Unlike most Mondays, I wasn’t home for the first 30 minutes of RAW. The only thing I know about tonight’s episode is that The Wyatt Family were trending on Twitter before the show even started. That said, I feel like crap, haven’t been home in over 24 hours, and I’m hoping I don’t fall asleep in the tattoo chair tomorrow while getting inked. Fuck it, let’s go!
Stuff, stuff, stuff and stuff, history and stuff and stuff, people, people, someone’s name, history and sports. Big disaster, someone’s name, stuff and stuff and stuff and stuff, history, someone’s name, something I don’t know. Famous guy, movie star, don’t know who these people are, stuff and stuff and history, yelling really loud at me. Yes. That’s how many fucks I give right now. Also, I play by my own rules. Screw you, SmackDown review!
We open with Steve and Bobby walking into the arena (from separate entrances of course). For some reason Roode step out of the pyro room which makes me wonder. We get a vignette of Roode vs Sting going into Victory Road this Sunday.
James Storm our official TNA redneck comes out to make an inring promo about his eventual confrontation in a steel cage with the aforementioned Roode. I smell a slobber knocker coming this April. Just as Storm’s finishes Bully Ray comes out. He taughts the #1 contender tellling him that he won’t make it to Lockdown. And just when we think a fight is about to break out Ray calls out Gunner to take his licks. After a couple of punches the security groupies rush the ramp to separate the two, during the insueing ruckus Ray gets in a cheap shot.
Another Bobby Roode vignette about Sting.
Madison and Gail argue about losing the tag titles which they really weren’t defending, but i digress. They confront Sting who tells them that he’s busy dealing with Roode. He sets up two matches Gail vs Mickie and Madison vs Velvet Sky, Rayne’s match is next.
Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky:
Madison composes herself on the ramp before cutting into her Killer Queen gimmick, which by the way needs to change but “hearts” to her anyway. Velvet comes out next shaking her pom poms and just as she is ready to staddle a rope for pigeons, she darts toward Rayne spear first. Early on Sky has the advantage with her assorted moves of doom until Madison gets the upper and due to a ref who can’t keep his hands off the knockout. Then the crowd gets behind Velvet which comes out like a druid chant for a death march. I laugh and die on the inside. No offense to the Madison haters but I’m behind her as her move set and more diversified. Anyway after a rollup by Sky which is reversed into another roll up with tights for the win.
Crimson is smug backstage bragging about the win over the two Robs, which is as brag worthy as breathing. After Morgan questions Crimson’s motives about winning belts and making money they head out.
Samoa Joe vs Crimson:
A short match to show that Crimson/Morgan are on the same page and another loss for Joe with Magnus looking weaker even by comparison when he attempts to attack Morgan on the outside only to get irish whipped into the ring post.
Austin Aries comes out and shows his X division champion reel and brags about being the longest reigning X Division champion exceeding the previous record of 182 days set by Christopher Daniels. Celebrating aside out comes Zema Ion, after some exchanges about breaking necks and nut hair growth, Ion gives the toast right before he throws a drink in is face. Aries answers back by dousing Ion in the hole bottle ruining his pretty hair.
Gail Kim vs Mickie James:
There was promos with Sting going on about crowing and craziness but ehh. Mickie and Gail continue to prove their previous WWE stint match was a fluke which they have been trying to allevate through superior matches. This one is no different. After Gail messes with Mickie’s knee we have a methodical attack which culminates with Mickie making a comeback but Kim out smarting her with a belt to the face. she scores the win. heel syle.
We have a watercooler or Lemonade talk according to Anderson about his involvement with AJ Styles. Daniels is curious why he’s taking Styles side which I had the same question because the story looked to be going good til last week. When Kazarian went from unwilling pawn to bitter assistant to all an out heel which now makes this story seem trite. But we have a match between the Daniels and Anderson to hype.
Daniels vs Anderson:
Anderson knocks off some ring rust with Daniels as he seems to not miss a step. Daniels bumps like a madman. Anderson and Daniels battle and during the melee Chris cuts his cheek. Kazarian comes down to the ring to distract Anderson only for AJ to come to the rescue Daniels gets up only to take a mic check. Anderson wins and prepares for Victory Road.
