I’m trying to find a place to start with this and it’s just not happening. So forgive me for being a little disjointed in starting here. I have my favorite promos. Anything that comes out of Mick Foley’s or Ric Flair’s mouth. I remember Al Snow cutting a promo in the ECW days before a big match that was so quiet and to the point and great. There was Roddy Piper at Halloween Havoc in 1996. And of course there was CM Punk’s “The Promo” where I couldn’t sleep that night because I couldn’t decide if it was a work or not. Guys could make you hate them with a short 5-minute promo like Owen Hart, Jerry Lawler or Bubba Ray Dudley. Or the guys who could have you eating out of their hand like Jake “The Snake”, The Rock or Dusty Rhodes.
This week, a great promo joined the ranks of the best ever. Eddie Kingston cut a promo that is probably the best of the year. And that’s on a year where you had CM Punk’s “The Promo,” CM Punk honoring Gregory Iron at AAW and HHH-Taker stare-down when both made their returns at the same time building up Wrestlemania. (I wrote a Facebook status after that where I said “Cut the promo. And if necessary, use words.”)
After Punk’s “The Promo,” a lot of the Internet Wrestling Community (IWC) used the phrase “talking people into the building. ” This Eddie Kingston promo does exactly that. Around Money in the Bank, there were so many great promos on Raw, not just from Punk. John Cena also cut some good promos during that time. He didn’t sound like the 10-year-old trying to get the other 10-year-olds on his side at the playground. He sounded legitimate and that he believed what he was saying. But some nights he just sounds like he’s reciting lines.
When I hear that Eddie Kingston promo, I hear something I don’t hear very often on WWE television… passion. And I’m not saying that John Cena doesn’t have any passion. I see that passion when he walks out to the ring every time. But I just don’t hear his passion through his promos. You can only believe somebody’s else’s thoughts so much. Even the great actors-Kevin Spacey, Robert DeNiro, Meryl Streep, Susan Sarandon-you can tell when they are playing a role and when they are not in character. The problem is that too many times, John Cena sounds like the guy you see on The Marine and not the athlete you go for on your local sports team, which is who he should be.
What I would love is for WWE to bring back the passion. Stop scripting stuff for the boys to say. I’m ok with rehearsing, but let them say what they want. After you watch this Eddie Kingston promo, you can’t live without seeing High Noon. When was the last time we wanted to see a WWE pay-per-view that much?
It wasn’t that long ago. Just a few weeks, actually. I jumped right on this very website right after WWE RAW SuperShow to rant about how they ruined a perfectly entertaining show with the introduction of John Laurinaitis as the interim RAW General Manager. Now, I’m right back here after what many are saying was a terrible episode of RAW, and finding myself in a less than familiar situation – one where I’m not a cynical asshole.
Personally, I went on Twitter immediately after I watched last night’s show and mentioned that I felt like last night’s show was solid from top to bottom, and after re-watching it today with my wife I’m standing by that tweet. The fact is, the internet wrestling community (IWC) doesn’t know what they want. The same people who tune in to TNA and time the matches so they can jump on the internet and point out that there was only 10 minutes of wrestling in a two hour program are the same ones that I see right now saying that this episode of RAW, where the talking was kept to a minimum, was terrible.
Every performer on last night’s show put on a solid performance. The IWC doesn’t seem to think so, and I’d like to think that it’s because they’re so jaded about everything that the WWE does nowadays. John Cena has proven time and time again – despite the fact that I boo the hell out of his character – that he’s a solid performer and can have a good match with most of the guys on the roster, yet no matter how good of a match he has, you’ll still hear about the “five moves of doom.” The Divas have all been working very hard on their in-ring work, but as soon as they’re on television, the IWC collectively says “piss break!”
The biggest criticism I’ve seen of last night’s show was the ending. Oh no, “Super Cena” just beat Awesome Truth all by himself, why does he even need to bother with The Rock at Survivor Series? What show are you watching? Cena beat The Miz, then while Miz was incapacitated, R-Truth tried to attack him, but got caught and ate an AA for his trouble. That’s not Cena beating up two guys at once, that’s Cena beating two guys back to back. If it were Awesome Truth against Cena by himself, Cena gets beat down. See last week’s RAW for proof.
What bugs me is that if ROH did the exact same finish – let’s say with Davey Richards in the John Cena role, and members of The House of Truth in Awesome Truth’s place – these same people who are criticizing Cena would be praising Richards for outsmarting the opposition. You know I’m right.
This is what I want. I want all of my fellow members of the IWC to get off of their little cloud, and watch RAW back as a FAN and not as a cynical asshole desensitized to the business by the internet, and tell me what the hell was so wrong with last night’s show.
