It’s over now.

Legend Killer did an utterly bang-up job of real-time results, and by now you all know how the show played out, so there’s little point in rehashing it here. However, as one of the 72,744 attendees, several thoughts seemed worth sharing.

We were way up high in the nosebleed seats, but overlooking the ring was still great because you  don’t have to deal with people standing up in front of you. We were next to the side of the Titantron, so we couldn’t see any entrances as they happened, and had to depend on the monitors. The audio for the video packages was very distorted, and almost impossible to understand. Even the microphones weren’t very clear.

What? They cut the tag team unification match from the main show??? Curse you, you morons! I know that Vince hates tag teams, but Jeebus! The match was good, though. Carlito and Primo were super over. I was really surprised that they got the win, but The Miz and Morrison will get their belts back. You know it.

Why the hell is Skanky McUseless from the Pussycat Dolls mangling “America the Beautiful” in a vain attempt to sing it the “soul” way, when they have the magnificent Lillian Garcia right there? They should just let Lillian sing everything like that because she’s just that good.

Opening the “real” show with the Money in the Bank match? My friend Arthur was quite angry about this match being relegated to curtain jerk status, but Lance Storm says (and he has a good point) that you should open your show with the third-strongest match on your card to get everyone excited and into the show. I hung my “I’m Here for CM Punk” sign over the railing, but it never showed up on camera. Neither did my signs that read “The Triumvirate” and “Aaron Wood Sucks,” but I digress. Kofi Kingston looked great. I really like this guy. Christian! Yay! Oh my god! Punk wins! Punk wins! Sure, people are whining and moaning that he shouldn’t have won because he didn’t need it, and Christian should have won, but I don’t care because Punk wins! Look. Yes, there were some scattered boos, but those were immediately followed up by “Christian” chants. I think Christian is awesome. He was my Number Two choice to win it. However, people saw Christian return and immediately decided that he had to be the one behind Jeff Hardy’s accidents and should be instantly thrown into a program with Edge. There’s more than one way to tell a good story, and Christian will probably get his soon enough. This match was really good, and it’s not a given that Punk will cash in his title shot right away, or that he’ll lose when he does. Chillax, people!

Here is a quote from the real-time report:  

“Highlights of the WWE WM Fan AXXess tour. The tour looks huge! It would be a good event to go to, damn you Drow.”

Yes. Yes, it is. 🙂   😛

Kid Rock performance. I’m still a Kid Rock fan, so I was actually looking forward to this part. The guy did some of the best concerts I’ve attended. It would have been nice to have comprehensible audio, but one could still follow along. I had hoped for a piece of “American Badass,” but it was not to be. Nice segue into the Divas match by having them come out as he finished.

What a waste! They billed this as a 25-Diva battle royale, and made it seem like a significant deal, and we get this. Not one introduction. No one could even tell who was in the match. So much for Divas of past and present. Why bother with Sunny and Molly Holly and Victoria if you don’t even let us know they’re there? Honestly, this came off as a Plan L after their initial idea didn’t work out because all the major Divas turned down the offer to be there. Don’t get me wrong, Santino was priceless, and made it worth watching, but this was not a Wrestlemania moment of which to be proud.

Man, Steamboat can go! This is what retiring and staying retired before your body falls apart can do. I will always have a major soft spot in my heart for Rowdy Roddy Piper, and his entrance got the best reaction, but this was all about the Dragon. Jericho getting the win was a major shocker. I honestly didn’t think that they’d do it. Jericho calling out Mickey Rourke afterwards was cool. Some people have criticized quite heavily the Rourke/Jericho post-match doings, but it played well live. Rourke used to be a boxer, so the idea that Jericho thought Rourke would try to wrestle, and Rourke punched him instead was neat.

Matt Hardy has a good look with the tights. I don’t know how long he’s had that look, but he should definitely keep it. Even by Jeff Hardy standards, that was some odd face paint. Good match, but too heavy on the “trash can and cookie sheet” stuff. Why can’t they realize that “Extreme Rules” matches don’t have to be all about the plunder? This could have been an amazing match instead of a good one, and not required anything beyond the table/ladder/chair combination. Yes! Matt won! Why does everybody think that the babyface has to win at Mania? This story is clearly not over, and Jeff can’t score a decisive win over Matt until it’s ready to end.

IC title match. JBL is in Texas, and no limo? Hmm. Rey! Oh my god! I actually jumped up out of my seat and shouted, “He’s the Joker! Holy shit, Rey is the fucking Joker!” in the middle of a large section of children. And their parents. It wasn’t on purpose, I just reacted first and looked around me later. Aside from CM Punk’s victory and Undertaker’s entrance, I marked out for Rey’s entrance/costume more than anything else the whole night. It may be sad, but your words can’t hurt me. Again, lots of complaining over this match, and there shouldn’t be. JBL repeatedly promised that he would make history at Wrestlemania. He went on to promise the most dominant title match and so on, and that’s exactly what happened. It just wasn’t his victory. Think of it like the prophecy that a great kingdom shall fall. The king asking the oracle didn’t know if it would be his own or his enemy’s. This match was absolutely fine.

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker. Amazing entrances for both guys. HBK’s descent from Heaven in white clothing and light really threw some people at first, but we were all staring intently. Then when “Sexy Boy” kicked in, the place went nuts. Undertaker rising up from Hell, and then doing his traditional entrance, was as spine-tinglingly awesome as ever. Seriously, it never gets old. Match of the night, no question. Taker kept the Streak intact, which was the right thing. HBK did not need to be the guy who ended it, if it gets ended at all.

After this match, lots of people around me got up and left. In several sections. That should tell you something. They didn’t just hit the restrooms or the consession stands, they packed up and LEFT.

The Edge/Big Show/Cena match angered me so very badly. For one thing, Edge entered first. The only champion all night to enter first. I don’t care who your golden boy/face of the company is, the champion should ALWAYS enter last. It didn’t really matter anyway, as this entire thing was “The John Cena Show.” The video package that was played focused entirely on him. You barely knew that Edge was the champion or that Big Show and Edge were serious competitors. It was all Cena. When his old music started and the never-ending lines of Cenabots walked down the ramp, some people did actually boo. Of course, the place exploded when he came out, and there’s no doubt that his popularity is legit, but he was the only one of the three who got a “Wrestlemania” entrance, and that was just wrong. The match itself wasn’t great, and I really felt bad for Edge. He’s better than this. Cena picking up both the Big Show and Edge at the same time for an Attitude Adjustment and actually getting a pin out of it was laughable. Seriously, they may as well have just handed Cena the belt after his entrance. It couldn’t have been more ridiculously obvious.

Hall of Fame inductees come out. Nice touch. Austin’s 4-wheeler rampage and beer bash was expected, to a degree, and pretty much everyone was into it.

HHH and Orton. Jeebus, this match was bad. The pacing was beyond plodding, and the idea that a Wrestlemania main event title match was set up to be reversed on the following RAW is an insult of the highest degree. 50/50 booking is bad enough under regular circumstances, but this? This thing? This thing through which we all had to suffer? No. No, not at all. What should have been Randy Orton’s gloriously shining moment was destroyed, and the McFamily can rot in hell. I’m only watching RAW for CM Punk anyway.

Peace out,



  1. They should've done some sort of intro for the diva battle royal. Watching at home, the only one we could identify in it was Santino, everyone else was just a blone or brunette.

    Good piece as always.

  2. I have a slight correction for you Drow – Edge was NOT the only champion to come out first for his match. JBL came out before Rey Mysterio did.

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