Back on Thursdays, is this G here. Yep, another week of craziness bookended by a long weekend up North and down South… which included all the drama of the NHL free agent frenzy. But you don’t care about holidays or hockey, no valued reader. You want to know what happened over in Orlando… and who Sting will emulate, tonight? Hell, I’ll even toss the Power Poll at the end for you!
It is the go-home show before this Sunday’s Destination X PPV.
Well another week gone by, man does the time fly and with so much happening, I just don’t know where to start but I am so without further ado, lets get this party started, right: (more…)
To the tune of ‘Manic Monday’ by the Bangles, you can follow the song by clicking HERE.
It’s that time already
I was just eating some chocolate ice cream
I’ve been thinking all day
About my column and what should be its theme
But it can’t be late
‘Cause then it’s Thursday and it wont be right
These are the days
I wish that Vinnie had a show every night
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
I think I need a miracle
‘Cause all I see on my screen is white
I’m running out of time
and I’ve still got nothing to write
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna say
I post a YouTube clip or two
And everything is a-ok
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Why in my mind
Did I choose to make fun of a Bangles song
It’s just too hard
Does it really matter
That it’s hard to change the words
I’ll just write anything down
A giant has a big voice
and Mimes, they don’t make a noise
Time for a ke-bab
and a Hot Cross Bun
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Judgment Day
I actually made predictions in last week’s column, if thats what you want to call them. Let’s see if my wishes came true.
Umaga def. CM Punk
I got this one wrong. Infact, judging by the length of this match. This wasnt a 30 minute match was it? It wasnt even a 10 minute match. No, it was more like this …
Christian def. Jack Swagger
Who didnt see this coming a mile away huh? Christian won. Personally, I dont see why Jack Swagger cant win, I mean, he’s been in commercials. At least, I think it’s him, it sure sounds like him. Here, judge for yourself.
John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin
This shows you just how much means in the scheme of things, that as of last Wednesday, this match was not announced for the Pay Per View. Which means, that this match had at most exactly four days build up. Four Days People! How can you build a PPV match in four days? It’s just like working out if the contractors building the Death Star knew what they were getting into? I’ll let Dante and Randal explain.
A segment involving the Miz, Chavo and Santino
Thats the Miz, Chavo Guerrero and Santino Marella
Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho
Well it looks like my dreams didnt come true. Rey Mysterio didnt get Swine Flu nor did he get booted back to Mexico. Perhaps I should’ve gotten JBL to do it. Rather than comment on this match, why not show it to you. I present to you, Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho.
Batista def. Randy Orton by DQ (Orton retains WWE Championship)
Randy cheats to win, so Big Dave doesnt win the title. Hooray for Randy, thank you for not letting that useless lug win the title. It’s good to see they might let Randy hold the title for a few months, or at least until this man comes back. However, spoiler note, Randy Orton scheduled to defend the WWE Championship three times during RAW’s tour of Australia and New Zealand in early July. Before you ask, no I’m not going, my birthday is too close to the touring dates (the last day of the tour is the day before my birthday), which means that chances are, Randy isnt losing the title before then.
Wasn’t Batista a Body Builder?
John Cena def. Big Show
First off, did you know John Cena gave driving tips? Secondly, if anyone actually thought that Big Show was going to win at Judgment Day should not be allowed to be a wrestling fan ever again. Thirdly, don’t you pay attention to rhymes? Fourthly and finally, Are we gonna have a shower or what?
Edge def. Jeff Hardy
Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship, which means for the first time in a long while, all major titles have been retained at the one PPV. Which is good, considering I was at a concert the other night and was surprised to see Jeff Hardy reforming his old band. Here’s a clip.
No TNA this week, I went through a fair bit last week and the only thing that has been added is that Jeff Jarrett is now a part of the Title match at Sacrifice. That’s J-E-Double F J-A-Double R-E-Double T. What is he Sacrificing in order to be in the match? Why ownership of TNA of course. Judging by that, my prediction is, either Angle loses or Foley loses. My guess, Angle loses to Foley.