Hello to all you lovely men, women and children of the Bored Wrestling Fan community! I thought it might be fun to post an article straight out of the “Jamie Kennedy Experiment” vaults for your perusal and this is something I’d quite like to do over the next couple of months! Of course, my writing style has really changed since some of these articles made it online and I’ve DEFINITELY become a better…ahem…broadcast journalist in the meantime.. I hope you enjoy!
A number of merry months ago, I put together a piece of writing which I felt did justice my love and appreciation for what we as modern wrestling fans have come to take for granted; an entrance theme which accompanies each superstar down the aisle-way and into the ring. It wasn’t always this way, entrance music was reserved for the very top stars in the professional wrestling industry and even some of them didn’t get their own theme!
Themes or “feemz”, as the ever-witty internet wrestling community has dubbed them (due to the genuinely fascinating subject of some of our fellow fans dropping out of school.. Go figure, do all some of us have nothing better to do than bashing the product we watch and the people who view it alongside us!?), have become as much a part of the wrestling world as a referee who gets knocked out with even the slightest stray glance of a performers boot/elbow/hair/wind. There are people out there who collect theme music from each different promotion and for each wrestler and diva, which in my opinion is kinda cool. Yeah sure it’s geeky but it’s no more or less geeky than your film fanatic friend who downloads movie soundtracks every weekend. CD albums have been produced by several of the big player promotions in the business in a rather successful attempt to cash in on their fans obsession with the tunes and songs which signal the arrival of a particular grappler. Yours truly has purchased several of these and would now like to take the time to discuss and name his top 5 favourite entrance themes. Some of these you will agree with, some of these you will detest. Either way, I’m anticipating some heavy emailage from a bunch of you channeling the spirit of YOUR United States Heavyweight champion “The Miz” and asking me – “Really? REALLY!?”
As always, in absolutely no particular order.. (Simply because this writer is really rather rubbish at deciding which things he likes better than others when it comes to wrestling. Seriously, you should see me trying to decide what VHS or DVD to watch. It’d probably irritate the hell out of several of you less nerdy than myself! However, to hell with you! And gimme my damn lunch money back!)
“I Won’t Do What You Tell Me” – Stone Cold Steve Austin
This one, for me at least, is a no brainer. I’m far from ashamed to say I still mark out with my mark out whenever I hear this song. This is perhaps THE song for entering any room full of strangers. Of course I would never be quite that pathetic but I can dream nonetheless about being immediately surrounded by babes upon walking through the door. The glass breaking has been the cause of many a huge pop from live WWF/WWE audiences throughout the years. You need look no further than effectively any episode of RAW, Smackdown or indeed any Pay-Per-View event which Steve Austin has headlined or appeared at while using this music. Wailing sirens, dangerous sounding guitar chords and a menacing tone all make this a strong contender for one of the best pieces of wrestling theme music ever written. Go on, go to YouTube, look up the song, listen and just tell me you don’t feel like a genuine bad ass who could stand up to your evil billionaire boss and make him even richer through PPV revenue, merchandise and live attendance. In the late 90’s, Stone Cold was the man and a lot of credit must go to the music which told us he was in the house. What a performer. What a tune.
“ Schizophrenic” and “Ode To Freud” – Mankind
It’s hard to explain just how awesome a gimmick the original Mankind character was upon his arrival into the then World Wrestling Federation. Clearly, upon reading Mick Foley’s very first book, the gimmick would never have met the success it experienced had the WWF writers had their way. “Mason The Mutilator” indeed guys and gals.. Mick Foley would enter arenas up and down the US and abroad to a sinister, slow dirge of strings which would never fail to make people pay attention. The true success of any character in the wrestling industry can be based on how the people react when they see the man or woman portraying it. Make no mistake about it, fans had a mixture of intrigue and sheer horror as they watched “Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy” stumble down to ringside ready to put his body through hell. And after the massacre? Well it’s only logical to have a beautifully haunting piece of piano music signal the exit of Mankind right? That Foley, he sure did have some exciting and damn good ideas in his head. One thing’s for sure though, the quick one and two punch of these musical pieces have to be on my list of favourite wrestling theme songs.
“ Bad Guy” – Razor Ramon
Here we have the first one of this here list which may surprise some folks. I know I have at least one wrestling-loving fiend of a buddy who is not entirely fond of the music which aided Scott Hall’s passage down to the squared circle during his highly successful first run in the WWF as “The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon. The screeching tire sound may have made its home more famously in a future theme of the previously mentioned Mick Foley but it is here that I prefer it. Suspiciously based on music from gang-related films such as “Scarface”, this song will forever hold a special place in my heart. The synth’s permeated through the track only add to the cool 80’s vibe which is given off here. The babyface-era Razor was one of my childhood favourites and this tune just rocked my Hulk Hogan/WWF brick logo socks right off.
