Ahoy, all!

Your Empress of “Impact” has chosen to follow in the footsteps of the greatness that is JT (in honor of his and ThinkSoJoe’s birthdays tonight), and do a thoughts piece as opposed to a detailed review. Tonight’s episode of “Impact” provoked the following:

Everyone continues to cheer the Main Event Mafia. This whole angle only works if the dominant heel faction is, um, you know, heels. Can they at least try to be hated? A little?

Foley’s opening promo had the right idea, but this playing rational won’t last long. Foley, Jarrett, and the announce team have to stop treating both sides as moral equals and condemn the Main Event Mafia for things while praising the Originals. The audience can’t do it if you won’t. There’s already more MEM signs in the crowd than any other type. NOT a good thing.

ODB with a talk show? Oh, for the love of every version of God ever devised by the minds of mortals….

The first segment with Christian Cage being confronted by the Main Event Mafia was solid. I wonder if he’s as conflicted in real life about whether to go or stay. He’s either a much better actor than I thought he was, or it’s coming through.

Match #1: Awesome Kong (with Raisha Saeed) and Rhaka Khan vs. Taylor Wilde and Roxxi. The Knockouts Division has really fallen lately. Kong and Khan win. Taylor Wilde has just never done much for me. I don’t get the love. She really doesn’t seem all that good, and she has all the charisma and personality of a dead armadillo. Rhaka Khan is scary hot, but useless in the ring. She may leave. I grow weary of her presence.

To the back with Lauren and the Motor City Machine Guns! Promo time. They really need more. I get that we’re supposed to be kept guessing as to their motivations and their actions, and I’m certainly intrigued (as if anyone had to ask), but some better kind of explanation has to come from the Guns themselves. Yes, question why Joe and AJ are at the front of the line, the head of the snake, and so on. Point out everything they did, and that no one else helped them achieve it. Ask how following the lead of Joe and AJ is any different from letting the MEM dominate TNA. Question Foley’s concerns beyond his own financial issues. The “by any means necessary” line was good. Just give us something more to work with from THEM, not the announce team or Mick Foley.

Traci Brooks has her own office. Since when? Do all enforcers get their own offices? Raisha Saeed bellows at her that Kong needs more and better competition, and that if it isn’t provided, Kong will destroy innocent bystanders. With no contract. Please don’t do the audience thing again! You sort of blew it with Taylor Wilde, and you can’t just reboot and pretend no one noticed.

Match #2: “Showtime” Eric Young vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir for the X-Division title. Eric Young wins after referee Shane Sewell got involved. Eric Young as X-Division Champion? Meh. I don’t see it as long-term. Hopefully the title will mean what it used to mean, and the entire X-Division can be dusted off and held up to where it should have stayed all along. It used to headline pay-per-views, and be on par with the World title. May those days once again be close at hand.

A “Rough Cut” segment with Hernandez. One on Homicide must be coming. I can’t be the only one wishing for a return of the old LAX. The hardcore street thug gangsta LAX. The LAX that was brutal beyond all comprehension. The LAX with no need for Salinas or Hector Guerrero. They really need to be heels, but with the Main Event Mafia and Beer Money Inc., I suppose they’d just get lost in the proverbial shuffle. 

Petey and Jay Lethal need to drop their copycat gimmicks. Now. What does it say about the lameness of the Originals when several of them are knock-offs of their enemies?

Match #3: Scott Steiner vs. Rhino. A big, steaming plate of WHO CARES??? Seriously. I used to like Rhino a lot. Back when he was psycho crazy Rhino. Where art thou, psycho crazy Rhino?

Another backstage interview with Sting. He goes on about the Originals pointing fingers at each other when they keep losing matches. They don’t respect the Mafia, and they certainly don’t respect each other. Ok…. This situation gets you what, precisely? If the Main Event Mafia can run roughshod over TNA anyway, what possible difference would it make that the opposition is in chaos?

Match #4: Sting defeated Jay Lethal to retain the World Heavyweight title. Here’s a perfect example of things not fitting together. The Motor City Machine Guns come to ringside and cheer Jay Lethal on. Ok. Their interference was to help Lethal win. Ok. The announce team talks about their “uncaring attitude” and how they are only interested in themselves. Lethal refused to take the cheap shot, and lost because of it. Joe and AJ come down and lay into the Guns. Why? Didn’t Joe bring down the wrath of Sting in the first place for doing anything and everything to his opponents, “by any means necessary?” Isn’t Joe supposed to be the baddest man on the planet? How can he claim moral high ground, and why would he even want to? Shouldn’t the announce team point out that the Originals may have to try to beat the MEM at their own nasty, cheating little game because no other way will work? If this all builds to what the Originals are willing to do for victories, titles, power, and respect, that could be good stuff. I question whether anyone has thought that far along.

Petey’s beatdown should mark the end of the “Little Petey Pump” gimmick. If there is a non-JBL Wrestling God.

Match #5: Beer Money Inc. vs. Samoa Joe and AJ Styles for the Tag Team titles. Beer Money retains via spitting beer in the eyes. Again. James Storm riding the beer cooler/scooter to the ring wearing a helmet is the greatest thing in the history of things. Beer Money Inc. should lose the belts to LAX or the MCMG, but it looks like a face-ish Team 3D will be the ones to step up. So much for the match at “Turning Point” having any fallout.

I have no desire whatsoever to see Sarah Palin on my “Impact.” I don’t care what party or political leanings you have. Just no.

The Christian Cage beatdown really made me wonder what he was going to decide. He has reasons for both WWE and TNA, and if he’s really struggling with the decision, I hope he’s able to come to whatever makes him happier.

Those are the official boredwrestlingfan.com thoughts on this week’s “Impact,” and next week, you will all be back for more!

I shall return. And if I do not, avenge my death.


Peace out,


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

RSS Feeds

Posts by Category