That’s it for another Wednesday, don’t forget to check out my review of the Vintage Collection over at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com and the sister site of BoredWrestlingFan.com, VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com.
I leave you this week, with the softer side of the Doug Anthony All Stars. Here it is!! Tune in next week.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!
CM Punk vs Umaga
Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship
Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.
Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship
Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.
John Cena vs the Big Show
Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …
Shane McMahon John Cena vs Big Show
Edge vs Jeff Hardy – World Heavyweight Championship
Been here. Seen it before. See? StingEdge vs Vampiro
Randy Orton vs Batista – WWE Championship
This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused, I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.
Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …
and now, here’s Part Two!
TNA
They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.
However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …
If they lose …
If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again
Also on the card, is as follows:
I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion.
TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.
MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.
THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup
THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*
Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Backlash
Backlash has been and gone. Matches were won and lost, and i didnt do any predictions. So, let’s just examine the happenings.
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become new ECW Champion.
Well, well. He finally wins the title. I knew that sooner or later he was gonna win. But the big question remains. Does this count as a major title win? I know that the ECW Championship counts as a major championship, but I, along with several other people, doesnt see the ECW Championship as nothing more than a re badged European Championship. Is this the stepping stone to Main Event level for Christian? My guess is no, as he needs to step up an extra couple of rungs up the ladder before he makes true Main Event status.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky Steamboat
Nice to see Jericho got the win. A loss here would have destroyed the small amount of credibility he has left. Also, I hope this is the end for Steamboat. He may still be able to go a little, but that doesnt mean that he should go a little. The novelty has worn off for Steamboat. As for Jericho, hopefull SmackDown! pushes him back up to Championship status, although seeing him stare down the Intercontinental Champion during the Draft coverage a few weeks back, spells his future.
Kane def. CM Punk
The relevance of this match? Filler. Thats all it was. they made up some thing about Kane being upset about not winning Money in the Bank at WrestleMania, but that did a rather lame job of hiding the fact that this match was only put there to fill up the card. Sadly, this match got in and yet the US Title, the Tag Titles, the IC Title and both Womens Titles didnt get defended. Just goes to show you how much the WWE think people want to see CM Punk. Even if the matches don’t mean anything.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy
This match was an I Quit match. If I am forced to sit down, and watch this Vampiro ripoff anymore, then I will quit. I do not understand how this guy is popular. Do they feel sorry for him because his house burned down? Do they feel sorry for him because he thought the name of this PPV was ‘Cracklash’? But seriously, I have no idea how Jeff Hardy got pushed, whereas Matt, the better of the two Hardys, didnt. Jeff became WWE Champion. He beat Edge for the belt, and was challenging former champion Triple H all the way. Yes, thats right, Triple H. The same Triple H whom Jeff Hardy beat for the Intercontinental Title back in 2001. Whereas Matt Hardy, well he beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. The same ECW Championship that I referred to as a re badged European Championship earlier. I wonder what will happen now that they are on different shows? My guess is, Matt Hardy will do nothing, whilst Jeff challenges for the World Title.
Khali Kiss Cam
Joke. Santina loves JR and Khali beats up Beth Phoenix. What has Beth Phoenix done to piss someone off? She must’ve done something real bad to be invovled in this Santina/Santino, To-may-to/To-ma-to let’s call the whole thing off nonsense. Thats what they should do with Santina Marella. Call the whole thing off. it’s becoming more ridiculous by the second. Nice way to destroy Beth’s career.
Legacy def. Trips, Shane O and PenisHead, meaning Randy Orton is new WWE Champion
Oh my god, the all mighty Triple H got beaten. What ever will we do? I know, send Penishead after him. He’ll save the day! Newsflash. Deacon Dave is inept. The only thing he’s good for is holding collection boxes. On the other hand, having Randy as champ is a big PLUS. Now, why couldnt they have Orton win at ‘Mania? Surely that would’ve been the best time to have him win the belt.
