tied behind his back.

    Sheamus makes his way to the ring (I assume), and is stopped by Kane, who says that just because Sheamus is on RAW and not on Smackdown doesn’t mean that he’s off the hook.  Sheamus took out Triple H to make a name for himself, and Kane says that Sheamus would do the same to The Undertaker.  Sheamus says that he wouldn’t be shy about it, and he’d do it out in the open.  Sheamus goes on to say that he doesn’t take kindly to false accusations, and Kane says he doesn’t take kindly to liars.

    Next up, yu choose who Sheamus should face: Kane, Mark Henry, or Evan Bourne.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @steveaustinweb Natalya couldn’t be in this one!? #RAW

    @alisha225 SHEAMUS A. GETS A TAN B. GETS COLORED IN C. DISAPPEARS

    @ThingsColeSays If Kane set Sheamus’ hair on fire, would anybody even notice?

    We come back to Sheamus in the ring, and a flashback to last week.  You know, where Evan Bourne teamed up with John Cena to actually be in a main event?  That they won? AGAINST SHEAMUS AND EDGE?!  That one.  Matt Striker then says who the opponent is, and OMG MARK HENRY GOT RID OF THE KOOL-AID MAN GEAR!

    Sheamus vs Kane

    Holy condiment man, Batman!! Sheamus looked freaked out, which made me happy, because it was just like the old days!  You know, when Kane didn’t lose every other match to guys like Dolph Ziggler. Anyway, the match begins, and Kane immediatly gets the upper hand and hurls Sheamus over the top rope.  He follows Sheamus out of the ring, beating on his arm for a bit before thowing him back in the ring.  Kane goes up to the top turnbuckle, but Sheamus knocks his leg out from under him, and hits him with some forearms.  Sheamus then hits a running powerslam, though it looked more like a waddling powerslam to me, and goes for a cover.  Kane kicks out at two, and Sheamus dominates going into the commercial.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    We come back to see Sheamus going for a cover, but Kane kicks out a two.  So, Sheamus tries his luck at a submission, but Kane powers out and pushes Sheamus into the ropes, dropping a big boot on Sheamus’ head.  The two exchange slaps for a minute before Kane gains the upper hand, Irish Whipping Sheamus, then clotheslining him.  He hits a sidewalk slam, then his usual dropkick to the mouth, and goes for a cover.  Sheamus kicks out at two.  Kane goes to the top rope and hits a clothesline on Sheamus. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Sheamus kicks Kane in the gut.  Sheamus misses with an Axe Handle, and Kane goes for a chokeslam.  Sheamus gets out and counters with a backbreaker on Kane.  Sheamus then goes for his big boot, but Kane goes for a chokeslam, and simply shoves Sheamus out of the ring.  Sheamus gets back in and goes for another boot to the face, but Kane counters with the chokeslam.  Sheamus rolls out of the ring, and doesn’t get back in.

    Kane wins via Count Out.

    Later on, WWE Champion John Cena will fight World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi gotta admit it. I love the photo-shopped sling on Randy.

    Congratulations to Wade Barrett for winning NXT!  The NXT ring announcer, Savannah, greets and congratulates Wade for his win.  She asks what it’s like to win, and he tells her that asking him that is like asking a genius how it feels to pass a school exam.  He says not to ask him that until after he makes history later.

    Ted and Virgil are talking about Viewer’s Choice, and Ted says he should be running the show.  Rampage and Murdoch (I know I’m mixing names here, but I don’t care) show up and say that they know that Ted has Jerry’s crown.  Ted says he could buy whatever he wants, and the last thing he wants is Jerry’s crown.  Murdoch says that he’s going to bring out the lie detector, and Ted says they don’t work.  Rampage gets nose-to-nose with Virgil and says that it’s not that kind of lie detector.  IRS shows up, wearing Jerry’s crown, and says that since Jerry never paid backtaxes on the jewels, it’s his.  Ted then says that he knows who they are and that the crown was only bait.  Smoke fills the room, and Murdoch passes out as Ted, Virgil, and IRS grab Rampage.

    Next up, R-Truth and The Miz have a tag team match!! You vote on their tag team partners.  For Truth, you can choose Christian, MVP, or John Morrison.  For Miz, you can choose Dolph Ziggler, William Regal, or Zack Ryder.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    R-Truth comes out and says that the WWE Universe had the power tonight to pick his tag-team pertner, and he wants to know who it is.  So, the poll comes up and it was John Morrison!!  Next, The Miz comes out, saying that the WWE Universe obviously doesn’t know what they’re doing.  They chose John Morrison, after they chose Khali and Hornswoggle to face the Hart Dynasty, and then chose Vladimir to do a dance-off, so Miz doesn’t care who his partner is.  All that matters is that Miz wins tonight so that he can go about getting his United States Championship back.

