It wasn’t that long ago. Just a few weeks, actually. I jumped right on this very website right after WWE RAW SuperShow to rant about how they ruined a perfectly entertaining show with the introduction of John Laurinaitis as the interim RAW General Manager. Now, I’m right back here after what many are saying was a terrible episode of RAW, and finding myself in a less than familiar situation – one where I’m not a cynical asshole.
Personally, I went on Twitter immediately after I watched last night’s show and mentioned that I felt like last night’s show was solid from top to bottom, and after re-watching it today with my wife I’m standing by that tweet. The fact is, the internet wrestling community (IWC) doesn’t know what they want. The same people who tune in to TNA and time the matches so they can jump on the internet and point out that there was only 10 minutes of wrestling in a two hour program are the same ones that I see right now saying that this episode of RAW, where the talking was kept to a minimum, was terrible.
Every performer on last night’s show put on a solid performance. The IWC doesn’t seem to think so, and I’d like to think that it’s because they’re so jaded about everything that the WWE does nowadays. John Cena has proven time and time again – despite the fact that I boo the hell out of his character – that he’s a solid performer and can have a good match with most of the guys on the roster, yet no matter how good of a match he has, you’ll still hear about the “five moves of doom.” The Divas have all been working very hard on their in-ring work, but as soon as they’re on television, the IWC collectively says “piss break!”
The biggest criticism I’ve seen of last night’s show was the ending. Oh no, “Super Cena” just beat Awesome Truth all by himself, why does he even need to bother with The Rock at Survivor Series? What show are you watching? Cena beat The Miz, then while Miz was incapacitated, R-Truth tried to attack him, but got caught and ate an AA for his trouble. That’s not Cena beating up two guys at once, that’s Cena beating two guys back to back. If it were Awesome Truth against Cena by himself, Cena gets beat down. See last week’s RAW for proof.
What bugs me is that if ROH did the exact same finish – let’s say with Davey Richards in the John Cena role, and members of The House of Truth in Awesome Truth’s place – these same people who are criticizing Cena would be praising Richards for outsmarting the opposition. You know I’m right.
This is what I want. I want all of my fellow members of the IWC to get off of their little cloud, and watch RAW back as a FAN and not as a cynical asshole desensitized to the business by the internet, and tell me what the hell was so wrong with last night’s show.
So tonight was MPX’s Scars and Tattoos. Right now I’m in reflection mode, but I think this might have been MPX’s best show top to bottom. It was hot. Duh! It’s July in Texas. The crowd was a little out of it because of the heat. There were hand-held fans for the crowd. It was a great idea. The crowd was very kid-saturated. This is a very smart plan because kids will make their parents come back. And at the end of the day, it’s all about them.
Kate welcoming the crowd
There were guard rails. It looked nice and professional. They were held together with bubble gum and chicken wire, but they were there. And they needed to be there. The night began with Kate introducing Mike Dolenz. He wanted to apologize to $Payday$ and Jiggle-O for putting them in a match last month. He was going to make it up to them by giving them a singles match for a title shot. Dolenz has improved nicely on the mic.
Mike Dolenz apologizing to $Payday$ & Jiggle-O
First match: $Payday$ vs. Jiggle-O Jim Johnson (for a future title shot)
Payday did his best to try to get the crowd going. The crowd has mass heatstroke so the crowd plants did their best to get the crowd going. The kids really love Payday. He is a great person to start off the night because of the reaction he gets. Payday is kind of like the Kofi Kingston of MPX. He’s always right and good. In this match, I was a little confused. Who do I go for? I like Jiggle-O and Payday.
Jiggle-0 working over $Payday$
The story was that they were both friends and just trying to win the belt. Jiggle-O faked an injury. He rolled up $Payday$ for the win.