Edge def. John Cena to become World Heavyweight Champion
Edge win the belt, with a very big assist from the Big Show. Let me make this loud and clear. John Cena is NOT Hulk Hogan. John Cena is NOT some sort of being with superhuman powers. John Cena is NOT a member of the X-Men. Is Edge not good enough to beat John Cena on his own? Does the major title on SmackDown!, have to change more than Vickie Guerrero does love interests? However Ladies and Gentlemen and this is where they really grind my gears. John Cena, appeared on RAW. Thats right, just one day after being thrown into a spotlight, John Cena appears the next night. Hulk Hogan sold more in his career, than John Cena ever will. I hope Edge holds the belt for awhile, unless he loses it to Jericho. Anyone else, and it will be a travesty.
TNA
Have I missed anything? Oh yeah, they have a PPV coming up. It’s like they have one every month or something. Anyways, the up-coming PPV is Sacrifice and Mick Foley will defend his belt against … well it could be a list of people. From Bug-Eyed Lashley, to BrokeNeck Angle, to Stung, to Mike Tyson’s lookalike. The list goes on and on. Also, theres a Tag Team Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the gold. The winner also receives a trophy and $100,000. If Beer Money doesnt win the tournament, then their belts back, then once again, it’s a travesty.
The Rest
Just some short little tidbits here. Whomever entered the competition won. You all win jack, and shit. Thank you for entering.
Finally, don’t forget my review of the WWE Vintage Collection will be up at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com inside the next 24 hours, so go check that out. Also, check out the various videos and toilet breaks throughout the review.
I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you to stay away from fat chicks, as you might end up with swine flu.
The time for mysterious notes are over.
Have you ever wondered that your wrestling week, just doesnt seem complete? I mean, there’s RAW on Mondays, ECW Tuesdays, iMPACT Thursdays, Smackdown! Fridays, the new ROH show on Saturdays and a Pay-Per View on Sunday. Why is there nothing wrestling-related happening on Wednesdays? Well, here at BWF, things have changed. Your Wednesday night fix has arrived!
BWF’s newest columnist is here to save those from complete and utter boredom, and to give you about ten minutes of 100% dribble, as I, ramble on, about the comings and goings, the world, not just in the wrestling business, but outside it as well.
As you can tell, I’m not the best with intros, so let’s get right down to business.
TNA Lockdown
This PPV will have Sting and Mick Foley main eventing, with the TNA Championship on the line. Now, didnt Jeff Jarrett, say several weeks ago, that he wanted to push young, up and coming talent, and create new stars for TNA? Then why are two guys, who made names for themselves somewhere else, wrestling for the world title, instead of these “up and coming” stars you say you have? It’s about time, that you stop relying on known stars that will get you your 1.1 rating, and start taking chances on guys that havent received their shot.
Danny Bonaduce vs Eric Young? Are you f*cking serious? Even though Eric Young sucks, he must’ve pissed Kurt Angle off real bad to get drawn this rubbish. I mean, come on, he’s wrestling a guy, who was a child star in the Partridge Family, and now, had a reality show about him, in which the only thing it was good for, was watching Joel McHale on E!’s ‘The Soup’, take the piss out of it each week. Bonaduce is washed up, why are TNA even bringing this guy in? Do they think that Danny Bonaduce = buyrates? I think not.
Team 3D vs Beer Money Inc. The PPV is in Philly. ECW originated in Philly. Team 3D, just happened to be a big part of ECW back in the day, which means, that chances are, Team 3D will walk away with all the tag gold, except the Tag belts around the waists of MMG. Now, if I was booking this match, I would have Beer Money win. Here’s why. You want to push talent up the ranks? Who better than the best Tag Team in wrestling right now? Robert Roode and James Storm are the only reason I watch TNA. What a better way to push these guys up, than to have them beat Team 3D, in Team 3D’s own backyard? It wont happen, but it should happen.