“ Next Big Thing” – Brock Lesnar
It’s quite scary to think how far Mr. Lesnar has come since his departure from World Wrestling Entertainment in order to pursue a career in professional American football. Now one of the biggest names in the ultimate fighting world, there are a lot of wrestling fans who barely remember his forced-down-your-god-damn-throat dominance in the earlier part of this decade. Simply put, Lesnar was what John Cena is now. I.e, the man the WWE want you to accept as the “Next Big Thing” in wrestling. Brock actually went some way to achieving acceptance with the audiences of wrestling due to his rapidly improved performances both in-ring and from a verbal standpoint. No doubts about it, the crunching guitar riff and opening animalistic wail which open the theme song up let each and every fan know who was coming through that curtain. Personally, I’ve always been a fan of theme songs which perfectly accompany the character and can paint a picture of what they will look and act like. This one exactly captures Brock Lesnar as a WWE superstar in my mind. Oh how I long for the days of his never-coming return!
“ Break Down The Walls” – Chris Jericho
Another one which may shock some folks, this just has to be included. In order for it to work however, we have to stick the outrageous “Y2K” countdown in at the very beginning. This is wrestling theatre at it’s finest. What better way to announce that a certain superstar is coming out than to have his very own countdown clock and forthcoming explosion?! The song itself is none too shabby and features lyrics which can be grabbed and stuck into the fans collective skulls. If ever Chris Jericho needed a theme song which would help him mark his passage from World Championship Wrestling and into the World Wrestling Federation, this was it. The drama which was created and the buzz which floated in the air when Jericho made his entrance was only enhanced by this terrific wrestling theme tune.
So there you have it. Obviously, as always with these top 5’s, I had to pick and choose here. There are many, many, MANY other theme songs which I am very, very, VERY fond of. Bret Hart, Goldust, John Cena, D’Lo Brown, Sid, Ted DiBiase Sr. The list could quite literally go on and on forever with no end in sight. This writer had to simply pick the 5 which have stood out most to him in his experience of watching pro wrestling. The 5 themes which have made goosebumps appear all over my body in place you don’t want to hear about. What I do want to hear about however is what you think. I want to know which wrestling themes have inspired, entertained and downright made you excited to be a follower of the wonderful world of wrestling. Emails can be directed towards – jamiekennedy@live.com and we can discuss together like the real nerds we are. And we’re damn proud of it. TAKE IT HOME!
Holy new champions, Batman! While my predictions for Extreme Rules didn’t really pan out too well – and neither did the PPV itself, for that matter – the company was definitely shaken up. 48 hours after I posted last week’s ThinkSoJoE’s thoughts, four Championships were in the hands of somebody different. In fact, there were FIVE title changes in that span. If that doesn’t set the tone for a big week in professional wrestling, I don’t know what does.
During our Extreme Rules coverage on Sunday, Drowgoddess and I pondered the fact that Batista hadn’t climbed the cage once in the buildup leading to his match at Extreme Rules against Randy Orton. He didn’t climb the cage at all during the match either, yet still won the WWE Championship. After the fact, we found out that Batista had been injured before the show and was scheduled for surgery two days later. It was originally believed to be a torn bicep, which is a very severe injury, but the word going around is it’s just a torn tendon, not nearly as severe. WWE, however, says that it’s a torn bicep, which is leading some Internet Wrestling Community pundits to speculate that it’s a coverup for a wellness policy violation. What do I think? I think WWE is lying to us, not to cover up an injury, but to add more impact to Batista’s earlier than expected return. They’ve been doing this for a few years now – John Cena at the Royal Rumble in 2007 comes to mind. If he did fail a drug test, I seriously doubt they’d have given him the WWE Championship the day before his suspension kicked in.
Speaking of the WWE’s wellness policy, the roster is one Superstar shorter than it was last week as Umaga was released for failing a second drug test and refusing to go to rehab. The IWC is comparing this to Jeff Hardy’s termination from WWE several years ago for some reason. TNA is apparently interested in bringing in Umaga once his 90 day no-compete clause is up.
The WWE roster is actually one Diva shorter as well, as Vickie Guerrero has given her notice and officially quit as RAW General Manager last week. The new GM is scheduled to be named this week on the three hour edition of RAW, which happens to eminate from Charlotte, NC. I’ll give you one guess as to who the IWC “journalists” expect to be the chosen one. I’ll also tell you why it won’t be who you’d expect. The standard recovery time for the The Randy Orton Super Magic Mega Kick of Final Ultimate Death!!!is around four months. Ric Flair was hit with the move a mere two weeks ago. There’s no way the WWE is going to try and make us believe that a 60 year old man managed to come back from the devestating move quicker than Triple H or Batista did. I’m not going to make a guess as to who it will be, but I’m willing to bet that it’s not Flair.
