Retro Post – Top 5 Theme Songs
2 CommentsHello to all you lovely men, women and children of the Bored Wrestling Fan community! I thought it might be fun to post an article straight out of the “Jamie Kennedy Experiment” vaults for your perusal and this is something I’d quite like to do over the next couple of months! Of course, my writing style has really changed since some of these articles made it online and I’ve DEFINITELY become a better…ahem…broadcast journalist in the meantime.. I hope you enjoy!
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A number of merry months ago, I put together a piece of writing which I felt did justice my love and appreciation for what we as modern wrestling fans have come to take for granted; an entrance theme which accompanies each superstar down the aisle-way and into the ring. It wasn’t always this way, entrance music was reserved for the very top stars in the professional wrestling industry and even some of them didn’t get their own theme!
Themes or “feemz”, as the ever-witty internet wrestling community has dubbed them (due to the genuinely fascinating subject of some of our fellow fans dropping out of school.. Go figure, do all some of us have nothing better to do than bashing the product we watch and the people who view it alongside us!?), have become as much a part of the wrestling world as a referee who gets knocked out with even the slightest stray glance of a performers boot/elbow/hair/wind. There are people out there who collect theme music from each different promotion and for each wrestler and diva, which in my opinion is kinda cool. Yeah sure it’s geeky but it’s no more or less geeky than your film fanatic friend who downloads movie soundtracks every weekend. CD albums have been produced by several of the big player promotions in the business in a rather successful attempt to cash in on their fans obsession with the tunes and songs which signal the arrival of a particular grappler. Yours truly has purchased several of these and would now like to take the time to discuss and name his top 5 favourite entrance themes. Some of these you will agree with, some of these you will detest. Either way, I’m anticipating some heavy emailage from a bunch of you channeling the spirit of YOUR United States Heavyweight champion “The Miz” and asking me – “Really? REALLY!?”
As always, in absolutely no particular order.. (Simply because this writer is really rather rubbish at deciding which things he likes better than others when it comes to wrestling. Seriously, you should see me trying to decide what VHS or DVD to watch. It’d probably irritate the hell out of several of you less nerdy than myself! However, to hell with you! And gimme my damn lunch money back!)
“ I Won’t Do What You Tell Me” – Stone Cold Steve Austin
This one, for me at least, is a no brainer. I’m far from ashamed to say I still mark out with my mark out whenever I hear this song. This is perhaps THE song for entering any room full of strangers. Of course I would never be quite that pathetic but I can dream nonetheless about being immediately surrounded by babes upon walking through the door. The glass breaking has been the cause of many a huge pop from live WWF/WWE audiences throughout the years. You need look no further than effectively any episode of RAW, Smackdown or indeed any Pay-Per-View event which Steve Austin has headlined or appeared at while using this music. Wailing sirens, dangerous sounding guitar chords and a menacing tone all make this a strong contender for one of the best pieces of wrestling theme music ever written. Go on, go to YouTube, look up the song, listen and just tell me you don’t feel like a genuine bad ass who could stand up to your evil billionaire boss and make him even richer through PPV revenue, merchandise and live attendance. In the late 90’s, Stone Cold was the man and a lot of credit must go to the music which told us he was in the house. What a performer. What a tune.
“ Schizophrenic” and “Ode To Freud” – Mankind
It’s hard to explain just how awesome a gimmick the original Mankind character was upon his arrival into the then World Wrestling Federation. Clearly, upon reading Mick Foley’s very first book, the gimmick would never have met the success it experienced had the WWF writers had their way. “Mason The Mutilator” indeed guys and gals.. Mick Foley would enter arenas up and down the US and abroad to a sinister, slow dirge of strings which would never fail to make people pay attention. The true success of any character in the wrestling industry can be based on how the people react when they see the man or woman portraying it. Make no mistake about it, fans had a mixture of intrigue and sheer horror as they watched “Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy” stumble down to ringside ready to put his body through hell. And after the massacre? Well it’s only logical to have a beautifully haunting piece of piano music signal the exit of Mankind right? That Foley, he sure did have some exciting and damn good ideas in his head. One thing’s for sure though, the quick one and two punch of these musical pieces have to be on my list of favourite wrestling theme songs.
“ Bad Guy” – Razor Ramon
Here we have the first one of this here list which may surprise some folks. I know I have at least one wrestling-loving fiend of a buddy who is not entirely fond of the music which aided Scott Hall’s passage down to the squared circle during his highly successful first run in the WWF as “The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon. The screeching tire sound may have made its home more famously in a future theme of the previously mentioned Mick Foley but it is here that I prefer it. Suspiciously based on music from gang-related films such as “Scarface”, this song will forever hold a special place in my heart. The synth’s permeated through the track only add to the cool 80’s vibe which is given off here. The babyface-era Razor was one of my childhood favourites and this tune just rocked my Hulk Hogan/WWF brick logo socks right off.
“ Next Big Thing” – Brock Lesnar
It’s quite scary to think how far Mr. Lesnar has come since his departure from World Wrestling Entertainment in order to pursue a career in professional American football. Now one of the biggest names in the ultimate fighting world, there are a lot of wrestling fans who barely remember his forced-down-your-god-damn-throat dominance in the earlier part of this decade. Simply put, Lesnar was what John Cena is now. I.e, the man the WWE want you to accept as the “Next Big Thing” in wrestling. Brock actually went some way to achieving acceptance with the audiences of wrestling due to his rapidly improved performances both in-ring and from a verbal standpoint. No doubts about it, the crunching guitar riff and opening animalistic wail which open the theme song up let each and every fan know who was coming through that curtain. Personally, I’ve always been a fan of theme songs which perfectly accompany the character and can paint a picture of what they will look and act like. This one exactly captures Brock Lesnar as a WWE superstar in my mind. Oh how I long for the days of his never-coming return!
“ Break Down The Walls” – Chris Jericho
Another one which may shock some folks, this just has to be included. In order for it to work however, we have to stick the outrageous “Y2K” countdown in at the very beginning. This is wrestling theatre at it’s finest. What better way to announce that a certain superstar is coming out than to have his very own countdown clock and forthcoming explosion?! The song itself is none too shabby and features lyrics which can be grabbed and stuck into the fans collective skulls. If ever Chris Jericho needed a theme song which would help him mark his passage from World Championship Wrestling and into the World Wrestling Federation, this was it. The drama which was created and the buzz which floated in the air when Jericho made his entrance was only enhanced by this terrific wrestling theme tune.
So there you have it. Obviously, as always with these top 5’s, I had to pick and choose here. There are many, many, MANY other theme songs which I am very, very, VERY fond of. Bret Hart, Goldust, John Cena, D’Lo Brown, Sid, Ted DiBiase Sr. The list could quite literally go on and on forever with no end in sight. This writer had to simply pick the 5 which have stood out most to him in his experience of watching pro wrestling. The 5 themes which have made goosebumps appear all over my body in place you don’t want to hear about. What I do want to hear about however is what you think. I want to know which wrestling themes have inspired, entertained and downright made you excited to be a follower of the wonderful world of wrestling. Emails can be directed towards – jamiekennedy@live.com and we can discuss together like the real nerds we are. And we’re damn proud of it. TAKE IT HOME!