WWE Wrestlemania XXV
Edge, Cena, Big Show. Apparently, all three of these guys, want a piece of the ugliest thing going around. Now I’ve dated some ugly broads in my time, but Vickie Guerrero, you are one ugly sumbitch. From how I see it, no matter which way you look at it, there isnt a winner in this match. Is the World Heavyweight Championship, really worth Vickie Guerrero in your bed?
Triple H vs Randy Orton. Is there anything Triple H cant do before he gets jail time? Is there anything else that can be done to build up this match? The answer to both questions is no, and that’s sad really, because there is still two weeks of build up left.
Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. The Streak vs Mr. Wrestlemania. Undertaker is 16-0 at Wrestlemania. Thats impressive to say the least. The New England Patriots were also 16-0. They won two more games before falling to the New York Giants. The Undertaker has beaten 17 different wrestlers going into Wrestlemania 25. Comparing the Patriots to the Undertaker, it seems that Undertaker will win at the Wrestlemania as well. But this time, the Undertaker doesnt have to face Nathan Jones and A-Train, or Giant Gonzalez, or Mark Henry. He faces Shawn Michaels. The same Shawn Michaels who lasted over an hour with Bret Hart at Wrestlemania XII, to win his first WWF Championship. The same Shawn Michaels who competed in the first ever Ladder match at Wrestlemania. The same Shawn Michaels, that no matter who his opponent is, always seems to have the best match, on a Wrestlemania card. Which leaves one question. Will Shawn Michaels be the New York Giants of the wrestling world? If the Undertaker cruicifies Marty Jannetty in the next two weeks, the answer is yes. Otherwise, I think Taker may stay undefeated.
Legends of Wrestlemania
This game is the latest installment of wrestling games by THQ, to celebrate 25 years of Wrestlemania. Does it live up to the hype? Maybe. I was in a games shop today, browsing around because I have some money to burn, and was listening to the two guys in this games store talk about LoW. Neither of them have played the game, but one didnt like what he heard. He was complaining about the game being ‘too arcadey’ for his liking. I tend to agree in this aspect, otherwise, I see little complaint. Sure, I’d like to see more Legends represented in the game than 42, but the addition of being able to import the wrestlers from SmackDown! vs RAW 2009 onto the game, makes up for that. Sure, pinfalls are a pain to kick out of, but if you are good enough at the game, you shouldnt be getting yourself in that position. This game doesnt have it all, but it gives those who love nostalgia the chance to have a blast from the past, and pit their favourite wrestlers of yesteryear against each other, or have dream matchups against the current day superstars. This game gets a 4 out of 5. Like I said, it could be improved in some places, but it’s easy to pick up controls, and the variety of wrestlers on the game, means a must for all wrestling fans.
Albert Park roars in the twilight
The Formula One season starts its 2009 in Melbourne, Australia at the Albert park street circuit this weekend, and for the first time in its history, it will be a twilight race, to ensure that European viewers can watch the race live, at a more convienent time for them. With new rules and guidelines, new drivers and teams, plus a later starting time, could make this version of the race, the most exciting race. Australian hopes lie with Mark Webber, who drives for Red Bull Racing. However, during the Mark Webber Challenge, held each year in Tasmania, Webber was struck by a four-wheel drive whilst on a mountain bike, and broke his leg. It hasnt affected his testing for Red Bull racing this year, but Webber says that is comfortable behind the wheel of his race car, and that the most trouble he has at the moment, is walking. For those, who may watch this race, look out for Ferrari’s pair of Kimi Raikkonen from Finland, and Felipe Massa from Brazil, Briton Lewis Hamilton, who drives a McLaren Mercedes and Renault driver, Fernando Alonso of Spain, to be the front runners.
Thats it for the first installment of Wednesday Night Delight. Your weekly fix is now complete.