    United States Champion R-Truth and John Morrison vs The Miz and Zack Ryder

    Miz and R-Truth start it out, and Miz gets the upperhand.  Truth manages to avoid Miz, and hip tosses Miz.  He then tags in Morrison.  They Irish Whipped him at the same time, and hip tossed him together.  Morrison grabs Miz and tags Truth back in, the two double slam, and then Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two.  Miz kicks Truth in the face and tags in Zack Ryder.  Ryder hits Truth with a neck breaker, and then goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out at one.  Ryder moves and tags Miz back in, and Miz kicks Truth in the gut.  He punches Truth in the face, kicks him in the head, and then bounces off the rope to kick Truth in the face.  He then covers Truth, only for Truth to kick out at two.  Miz gets Truth in a headlock, and Truth tosses Miz behind him, and they’re both down.  Truth goes to tag Morrison, and Miz grabs his ankle, only ending up in pulling off his shoe as Morrison is tagged in.  Morrison hits Miz with a clothesline, then an Irish Whip into a flying chuck.  Morrison then knocks Ryder off the apron, and hits Miz with a knee to the face.  Morrison goes to cover Miz, but Ryder breaks it up.  Truth comes in, smacking Ryder around, until Miz grabs Truth.  Truth then slaps Miz, Ryder shoves Truth out of the ring, and Morrison kicks Ryder out.  He then turns his attention to Miz, who moves so that Morrison’s shoulder meets the ring post.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale, goes for the cover and wins with a three count.

    The Miz and Zack Ryder win.

    Edge and Bret are talking backstage, and Edge says that it’s not fair.  Bret says that, fair or not, it’s going to happen.  Edge walks off, and Bret starts to walk away, only for Kane to come out and call Bret out.  Kane says that if he finds out it was Bret, then he will be in a vegetative state, just like the Undertaker is.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @jenrae73 My 50yr old alcoholic Aunt has the same shirt R-Truth is wearing 2nite. #Raw #WWE #BWF

    Edge vs Randy Orton with Edge’s hand tied behind his back

    Edge comes out, and there is a flashback to last week, when Randy RKO’d Edge in the ring, and Edge retaliated by slamming the door shut on Randy’s shoulder.  Randy comes out afterward in a sling.  The ref ties Edge’s arm behind his back, and then the match begins.  Edge goes for a clothesline, but Randy ducks it.  Edge goes for a kick, but Randy ducks and retaliates with a clothesline of his own, and proceeds to stop on Edge.  Randy went for a left-handed RKO, but missed, and Edge knocked him down.  Edge manages to get his arm free and goes at Randy’s shoulder before the ref pulls him away.  Edge breaks away from the ref and does it again, before the ref calls for the bell.

    Randy wins via DQ

    Edge moves to the opposite corner and prepares for the spear.  He goes for it, but Randy kicks at Edge and then kicks him right out of the ring.  He then follows Edge, but Edge had a chair and hits Randy’s shoulder with it.  When Randy goes down, Edge hits him again with it.  As Edge walks backstage, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole tries to figure out if Edge knocked Randy’s shoulder out of socket.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    We come back to Evan and John talking to each other about last week.  Savannah comes up after Evan walks away and asks Cena how he feels about not knowing his opponent tonight.  He says that he feels better about this match that he does about Fatal 4Way, since he has to face three different men.  At least in this match, it’s just one.  Besides, he feels that the decision is left up to the most able-bodied decision makers on the show: The WWE Universe.

    The camera goes to the locker room where Murdoch was, and Mean Gene is talking to him, saying that he has a chance to surpass the previous A-Team, and he hopes that Murdoch will do a better job of it then Josh Matthews did of replacing him.  Murdoch seems to get an idea and takes off.

    Drew McIntyre makes his way to the ring, and Teddy Long comes on, saying that the choices for Drew’s opponent are Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, or a Mystery Man!!

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Drew McIntyre vs Mystery Man… Matt Hardy!

    Obviously not surprising, the Mystery Man is Matt Hardy.  When Matt comes out, Drew grabs a mic and says that this match isn’t happening because Matt is suspended.  Teddy comes out and says that, unfortunately for Drew, Matt’s only suspended from Smackdown, not from RAW, so the match is taking place.  Drew starts to say something, but before he can say anything else, Matt smacks him and then tackles Drew.  Matt hits a clothesline and throws Drew out of the ring, bouncing his head off the announce table, and then throwing him right into Michael Cole.  Matt then hurls him into the barricade, a ring post, then headbutts him before getting Drew back in the ring.  Drew manages to retaliate with a kick, but they’re both down.  Drew runs at Matt, and Matt moves, sending Drew right into the pole.  Matt hits the Twist of Fate for the win.