Jeff Hardy prattles on about Angle being an Olympic gold medalist. and his creatures. Speaking of Angle
Garett and Angle have a five minute challenge match which I assume (and you know what they say about assuming) will make Bitchoff (not my words but Angle’s) look good. And I guess that old adiom about is right not only does Garett look good but it also hypes Hardy vs Angle this Sunday when Hardy comes out to save Garett when Angle who’s angry about not beating Garett in time locks him in the ankle lock.
The Two Robs are interviewed by Wonder Years and talk about the upcoming open invitational. Yeah TV title on the line and the person is random. Here’s to an eventual title change so we can have some actual competiton. One can hope right.
James Storm vs Gunner:
Here are two back woods southern wrestlers on the opposing sides of the heel/face tangent. What we have so far is a good match between two competitors with Bully Ray egging on the Gunner. But Gunner gets the job done and by that he takes a Last Call to the face. Making James Storm look strong going into Victory Road.
Sting and Bobby Roode have their contract signing which is where Roode rips into Sting with all his worth for a good 8 minutes. All the while Sting sits patiently listening untl Bobby turns to leave. Sting flips the table over kicks over the chairs and puts on his makeup and attacks the champion. And while beating on the Roode he applies his trademark black paint to Roode’s face. After Roode scurries out of the ring face ashen from the paint sting gets enpowered by his attack.
MPX had a really nice show tonight. I took Mother Ruff since Mrs. Ruff bailed on me at the last minute (something about a Ryan Gosling movie I DVR’d for her). It was cold outside but not so cold inside. The crowd took a while to warm up. MPX had some debuts and returns and continued with some storylines.
First match: Zach T. w/BC & Viktor Tadlock w/Claudia vs. Li Fang & Seph Annunaki w/James Hawke
As you can tell, this thing was totally on sensory overload. Seph had a much improved ring presence and was a lot more polished in the ring this week. To me, the highlight of the match was Machiko walking out to ringside (*swoon*) and observing yet again. I like Li Fang’s style. He incorporates a certain martial arts style that makes him unique. Unfortunately for the wrestlers the crowd was dead. There was a lot going on outside the ring that I think took away from the match inside the ring. Seph lost when he got CLOCKED by Zach T.
Winner: Zach & Tadlock
Second match: Danny Saint w/Kristopher Haiden vs. Regrub w/Team Kyle
I liked the build-up they are giving the Haiden/Saint vs. Team Kyle tag match. Saint has a great look and, especially with the head shaved, he looks like a wrestler you would see on Raw (hint, hint, WWE). I have seen these two have some not-so-good matches. I thought this one was pretty decent. Regrub had a botch, but I thought the wrestlers played it off pretty well. Choice went over and told him to focus. Then he botched again and Saint put him in a submission hold and Regrub tapped out.
Winner: Saint
There was a brief vignette where Murdoch threatened Barrett Brown in the back. Short and painless.
Third match: $Payday$ vs. Kenny Steele
It has been fun to watch $Payday$ & Kenny Steele grow as workers over the past year or so. This was a fun match. $Payday$ played a great face and Kenny played a great heel. It was everything wrestling should be. This was also the match that the crowd awoke. I also liked the story they told here. I wrote down that I think this is the best match I have seen either have. Kenny cheated by using the ropes.
Winner: Steele
Fourth match: Barrett Brown vs. “Headbanger” Gregory James
I think I can very confidently say that this is Top 5 for best matches in MPX history. They both came out wearing each others’ t-shirts. I liked the little story there of mutual respect. Headbanger is getting so much better in the ring. He is taking every opportunity to wrestle everywhere he can and work on his experience. That’s what is keeping a few other wrestlers in MPX from making it to the next level. You can tell the difference in between where he is now and where he was a year ago. Barrett also took some really sickening bumps. He has so much committed-ness to his work. This was also the best work I have seen come from Barrett. The finish was Frankie coming out and whallopping Barrett Brown in the head with a chair.