Winner: Jiggle-O
Payday, being the great human being he is, raised Jiggle-O’s hand and was a good sport about it. Jiggle-O then took the mic and began to cut MPX’s version of “The Promo.” He channeled CM Punk very well. He didn’t give a damn about anybody or anything. He had never had a chance for a title shot. And he called Kate a “skank.” To describe this for anybody who’s never seen MPX, that would be like calling Miss Elizabeth a skank. I think it is the best heel promo I’ve heard in MPX (with respect to Kyle Davis).
Second match: Carrion Arcane w/Claudia vs. Danny Saint
It was nice to see Danny Saint again. He looks like he belongs in a WWE ring (hint, hint, Johnny Ace). He’s got the size and has a certain look about him. The two wrestled a very nice match. Claudia got a little too involved for my taste. As part of their feud, Kris Haiden walked out and abducted Claudia. Claudia is very over with the crowd as a heel. She is probably the number one heel in the company. The match was a little shorter than I would have like to have seen, but we got to see Saint get a nice win.
Winner: Saint
Third match: Cash & Carry (c) vs. Jinn & Lucha Lucha
As Cash & Carry develop more, the more they remind me of the Road Warriors. Now I’m not saying that they are on that level yet. But you have a strong, silent type (Animal) in Zach T and a charismatic, larger-than-life talker (Hawk) in BC. I see them emerging as a top tag team in Texas in the next few years are so. Jinn and Lucha have come so far in their ring work. Jinn is a big student of the game. You can tell he spends a lot of time perfecting his in-ring craft. We had a few “Holy s***” moments (in a good way) just from him. During the match, Kyle Valo walked to the ring and convinced Lucha to join Team Kyle.
Lucha Lucha joining Team Kyle
Winner: Cash & Carry
Cash & Carry with their postfight beatdown on Jinn
After the match, Cash & Carry continued to beat on Jinn and wanted to unmask Jinn. But Lucha got to do it and it was revealed as Seph Annunaki. I understand they used the unmasking to cement a heel turn, but I was kind of hoping for a mask vs. mask match. Maybe I can hope for mask vs. hair?
After that match, Frankie Fisher and Daniel came out to the ring. Daniel had gotten Frankie a birthday present to make up for Frankie losing last month to James Hawke. His birthday present was a match with Lance Hoyt. Note to self: Don’t befriend Daniel. Daniel is pretty good on the mic.
Fourth match: Frankie Fisher w/Daniel vs. Lance Hoyt
Lance Hoyt took the mic and cut a very nice promo getting the crowd up. The crowd was really in to this match.
Former WWE/TNA Superstar Lance Hoyt
Hoyt led the crowd in “Happy Birthday to You” while he beat Frankie down. Kudos to Hoyt for being able to go on before the intermission. Of course nobody could have ever followed the main event. You can tell Hoyt has lots of fun coming to MPX and doesn’t phone in anything. I also give props to MPX for being able to involve him in a storyline. He was very well-booked, and I think the crowd really loved this match. One highlight was Frankie hitting Hoyt with the yardstick. Hoyt turned around and no-sold it. Another highlight was Frankie going to the back and Hoyt going back to get him. Daniel held onto Hoyt’s leg and cost Hoyt the match.
Winner: Fisher (by countout)
This was brilliant. So now Frankie can say he has a victory over former WWE/TNA star Lance Hoyt. Ben Wylde debuted a new look with his longer hair (I liked) and Kyle Davis was channeling the Chris Jericho look. It was a good moment. At the intermission, Lance Hoyt signed some autographs and worked the merchandise table. Also, they are now having a fund to bring in Colt Cabana. I did not give because I don’t know if he’ll still be taking bookings in the near future (like, he might be WWE-bound). MPX, you bring him in, I’ll make my donations. If you don’t, there’s always Sunny. (hint, hint)
After the intermission, Mike Dolenz announced there would be a Tag Team Turmoil event in August.
Fifth match: Kenny Steele vs. Matt Palmer
I really enjoyed this match. Kenny seemed like he was focused on this match and didn’t do as much jaw-jacking with the crowd.