    Matt Hardy wins

    Matt continues to assault Drew after the match, throwing the ref away when he tries to stop Matt.  Matt ends up yanking out a pretty nice sized chunk of Drew’s hair.

    The camera shows Rampage chained to a chair and he asks Ted what he wants with him.  Ted says that it’s not important right now.  Right now, they’re going to the ring.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Ted, Virgil, and IRS handcuff Rampage to the ring ropes, and hold him back.  Ted says that he’s doing this because everyone has a price, even him.  Someone said they wanted Ramapge delivered to them on a silver patter, and Ted said to name their price.  So, it was paid, and now Rampage was all theirs.  The person that comes out to claim Rampage would be none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper.  Piper says that at Wrestlemania I, he shut everyone up who kept saying that The A-Team was te hottest show on television, and he silenced the old Mr. T.  Now, he says he has to silence another “Mr. T”, and he’s not going to see The A-Team.  Piper pities the fool who mess with Hot Rod.

    However, Dusty Rhodes, Mean Gene, and Murdoch make their way to the ring.  Rampage shoves IRS and Virgil away, and pulls his hand free from the handcuff.  IRS goes for a clothesline on Rhodes, and Rhodes dodges, elbowing him in the head instead.  Virgil and Piper just stand there, looking at Rampage and Rhodes.  Rampage slams Virgil, and Piper leaves the ring.  Gene asks how they did it, and Murdoch says he remembered where he was and that he needed to call Dusty for help.

    Voting is open, so you can now choose whether WWE Champion John Cena faces World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Next week’s guest host is USA Network’s Original Series Royal Pains Star, Mark Feuerstien, and I’m pretty sure I heard that Big Show is going to be hosting with him!  Josh Matthews shows up with Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, and the Straight Edge Society, and asks them all why they should be competing against Cena tonight.  Rey says that in order to get to the top, you have to go after whoever is on top.  Swagger bascially just says that it’ll be Champion vs Champion, and Punk says that he can make Cena a better person.

    Brrrrrr LEATHER SHOES!!!

    Cena makes his way out to the ring, and Matt Striker lets us know who the pick was for Cena’s opponent tonight.

    WWE Champion John Cena vs CM Punk with Straight Edge Society

    As soon as the bell rings, Cena goes for the mask, and Punk rolls right out of the ring.  It looks to me like CM Punk met up with the Bellas backstage and totally jacked their ring gear.  Anyway, Punk gets the upperhand when he gets back in and puts Cena in a headlock.  Cena counters with a shoulder block and flips Punk, putting him in a headlock.  Punk reverses, then Cena counters, and goes for the mask again.  Punk rolls out.  When he gets back in, he goes for a lockup, but knees Cena in the gut, followed  by his shoulder.  He flips Cena, drops a dropkick to the back of Cena’s head, and goes for a cover.  Cena kicks out at two.  Punk gets Cena in a submission hold, but Cena powers out and goes for the STF, but Punk grabs the ropes.  Punk misses a clothesline, and Cena Irish Whips him across the ring, hitting a bulldog.  He goes for another move, but Luke Gallows grabs his ankles, sending him to the mat, rolling around.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 CM Punk is looking like an Amish Luchador! #WWE #RAW #BWF

    We return to Punk holding Cena in a headlock.  Cena counters to a fireman’s carry, but Punk counters it.  Punk goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two.  Cena ends up outside the ring, and Serena kicks Cena.  Cena is then kicked by Punk and put back in the ring.  Cena starts to fight back, then goes to Irish Whip Punk, just for Punk to reverse it.  Cena ducks a clothesline, then hits Punk with two shoulder tackles, and a takedown.  Cena pauses as he sees Wade Barrett begin making his way down the ramp.  Cena ignores him for a minute, and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and lifts Punk up to a fireman’s carry.  But, he drops Punk and tells Barrett to make his move.

    Okay, here is about where I got too confused to keep up with the show, unfortunately.

    The Season One NXT Rookies appeared from frigging nowhere and started to tear everything apart.  They took apart the ring, the barricades, announce table, beat the hell out of Cena, stripped Justin Roberts, choked him with his own tie, beat the hell out of Jerry Lawler… I don’t know what happened, to be honest.  I think they were spending too much time alone with Sheamus in a room with nothing but black lights and all that fluorescent finally got to their heads…

    Anyway, I don’t know what that was all about, and hopefully the WWE will explain it next week!  And with that, I’ll see you next week!