Winner by dq: Brown
Really good match. During the intermission, we had the lovely Ms. Valentine (wearing an awful blond wig) handing out Valentines and candy. (Psst… Ms. Valentine is very naturally pretty and doesn’t need a blond wig.) Then Claudia came out and was going to give her a very special gift. She was going to kiss her and moments before we went to Hot Lesbian Action, Claudia attacked her. I liked the attack angle, but Ms. Valentine came out looking like a combination between 1990 Sting and Al Wilson. But I like them having women’s wrestling so I’m looking forward to their feud.
“Just” James Johnson came out after the intermission with “Killer” Kody Kox. He announced that he got a contract for a title shot. All he had to do was beat anybody he chose. So Jason Silver came out (which how is it I’ve still never seen him wrestle?) and accepted Johnson’s challenge. The thing was that Johnson wasn’t going to wrestle Silver. He was going to choose someone randomly out of the crowd a la Andy Kaufman. He played around with the crowd for a little bit before choosing someone.
Fifth match: “Just” James Johnson vs. “Jennifer”
He found this woman om the crowd he chose. She looked annoyed but got in the ring with him. They sized each other up and he swung, she ducked and then did a spinning heel kick. He was out for the count.
Winner: Jennifer
Kate interviewed the mysterious woman in the ring who revealed she had studied martial arts all his life. Fun story, and Mr. Johnson made the rest of us husbands look bad.
Sixth match: Scott Murdoch & Billy Club vs. BC w/Zach T & Zero the Antihero
This was Billy Club’s MPX debut. I was happy to see him since I like what I’ve seen out of him before. Scott Murdoch does not wrestle. He destroys (in a good way). He knows how to use the ring as a weapon and it offers a realistic looking match. BC was upset to be partnered up with Zero. Zero makes the Payton-less Colts look like the ’72 Dolphins. Murdoch started off the match by saying “Say it with your chest.” Then he did the Scott Murdoch chops of doom. Zero did a nice job of putting over his opponent. BC did the heel thing of not wanting to get in there. Murdoch and Club worked really well and then out of nowhere Murdoch turned on him. BC & Zero got the win.
Winner: BC & Zero
Zero won a match, even if it were as part of a tag team. After the match, there was the Arcane-Wylde standoff. Ben had a very funny monologue but he didn’t quite have the crowd hanging on his words. He hasn’t cut many promos before the crowd so it wasn’t bad for a first promo. Gauging the crowd is something that takes time. If Arcane wins, Wylde goes over to his side. If Wylde wins, Arcane goes over to the “Wylde” side. Then Viktor Tadlock took the mic, said Claudia messed up everything and split from Arcane. Tadlock is such a natural heel; I hope he’s not face too long.
Seventh match: Kristopher Haiden w/Danny Saint vs. The Choice Matt Andrews & Ryan Gauge w/Team Kyle
So this was supposed to be Choice-Haiden but it became a handicap match. I hate handicap matches, but I digress. The work was just fine in this match. Haiden has been working on losing that extra holiday weight. The story was pretty fun in that Choice wanted to keep Gauge in the ring and not him. This was good build-up for the tag title match. Andrews won by pulling the tights.
Winner: Andrews & Gauge
Main event: WASP vs. Frankie Fisher
I really liked the feel to this. This match was about revenge. WASP came out with $Payday$ and told him he was serious and to go to the back. He cut a really nice promo about how Frankie had attacked Andy Dalton and he considered Andy Dalton a close friend. And he was going to soften Frankie up for the Headbanger. What is interesting is that I have seen these two wrestle before and they had a completely different match than they did this night. This was a brutal match (but not to watch). The Headbanger distracted Frankie long enough for WASP to take the win.
Winner: WASP
GM Mike Dolenz came out and since Frankie had laid his hands on Headbanger the last show, Headbanger would be able to choose the stipulation. He chose First Blood.
All in all… A good showing from MPX. The main event was good, $Payday$-Steele was good, Brown-Headbanger is equal to anything you might see on an ROH iPPV. The build-up is going pretty good for this “Fight to Survive” show.
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