Matt Palmer preparing to face off Kenny Steele
This is a pretty hot feud. Both guys have such a magnetic charisma, both Steele as a heel and Palmer in whatever he does. Steele is about 2-3 years from being one of the most talked-about talents in Texas. Palmer is already one of the top names in Anarchy Championship Wrestling in Austin. ROH, Chikara, Dragon Gate USA, go find yourself some Matt Palmer matches on Youtube or www.smartmarkvideo.com. It’s time to see him on a larger platform. Steele hit the referee Tony (who worked 6 of 7 matches last night) who disqualified him.
Winner: Palmer by DQ
After the match, security had to hold them back from each other. Matt Palmer did a plancha on the security guys and Steele earning the first “That was awesome” chant of the night. After that, we were treated to a special Hot Topics featuring Kyle Valo and his new members Regrub and Lucha. Regrub had a nice, sleek-looking outfit, and apparently, of all things, hair. They invited James Hawke to the ring and to become a new member of Team Kyle. This segment got “real” very quickly. They used people’s “real” names without giving away their secret identities. John Cena James Hawke said over his dead body. A match was made between Regrub and Hawke.
Sixth match: Regrub vs. James Hawke w/Ryan Gauge as special guest referee
Regrub at one point took off his straps and that drew out the biggest reaction of the crowd that night. I really liked the finish of this match. Hawke had him in the STFU and Valo went up to the ring apron and distracted Gauge. Hawke went over to talk to Gauge and Regrub held Hawke’s tights. Gauge counted two, noticed he had a hold on his tights and counted to three anyway. He took off his shirt and sure enough, Gauge was wearing a Team Kyle t-shirt. So now Team Kyle is officially a faction. I know I tease James Hawke about being John Cena, but this was definitely not Cena. Really nicely-done angle.
Winner: Regrub
Seventh match: Kris Haiden vs. Viktor Tadlock
This was a very intense stiff match between these two. Any other night, this would have been match of the night. The bell didn’t ring until about 2 minutes into the match. They didn’t get in the ring. Tadlock had a red, “I’ve-Just-Faced-an-Angry-Scott-Murdoch” chest. The two had such a nice intensity and energy. Tadlock took the mic and offered to quit wrestling if he would just tell him where Claudia was. Haiden gave him a Clothesline From Hell that would make JBL impressed.
I’m going to be honest. I don’t remember who won this. I’ll say it was Haiden. There was a fireball from Arcane. They sold this like Arcane had just done a fireball in Haiden’s face. Kyle Davis was angry and ready to take on all of them at once. They helped Haiden to the back and Nemesis (Arcane & Tadlock) went in search of Claudia.
Main event: “Headbanger” Gregory James (c) vs. WASP w/Kyle Valo
Right now, this is MPX’s Match of the Year. This is an example of how a hot crowd can make a match. There was a chairshot from Hell from Headbanger on WASP. (I hope WASP is ok.) The two did their part of brawling in the crowd, but there was also a lot of really good in-ring action. WASP is so big that any move he does that involves agility looks like a Holy s*** moment. During the match, Gregory climbed on the bars that hold the weights up and did a dive onto WASP. This evoked the SECOND “That was awesome” chant of the night. A major highlight of the match was the guitar/mandolin. They kept on building up the drama of who was going to get it. It ended up being WASP who took it and was busted up. We also saw Kyle Valo take a Van Terminator from Headbanger. Headbanger is about a year or two away from being noticed by a Chikara or ROH. Both these guys abused their bodies and I do not think I’ve seen a crowd this much into a match. Headbanger won after using a washcloth soaked in chloroform.
Winner: Headbanger
Top to bottom, I think this is MPX’s best show. Every match meant something and led to something else. Now MPX has left lots of questions open: Will Jiggle-O finally get his chance to win a championship? Where’s Claudia? Do we get to see Seph again? Why did he quit? And why did he come back as Seph? Will Fisher be able to take on Colt Cabana? What about this Tag Team Turmoil?
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