BoredWrestlingFan.com turned 1 this past Tuesday, and in the 369 days we’ve been around, we have never once mentioned Combat Zone Wrestling. There’s probably a pretty good reason for that, but reports have come in that a CZW wrestler was severely injured doing one of the “company’s” patented light tube spots. According to reports, a wrestler by the name of Nick Gage severed a main artery after taking a bump on a light tube. Gage never passed out, instead running to the back in a panic before being air lifted to a local hospital. It’s said that he lost a lot of blood, and not really knowing what to do the wrestlers started an impromptu battle royal. The card was apparently taking place in one of the wrestlers’ parents back yard, which is probably why this is the first time we’ve ever mentioned CZW here. Don’t worry though folks, thankfully CZW’s website reports that Gage is going to be ok.
Rumor was making it’s way through WWE this past week that Rey Mysterio was leaving the company. These rumors appear to be unfounded as it’s been reported that Rey just wanted the week off.
Speaking of taking time off, John Cena came home early from the WWE’s tour of Mexico amidst rumors that he was getting married. It was, in fact, his brother that tied the knot. Cena is allegedly getting married in July.
Not a lot of TNA news this week, but what do you expect when the company tapes a month of shows in two nights? Supposedly a wrestling website reported that new TNA Knockout Tara (formerly known as Victoria in the WWE) had an affair with Chris Benoit before the tragic murder suicide that ended the life of Benoit, wife Nancy, and son Daniel. Tara got wind of the report and denies everything, even challenging the site that started the rumor to come to her hometown and watch her take a lie detector test. It’s about time somebody who didn’t like something somebody on the internet said about them actually did something about it.
That’s about it for this week, but before I go, an interesting couple of tidbits – Batista’s win at Extreme Rules was the first time in WWE history that the WWE Championship has changed hands in a traditional steel cage match. Also, the span between last Monday (June 1st) and this past Sunday (June 7th) is the first time that the WWE, ECW, World Heavyweight, Intercontinental, and United States Championships all changed hands within a week.
That’s it for me folks, stay tuned tomorrow for an all new Random Randomness from JT!
Raven, Kennedy, and Striker – OH MY! Let’s get started.
Monday night on RAW, Mr. Kennedy returned to the WWE after being out for a very long period of time with an injury. What followed was not nearly as surprising – he injured himself in his first match back. The fans at the Staples Center seemed to enjoy his presense, but that wasn’t enough for the WWE to keep wasting their time with MISTEEERRRRRRR INJURY PRONE!
INJURY PRONE!
Kennedy was back for four days before WWE decided to release him from his contract. Do you think that TNA would take him, or is he now resigned to work as MISTEEEERRRRRRR FRY COOK?
5/30/09 UPDATE: Rumor flying around is that Randy Orton had some kind of discussion backstage with Mr. Kennedy following RAW, that Orton has considerable influence in the company, and these factors may have been what led to Mr. Kennedy’s release.
ECW color commentator Matt Striker is the center of controversy this week as alleged nude photos of the school teacher turned professional wrestler began circulating the internet. Internet Wrestling Community pundits are beginning to wonder if this is the sort of thing that could cost Striker his cushy World Wrestling Entertainment job. In my opinion, if Disney kept that High School Musical girl after her nude pics leaked, WWE will certainly keep Striker.
Buff Bagwell did an interview recently where he said he’d work for WWE for free, and if TNA called him, he’d listen. Does this guy seriously think he’s got a shot at WWE again? He was there for all of a week before they fired his ass the first time around.
AOL and Time Warner are set to dissolve their merger after nearly a decade. Could this mean a new wrestling organization under the direction of Ted Turner is now possible?
WWE has now changed the name of the Unforgiven Pay-Per-View event. It’s going to be called “WWE Breaking Point” and is rumored to be a submission themed pay per view. I kind of like the idea, though there aren’t really a whole heck of a lot of submission wrestlers on the roster that I can think of at the moment, so I can’t imagine what the matches would be.
The highlight of my week actually happened on TNA iMPACT! this past Thursday night as my favorite wrestler returned. During a therapy session, Dr. Stevie put Abyss in a straight jacket, prompting Lauren to come to his rescue. Through the crowd emerged a familiar face – RAVEN! The former NWA and ECW Champion took away Dr. Stevie’s kendo stick – and blasted Abyss with it himself! Raven and Dr. Stevie, the former ECW Tag Team Champions reunited with an embrace in the ring. Welcome back, Raven!
